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Kinky Dating, Porno Romance + #TrumpCareFail Celebration this Saturday on DrSuzy-Tv! Comments Off

This Saturday night, July 22nd, The Dr. Susan Block Show will explore kinky dating, porno fun and the dramatic defeat of TrumpCare (though the battle isn't over)! Joining international sexologist and Bonobo Way author Dr. Susan Block will be "Dating Kinky" Mistress Heather Claus, porn star couple Kenzie Reeves & Kyle Mason, and Trump impersonator John Walker, as well as our own Gypsy Bonobo , Jacquie Blu, Capt'n Max, plus more TBA. Breaking News: Pansensual Power Couple Daniele Watts & Chef Be*Live will join us!

Click Here to RSVP to attend this show in the “Speakeasy” studio audience this Saturday, or call 626.461.5950 (you can call anytime; someone is always here). Studio doors open at 9:30 pm. Studio Members FREE. Membership Has Its Pleasures.

“Secret Agent Sex & Military Fetish Affairs” this Saturday on The Dr. Susan Block Show (0)

“From Bond to Petraeus, 'spy sex' is thrilling—especially when the spies get caught in the act by their own surveillance system!” says Dr. Block.

In the wake of the Petraeus Affair, this Saturday night’s live broadcast of The Dr. Susan Block Show will go under covers with spy sex, shirtless scandal, military fetishes and secret wartime love.

Joining international sexologist Dr. Susan Block in her BonoboVille broadcast studios will be the voluptuous Vicky Vixen, skydiving porn star Hope Howell, hot T-Girl Jaslyn Lee and porn couple Shay Golden & Brock Hard who will roleplay Paula Broadwell and David Petraeus in a costumed Commedia Erotica parody.

Secret Agent Sex & Military Fetish Affairs will air live November 17th, 2012, 10:30pm-Midnight PST on The Dr. Susan Block Show. Listen FREE at http://tinyurl.com/RadioSex Call-In Free: 1.866.289.7068

Watch the LIVE BROADCAST & See All the Pix and Past Shows at http://drsusanblock.com/TV.html.

To join our exclusive live in-studio audience and the after-party at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy in the Soul of Downtown LA, aka BonoboVille, call or go to http://tinyurl.com/DrSuzyRSVP

Read Dr. Block’s blog on the Petraeus Affair and Greek mythology: http://bloggamy.com/petraeus.

Proceeds from donations go to help save the highly endangered “make love not war” bonobos from extinction in Congo and to promote the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure around the world. Dr. Block and guests will enjoy sex toys provided by Sybian, CalExotics, ScreamingO, Stockroom, JuxLeather and Condomania condoms, plus a fine art exhibit featuring Anthony Winn’s Stripperella artwork and the classical erotic paintings of Scott Siedman. The Dr. Susan Block Show beverages of choice is Absinthe and Agwa di Bolivia Coca Leaf Liqueur, among the many fine libations and gourmet hors d’oeuvres featured at the always-popular Speakeasy Open Bar and Aphrodisiac Buffet.

The Dr. Susan Block Show is produced by The Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, an international center for sexual expression, therapy and education, based in LA. Founded in 1991 by Susan M. Block, PhD, world-renowned Yale-educated sexologist, best-selling author and host of HBO specials, the Institute’s mission is to help individuals, couples and communities enhance their sexuality and improve their lives based upon Dr. Block’s philosophy of Ethical Hedonism and the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure.

KINK Comments Off

“Sex comes to most of us with a twist.” ―Iris Murdoch, The Nice and the Good

Kink is in the air, whether it shocks you to your core or leaves you wanting more. Kink is everywhere, in the clothes you dare to wear, the body parts you bare, the language(s) you speak and even the foods you eat. Kinks of various kinds pervade art, entertainment, media, technology, business, sports, gaming, politics and protest, not to mention human sexuality, romances, relationships and your deepest secret fantasies. Personally, I enjoy a variety of kinks (see below), and I often mix them, like tasty spices and saucy sauces, into the main meal of my marriage. As a sexologist and sex therapist in private practice for over 30 years, as well as a talk show host and best-selling author who deals with sensitive sexual subjects, I’ve helped thousands of people to accept, express and enjoy their kinky feelings, handle their related problems, and share their kinks and fetishes consensually with fellow adult kinksters, or even with someone new. Very often, helping someone to handle their kink(s) is a gateway to guiding them into a better, healthier, happier life in general. So… how kinky are you? Do you want to be kinkier? Or maybe not so kinky? Is your favorite kink an erotic pleasure beyond compare or a deep dark secret you’re afraid to share? Or is it a complex kinky combo of the two?

The Joy of Kink

Come with me on a fascinating, stimulating, sex educational journey through the dazzling and powerful, yet often perplexing and hazardous world of kink in history, art, entertainment, relationships, fashion, food, religion, politics, protest, love, war and your brain. First, let’s define our terms. In conversation, dissertations and pillow talk, people use the word “kink” to convey a multitude of ideas, objects, turn-ons, turn-offs, activities and fantasies in a million different ways, some of which are “kink-positive,” others negative, and many are very confused.

Virtually any fetish could be considered kinky, though a kink isn’t necessarily a fetish.

So, what does kink mean? Before the word entered the sexual lexicon, the original meaning of “kink” was—and still is—a “twist,” “bend,” “curve” or “turn,” such as a “kink” in the road or “kinky hair.” The word kink was first recorded in the 1670s as a Dutch nautical term for a twist or knot in a rope, probably related to the Old Icelandic or Norse kikna, meaning “to bend at the knees.” Over a century later, in 1803, U.S. President and consummate wordsmith Thomas Jefferson took the word “kink” out of the mundane world of ropes and roads and into the psychological realm by writing about a “mental twist, a whim.” With all those knotty ropes, bent knees and twisted Jeffersonian whims, I’m sure many 19th century individuals *in the know* were saying—or at least whispering—the word “kinky” to describe or at least suggest bent, curvy or twisted sex, as well. After all, an erotic kink is also a twist, curve or turn away from conventional, “straight” and narrow, “vanilla,” penis-in-vagina (PIV) sexual activity between husband and wife for procreational purposes only, under the covers with the lights out. Anything else would be fair game to be designated kinky, and by the mid-20^th century, it officially was. The problem was—and still is—that so many people have such strong disapproving opinions about unconventional sexuality, that they can’t resist imposing negative value judgments on kink… even in dictionaries! I’ll bet you know people like that. I certainly do. As of this writing, Dictionary.com defines kink as “bizarre or unconventional sexual preferences or behavior” and the Cambridge Dictionary explains it as “a strange habit, usually of a sexual nature.” Bizarre? Strange? While these definitions might have some validity—and giggle value (if you’re into poking fun at your own kinks)—they are disdainful and kink-negative. Sure, some kinks are a little “bizarre,” like my sex therapy client who enjoys getting tarred and feathered, Puritan punishment-style. Then there’s my ammosexual client who imagines being cuckolded by AR-15-brandishing cartoon characters with even bigger weapons between their legs. However, kinks can be as sweet and wholesome as apple pie… especially if your kink is for splosh. With a hat tip to Alex Comfort, whose Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking was a Bible for the Sexual Revolution of the 1970s, come let us explore the joy of kink.

Need to Work the Kinks Out?

“Girl, you really got me goin' You got me so I don't know what I'm doin' Yeah, you really got me now You got me so I can't sleep at night” —The Kinks

In many definitions, “kink” denotes something that needs to be fixed or straightened out…such as “a kink in your back” (ouch!) or the idea that “we need to work out the kinks.” That could be true, as The Kinks themselves would sing, your kinks could keep you up all night or get you into trouble. However, it’s just as possible that exploring your kinks—consensually and responsibly—turns out to be one of the greatest, most exciting, most meaningful, healing, enlightening and therapeutic parts of your life. It could even work out that nasty kink in your back!

Is a Fetish a Kink?

A kink can be physical or psychological, and usually, it’s both. The same is true of a sexual fetish, which is a profound, undeniable, erotic desire for something. It can be anything, but not just anything. A fetish is something special—at least, for the fetishist. It could be for an inanimate object, activity or situation. It could be a yearning for something, perhaps an article of clothing, such as high heels, lingerie, a boot or a burqa; or a body part, like breasts, butts, feet or hair. One could also have a fetish for an activity, like watching, being watched, spanking or being spanked; or a situation, such as a mistress/slave, teacher/student, doctor/patient, seductress/neophyte, goddess/gangbang or cuckold/hotwife/bull relationship. Some psychologists call this strong, deep-seated, sometimes compulsive, erotic need a “paraphilia,” but that’s medically loaded, so we’ll stick with “fetish” for now. Whatever the fetish object, activity or situation might be, the fetishist invests great power into it. The fetish object might exude great sexual power for the fetishist, great religious power, or perhaps a mixture of both. In the classic sense, the sexual fetishist requires the fetish object—or at least, a fantasy of the fetish object—in order to have sex. The male fetishist needs this thing, activity, situation or fantasy to get an erection; he cannot get excited without it, and he may become obsessed with it. For the human female, sexual arousal and fetishism are a little more mysterious and difficult to pinpoint. One could say that the female fetishist needs the fetish object to desire or enjoy sex. More often, it seems that human females attempt to excite male fetishistic desire. So, what’s the difference between a kink and a fetish? Technically, the term “kink” doesn’t indicate the same intense need as the term “fetish.” Virtually any fetish could be considered kinky, though a kink isn’t necessarily a fetish. That’s the clinical difference, but in the real world, there’s a lot of overlap, and people often use the terms interchangeably. Kink can be good, bad or neutral for the individual, the couple and/or society. Usually, I think, kink is good! Read on to find out why…

Are You into Taboo?

“If I tell you If I tell you now Will you keep on Will you keep on loving me? If I tell you If I tell you how I feel Will you keep bringing out the best in me? You give me the sweetest taboo... …. There's a quiet storm And it never felt this hot before Giving me something that's taboo” —Sade

Kink can be a little—or a lot—taboo. It may be as public, legal, harmless and heart-warming as wearing a diamond-studded collar with a heart locket given to you by your beloved spouse. Nevertheless, there is always a forbidden “Sweetest Taboo,” a transgressive element to kink, something that’s a little (or a lot) “off” the beaten track, with an edge of danger, even if trust is strong and all safety precautions have been taken. The word taboo stems from the Fijian “tabu,” Polynesian “tapu” and Hawaiian “kapu,” all of which mean “not to be touched.” This is not because the taboo object is gross or dirty, but because it is extremely sacred, a religious object forbidden to the uninitiated. Interestingly, many such sacred objects were and are phallic in nature, such as a flute, spear, baton or totem pole, or round and vaginal like a bowl, chalice or the Holy Grail. Of course, these strict prohibitions render the “tabu” very intimidating, but they also make the uninitiated extremely curious and perhaps aroused by touching—or just thinking about touching—that which is taboo. As the great French mid-20^th century erotic philosopher, Georges Bataille, said, “transgression” is a cornerstone of human eroticism. That is, sometimes we’re turned on by something we also find wrong, shameful, humiliating or forbidden. In Eroticism: Death & Sensuality, Bataille discussed civilized humanity’s ongoing struggle between sensuous pleasure and shame that generates eroticism and, to a certain extent, kink.

Shame is a horrible feeling... [but it] is also an essential component of the forbidden boundaries that we find so exciting to transgress, tease, crisscross, break, spank, overthrow or just throw out the window of inhibition.

A lot of people use the terms “shame” and “guilt” interchangeably. Though they are related, they mean very different things. You feel guilt when you feel badly about something you did, like cheating, stealing or hurting someone. In many cases, guilt is an appropriate feeling for having done wrong, though we often blow it out of proportion. You feel shame when you feel badly about who or what you are. Shame is almost never appropriate but, unfortunately, we all know the feeling. Shame is that terrible feeling of self-blame that comes over us like a hot flash of mortification following a perceived failure, or the fear of being disgraced. Unlike guilt, which is usually over something you did recently, shame is most often rooted in childhood trauma. One of the worst aspects of childhood trauma-rooted shame is that it tends to inhibit us—sexually and otherwise—through adulthood. So, shame is really bad, right? Well, yes, for the most part, shame is horrible, painful, debilitating, irrational and can lead to harming yourself or others. Lurking fearfully and tearfully among our vast spectrum of emotions, shame can be a monster in penitent’s clothing. However, as Bataille points out, shame is also an essential component of the forbidden boundaries that we find so exciting to transgress, tease, crisscross, break, spank, overthrow or just throw out the window of inhibition. Engaging in nonconsensual kinks, like coercive or inappropriate sex, yet channeling those urges through consensual BDSM, is a great way to find that arousing erotic friction, release, adventure and fulfillment.

The consenting adult enjoyment of kink can be a positive, even therapeutic solution to processing childhood trauma as well as everyday problems like stress, anxiety and loneliness, not to mention horniness.

Sexual kinks can cause problems—sometimes big problems, like drug addiction, divorce, crippling shyness, sexual assault and even homicide. However, if handled with care, they can be the opposite of a problem. Indeed, the consenting adult enjoyment of kink can be a positive, even therapeutic solution to processing childhood trauma as well as everyday issues like stress, anxiety and loneliness, not to mention horniness. As long as you can handle them responsibly, be grateful for your kinks!

COMMON SEXUAL KINKS

There are as many kinks as there are people. Actually, there are more, since the majority of kinksters enjoy more than one kink. However, the following are some of the most popular, according to surveys and my own anecdotal (but considerable!) experience as a sex therapist in private practice since 1991, as well as hosting shows and bacchanals celebrating “Kink Month” every October since 2015. I’ve considered myself kinky since my first Threshold Society play party back in 1989. I was blown away! I only wish I could have read an article like this before I attended that party. Instead, I embarrassed myself by interrupting a scene to ask the smiling, shackled woman at the center of it if she was “all right.” She was. But talk about breaking the mood! Fortunately, she and everyone else there laughed good-naturedly at my naïveté and proceeded to teach me the ways of kink. Indeed, we can all learn from past mistakes--kinks in the road of life--and hopefully you can learn from some of mine. If your favorite kink isn’t here, never fear! Check out our “What Can We Talk About?” page, call my show on Saturday nights (626.461.5212) or, if you need to talk privately, call our kink-positive Therapists Without Borders anytime: 213.291.9497.

The ABCs of BDSM

Though there are almost as many different kinks as there are stars in the sky, a lot of them fit under the Big Tent of BDSM, which breaks down to Bondage & Discipline (B&D), Dominance & Submission (D/s); Sadomasochism (SM). If you want to engage in BDSM play, I recommend you study this ancient, somewhat esoteric practice, preferably with an experienced BDSM practitioner, then start light and gradually ease into more intense activity. Take classes at DomCom (check out DomCon 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020) or other BDSM conventions, or splurge on private instruction. When engaged in responsibly, the safe, sane and consensual (SSC) exploration of BDSM can be an excellent, peaceful yet exciting and very bonoboësque channel for erotic power exchange. A step beyond SSC is RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. That may sound like alphabet soup, but SSC RACK can be a way to express violent impulses without hurting anyone, including yourself. It can involve sexual psychodrama, safely and imaginatively releasing aggressive forces that fester in our subconscious, so they don’t explode into destructive behavior. In our modern militaristic, ammosexual culture, it’s no surprise that many of us have violent fantasies and desires. Of course, acting on these fantasies nonconsensually would be unethical and criminal, not to mention heinous. So… what to do about them? Complete suppression is usually the only solution on the table, even though it has long been proven to be ineffective and, for many, impossible. What about BDSM? It’s certainly no panacea, and kinksters can be abusers like anyone else. However, the conscientious practice of safe, sane and consensual BDSM can effectively channel these feelings, even helping to curb domestic violence and perhaps other types of violence as well. Studies have yet to be done on this subject, but based on over three decades of experience as a sex therapist, a relationship counselor and a kinkster, I say: Yes! Kink can be that healing. Can conscientious kink practice help to foster conditions for world peace? Considering the chances of WWIII, it's worth a try. So, on a recent FDR podcast, we sounded the antiwar kinkster's *battle cry*: MAKE KINK NOT WAR!

Domination & submission

“There's a new game We like to play you see A game with added reality You treat me like a dog Get me down on my knees We call it master and servant It's a lot like life… Domination's the name of the game In bed or in life They're both just the same Except in one you're fulfilled At the end of the day Let’s play master and servant” ―Depeche Mode

Consensual sexual domination—when one partner takes charge and the other voluntarily gives up their power—is a cornerstone of kink, and submission is its flip side. D/s could involve body worship, impact play, bondage, humiliation, sissy maid service a "money slave" relationship or any number of other activities involving power exchange. This seems like a good time to note that the kinky *games* old Tommy Jefferson played with his longtime sex slave Sally Hemings were wrong because he actually—legally—did own her. We will never know if Sally had a good time with Tom because she was never allowed to make that choice to be with him. Unlike Sally, a consenting adult kinky BDSM “slave” can choose to stop the scene and/or leave any time they want. Their “slavery” is just an illusion (or should be). Nevertheless, it can be very powerful. It’s also very popular. According to a 2016 study in the Journal of Sex Research, 47% of women and 60% of men fantasized about dominating a partner. A YouGovAmerica study showed that 53% of Americans say that they enjoy dominance or submission, with the most common answer (28%) being that they like being both at different times. About a third (33%) say that they don't want to be either dominant or submissive, while 14% either don't know or “prefer not to say.” Something tells me that those that “don’t know” or “prefer not to say” are the kinkiest of all. My guess is that they enjoy some kind of submission since folks tend to be most embarrassed to admit to that… It’s funny how ashamed so many of us are of our yearning for sexual surrender; even though, when you think about it, surrender is an essential aspect of orgasm. However, surrender may be expressed in some seemingly odd and disturbing ways, like humiliation, i.e., being stepped on literally or figuratively, sexually denigrated in some fashion—such as being called a “dirty slut,” “worthless turd,” “pencil-dick,” "piggy bank" or “cum receptacle.” To an outside observer, this might seem crazy; why would someone get aroused from being degraded and seemingly exploited? The answer is complicated and varies from person to person. For example, if humiliation is your kink, you might have a sexual anxiety so great—such as fear you’ll be exposed as the horny loser you think you are or that someone will laugh at your penis—that your libido actually floods your bloodstream with arousal to kill the (emotional) pain before it kills you. So yes, your humiliation kink might be saving your life.

Freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second.

Nevertheless, it’s confusing, unnerving and can be very tough to talk about… even though talking about it with someone who cares and understands is often the best thing for you. If you’re struggling with your own desires for humiliation or other controversial forms of erotic domination, it might benefit you to talk with a therapist, a very knowledgeable dominatrix or another kink professional. The Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute are experts in these areas, and your confidentiality is guaranteed. Call us anytime you need to talk: 213.291.9497.

Bondage

Bondage, aka restraint, is a popular kink, and not just because of those kinks in the ropes! I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: Freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second. Besides those eternally kinky ropes (jute being a favorite), types of bondage might include handcuffs, shackles, collars, straightjackets, spreader bars, harnesses or four “50 Shades of Grey” silk ties fastened securely around your wrists and ankles. There’s also psychological bondage. Before engaging in certain types of bondage, you might sign a “binding” contract which, though it lends a certain seriousness to the proceedings, probably wouldn’t hold up in a court of law. In a typical bondage scene, you might also be blindfolded, hooded, muzzled, dominated, restrained by a ball gag, locked up in a chastity belt, strapped down to a medical examination table, put into a posture collar, led around on a leash, shut up in a cage, zipped into a sleep sack, suspended from the ceiling, put into a sling, turned into a piece of human art with beautiful Japanese Shibari or Kinbaku, tied spread-eagle to a four-poster bed or latched onto a St. Andrews’s Cross while being spanked or flogged. Then again, for some of us, the kinkiest form of (psychological) bondage is the wedding ring. For more about bondage and how it can be used for pleasure, adventure, personal discovery and healing therapy, click Bondage Therapy.

Spanking

“Dick and Jane were on a date Dicky said it's getting late How's about a little kiss? Well, Jane grabbed her ankles and said how about this: Why don't you smack my bottom? Smack my bottom! Won't you smack my bottom 'till my tiny little heiny glows?” —The Wetspots

To spank means “to strike or slap the buttocks, usually with the palm of the hand,” according to Webster’s. Spankings may be given for real punishment—as in spanking children against their will—or pleasure—as in spanking among consenting adults. Spanking children isn’t kinky; it’s child abuse. On the other hand, erotic consensual adult spanking is one of the most popular kinks there is, whether or not you were spanked as a child. The pain-laced pleasures of adult “erotic spanking” range from light slaps on the butt during lovemaking to more formal, over-the-knee (OTK) roleplay to a mistress smacking her naughty slave’s reddened rear within their D/s (dominance and submission) lifestyle. Here at the Institute, we love consenting adult spanking of all kinds, including impact play with whips, floggers, paddles, books (read it or get red from it!) or belts—with or without roleplay. We certainly do a lot of spanking on DrSuzy.Tv, especially on certain holidays like Spanksgiving, Lupercalia, Krampus, Full Moons, Happy Nude Rear parties, birthdays and all through Kink Month. Not only do many of our shows—from Spanking the tRump Turkey on Spanksgiving to Lupercalian Whipping to A Spankophiliacs Delight (warning: this one includes very hard spanking)—feature impact play, we have created several excellent spanking education resources for you. Want more? Of course, you do! Click on these links:

Spanking for Dummies (beginners start here)
Spank ‘n’ Art Speakeasy Journal
“Erotic Spanking” definition in Wiley-Blackwell Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality
Spankology 101
Spanking Phone Sex Therapy

Body Part Kinks

Breasts – The most common all-American fetish might be the one so many men—and a lot of women—have for the female chest, perhaps connected to our deep need for nurturance. Find out more about breasts, boobs, nipples, mammaries, lactating, the all-natural bosom vs. surgically enhanced porn star boobs, coitus a mammalia and more—plus what it all means and how it can (seriously!) heal you—under Breast Therapy. Buttocks – Coming in for a close second as America’s (and the world’s) favorite fetish would be a “nice butt”… but what is “nice”? What’s the bottom line? That depends on the fanny fetishist, their culture and personal taste. Some “like big butts and [they] cannot lie.” Others prefer cute little buns, a heart-shaped ass, a strong muscular posterior or a soft cushy tushy, a panty-clad bottom or a stripped bare derrière. Some butt-lovers are into anal sex, doggy-style, spanking, squeezing, licking or worshipping that fine behind. But… what about the person with the “nice” butt? Assuming all is consensual (no pinching without permission!), the bottom is truly the “seat” of human pleasure, physiologically speaking, with lots of touch-responsive nerve endings that are in deliciously close proximity to the genitalia. Since there also tends to be a fair amount of padding down there, it is not so sensitive to consensually administered pain. And yes, a lot of people have a fetish for having their own butt played with! For more about butts, see the Spanking Links above or click on Anal Sex Therapy. Feet – A kink for feet is a little less common than boobs or buns, but foot fetishists are a passionate bunch. Not that they usually come in bunches, as many are embarrassed to admit to their kink. Nevertheless, once upon a time, here at the Institute, we held fabulous Foot Fetish Salons with massage, tickling, trampling and foot bondage workshops, followed by shrimping cocktails and tequila toe shots, a few of which are featured in our classic Feet for Lovers video. For more foot fetish information, try playing footsie with these links:

Ejaculate – Male and female ejaculation are normal aspects of sex and climax. Most of us enjoy orgasm, of course—though women squirting is controversial and even banned by some governments that confuse female ejaculate or amrita with urine. However, some people have an intense fetish for cum (or come). This is one kink that is probably enhanced by frequent porn-viewing—especially in terms of male orgasm or semen—as so much of straight and gay male porn focuses on the “money shot.” In case you’re wondering why “ejaculate” is in this Body Part section, it’s because just before you shoot, your cum was part of your body.

Medical Kinks

How about “playing doctor”? Are you aroused by giving or receiving a medical exam or other “sexy nurse,” doctor or patient fantasies? These are some of the more common medical kinks, and with hospitals and health workers of all kinds looming large through the Coronapocalypse in our lives and in the media, medical fantasies are more popular—though also more taboo—than ever.

Knowledge is power, and sexual knowledge is sexual power.

One rather controversial type of medical kink that’s been in the news is the anesthesia or sleep fetish, an offshoot being Sleeping Beauty Syndrome, which actor Bill Cosby was convicted of engaging in nonconsensually, though that conviction was overturned. Obviously, pharmaceutical and medical kinks like this can be extremely dangerous when pursued irresponsibly. However, kink-positive therapy and sex education can help you to enjoy them in a safe, sane, consensual manner. Exhibitionism & Voyeurism Almost everyone wants to see and/or be seen. These are the driving forces of voyeurism and exhibitionism, as well as the entire entertainment industry (not limited to porn) and social media. What does it mean to be seen? To be seen is to be immortal, if only for a moment, through the eyes of another. Triumphant. Shining like a star. Recognized. Celebrated. For that moment, you might feel you rule the world. You are an “influencer”—of billions or just one special witness to your wonderfulness. That’s the thrill of exhibitionism. What about seeing? To see is to go behind the curtain, to gain knowledge of the taboo, a taste of the apple or the delicious eye (or ear) candy, the euphoria of esoteric awareness. Knowledge is power, and sexual knowledge is sexual power. No wonder you feel so excited and even powerful when you see someone or something special that turns you on. No wonder we all can appreciate the erotic thrills of voyeurism… We may or may not call ourselves voyeurs. However, at least sometimes, all of us like to watch.

Pansexuality

Do you enjoy sex with more than one partner… maybe even at the same time? Are you drawn to threesomes, swinging, orgies, play parties, designer relationships or consensual gangbangs? Perhaps you’re not such a party animal, but you still like sexual variety, preferring polyamory, which means “many loves,” not just many lovers.

Call it communal ecstasy… like you’re at the best concert ever, plus orgasms.

Whether you’re only fantasizing or living the dream, all of these sex and relationship forms could be considered “kinky,” since they are all nonmonogamous. Most human societies around the world promote, endorse and sometimes compel “monogamy”—which has different meanings, but generally entails being sexually exclusive with one person for life—usually the person to whom you’re married. There’s nothing wrong with monogamy. In fact, for me personally and probably for most people, private couple sex is the most intimate, meaningful kind of sex there is. However, there is also something very special and truly wonderful about the “collective joy” (with a hat tip to Barbara Ehrenreich) of group sex that partner sex simply cannot duplicate. Call it communal ecstasy…like you’re at the best concert ever, plus orgasms. In a way, nonmonogamy is more natural than monogamy. That’s why so many people cheat! Bonobos, whose Latin name pan paniscus conveys their affinity for pansexuality (named for the Greek god Pan, Lord of the Wild), are our closest great ape cousins. Along with common chimpanzees (pan troglodyte), bonobos have been practicing consensual nonmonogamy for many thousands of years—at least. Moreover, the bonobo *brand* of nonmonogamy is a cornerstone of their lifestyle, since it is a vital aspect of the bonobos’ ability to make “peace through pleasure” in their communities. Do bonobos ever get jealous? Of course, they do. But love is not a zero-sum game for them, and they just have ways to work it out through sex and affections. For instance, among humans and bonobos, the best cure for a lover’s quarrel (as long as it’s not over anything serious) is kinky make-up sex. Our Great Ape nature is to share our love and lust, yet most of our strictly monogamous human societies denounce pansexuality in all its various forms, sometimes condemning it as “Satanic,” and certainly giving it that taboo quality that can turn any natural erotic feeling into a kink. Of course, I’m just scratching the surface of pansexuality here, so click on the links with the pansexual kinks that most appeal to you: Group Sex Therapy “Sex at Dawn” interview with Dr. Christopher Ryan “Ethical Slut” interview with author Janet W. Hardy American Swing Multiamory Show Designer Relationships Gangbang Sex Therapy Pansensuality Show Pan in Lupercalia 2020 Bonobo Nonmonogamy lecture Bonobo Nonmonogamy journal #GoBonobos in 2022 Cuckolding

“She’s my best friend’s girl But she used to be mine” —The Cars

Cuckolding is a special kind of pansexual kink, and the cuckold is a very special kind of kinkster. He (though “cuckqueens” exist, the typical cuckold is a “he”) is sexually aroused by the fantasy or reality of his sexual partner—usually his wife, girlfriend, or a woman he finds attractive, often called a “hotwife”—having sex with another partner, most likely a virile, well-endowed man, called a “bull.” Cuckolding could be centered on consensual kink—which is usually best for all involved—or it could involve cheating (not recommended). Cuckold fantasies are extremely common; in part, because they are driven by a basic biological phenomenon called “Sperm Wars.” However, many cuckold fetishists feel torn and fraught with anxiety over being aroused by something so denigrated in society. Ironically, that conflict itself tends to create greater arousal. Like most kinks, it’s best to accept the desire for cuckolding, though it need not always be acted upon in real life. For more about cuckoldry, click…

Cuckold Erotica definition in Wiley-Blackwell Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality
“The Cuckoldress” on Tv
The Cuckoldress Journal
Sperm Wars video
Sperm Wars article
Politics & Cuckolding: Paul Manafort
Cuckold Jerry Falwell Falls
Church-Based Cuckoldry Gone Wrong
Cheating Phone Sex Therapy
Cuckolding Phone Sex Therapy

More Kinks More Fun

Don’t see your particular kink or fetish listed here? Have no fear! There are many more below, and even more on our “What Can We Talk About?” page. And here’s an even more extensive List of Kinks, as well as here and here, with everything under the sun, including the sun itself, which some people with “actirasy” find arousing. See, it’s not just bikinis that turn on the beach bums.

Gender Fluid Kink

Nowadays, “gender” is a psychologically and politically freighted term. People have strong ideas about what’s right and wrong in all shades of the gender spectrum (who you are)—as well as in terms of sexual orientation (who you like)—and some are fighting hard for their ideas to gain or maintain acceptance. There’s a lot at stake. Adding erotic fuel to the gender fires, arousal isn’t always politically correct. In fact, it’s often unintentionally the opposite of what you believe is “right,” as part of the excitement of kink lies in its taboo nature and shock value. True transgender people aren’t necessarily kinky, and their transition isn’t a kink; it’s their life.

Some call it "the best of both worlds."

On the other hand, there are many folks of all genders who enjoy crossdressing or sissification just for the kink of it. For some, especially the sissies, the more politically incorrect, the kinkier! On the other side of the equation, there are many folks who have a kink or fetish for lovers who are transgender. Something about the combination of so-called male and female characteristics drives some sexually people wild. It’s more popular than you might think, since many trans admirers are embarrassed to talk about it. It may be politically incorrect to say, but some call it “the best of both worlds.” Need to talk privately about your trans interests, desires, problems or fantasies? Call our Therapists Without Borders anytime at 213.291.9497. We're here for you.

Kink in Nature

Humans aren’t the only kinky creatures on the planet. In fact, I often call bonobos the “kinkiest apes on Earth” as they enjoy many of the kinks I’ve described here. That is, they engage in a variety of consensual erotic behaviors that are not for procreation purposes, or really any *purpose* other than pleasure. Keep in mind that pleasure is a very important, worthy purpose, especially in Bonoboville. That simple exchange of kinky pleasures makes bonobos the Most Peaceful Apes on Earth, never seen killing each other in the wild or captivity. Kink is also the basis for bonobo bisexuality, ecosexuality, bonobo female empowerment, male well-being and bonobos’ penchant for sharing, making them the Most Socialist Apes on Earth, as well. Does that mean if humans were kinkier, we’d be more peaceful, female-empowered, male-nurturing and egalitarian? Does being consensually kinky mean valuing lust over greed? I certainly think so, and that’s one of the principles of “releasing your inner bonobo” through practicing The Bonobo Way. Humans and bonobos aren’t the only ones. Many nonhuman animals indulge in kinky activities. Haven’t you ever had a dog hump your leg? I’m not trying to encourage bestiality (on the contrary), so hold your horses on that notion (then again, Adam Driver as a centaur is pretty hot). I just want you to rest assured that, in general, your kinks are perfectly natural, and we perverted humans aren’t the only kinksters-in-residence on this planet. Most of nature is quite kinky. It’s the dirty—as in polluting—aspects of humanity that are the problem… not our kinkiness! Pro Tip: Just because kink is as natural as any kind of sex doesn't make it good. If you want kink--or any kind of sex--to be good, you have to learn a thing or too. But then, that's why you're reading this! Kink and Culture Though the rest of nature is at least as kinky as we are, over the millennia, we humans have put our unique anthropocene spin on kink through our culture, art, architecture, technology and politics. It's difficult to say just where erotica ends and "regular" art begins—especially “in the beginning.” Arguably, the first form of human performance art may well have been kinky dancing. The oldest sculpted art piece in the world, the Venus of Willendorf (24,00-22,00 B.C.E.)—big breasts, belly, hair and a distinct vulva, but no face—is pretty kinky. Is it goddess worship or prehistoric objectification or both? Some have even called it a sex toy. Heresy? Hardly. Many of the most respected artists in history, now enshrined in our most honored museums, including the Vatican (hello kinky Michelangelo), were considered kinky in their day. Revolutionary art like Picasso’s Cubist Demoiselles of the brothel—as well as fascist, state sanctioned art, like Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will—can be considered kinky, twists and bends in the ropes of tradition that shock and disturb some people, while arousing and inspiring others, and sometimes shocking and arousing at the same time. Of course, kinks of all kinds can be found in popular music. From the Beatles to Marvin Gaye, Prince, MJ, Depeche Mode, Sade, Cardi B, Lil Nas X and the list goes on, musicians have thrived on kink. And let’s not forget our favorite kinky song, inspired by the Bonobo Way, that you often hear during kinky scenes on DrSuzy.Tv, Carmina Formosa’s “The Kinkster.” Special mention goes to that great British Invasion band of the 1970s, The Kinks, whose name is the same as this article and whose hit song “Lola,” about a comic-romantic encounter with a crossdresser, would now be considered politically incorrect but back then, was revolutionary, wry and very kink-positive. Kinky Fashion

“It will make or break him so he’s a got to buy the best cause he’s a Dedicated Follower of Fashion” —The Kinks

Kink is a huge part of fashion, from the boudoir to the Met Gala to the street. One of the most popular categories of fetish clothing is “intimate” wear, including lingerie, stockings or pantyhose, panties, high heels, boots, corsets and more. However, any type of fashion can be kinky, such as a latex catsuit, a cowboy hat, a bikini, a nun’s habit, superhero costume—whatever gets you off when you put it on. The late great Bettie Page was the 1950s icon of fashion kink, an influencer long before there were influencers, setting the tone for many generations to come. Check out my extremely rare 1996 interview with the incomparable Bettie Page. Sultry Dita Von Teese, who attended our Bettie Page interview when she was just 19 and who did another interview on DrSuzy.Tv while engaged to the ultra-kinky and controversial rock star, Marilyn Manson, is another paragon of kink fashion. Texture is as important as style, popular choices being leather (deliciously animalistic, but politically incorrect for animal rights sympathizers), lace (somewhat see-through and oh, so romantic), latex (gives you that slinky second-skin feeling) or nylon (divinely stretchy, semitransparent and nostalgic). Uniforms are often considered kinky, including military (all branches, but especially sailors), school, athletic, police, firefighter, nurse and the uniformed fashion kinks march on. Conveying eroticism, beauty, horror, mystery and mastery, as well as concealing the mask wearer’s identity, the mask has been an important part of kinky fashion… since there were masks (going back at least 9,000 years)! One could say, in a way, masks have always been kinky—twisting and turning the features of the human face to obscure one’s identity or for dramatic effect. As of this writing, with the Coronapocalypse still raging off and on, masks are also protective (as they were against various plagues throughout history). Learn more about kinky, sexy masks in “Masks Are Sexy.” Some fashion isn’t so obviously kinky—like business suits, chef’s aprons or skating skirts—but kinksters-in-the-know just know. Very often, kinky clothing connects to another kink, such as adult baby diapers connect to golden showers and mommy fantasies. As in all types of fashion, there are trendsetters. Celebrities contribute a lot to kinky fashion, though they also copy it, from Madonna to Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Cardi B, Miley Cyrus, Kanye, Beyonce and so many more, serviced by subtly (or not so subtly) kinky high-fashion designers like Thierry Mugler, Alexander McQueen and Versace, influenced by underground sex workers, Goth gals and Dominatrices. Sometimes, kinky celebrity fashion goes beyond boots and masks into kinky emotional territory. As I write this, Kanye West is now the world's most famous cuckold. Obviously, watching his ex-wife Kim Kardashian dating Pete Davidson is agony for Ye. But as he actively milks it for all it's worth, blasting his public disgrace all over social and mainstream media, he also appears to be in the throes of a kind of celebrity cuckold's ecstasy.

Literary Kink

One of the best, most sapiosexual ways to get yourself and/or your partner into a kinky mood is to read something stimulating. But what? You might be surprised to find that some of the best kinky erotica is in the Bible. Yes indeed, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, sing Hallelujah and open your Old Testament to the Song of Songs and the Book of Esther, both surprisingly sex-positive. For sex-negative kink, consider hanging with the guys in Sodom and Gomorrah. Anaïs Nin’s Delta of Venus is classic early 20^th century erotica, much of it kinky, which the great diarist wrote during the Great Depression for a dollar a page. More emotional and subtly kinky are her famous diaries; read them unexpurgated. Some of the finest, most taboo, profoundly eloquent and absolutely riveting, literary kink is in the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy (no relation to Bill Cosby’s sleep fetish!) beginning with The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, written by the great Anne Rice (who just passed away) under the kinky pen name of A.N. Roquelaure. Many years ago, before the Interview with the Vampire author got mega-famous, I had the honor of interviewing her for an article I was writing for the San Francisco Bay Guardian about "interesting couples." Anne’s intensely romantic relationship with her husband, Stan Rice, whom she’d met in high school (and who happened to be my English professor and chairman of the San Francisco State University Master’s degree program), was certainly "interesting." Though the great author was much more conservative than hippie me, I was very impressed by Anne’s deep love for Stan, as well as her sparkling brilliance, wit, gothic horror stories, and her signature *kinky nun* look—high-collared white lace blouse and black maxi-skirt that matched her bangs crowning her cascades of jet-black hair. A couple years later, when I was just learning about BDSM, a more experienced kinkster turned me on to Anne’s Beauty books, and I was blown away. A woman of many literary facets, Anne also wrote the famous erotic novel Exit to Eden under the pen name Anne Rampling, though that didn’t have the impact (for me) of her penetrating, no-holds-barred, no topics-off-limits Beauty books. As I reflect upon Anne's death (12.11.2021), I feel her Thanatos-enraptured spirit has come home. I also realize that Anne Rice opened an erotic dungeon door for me with her kinky Beauty. Indeed, Anne and Stan Rice were my role models for a very special kind of wild, creative, romantic but enduring, and rather kinky love, inspiring my own marriage to Capt’n Max. I’d also recommend the excellent kinky erotica of a few of my favorite DrSuzy.Tv guests: Stan Kent (on Urban Erotica, Pyrophilic Bday Spanking Gangbang, Spring Showers and more) tells a captivating tale of British boarding school impact play, Caning Able, that will make you laugh as it turns you on, and Eden Baylee (on Female Masturbation Education) explores intimate seasonal kink in Spring into Summer. Rachel Kramer Bussel (on Shameless Erotica and Daddy Please!) has penned and edited many great kink books, including Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, an excellent kink primer for an adventurous duo. Most of Rachel’s marvelous books and anthologies are released by Cleis Press, a major publisher of great kinky erotica and how-to books. I’ll also mention one kinky mega-bestseller that I didn’t particularly like: 50 Shades of Grey. Due to a confluence of forces, this ultra-poorly written trilogy managed to generate a huge and passionate interest in kink from typically kink-ignorant, conservative, sex-negative and fairly sex-starved, suburban matrons. Despite—or maybe because—it’s so poorly written, it struck a nerve that showed the world at least one, very important, widely overlooked phenomenon: the most unlikely women crave kink. Need more? Read more… 55 Most Erotic Books Click for Some of Rachel’s Picks

Cinematic Kink

Films are filled with kink, whether the filmmakers intend for them to be kinky or not. It can be good or bad, light or dark, kink-positive or very negative, and your feelings about it have everything to do with you, your tastes and your desires. Of course, kink is very popular in porn—to the point you often can’t tell where the porn ends, and the kink begins. The fact that most modern human societies offer very little in the way of explicit sex education leaves pornography as virtually the only alternative. These days, porn is so ubiquitous, it has almost as much effect on our sexuality—positive and negative—as friends, family members and role models. Thus, many people blame what they have been told is their porn “addiction” for their more controversial kinky desires. Porn might enhance or refine your desire for certain types of kink, but it is hardly ever the root reason you feel that desire. We can also find plenty of kink in mainstream movies where it is often presented in a negative, misinformed light, but occasionally it is handled with care, sensitivity, humor, wisdom, great artistry and intense eroticism. Here are just a few select films and TV shows that feature kink(s). Some link to trailers, and others to the entire film. This list is by no means comprehensive or even a “best of,” just a jumping off point for your kinky film-watching endeavors.

Rear Window, 1954 (Voyeurism)
Peyton Place, 1957 (Adultery)
Bye Bye Birdie, 1963 (Cuckold)
Dr. Strangelove, 1964 (War Fetish)
The Graduate, 1967 (MILF, Cougar)
The Night Porter, 1974 (Sadomasochis)
Henry and June, 1990 (Threesome)
Y Tu Mama También, 2001 (Sperm Wars)
Secretary, 2002 (BDSM, Spanking, Office Sex)
40 Days and 40 Nights, 2002 (Chastity)
The Handmaid’s Tale, 2016 (Religious Repression)
The Handmaiden, 2016 (Bondage)
Zola, 2021 (Strippers)
Dune, 2021 (Masks)
Euphoria, 2022 (Male Frontal Nudity)

I’d lustily recommend all these movies and many more, but unsurprisingly, I can’t recommend 50 Shades of Grey (2015) any more than the badly written book of the same name… though the slickly produced, rather bland film did introduce some aspects of kink—and, unfortunately, a lot of misinformation about kink relationships—to millions of mostly fresh eyeballs. That film factoid in and of itself is kinky.

Culinary Kink

Food and sex are two of the most basic, universally needed elements of life. Combine them, and it's kinky! Here in Bonoboville, splosh is one of our favorite kinks. Check out Dr. Susan Block's Speakeasy Journal of Splosh 'n' Art featuring Daniele Watts, Chef Belive and a big yummy, kinky mess.

Kink and Fantasy

“There is no limit to imagination I’m into every type of stimulation Getting kinky is an excitation I gotta have that kink!” —Carmina Formosa

Fantasy may be reality’s much-maligned stepsibling, but it is a huge part of human consciousness. For better and for worse (mostly worse these days), many people live in fantasy more than reality. Kinky, vanilla or a multi-flavored combo, your sexuality is fueled by three basic types of fantasy. There are… 1) Fantasies of your past, aka your memories filtered through time… 2) Fantasies of your future, aka your hopes and dreams, and… 3) “Pure” fantasies—wild reveries that never happened and that you never really want to have happen—but which haunt and stimulate you like a kinky parallel universe. Kinky fantasies rise and fall like waves rippling through your brain—regardless of whether you want them to or not. You may be able to control your actions, including your speech, but you can't control your thoughts. So don't make like the "thought police" and bust yourself for your kinky fantasies You might be able to force yourself to think or not think about a particular subject for a while, perhaps via distracting yourself with something else. You could try not to watch porn. As many experts advise, you could watch a cooking show, go for a walk, do yoga, call a friend, get into gardening, read a book, volunteer at a soup kitchen or maybe go to Church instead. All of that sounds good, but is any of it really a substitute for sexual fantasy (unless you’re sitting there in the pews fantasizing about your smoking hot minister)? Sooner or later, you will find your mind wandering back to whatever is playing in the Erotic Theater of Your Mind… which could well be that troublesome fantasy, whatever it might be. Fantasy is not reality; often it's the opposite. However, sometimes a troublesome fantasy indicates a real-life problem that should be addressed. But what if you feel you can’t talk about it with anyone in your life? Maybe not even with your spouse. Maybe especially not your spouse. Or what if you’ve tried, but they’re not interested—or what if they lashed out at you? If that’s your situation, you might consider talking with a therapist, someone who won’t judge you and who might be able to help you make sense of your feelings, as well as realize you're not alone. Though kinky fantasies can be problematic, they can also provide hidden mental health benefits, killing the pain of trauma and fear with arousal. Think about it: If erotic fantasies never played in your mind’s multiplex, then your inner horror movies—or just the constant awareness of your own anxiety—could give you a heart attack! So, be grateful for your kinky fantasies; they are gifts! Just as your dreams can help you to cope with your real-life problems, so can your fantasies, though they tend to do so when you’re awake. Your kinky fantasies can also be keys that unlock the doors of your repressed personal history. Sexual fantasies and erotic dreams, especially when accompanied by orgasm and perspective (not necessarily in that order), can help to release the stress and trauma of past abuse, bullying, sickness and suffering. They can also help you relive good sexual memories. However, your fantasies aren’t just about your past. They can also prepare you for the future. Fantasies can be hazy or detailed rehearsals in the erotic theater of the mind for sexual acts you haven’t yet experienced.

Kink is international, non-denominational, and even beyond human; remember, Mother Nature is a kinky MILF.

Your sexual fantasies evolve and change as you do. If they are troublesome in any way, it might be helpful to share them with a sex therapist who can help you to put them in perspective—through discussion, kink-positive roleplay, sexual psychodrama, hypnosis and other techniques—reducing their negative power over you. For various reasons, many people struggle against their own fantasies. However, fighting fantasies is like fighting ghosts… they’re slippery creatures! Rather than fighting a losing battle, I suggest you find ways to “make friends” with your fantasies— including the kinky ones. You may not want to act out all your kinky fantasies in real life—and you probably shouldn’t—but you can accept them as very personalized gifts from the Erotic Theater of your Mind, and use them to release stress and come to terms with the many layers of your sexuality. You might want to explore them over the phone where you can close your eyes and enter the Erotic Theater of the Mind without worrying what you or the person on the other end of the phone looks like or what you're really doing. Then you can explore your kinks together on the dark fertile ground of your imaginations.

Kink & Politics

Politics and kink have long been intertwined, at least since Caligula made his horse a senator. And then there was Napoleon’s message to his beloved Cougar Josephine: “I’m coming home. Don’t wash.” The great Bonaparte apparently had a kink for strong, natural, feminine aromas. In fact, the relationship between kink and politics is much older than that. We can trace its origins to the earliest expressions of religion which, as a general, almost universal rule, tends to ritualistically mix kink with politics, even while solemnly condemning kink as sinful. Sound confusing? Consider the first book of the Old Testament which has “the Lord,” a supremely sadistic voyeur with a penchant for painful punishments, punishing His naughty children, Adam and Eve, for cavorting with His forbidden phallic Snake and biting into His delicious taboo apples that then magically make them feel both horny and ashamed. Then they have sex and cover their nakedness with those fetishistic fig leaves, ruining God’s Original All-Nude All-the-Time Floor Show. Looking at the Judeo-Christian human origin story this way—which may be kind of funny, but isn’t such a stretch—you could say that all of humanity’s kinky desires stem from God the Father’s original, unreasonable and eternal abuse of His Children (us). No wonder we have a chronic epidemic of sexual harm inflicted upon the young by the clergy… who are, at least in the Catholic faith, expected to be celibate. Talk about kinky—as in twisted! From the Biblical to the historical, kink has always been political. As the sapiosexual folks at Karada House say, “Kink does not exist in a vacuum… it cannot be separated from politics, history and lived experiences.” That doesn’t necessarily make kink more or less liberal or conservative, Democratic, Republican, Libertarian or Socialist. It doesn’t make kink Abrahamic, Asiatic or atheistic. Kink is international, non-denominational, and even beyond human; remember, Mother Nature is a kinky MILF. Good kink is a little more narrowly defined, being, above all, consensual. However, many consensual kink activities are based on nonconsensual forms of domination, torture, gender debasement and trauma practiced by various political and religious groups and individuals. For example, floggers, whips and canes have been used—and are still used—to nonconsensually punish, coerce, hurt, intimidate and dehumanize real prisoners, slaves and nonbelievers. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t thoroughly enjoy a consensual flogging; of course, you should! However, awareness of an item or activity’s political history adds an important layer of meaning to your kink experience. At the turn of the 20^th century, kink rose to the forefront of politics with the kink-weaponized Starr Report, featuring sex that’s “not sex”—which is actually a great definition for kink!—including teasing, phone sex, oral, a cigar, DNA on a dress and the lasciviously detailed, Puritanically-driven impeachment of President Billy Jeff Clinton. Some political activists use kink to entice an audience and make a point. For instance, a topless FEMEN protestor, with the words “God is a Woman” written on her bare chest, grabbed the baby Jesus from the Saint Peter’s Square Nativity scene before a Vatican cop stopped her, inadvertently becoming a player in her kinky political theater scene.

Kink and sex in general can be a leaky business, especially when combined with politics, so one should always be prepared to either plug that leak or go with the flow.

Another great example is my longtime friend and DrSuzy.Tv guest, Mistress Tara Indiana, who ran for President in 2016 on the Female Supremacy Party ticket, promising to “whip America back into shape, one middle-aged white man at a time.” When she lost that election to Trump, Mistress Tara formed a FemDom collective called “Dominatrixes Against Donald trump” (D.A.D.), aka “Women Who Pee Standing,” to “highlight the hypocrisy, injustice and double standard that’s applied to sex workers and the politicians that hire them. A Dominatrix who pees on Trump can be sent to jail, while Trump can pay to be peed on and he gets to be President.” D.A.D. did a very kinky political performance art piece on DrSuzy.Tv, spanking and humiliating a Trump surrogate, forcing him onto his knees to take it from behind and then onto his back where several of us squatted over him to give him the golden showers referenced by the Steele Dossier. I ran my own kinky U.S. Presidential campaign back in 1992 (on the Block Party ticket, of course) and was Vice Presidential running mate to the late great kinky political poet Frank Moore’s 2008 U.S. Presidential Campaign. Much of my own writing combines kink and politics, especially my post-911 Terror Journals and other Counterpunch articles. Obviously, I’m very open about my own kinks, but most people prefer to keep their kinks private, and I strongly believe in the right to that privacy. However… what can you do if and when your secret kinks are leaked by a political rival in the middle of your election campaign? You could lie and deny like Trump, or maybe tell the truth, like Manhattan City Council candidate Zack Weiner who bravely copped to his kink. It may have cost him the election (though he was already behind… so to speak), but fellow kinksters—many of whom are also voters—will always honor his honesty. Kink and sex in general can be a leaky business, especially when combined with politics, so one should always be prepared to either plug that leak or go with the flow.

Kink, Trauma and Pathology

Trauma and kink might seem to be diametrically opposed, but they are very much related, as we discussed in our fantasy section. Trauma can contribute to a desire for kink, and caring consensual kink can help to heal past traumas. First, to be clear, being kinky itself is not a sign of trauma, nor does enjoying fetishes or BDSM imply a pathology or psychological disorder. A Journal of Sexual Medicine study of the Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners concluded that “BDSM may be thought of as a recreational leisure, rather than the expression of psychopathological processes.” “Though mental health providers have historically pathologized kinky behavior as ‘Sexual Sadism and Sexual Masochism Disorders,’” according to the Gender and Sexuality Therapy Center’s Healing From Sexual Trauma Through Kink, “there is research that shows people who practice BDSM are less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, and have higher subjective well-being than non-kinky people. A similar U.S. study found BDSM-identified couples reported less stress as well as increased intimacy following play.” Over the years, many kink-positive sexologists have helped to slowly remove the stigma of pathology attached to BDSM and other fetishes, but Charles A. Moser, MD, PhD, stands out. Dr. Moser’s “research on kink and his contribution of over 100 scholarly articles over 45 years, most on alternative sexualities, created an evidence-based conversation in psychiatry that coincided with the social changes that have made de-pathologizing kink an intellectually credible effort,” writes Russell Stambaugh, an award-winning sexologist and clinical psychologist who has also made significant contributions to the study and normalization of kink. Though kink itself is not pathological, the desire for kink is sometimes tied to childhood abuse, early illnesses and accidents, relationship issues, problematic family dynamics, domestic violence, humiliation, schoolyard bullying and other forms of trauma. These kink-fueling traumatic events often occur in childhood when we are most vulnerable and impressionable, but you can also contract PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) leading to kinky desires from being involved in war, occupation, poverty, inequities, climate catastrophe, the pandemic and more. In this crazy, mixed up, “civilized” world, many are trauma survivors, and some of us are kinksters. Some of us even utilize our kinks to heal the pain of trauma, transforming it into erotic pleasure, restoration and inspiration. To learn more about the many fascinating intersections of trauma, kink and therapy, check out Trauma Shrink and FemDom Kink, or just continue reading.

Kink Therapy

Since kink is not usually pathological (well, not unless you’re Jeffrey Dahmer), can it be therapeutic? Can practicing consensual kink actually help to heal trauma? In a way, this entire article is about the therapeutic benefits of kink. The science behind kink therapy is rarely discussed due to the traditional sexual squeamishness of Western medicine, particularly as practiced in the good old Puritanical U.S.A. Yet the evidence is clear. Biochemically speaking, we know that pleasure is a painkiller (see above). When your kinky psyche associates arousal with the experience of consensual, expected pain (no sucker-punches please!), endorphins rush into your bloodstream, and the pleasure—or even just the anticipation of pleasure—helps you to handle the pain… at least to a point. When arousal is in the driver’s seat and pleasure is riding shotgun, then pain—both physical and psychological—is forced to take a backseat. In fact, a little bit of consensual pain—or maybe a lot (if you’re a “pain slut”)—tends to heighten the pleasure. Spanking and other forms of impact play are especially effective, cathartic forms of therapy, as Russian studies have shown, along with our own anecdotal research conducted here at the Block Institute. Why would someone who was beaten as a child find it healing to be spanked as an adult? The bottom line is consent. A child cannot and likely would not consent to being beaten. But the consenting adult might find that a structured spanking with clear boundaries from someone for whom they feel both lust and trust gives them a cathartic, therapeutic release they can’t get from just talking about it. Kink can heal the body and mind in a multitude of manners—from relieving stress to building confidence, dissipating depression, reducing painful shyness and working through past trauma. However, it’s important to note that involvement in kink can also create its own trauma, even among consenting adults, as we’ve seen in recent news stories about celebrity kinksters stepping over the line and into abuse. Best to tread lightly and take it slow, using—and respecting— “safe words,” as you go.

Kink-Positive Therapists Without Borders

“That Puritanical shame still prevails Cause when the Puritans came all they built were jails. But we’re living in a modern society And we can all afford to be a bit more kinky.” —Rose Kelso

As kink becomes increasingly accepted into the mainstream, more and more forms of therapy are emerging that address it in a healthy way. Kink-positive sex therapy can help individuals deconstruct their past traumas, learn to identify and explore ways to release fears and feelings of shame, as well as truly embrace their always-evolving sexuality. Whether you need serious psychotherapy to investigate the origins of your kink(s) and/or the best way to handle them or you’d prefer to just enjoy a fun kinky fantasy roleplay—or a combination—our kink-positive Therapists Without Borders here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute are some of the best in the world. You can experience your kink therapy session via webcam, phone or text anytime you like 24 hours a day. In-person sessions are also available, though our physical facility is temporarily closed due to pandemic concerns. However, we are always open to talk with you! Need to talk about a kink that you can’t talk about anywhere else? You can talk to us. Call anytime: 213.291.9497. We’re here for YOU… and your kink(s).

Want to Read Some Reader Comments about Cougar Sexuality? Or Post Your Own Comment? Click These Links: Kink on Facebook Twitter One Twitter Two

© February 7. 2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950. Editorial Assistance on this article provided by Adriana Gomez-Weston and Crysta Swindell. Read More

COUGAR SEXUALITY Comments Off

Dedicated to all the great Cougars of history and mythology who remind us that "mature" can be sexy, if we want it to be.

by Dr. Susan Block. Do you like older women? Actually, do you just love older women? Have you ever been intimate with a sexy, experienced female who happens to be a year or two—or maybe a couple of decades—older than you? Have you thought about it? Have you ever fantasized about your sultry history teacher, a celebrity influencer or maybe that beautiful, sophisticated politician on TV? Or did your doctor give you some additional symptoms? If you feel this way, you’re not alone. You just want to get with a Cougar. Then again, maybe you are a Cougar, or you’d like to be one… What's a “Cougar” First, let’s define our terms. What do we mean by "Cougar"? No, we’re not talking about the wildcat. Though, it’s understandable if you’re fascinated by these majestic feline animals. Like pumas or panthers, American wildcat cougars are big, beautiful, powerful pussies who could possibly eat you alive, if they’re hungry. A human “Cougar” is a hot older woman who enjoys younger men—or women, or anyone else for that matter. The Cougar deliberately seeks out younger lovers for relationships and casual encounters, often acting as a sexual guide or teacher, based on her greater erotic experience. Urban Dictionary defines a human Cougar as “an ‘older,’ experienced woman who happens to find herself in a sexual relationship (committed or not) with a younger man. She is not necessarily a slut, nor is she desperate. She offers sexual expertise and is open to new experiences…Though older, she may actually look younger than her ‘hook-up.’ She is attractive, confident, and just wants to have fun. She will not attempt to trap her mate into marriage, children or even an exclusive relationship. She is not interested in drama or games, as that would interfere with the pleasure she enjoys.” That’s a good definition of the ideal Cougar. Not all are quite so superlative. Some are “desperate.” Some “play games.” Cougars are human too—despite their formidable feline powers.

Just like in the wild, even the fiercest Cougar adores her playful cubs.

Nevertheless, they can be the most fabulous creatures on earth! MILF vs. Cougar Is a Cougar a MILF? Not necessarily. While a Cougar can be a MILF (Mother I’d Like to F*ck), a MILF is not always a Cougar. However, the two are often closely associated, and a woman can sometimes be both a MILF and a Cougar. Stifler’s Mom in American Pie comes to mind, or the notorious Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate. “Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?” In sexual parlance, the MILF serves as an object of desire. Her feelings are not as significant to her “MILF” status as the fact that she is a mother, and her sex appeal—her body, her style, that *look* she gives you when she asks you to mow her lawn. She herself may or may not be interested in sex; what makes her a MILF is that she looks and/or sounds sexy. Technically, the Virgin Mary could be a MILF, if you’re turned on by halos. Also, a MILF can be any age, older or younger than the MILF lover. Cougars, on the other hand, are always older than their lovers. They also are, by definition, very interested in sex. Cougars deliberately seek out erotic encounters and relationships with younger partners. When they find someone they want, they might well pounce… like a cougar. Cougars can be MILFs, but some are child-free. The significant factor that separates the Cougars from the MILFs—or anyone else—is their profound desire, coupled with confidence. This is partly biological, as women tend to reach their sexual “prime” in their late thirties—mid-forties, which is also prime Cougar time. But not every woman 35-45 is a Cougar. That takes a special kind of prowess. Not only do you have to be sexy enough to attract younger lovers, bold enough to approach them and energetic enough to keep up with them, you also have to handle rejection gracefully. No matter how irresistible your magic mirror says you are, not every potential young lover wants to be your cub. Though you can comfort and re-energize yourself with the knowledge that there are plenty out there who do. Is a Cougar a "Hot Wife"? Possibly, but not necessarily. If she's married, perhaps to an older man who can't keep up with her sexually, she might cuckold him with a young cub (with or without his knowledge), and then she'd be a Hot Wife. But Cougars can also be single, polyamorous or some category of their own ingenious invention. Are YOU a Cougar? Do you prefer younger lovers? Do you feel younger than your chronological age? Is great sex important to you? Is it more important than what other people think? Have you noticed partners your own age just can’t keep up with you—in bed, on the dance floor, in the great outdoors or anywhere? Are you a sexually experienced woman unashamed of your “past,” but excited to share what you’ve learned with others? Are you unafraid to pursue what you want? Can you handle the “no” word? Can you take a joke? Are you fairly independent? Those wildcat cougars tend to be solitary creatures that mostly socialize when they seek a mate. Human Cougars aren’t antisocial—not at all—but they do tend to be self-reliant. Can you relate (at least sometimes) to current youth culture and music? Would you be comfortable with paying for dates and other things? If they were worth it, would you be someone’s “Sugar Mama”? Are you young at heart and open for adventures you can’t even imagine? If your answer is “yes” to half those questions, you’re a Cougar! Or, you could say, you’re “Cougar Sexual.” Or maybe “Cougarsexual.” Kind of like “pansexual” or “sapiosexual,” but with the focus on the mature female (of any gender, really; I know some feminine—but not trans—gay men who consider themselves Cougars) who take younger lovers.

Little did young Massimo know he had entered the den of a Cougar and her cubs, but soon enough, he became her favorite.

Warning: When I say “younger,” I’m not talking under-age, of course. No jailbait please! Obviously, that’s illegal, unethical and all kinds of wrong. All “cubs” must be over 18. If you’re not sure, ask to see an ID… before you’re in bed. Seriously, you can’t be too careful. When in doubt, bow out. Cougarsexuality is more socially acceptable than ever in civilized history, but with equal opportunity comes equal responsibility. Irresponsible Cougars who are caught going after underage teen students are being prosecuted and receiving hefty prison terms. They also have the words “sex offender” stamped on their record like a modern day “Scarlet Letter.” It’s not just about age, it’s also about consent. You’re a human Cougar, not a ravenous mountain cat, so make sure your *prey* is at least somewhat interested before you pounce. One of the Cougar’s most appealing qualities is that she tends to take the lead. A lot of people love to be chased by attractive pursuers, men included—especially men, as men are so rarely chased! Nevertheless, don’t take the so-called *predator* role of real cougars as your model. And no pouncing on actual students or patients of yours, dear teachers, professors and fellow doctors! Though roleplay can be a fantastic way to fulfill these common but taboo sexual fantasies. This might sound like a lot of restrictions for a human wildcat. Nevertheless, the world can be your proverbial oyster if the object of your desire is of legal age, doesn’t involve “exploitation” of your professional position and isn’t your best friend’s son… well, maybe your best friend’s son (if over 18) would be okay. Then again, probably not. Choose wisely, Madame Mountain Cat! Are You a Cub? No, I'm not talking about Chicago baseball, though you might be playing a game that involves your bat and balls. Basically, if you’re attracted to Cougars, you're a “cub,” the older cat’s younger, playful, adorable companion. Of course, the actual wildcat’s cub is her own offspring, while a human Cougar isn’t her cub’s real mother... at least not usually, though it’s a common fantasy, as evidenced by the extreme popularity of my friend Kay Parker (who played the Mom, Barbara Scott, in the notorious film Taboo). Cubs can be male, female, trans or gender-fluid. However, most of the time, cubs are men, though they might feel and act like boys—or “boy toys”—around their Cougar. In terms of kink, a cub could be dominant or submissive to his Cougar. Unless the cub is a very low-level slave to a Cougar Domme, the erotic feelings tend to be mutual. Just like in the wild, even the fiercest Cougar adores her playful cubs. Most sexual fetishes and preferences stick with you for a lifetime, but for many people, desiring a Cougar or cub could be a temporary phase. For instance, a man might prefer Cougars in his teens and twenties, but then settle down in his thirties to have a family with a woman his own age or younger. A woman might marry an older man; then after she's widowed or divorced, she could come out as a Cougar. She might stay a Cougar the rest of her life or, after a few flings with cubs, go back to being with older guys. The fact that wanting or being a Cougar or cub is often a temporary phase isn't, in and of itself, a good or bad thing. However, it's something to keep in mind when one of you seems to be more serious about a long-term relationship than the other. Why Cougars Attract Cubs The most popular Cougar quality is her sexual experience and the fact that the cub can learn from that experience. Many young men are unsure about what to do to please a woman, as well as how to stay hard, bring up a fetish or fantasy, try new positions, or just relax and enjoy themselves, and a good Cougar can help them with all of that. They can also be embarrassed to tell a woman what arouses them. A good Cougar can draw them out and, thanks to her experience, she tends to have a good idea of what positions, techniques, fantasies and “dirty talk” turn her partners—and her—on. A sexual relationship with an experienced Cougar can be like enrolling in a college of carnal knowledge where you’re majoring in your sexuality. You can *be yourself* with your Cougar, as she isn’t so easily shocked, though, like any teacher, she usually demands respect from her student. My husband Max (Massimo in Italian) often says he was "raised" by Cougars. He was first approached by a beautiful older woman when he was a very handsome but rather shy teenager hanging out on the beach in Genoa, Italy. In her late thirties (twice his age!), Angelina took young Massimo to her palatial cabana where dozens of other young men were lounging around, drinking and smoking. Little did young Massimo know he had entered the den of a Cougar and her cubs, but soon enough, he became her favorite. Alas for Angelina, things change quickly in the life of a cub, and within a few weeks, young Massimo was onto Cougar #2. Myria Selva, renowned Italian actress, seduced him while he was waiting on her table at the restaurant by the Eleanora Duce State Theater where she was starring in a play. Later, Myria got Massimo a part in that play, he moved in with her and her two chihuahuas, and the young cub learned everything his Cougar could teach him about sex, romance, women and the theater. Myria passed away in 2013, but I know she will live forever in Massimo’s heart as that remarkable older woman who guided him onto a path of joyous sexuality, feminine beauty, fantastic theater and great erotic art. Besides sexual maturity, a Cougar’s experience often brings emotional maturity, almost always a bonus in an adult relationship. A Cougar’s sexual confidence is one of her most alluring qualities. Cougars tend to be independent and not as needy as young drama queens, nor are they as likely to exact revenge if things don’t work out. Ben Franklin Loved Cougars! Don’t just take my word for it. Ask America’s greatest Founding Father, Benjamin Franklin who, in Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress), gives several reasons why more mature women make better lovers than younger ones. Some of these “reasons” are rather sexist and dated, but others are timeless, like: “Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.” “Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion.” “Lastly, they are so grateful!” Ben goes on at greater length, with flourish. According to historic accounts, he really did like Cougars (especially the European *breed*) and is rumored to have had affairs with several and probably could have written The Cougar Almanac for Young American Cubs at Home and Abroad. Cougar Problems Of course, not all Cougars are wonderful, discreet, experienced, ideal sex teachers. After all, as Capt’n Max often says, the ideal is the enemy of the real. A Cougar could be inexperienced; perhaps trapped in a sexless marriage for 20 years before she makes a break and finds a younger lover. A Cougar could be immature, mean and rather ungrateful. Rich widow Cougars are more likely to be that way… but they make up for it—sometimes—by financing your wardrobe, meals and art projects. For any rule, there are always exceptions—especially when it comes to love and sex. From the Cougar’s viewpoint, life isn’t always a bed of roses—with the perfect cub in the middle—either. At least, not without thorns. All real roses have thorns. Then there’s the perverse little matter of social customs. Though a Cougar’s confidence and experience are her greatest, sexiest strengths, they can also be a kind of curse, intimidating people who are comfortable with more traditional gender roles. Times are a’changing, but the double standard remains. Men still usually pair up with younger women—both in real life and on screen, for casual sex and serious relationships—and as men grow older, very often their female partners get even younger, especially if the men are successful. Well, that’s capitalism for you! Though inconsistent and often unfair itself, the #MeToo movement is moving society towards a more critical view of such pairings where the guy’s a lot older than the gal, as well as a more open attitude to the Cougar/cub relationship. Nevertheless, for the most part, the majority of human societies accept a man dating or marrying a woman four decades younger than him as *normal.* In contrast, if a woman is just a few years older than her male partner, it’s often considered quite scandalous, or at least taboo. In part, this is due to biology; women usually can’t bear children past their forties, which is when Cougar’ing often gets in gear—while men (usually with a little help from Viagra) can technically reproduce until they’re flatlined. So, men *should* desire younger women, and women *should* be attracted to older men (who can presumably provide for their inevitable children), at least according to evolutionary psychology which says we are all driven by reproduction. Perhaps, but that drive to reproduce doesn’t always translate into actually reproducing. Not everybody wants to have biological children, and in our human-heavy world, being “child-free” can be a good thing for the individual and society. Sometimes that “drive to reproduce” that we all innately possess is channeled into great art, service to humanity, romance, adventure and/or awesome Cougar sex. So… what’s the big deal? The “big deal” is tradition, religion, repression, patriarchy and paranoia. These are some of the ancient sources for the societal messages that whisper, sing and shout at us that a mature woman with a younger man is an abomination, a sin, an embarrassment, a disaster or just plain wrong. So, whether you’re the Cougar or the cub, don’t be surprised if your friends and family—not to mention your church, temple, therapist and most of pop culture—try to dissuade you from this path. It is not for the weak… though it makes you weak in the knees. As of this writing, pop icon Madonna (aged 62) is being dragged on social media as "distasteful" for showing PDA (public displays of affection) with her 27-year-old boyfriend, Ahlamalik Williams. One commenter said, "It is sad to see that Madonna can’t age with grace [and] is trying to act younger." Would the same be said about a man of Madonna’s age with a woman of Ahlamalik’s age? And what exactly does it mean to “age with grace”? To confine your playtime to grandchildren, your skirts to below-the-knee, your hair to silver-grey and your sex life to nonexistent? Perhaps, another way to “age with grace” is to be an elegant erotic guide to eager young students of sex. Of course, Madonna gets more than her share of “Go Girl!” comments too; she’s Madonna! And part of what makes Madonna “Madonna!” is her ability to transcend the haters and just do what she wants, and that includes taking lovers (and husbands) who are almost always younger than her (see below). So, if you’re confident, sexy and energetic like Madonna—or like YOU—you’ve got what it takes to assume the title of Cougar. With a little luck, your cub could even be elected President of France! When Brigitte Trogneux Macron first began seeing Emmanuel Macron, they met in secret; their love was so forbidden. Not only was she 25 years older than him, but she was also his high school drama teacher. Despite the stigma, they persevered, fell more deeply in love, and eventually came out to their families and the world. Now Emmanuel is President of France and Brigitte is First Lady. Talk about a cub/Cougar power couple. Rowl! Cougar by Numbers Though the Cougar/cub combo is still considered taboo, the numbers are growing, even for long term relationships. The amount of marriages where the woman is five to ten years older than her spouse is small (5.4 percent and 1.3 percent, respectively), but they have doubled between 1960 and 2007, according to census data. It’s cool to “go your own way,” but there’s strength—and respect—in numbers, and the numbers are running with the Cougars!

Looking to talk with sexually mature woman who can teach you a thing or two about sex? We’re available anytime. Call us now at 213.291.9497.

Some Cougar History Honored and maligned, beloved and despised, mature women have been taking younger lovers throughout history and probably prehistory as well. Cougars also appear in ancient mythology. One of the earliest mythological and most famous Cougars of all time is Aphrodite (Venus to the Romans), Greek Goddess of Love, Sex and Beauty who has many younger lovers—including her own son, Eros! But her favorite mortal cub is Adonis, so handsome, other gods and goddesses fall for him as well, though Aphrodite is, was and always will be his great immortal Cougar love. According to legend, the Goddess of Love’s favorite cub never grows old. Adonis dies young, killed by a wild boar sent by jealous Artemis, Virgin Goddess of the Hunt, but the young cub’s love for his Cougar Aphrodite remains eternally strong. The Greek playwright Euripides displayed a less sanguine view of Cougars, cubs and cuckolds in Hippolytus (428 BCE), the tragedy of Phaedra, beautiful wife of famed hero Theseus who falls in love with her stepson, Hippolytus, who most vehemently does not love her back, resulting in terrible fates for the whole family. If you’re looking for inspiration to explore the Cougar life—or that of the cub or cuckold (Theseus is the paranoid cuckold)—do NOT read Hippolytus! My French teacher made us read Jean Racine’s version of Phaedra (en français, s'il vous plaît) in my junior year—when I was a bit of a Cougar as I was dating a sophomore—and honestly, it disturbed me so much, I never took another French class. Though I love France! Speaking of France, one of the greatest Cougars in history was Diane de Poitiers (1499-1566), mistress of the French King Henry II. When she was 35, the beautiful, bold, charming and athletic Diane seduced the teenage Prince Henry. This would be considered statutory rape now, and even then, though not illegal, it was unusual. Nevertheless, they fell in love, and when Henry was crowned King, Diane de Poitiers became a powerful royal mistress, lasting even through the King’s official marriage to Catherine de Medici (who is said to have invented high heels—possibly so she could look her rival in the eye). Besides being the Queen of French Cougars before anyone called them “Cougars,” Diane was an “influencer” B.I.G. (Before Instagram), posing for the finest painters of the time with her cub the King, her beloved horses, suggestive stags and symbols of France, as well as delightfully nude. Catherine the Great (1729-1796) ruled 18^th century Russia for three progressive decades and enjoyed at least a dozen different lovers, most of them younger than her. She started by cuckolding her husband Peter III, and picked up speed as a Cougar after his death. Catherine “loved to be in love,” especially with younger swashbuckling soldiers. Her most famous cub was Prince Grigory Potemkin who, as he grew older, encouraged his Empress to take even younger lovers. But no, though she was a great equestrian, and rumors abound, there’s no proof that Catherine the Great ever had sex with her horse. One of the most notorious Cougars of the 20^th century was the sultry Mae West. Though Mae reigned over a revolving stable of real-life cubs (in her later years, it was part of her act), she also had a long-time lover, the handsome Paul Novak, who was 30 years her junior. Beyond her inner circle, there were all her younger fans—virtual cubs—including the late great producer of most of my HBO specials, Dave Bell. Though I was already pretty bawdy, Dave encouraged me to model my on-screen *character,* in part, on Mae’s seductive, witty, older-womanly persona. Mae was the ultimate Cougar/comedienne, and unlike most comics of yesteryear, her jokes are still funny. Like a fine wine or *well-preserved* veteran of multiple love affairs, some of Mae’s witticisms have grown wittier with age: Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up. A hard man is good to find. When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. “Cougar” Term Origins Despite their powerful, undeniable *influence,* nobody called these bold older ladies who take younger lovers “Cougars” until the 1980s when, urban legend has it, the term “Cougar” entered our erotic lexicon through “locker room talk.” Apparently, the Vancouver Canucks hockey team, when teasing each other about the mature female fans on the prowl for players, referred to these older ladies as “Cougars.” In 1999, Cougardate was launched online, and Toronto Sun journalist Valerie Gibson wrote a story about it in 2001 which, in 2008, became a book, Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men. In 2003, Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrell) and Smith Jerrod (Jason Lewis) embarked upon a steamy and very intimate long-term romance in “Sex and the City.” A few years later, the TV sitcom Cougar Town (2009-2015) followed the exploits of a divorced MILF (Courtney Cox), often shown sipping a glass of red wine. A sultry mom of a teenage son who dates younger men, this Cougar winds up marrying her divorced same-age neighbor. Meanwhile, on the high seas, Carnival Cruise line ran a “Cougar Cruise” that drew over 300 attendees, but apparently, it was too Carnivalesque for Carnival. But the Cougar Party isn’t over!

Are you looking to explore some memories or fantasies of the Cougar on your mind? You can talk to the Therapists Without Borders who are eager to speak with you. Give us a call at 213.291.9497.

Celebrity Cougars With the advent of the Feminist and Sexual Revolution in the 1960s and 70s, and progressive, sex-positive movements, and the general decline in religiosity over the last four decades, there has been greater social acceptance of older women dating younger men, and celebrities are at the forefront of this transformation. Celebrities are the gods, goddesses and empresses of our times, so it’s no wonder Celebrity Cougars are on the prowl like Aphrodite or Cate the Great. Though it could just as easily be the young Adonis—or Potemkin—“cub” that takes the lead, as in the case of super hunk Jason Momoa who fell head over heels for Lisa Bonet from his living room TV set, watching her on the old Cosby Show when he was a kid in Hawaii. He even told his own mother, “Mommy I want that one,” even though (or because) she was (and still is!) a dozen years his senior. Soon enough, young Jason grew up (and boy, did he grow) and pursued his dream. Sometimes, celebrity crushes are best left in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, but sometimes dreams come true, and cub Jason and Cougar Lisa are now married (together over 14 years) with a beautiful blended family. In the early 2000s, Demi Moore and 15-years-younger Ashton Kutcher’s Cougar/cub marriage brought the term to the forefront of pop culture, though Demi said she prefers to be called a “Puma.” Technically, a “Puma” is supposed to be in her thirties, while Demi was in her forties at the time, but who’s counting? Whichever wildcat you prefer, following her rather tempestuous split with cub Ashton (who married the five-years-younger Mila Kunis), Demi has since dated other younger men. There’s also Heidi Klum, 16 years older than Tom Kaulitz; Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana (she's nine years older); Kate Beckinsale and Goody Grace (24 years difference); Lesbian Cougar Ellen Degeneres and her “cubbette” wife Portia de Rossi (15 years apart); Priyanka Chopra who is 10 years older than Nick Jonas; Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade, (they have a decade between them); Sam Taylor-Wood (54) and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (30); Selling Sunset reality personalities Mary Fitzgerald and Romain Bonett (12 years apart); Hugh Jackman and Deborah Lee-Furness, (13 years apart), and the Cougar/cub list goes on. I also consider Meghan and Prince Harry to be Cougar and cub; she’s three years older than him, which isn’t much, but it’s another little tweak of British royal tradition. Though it follows a different facet of that same tradition, since Harry’s great grand-uncle, King Edward VIII, married another controversial American divorcee, the notorious Cougar Wallis Simpson, two years older than the King who abdicated the throne for her. No doubt, if there was a Ms. Cougar Pageant, there would be a lot of competition, but Madonna, the quintessential Cougarsexual Material Girl, would probably take the crown. She’s had older boyfriends like Warren Beatty (which may have been a Dick Tracy PR play), but she is famous for her “boy toys,” praised and pilloried whenever their photogenic PDAs appear. She started her Cougarsexual adventures with model Tony Ward (five years younger), then dated (to name just a few) Tupac, David Blaine, Vanilla Ice, Dennis Rodman, Anthony Kiedis, Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie (she married these two cubs), Alex Rodriguez, and the youngest cubs, Brahim Zaibat, Timor Steffens and most recently, kissable smokable Ahlamalik Williams. She pulls it all off with flair. Madonna makes the Cougar life seem downright in Vogue. The Legend of Cougar Liz Warren Could the feisty U.S. Senator from Massachusetts be a Cougar? While running for President, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren suddenly found herself in the midst of a three-ring media circus casting her as the ferocious “Cougar” in the center ring. It all started when the goofball grifter team of Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman, a couple of far-right tRump supporters and notorious “sexual assault” fraudsters, held a bizarre, quasi-kinky and laughably sanctimonious press conference, elaborately accusing Senator Warren of the high *crime* of Cougarsexuality. The leading man of their slapstick project, Kelvin Whelly, a 25-year-old, “decorated,” hunky, but not-too-sure-of-his-script Marine/escort/cub, claimed he was Liz’s BDSM sex slave or Master or whatever (where’s that script?) for $1000 a visit, more or less, plus tips and Uber rides. After allegedly connecting through a Cougar/cub dating site called “Cowboys for Angels,” he said they met in various hotels for “not just rough sex, but extensive BDSM play” and other “deviant sexual activities” with a “cat o’ nine tails” (which he procured from Amazon, “as we all do”) and “a lime green strap-on dildo (bringing to mind a disturbing image of Sean Spicer in Dancing with the Stars).” Lacking proof or coherency, poor Whelly and Wohl’s “case” collapsed like a limp cowboy. However, if Elizabeth Warren really was or is a kinky cougar wielding a cat o’ nine tails and a strap-on dildo of any color on a hunky twenty-something cub, well, more power to her. I especially appreciate Liz herself tweeting a snappy response to the accusations, establishing herself as America’s Queen of Shade (at least for that media cycle), slapping the douchebags down, making a titillating little pun, and staying on point with her “plan” for canceling student debt: “It’s always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it.” Go Cougars! Hello Cougar Sally Mullins If you have a slightly “dirty” mind like me, you’re probably wondering if there’s a porn parody of the Boston Cougar, maybe “Jizz on Liz” or “Whorin’ for Warren.” Well, wonder no more: “Hello Cougar” comedienne, frequent DrSuzy.Tv guest and multiple SUZY award winner, Sally Mullins, aka porn star Jamie Foster, pounced on it. Her uncanny resemblance to Elizabeth Warren, dressing and acting the part in films like Scorin’ with Warren, makes her the perfect Liz Warren Porn Parody Doppleganger. You can also see Sally as Liz on The Dr. Susan Block Show broadcast live just before the Coronapocalypse: First, we talk politics and beer (Corona, of course), but then I just have to strip the Senator down and book-spank her naughty bare bottom with The Bonobo Way to make her feel the Bern for how she treated Bernie. Watch Cougar Liz Warren Does DrSuzy.Tv. Unlike Liz, Sally Mullins is a proud real-life cougar. Blonde and bawdy as a modern-day Mae West, we met Sally in 2017 on Kink Month III: Night of the Cougar, when she was our featured guest promoting her “Hello Cougar” show that showcased her erotic encounters with cubs. She came back to Bonoboville for Cougar Kink to promote “Cookin’ 4 Pussy,” in which potential suitors would whip up something delicious for her in exchange for sex… if she likes what they cook, or maybe how they cook it. [gallery columns="6" link="file" ids="55963,55958,55964,55967,55961,55957,55959,55955,55956,55965,55962,55954,55966,55953,55951,55950,55949,55952"] On Cougar Equinox, we delved deeper into Sally’s quirky CougarSexuality—exploring how, as porn star Jamie Foster, she lives her Cougar fantasies to the sexual fullest—and we give cute cubbette Sunshine a bare-bottom OTK (over-the-knee) spanking over all four of our knees. Sally enjoys her Cougar lifestyle for a number of reasons, not least of which is that it provides a constant source of comedy for her show. Laughter is a mental orgasm, after all. She also likes the regular orgasms that come with the Cougar life. The “mature woman” of Ben Franklin’s wet dreams, Sally seems to genuinely appreciate the sexual energy and drive of younger men, and the fact that they don’t try to control her very free spirit (as older guys tend to do), at least not outside the bedroom—where she kind of likes to be controlled. Now she hunts for her “prey” online, as well as everywhere else. She’s also picked up a few younger guys right here in Bonoboville, not that that’s a huge challenge. Bonobo Cougars Cougarsexuality is very bonoboësque. Indeed, the Make-Love-Not-War bonobos empower the older females—sexually and otherwise—more than any other great ape culture.

Bonobo Cougars rule Bonoboville.

Along with common chimpanzees, bonobos are the closest Great Apes to human. But while common chimps are patriarchal with older females being at the bottom of the hierarchy, among bonobos, the mature females are at the top, in charge, respected and usually beloved by all. They’re almost all mothers, so you could call them MILFs—and I often do! They’re also Cougars, as these mature bonobo females also tend to be bold and confident in their pursuit of younger partners (male and female) and, of course, they love sex. Indeed, Bonobo Cougars rule Bonoboville. Based on their greater experience, the older females impart their erotic wisdom to the younger generations. Not only do Bonobo Cougars teach their younger lovers how to have sex in a Bonobo Sutra of positions, they also teach them to how to use sex to make “peace through pleasure.” It’s amazing! Bonobos are the only Great Apes that have never been seen killing each other in the wild or captivity, in part, because Bonobo Cougars are in charge of life in Bonoboville. I often say that that we humans would be better off if we could release our inner bonobos and follow the Bonobo Way, not just because we’d have more fun in life, but because bonobos hold the keys to a world without war. Cougarsexuality is one of those keys. Cougar Power From glittering palaces to wild jungles, Cougars are everywhere. If you’ve really read this far (and didn’t just skip to the bottom), congratulations! You’re now a Cougar/cub sexpert.

If you still have questions about finding or being a Cougar, concerns about your Cougar/cub relationship, an interest in phone sex therapy, or you’d just like to explore a Cougar fantasy in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, perhaps through erotic hypnosis, guided masturbation or webcam therapy, call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213.291.9497. Where you’re a Cougar, cub or just curious, we’re here for you.

Want to Read Some Reader Comments about Cougar Sexuality? Or Post Your Own Comment? Click These Links: Cougar Sexuality on Facebook Twitter One Twitter Two

© May 27. 2021 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950. Read More

Adult Baby Diaper Fetish Comments Off

Call [callus] by Dr. Susan Block.

Have you ever wanted to just be a baby again?

Do you get aroused by the idea—or the reality—of wearing diapers, being held by warm strong arms, nuzzling big soft breasts, suckling mama’s nipples, being spanked, being cuddled, coddled or just plain babied? Do you want to cry like a baby? Laugh like a baby? Mess your diaper like a baby? Be treated like a spoiled, cranky, naughty or very good, very special baby?

You’re not alone.

Do you need to talk about it privately and confidentially with someone who understands?

The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other types of sexuality, whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497

Are you an Adult Baby Diaper Lover?

Everyone enjoys being "babied" sometimes, but some crave it some quite literally.

If you like roleplaying that you are a baby and/or wear diapers—either for sexual or nonsexual reasons—you may be an Adult Baby Diaper Lover (AB/DL).

You may enjoy enacting childhood activities such as crawling on the floor, playing with toys, sucking on a pacifier or talking in baby talk, or being cared for by a parent—a mommy or daddy (more on that later!)—or a babysitter. Or perhaps just like to wear diapers, because the sensation of diapers might give you an erotic charge and/or a feeling of comfort which you can incorporate in your sexual relationships.

AB/DL, sometimes referred to as "infantilism," encompasses a wide spectrum, and anyone who identifies as such has their own definition of what it means to them and what they enjoy. Some people, like those who identify as adult toddlers, may want to just wear children’s clothes and not be entirely helpless. Others yearn to hand over total control to a “dominant” caregiver, letting them take care of everything, from reading them books at bedtime to making their food (which consists mostly of baby food, snacks, or whatever the adult baby desires) to even changing their dirty “diapees,” There are also adult bed-wetters, who find comfort and/or excitement in peeing in bed or “messing” their diapers.

Many enjoy AB/DL in a BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sadomaschism) context, with a Domme acting as Mommy—a “Dommy Mommy”—or a “Daddy Dom” providing discipline, like spanking or flogging, or gagging with a pacifier.

AB/DL Misconceptions

Long-time misconceptions of people who identify as AB/DL have been images of lazy, unappealing older men, who use the AB/DL moniker to give credence to their need for someone to take care of them.

That might be true of some, but many AB/DLs are high-functioning, independent people in the real world, and very capable of caring for themselves. Many are CEOs, bankers, college students, lawyers, professors—even world leaders (one prominent big baby comes to mind)—or otherwise ordinary folks. Sometimes their demanding, intensive schedules and always-in-control, high-pressure lifestyles feed into their need to check into their AB/DL personas to hand over control to someone else.

AB/DLs are also not pedophiles; this is yet another common misconception due to the link between childhood regression and sexuality. The vast majority of AB/DLs do not want to have sex with kids, they want to be kids.

Anyone within the AB/DL community will be quick to tell you that AB/DL is a roleplaying fantasy between consenting adults only, not with any real children at all.

Why Do You Like Diapers?

There is no single, definitive “cause” for AB/DL desires.

Furthermore, there is not likely to be just one reason that you long to return to your diaper-wearing days and suck on a pacifier as an adult. Like most fetishes and sexual interests, your desire probably stems from a combination of experiences, tendencies and needs.

One likely root of your AB/DL fetish would be your need to feel supported, nurtured, comforted or controlled. Perhaps you want to release your “inner child” to escape the pressures, responsibilities and the hypocrisy of adult life, if only temporarily. Hard-to-handle feelings of adult guilt—real or imagined—may drive you to seek the innocence of babyhood.

Your fetish for diapers might also relate to how you were toilet trained, especially if your toilet training was somehow difficult. Perhaps you experienced some trauma related to your childhood, and your AB/DL feelings are a way of coping with that. You may have received too much or not enough attention as a child, so you crave the feeling of being nurtured and/or disciplined by a parent figure. Perhaps you also eroticize these feelings, though not all AB/DL are aroused sexually by indulging their fetish. For some, it’s just comforting.

Perhaps the feeling of a Huggie hugging your bottom turns you on or just helps you to feel more secure in your daily life, secretly sporting your Bambinos under your Chinos.

Then again, you might have real-life medical issues that require you to wear diapers 24/7. Not every adult who has to wear diapers eroticizes them; in fact, most don’t. But many do, and sexualizing those diapers that you have to wear anyway can help you to feel good about something that otherwise might feel shameful, onerous or uncomfortable.

Did you know that astronauts often wear diapers? Called Maximum Absorbency Garments (MAG), these are adult-sized diapers with extra absorption material that NASA astronauts wear during liftoff, landing, and extra-vehicular activity (EVA) to absorb urine and feces. Wonder if some of those Space Force cadets are AB/DL…

However, most AB/DL don’t have to wear diapers; they just like to.

If you’re just beginning to understand your interest in diapers or your desire to suck your thumb, eat dinosaur-shaped cereal or wear cartoon-covered onesies, you might want to take some time exploring it on your own before trying to share it with someone new in your life.

Certain toys, clothes, or behaviors might trigger your AB/DL side, or perhaps activities like watching cartoons or G-rated movies, using baby talk or messing your diaper. Take time to try different scenes to examine what feels best for you.

Do you enjoy having sex in a diaper? Lots of AB/DL do, whether it’s masturbation, oral, BDSM-oriented or just “regular” sexual intercourse with the added spice of one or both partners wearing diapers and/or doing age play.

Every adult baby, diaper lover, little, adult toddler, sissy baby, diaper boy, diaper girl, etc. is different, and it takes time to understand why this fetish speaks to you. If you need to talk about it, give us call at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you and all your adult baby needs.

AB/DL and “Little” Kink

If you enjoy living your AB/DL fantasies in a kink-specific context, AB/DL crosses over quite often into BDSM. Instead of being called an adult baby or diaper lover, some kinksters are called “littles” while their caregivers are often called Bigs, Daddies or Mommies.

The relationship between a little and a Big can be similar to that of a sub and a Dom/me where the Big/Daddy/Mommy provides Dominant support to their submissive little.

Littles can be of any gender, age or sexual orientation. If you are the little, your Dom/me may nurture, discipline and/or control you. In certain relationships, you may enjoy soiling your diaper in order to get humiliated by their Mommy or Daddy. Usually this involves water sports, but could include Coprophagia, a.k.a., a feces fetish.

Not all littles identify as babies or toddlers; they just enjoy pretending to be young, usually in the context of “age play.”

Just like other types of submissives may go into “subspace” in a BDSM session, you may experience “little space,” a pleasant, out-of-control, often ecstatic, sometimes orgasmic feeling, like being “in the zone.”

Little space can be triggered in different ways, from the Dommy Mommy or Daddy uttering certain sounds or phrases, being babied, controlled, spanked or disciplined in other ways that turn you on or take you on a trip into a dream world where you feel like you really are the little baby of your fantasies.

Challenges of AB/DL

Many AB/DLs live in shame and have difficulty accepting this facet of their personality and/or sexuality, let alone disclosing it to anyone else.

However you feel, it’s okay to feel that way. But it certainly helps your sense of well-being to feel good about yourself and your sexuality.

Some try to stop AB/DL desires from occurring, but it’s usually impossible to stop your own desires. You can control what you do and how you behave, but you can’t control what you think or how you feel. Nevertheless, lots of people try, throwing away their diapers as they vow never to wear them again, then buying more when the urge gets irresistible, called “binge and purge” syndrome. Sometimes they can go without their fetish for years, but usually it comes back in some way. These back-and-forth patterns often create frustration, rage, stress, insecurity and even depression.

To help you with this, you might want to get into therapy. Of course, not many therapists, even sex therapists, are knowledgeable or understanding of AB/DL. Some therapists might be judgmental. Some erroneously believe in the misconceptions listed above and might even make an AB/DL feel worse about their feelings than they did before they went into therapy!

Unfortunately, there also isn’t a lot of research dedicated to understanding AB/DL, so you probably won’t find as much information online about it as you would about other common fetishes.

However, you can talk about it with the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Several of us are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other aspects of AB/DL, whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience. Call us anytime 24/7 at 213-291-9497.

Whether you get into therapy or not, it’s important to know that there is nothing wrong with being an AB/DL. It’s not illegal or unethical, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

That said, it’s not for everyone. In fact, it’s not for most people.

That’s okay; you don’t have to share it with everyone—just an understanding therapist, sex worker, lover or friend is usually enough.

Dating can be especially challenging for AB/DLs.

Nevertheless, it’s possible, and if you’re patient and lucky, it can be fantastic.

In some cases a partner may even feel moved to participate and share in an AB/DL’s roleplay, enacting the role of the caretaker by feeding their beloved adult baby milk from a bottle, reading them a bedtime story, speaking to them in baby talk, spanking them and/or changing their diaper. As with all sexual activities, it’s important that couples negotiate their expectations and boundaries.

Not all AB/DL play involves sex, so some people enjoy adult baby play with no sex involved.

If it proves difficult for you to get into a relationship with someone who will enjoy AB/DL with you, consider booking a session with a sex worker, escort, dominatrix or other professional who specializes in AB/DL. There’s nothing wrong with going to a sex worker, and it might be perfect for you, especially if you’re shy about bringing it up to someone in a dating context.

Escorting should be decriminalized, and it is in some states. Even if it’s not legal in your area, much adult baby play doesn’t involve sex anyway, so you needn’t worry about legalities.

That doesn’t mean you should give up on finding someone special with whom to share your fetish. Rest assured, there are people out there who are open to learning more about AB/DL. They may be interested for their own reasons, or they may get involved just because they love their partner and want to do what they enjoy.

Loving an AB/DL

Is someone you love an adult baby?

Loving an AB/DL doesn’t require expertise in the subject, but does demand some compassion, understanding and acceptance.

Having your partner come out to you as an Adult Baby Diaper Lover can be rather shocking, especially when you aren’t familiar with AB/DLs. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re shocked, but that doesn’t mean you should expect your AB/DL lover to toss their Pampers in the trash and forget about them from now on. They can’t and they won’t. If they never bring it up to you again, rest assured that they are simply enjoying their fetish when you are not around. They may even be doing it with someone else. Regardless, they are still thinking about it and feeling bad about your intolerance, whether it makes them feel ashamed, angry, depressed or just frustrated.

However, if you’re open minded, or at least willing to hear them out, ask questions about their specific experiences and fantasies, and do a little research (start by carefully reading the previous sections), you can learn where they’re coming from and how you might fit in. Some AB/DLs are fine just acting out their fantasy by themselves or around you. Others prefer that you participate, usually as a caretaker or fellow baby. Some want to incorporate diapers into sex.

This might be a deal-breaker for you, and that could be painful for both of you. But better to break up now than suffer in silence or expect them to forget their desires as you go along as if nothing’s different.

If you do want to maintain the relationship, you need to be open and understanding, and you might find yourself surprised that it’s not as bad as you feared. Maybe you’ll even have fun with it. It might even turn you on!

Nevertheless, your own comfort level is as important as theirs. All sexual and interpersonal activity should be consensual. You should try new things, stretch your boundaries and expand your horizons. There’s nothing wrong with doing something that doesn’t turn you on just because it makes your partner feel good. They probably do things just to make you happy sometimes. Just don’t do anything you really don’t want to do.

You might find that you enjoy some AB/DL activities, but not others. For instance, maybe you enjoy feeding your adult baby, tickling them, talking baby talk or giving them a good spanking, but you are not up for changing their diapers. Don’t be afraid to assert your boundaries. Just because you’re in love with an AB/DL doesn’t mean you have to give into all of your baby’s demands.

Want some tips on handling your adult baby—or your own emotions? Got questions or concerns? Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute. We can help.

Need to Talk about AB/DL? Still have questions? Not sure how to explore your Adult Baby Diaper Lover fetish by yourself or with a partner? Want to b

etter understand this aspect of your life? Are you in a relationship with an AB/DL and not sure how to handle it? Are you an AB/DL who wants to share this with your spouse, partner or someone new? It’s okay if there’s more you need to know. AB/DL is widely misunderstood, and it’s hard to find someone with whom to discuss, discover, explore and enjoy them.

Whatever your desires or concerns, you can talk about them with the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Several of us are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other aspects of AB/DL. Whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience, we’re just a phone call away. Call us anytime 24/7 at 213-291-9497.

We’re here for you.

GANGBANG Phone Sex Therapy Comments Off

by Dr. Susan Block.

Are you thinking about gangbangs?

Do you ever fantasize about multiple men having sex with one woman? Do you imagine your wife, lover or favorite celebrity at the center of the action? Would you want it to be with your friends or strangers? Have you ever participated in a gangbang? Would you like to try it?

Do you need to talk about it?

Being aroused by the idea of participating in a consensual gangbang is normal and a lot more common than you might realize. You may want to act on your desire, or you may not. Regardless, though gangbangs and all forms of group sex are taboo in most modern human societies—and no one should ever take part in a nonconsensual gangbang—they remain part of our prehistoric primate heritage. Indeed, gangbangs have been going on since the dawn of humanity, for thousands of years before the concepts of monogamy and even fatherhood came into understanding.

Need to talk privately about gangbangs, group sex, swinging, cuckolding or any other form of recreational sex? call the world’s foremost experts, the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Our team of highly qualified sex therapists, sex life coaches, fantasy roleplay performers, sexual psychodrama facilitators, erotic hypnotherapists and kink specialists are here for YOU anytime you need to talk.

Whether you want to better understand your own feelings and desires, act them out in real life, learn how to share them with your partner, work through past experiences, hear about our own experiences with gangbangs, or explore a fantasy over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here for you. Call 213-291-9497.

Why Do You Love Gangbangs?

Many gangbang enthusiasts are worried that their interest in gangbangs, threesomes “The Lifestyle” and other forms of group sex makes them “weird.” If that sounds like you, rest assured you’re not weird.

Human sexual history, in fact, is loaded with various kinds of group sex, including gangbangs. Unfortunately, much of it—way too much of it—has been by force, most notably and tragically during wartime. Unfortunately, when Hollywood movies, such as The Accused, depict gangbangs, though they don’t show genitalia like porn, they almost invariably show the horrible, nonconsensual kind.

However, some of the group sex that’s been going on since hunter/gatherer times has been consensual and a great pleasure, as well as a profoundly meaningful experience, for all involved. That includes gender-balanced swing parties, same sex orgies, one male with a “harem” of females, as well as one female having sex with multiple men.

So, there’s nothing new about group sex, including gangbangs. What is *new* is that the Internet allows us to learn more about what other people do than ever before in human history. Moreover, if we want, we can *hook up* with people who share our desires—including the desire to watch or partake in a good gangbang.

Search “gangbang” in google, and you’ll see megatons of gangbang porn, and the great majority appears to be enthusiastically consensual. According to PornHub.com, which received 42 billion visits in 2019, “threesome” was the 13^th most popular search term and “gangbang” was the 19^th most popular, putting both in the top 20.

But why is this? Aren’t we supposed to want to be with just one special lover? Why would sharing lovers with others turn us on?

Sperm Wars & the Upsuck Effect

The “Sperm Wars” phenomenon—where the womb becomes a battleground for sperm that fight like armies or football teams to get one of their sperm (the proverbial football) to the egg first—gives us a biological explanation of why gangbangs are so popular.

Studies show that a man’s sperm count tends to rise when competition to fertilize the egg of his wife or girlfriend appears to be high. Whether the man really has genuine rivals who are having sex with his partner or it’s just in his vivid imagination, his brain sends a message to his testicles that says, “Send in the army!” or “We need the whole football team, including reinforcements, for this game!”

In other words, “Make more sperm!”

Whether he’s excited and happy about the competition or jealous and angry, this phenomenon tends to give a man a stronger erection and a more explosive ejaculation. Of course, it’s better for everyone concerned if he’s more glad than mad, but that does explain why jealous, angry lovemaking or “makeup sex” can be so arousing for some people, despite their better judgment.

Conversely, sperm counts often decline in the routine sex of monogamous relationships, no matter how intimate and loving. Since the element of competition is missing, the brain’s message to the balls is, “You don’t need the whole football team to score this goal since there’s no rival team on the field. Conserve your resources and just send in a few runners.”

The shape of the human penis gives us another clue as to why gangbangs are so popular. A study by Gordon Gallup and coworkers (2003) concluded that one evolutionary purpose of the thrusting motion characteristic of intense intercourse is for the penis to “upsuck” another man’s semen before depositing its own. Thus a man’s urge to thrust, through intercourse or masturbation, is often enhanced by the presence of another man or several men, whether real or fantasized.

A Galaxy of Gangbangs

There are many different kinds of gangbangs.

There’s the beach party gangbang, a birthday gangbang, a soft-swing gangbang that involves outercourse instead of intercourse. It could be a spanking gangbang, a cuckold gangbang, an oral or an anal gangbang.

In terms of the participants, there’s the classic one-woman-with-a-male-gang scenario—and then there’s anything else that turns you and you partner(s) on.

Maybe you’re a man who longs to be gangbanged by other men, or perhaps by a group of women sporting strap-ons or squirting all over you.

Most men who imagine such scenarios don’t dare express their feelings, not to other men nor to the women in their lives, for fear of being humiliated… even if “humiliation” is part of the fantasy.

Need to talk about it privately with someone who understands? Call us at 213.291.9497.

Consent is Essential

As with any type of sexual activity, the most important element of a gangbang is consent. Fantasy gangbangs can involve whatever turns you on, but any real-life gangbang should require enthusiastic consent from all participants, especially the recipient, the person (usually, but not always, a female) who is at the center of the gangbang.

Otherwise, it’s a gang rape. Even if that turns you on in fantasy, it’s not something to ever participate in reality.

Keep in mind that, for many reasons, feelings of consent can change over the course of a few minutes or hours. So, it’s important to continually “check in” with the recipient to make sure she or he is “all right,” happy and eager for more.

At the first sign of reluctance on the part of the recipient, no matter how turned on everybody else is, the gangbang must stop.

Whether or not the gangbang is a success, it’s important to provide “after care,” especially to the recipient. This could take the form of hugs, drinks, food, help cleaning up, words of appreciation, a massage or whatever the recipient enjoys.

Need advice preparing your next gangbang soirée? We’ll help you to make sure it’s a success for all concerned. Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

Are You a Cuckold?

"Cuckold" is an old English term for a man whose wife (often called a “hotwife”) has sex with other men (called “bulls”). In the 21st century, there has been a resurgence of interest in the cuckold's predicament, cuckold sex, cuckold fantasies, cuckold erotica, hot wives, big bulls, sperm wars and the cuckold lifestyle.

There’s also the cuckold gangbang, when the hotwife has sex with several bulls at one time. The gangbang may or may not include the cuckold himself.

There are many types of cuckolds: Submissive Cuckolds, Dominant Cuckolds, Sissy Cuckolds, Fantasy Cuckolds, Sapiosexual Cuckolds, Interracial Cuckolds, Small-Cock Cuckolds, Bi-Curious Cuckolds, Swinger Cuckolds, Spanked Cuckolds, Cuckolds-in-Bondage, Cuckolds-in-Chastity, Director Cuckolds, Cuckold Voyeurs, Cuckold Exhibitionists, Cheated-On Cuckolds, Trans Cuckolds, Reluctant Cuckolds, Humiliated Cuckolds, Happy Cuckolds and many more varieties.

Along with the growing popularity of cuckolding, there has been a growing acceptance of it as a “normal” sexual interest, even if it’s enhanced with a gangbang, as long as it’s all consensual.

Nevertheless, many men feel ashamed of their desire to be cuckolded, perhaps especially if it involves a gangbang. Such men tend to feel a whole lot better when they learn the “sperm wars” biological explanation for their desires, as well as just how common and “normal” these desires are.

Need to talk about sperm wars, cuckolding or gangbangs? Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213-291-9497.

Group Sex & Swinging

There are many forms of group sex, from threesomes to orgies, polyamorous arrangements, swing parties and pansexual celebrations. Gangbangs are another form of group sex.

Group sex might sound very kinky for some, but it fulfills a very natural, human need to share erotic, orgasmic, loving experiences with multiple people, friends, loved ones and attractive strangers. In a world that increasingly demands compartmentalization and isolation, there are few arenas left in which humans can share in this vital, life-affirming experience of communal ecstasy.

Different group sex formations are popular, such as the “daisy chain” in which participants perform oral sex on each other in circular formation.

Some threesomes exhibit a gangbang flair, such as the “spit-roast,” where two males engage a female (or another male), with one penetrating from the rear, usually doggy style, while the female performs fellatio on the other male. There’s also “double-penetration” in which one male penetrates the lady’s vagina while the other enters her anus. If she goes down on another, that’s a triple-penetration. Add a few more guys around them, watching, stroking themselves and waiting their turn, and you’ve got a classic gangbang.

Go Bonobos for Gangbangs

Gangbangs and other forms of group sex are very common amongst our closest genetic cousins, both common chimpanzees—who are more likely do it non-consensually—and especially bonobos —who usually do it with enthusiastic consent and are thus far more worthy of our emulation.

In fact, the sexual behavior of all the great apes is a fascinating window into how early human sexual behavior evolved, giving us vital clues as to why gangbangs are so arousing for so many people.

Many anthropologists agree that prehistoric humans often engaged in various forms of group sex for tens of thousands of years before the advent of farming and “civilization” started pressuring people, especially women, to be sexually monogamous.

Certainly, prehistoric humans participated in consensual gangbangs and other bonoboesque forms of recreational sex that are generally considered taboo in modern human society.

Do you yearn to liberate your inner bonobo… at least in the Erotic Theater of the Mind? Call us at 213-291-9497.

Bukkake Gangbangs

If you’re a porn fan, you probably know that “bukkake” is a Japanese term that refers to spraying the face and body of a person, usually a woman, though sometimes a man, with sperm from one, several or many men. The word actually means “splash” or “squirt” in Japanese. In some bukkake sessions, 150 men ejaculate onto one woman.

That’s some gigantic gangbang!

In American-style bukkake, the recipient acts like she’s enjoying herself, rubbing the sperm into her skin like a beauty treatment.

In Japanese-style bukkake, the recipient is more degraded, often acting like she is an unwilling participant (hopefully, it’s just an act).

Legend has it that in ancient Japan, an adulterous woman would be dragged into the town square and tied up, whereupon every man in town ejaculated all over her in a frenzied bukkake gangbang. Basically, they seem to have been saying, “If you’re going to take it from a man other than you husband, you’re going to get it from everyone else. You’re going to be gangbanged.”

Some say it comes from the practice of stoning an unfaithful woman to death, and that bukkake is a “kinder, gentler” chastisement. Whether or not the legends are true, “bukkake” became a form of Japanese porn in the 1980s, grew in popularity, and now if you type “bukkake” into google, you’re likely to get hundreds of sites, even if you don’t spell it right.

Bukkake is so vivid and provocative, it can represent many different ideas and feelings. Years ago, in an antiwar context, I compared the “Shock & Awe” bombing of Iraq with bukkake (the nonconsensual kind) in Bukkake Bombing Crusade.

But back to consensual bukkake (even if it’s made to look forced) where nobody gets killed and, hopefully, everybody has fun and big orgasms, including the recipient.

By far the most common bukkake scenario is a group of males ejaculating on a female, but there are scenes where a group of women gangbang a man or woman, spraying the recipient with female ejaculate.

Gay male bukkake gangbangs are also popular in which a group of men gangbang one male recipient, covering him in their creamy spunk.

Just the sight of all that semen can trigger the Sperm Wars effect in many guys—gay, straight or bi.

Banzai!

Gangbangs: Natural, Normal…But Not Easy

Just because a desire for gangbangs is natural and popular doesn’t mean it’s easy to make it happen in real life, especially in our erotophobic society. There are many variables with one-on-one sex, and group sex just ratchets up the possibilities for problems as well as pleasure.

For instance, say you’re a man with an intense gangbang fantasy that you’d really like to make happen in real life. But what if the woman (your wife? Your girlfriend? Your sex buddy?) isn’t as enthusiastic about being “gangbanged” as you are about seeing her in that situation?

What if you can’t find the right guys? Where do you find them? How do you screen them? How do you handle safer sex? What if, despite the fantasy turning you on, the reality makes you jealous? What if people gossip about it, take photos without your permission or otherwise betray your trust? How do you mix lust with trust?

Sometimes it helps to talk freely with someone who understands, won’t judge you and will help you. Whether you need more personalized advice or just want to roleplay a fantasy, call the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213-291-9497

Are You a Gangbang Goddess?

Are you a woman who wants to be gangbanged? Congratulations! You are a very sexual female, and you deserve to enjoy the tremendous, unparalleled pleasures of group sex.

The good news is it probably won’t be tough for you to find partners who want to gangbang you. Just post an ad on a swinger site and watch the replies flood your inbox.

The bad news is that it’s not so easy to find partners you really like, feel attraction for and trust with your naked sexuality. It might take some time and patience to mix trust with lust to create the gangbang of your dreams.

Unfortunately, most modern societies around the world denigrate all forms of group sex, including consensual gangbangs. This can make your partner judge you harshly for confessing or expressing your desires. So, it’s usually best that you understand your feelings and the issues involved before divulging too much.

Most importantly, before you plunge into the deep end of gangbanging and group sex, make sure this is something you want to do, not just something your husband or lover wants you to do. Don’t grudgingly “go along” with a scene that doesn’t turn you on, like Paul Manafort’s wife is alleged to have done in their “interracial” gangbangs. Enthusiastic consent—on your part and the part of all involved—is the basis of a great gangbang or any kind of great sex at all.

Need to talk about how to turn your gangbang fantasy into reality? Want to find out how to create the ultimate gangbang, whom to invite, what to serve and what to wear? Want to learn more about the origins of your personal gangbang desires? Or do you just want to enjoy guided masturbation as we explore the fantasy together?

Whatever you need to talk about, you can call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute and talk to one of our male, female, trans or non-binary therapists of all ages over 18 with great gangbang knowledge, experience and erotic appreciation.

Whether you’d like to get a better understanding of your fetish, get some tips for talking to your partner about it, work through past experiences, hear about our experiences with gangbangs, or just explore gangbangs in the Erotic Theater of the Mind over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here to help. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

ORGASM Comments Off

by Dr. Susan Block.

It’s all about the orgasm.

Well, maybe not all. There are other important aspects to good sex: sensuality, intimacy, humor, consent, creativity, openness, communication, love. But for many people, orgasms—yours and your lover(s)—tendto be the high points of sexual experience.

Orgasm might just be the peak of our very existence. That’s why we also call it a “climax.” It’s certainly considered by many to be the most pleasurable thing we can enjoy. That thrumming rush of endorphins as it builds via foreplay, teasing and erotic tension, the electric thrill, the ultimate eruption and release, accompanied by intensely pleasurable, rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvis and sometimes throughout the body, as well as in the mind, ecstasy enveloping your entire being, sometime make you feel that you “lose” your body… or your mind. You might also feel like you’re floating through space or hurtling through time into infinity, a shattering of the “ego,” blending into a deep “cosmic” awareness of your cellular connection with everyone and everything in the universe, along with a marvelous sense of well-being.

Oh, what a feeling.

Yet, for some of us, orgasms are elusive, “over-rated” and almost mythical. Some people, usually women, have never experienced sexual climax in their lives. Other women or men, due to the aging process, or physical and/or mental trauma, may have once climaxed easily and often, but not anymore.

Orgasms aren’t everything, but not having them—for whatever reason—can certainly take the wind out of your sexual sails. What to do?

Need to talk about your orgasms?

Private and absolutely confidential, you can call the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213-291-9497. Whatever your question, desire or orgasmic issue, we’re here for you.

Orgasm Education

Could you benefit from a little orgasm education? It’s not a subject they teach in school… at least not in the classroom. Yet most of us would greatly benefit from learning a thing or two about orgasms, as well as why and how we have them… or don’t have them.

Not everyone just instinctively “knows” how to climax in a way that is satisfying for themselves and their partners. Many women have to learn to “achieve” or release orgasm, and many men greatly benefit from learning to control the timing of their orgasms. Most people of all genders can achieve greater, stronger orgasms through experience, education and just sharing information.

What kinds of orgasms do you experience? What would you like to try?

Orgasms are like flowers; there are many different varieties. All are beautiful in their own way, but some may not be your cup of love juice. There are quickie orgasms, deep slow orgasms, clitoral orgasms and G-spot orgasms (for women), C-spot orgasms (also for women, involving the cervix), P-spot orgasms (for men), blended orgasms, extended orgasms, oral sex orgasms, masturbatory orgasms, woman-on-top orgasms, missionary orgasms, doggy-style orgasms, reverse-cowgirl orgasms, spoon-style orgasms, yabyum orgasms, first-time orgasms, multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, orgasms that seem to come from parts of the body other than the genitals (i.e., nipplegasms, toegasms, eargasms), anal orgasms, emotional orgasms, no-touch orgasms, fantasy-powered orgasms, fetish-oriented orgasms, vibrator orgasms, dildo orgasms, sadomasochistic orgasms, orgy orgasms, bondage orgasms, pain-killer orgasms, sinus-clearing orgasms, “Sperm Wars” orgasms, tantric-style non-ejaculatory orgasms for men, male ejaculatory orgasms that shoot versus the kind that just dribble, and female ejaculatory orgasms (squirting). There are even so-called “forced orgasms” where the Dominant partner restrains the submissive (consensually, of course) until they climax, seemingly against their will. There are mini-orgasms that last a half-second and orgasms that go on for days—or feel like they do.

Got questions about any type of orgasm? Give us a call anytime at 213-291-9497.

“Oh God!”

In a very real sense, coming or “cumming” is sacred. Maybe that’s why so many of us call out to “God” when we cum. Climaxing launches us into a higher state of being—one many of us yearn to experience on a regular basis. However, while frequent orgasming is good and good for you, there are some practical limits. After all, you’ve got a life to live, maybe a job to work, relationships to foster, issues to deal with. Sacrificing everything else for the sake of the ultimate O isn’t necessarily desirable or even feasible.

For instance, you may be a “demisexual” who can only climax via intimacy with a meaningful partner, which might sound very nice but means that you freeze up during first-time encounters. On the other hand, you might have stronger orgasms via self-pleasure—or, even more problematic, during an affair—than with your regular partner, the person you love.

Orgasms, though fabulous, can be fickle.

Are your orgasmic needs at odds with your other needs, desires and goals? Need to sort it out with someone knowledgeable?

Or do you feel like you just need to “cum” in a safe, confidential context that doesn’t interfere with your other priorities and just lets you enjoy your strongest solo-sex orgasm possible?

To kick that Big O into overdrive, call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7. And yes, of course, you can masturbate during sessions. And no, there is no sex therapy center or phone sex service quite like ours. Call us: 213-291-9497.

Orgasm Yoga

Many people practice yoga, meditation and martial arts to reach that “higher” level of being, but an orgasm instantly blasts you past anything those disciplines can achieve—and (usually) with a lot less effort. It might not last long or grant deep wisdom, but there’s no denying the physical and mental bliss that occurs in that explosive moment and in the lingering after-glow.

How about orgasm yoga? Perhaps a class like the late great Dr. Betty Dodson taught featuring lessons in arousal and orgasm control, climaxing with a naked, orgiastic group release. Talk about Hot Yoga… wow! Sounds titillating—and it sure is—but unless you are an exhibitionist, for most people, having an orgasm is a private affair.

How about a private orgasm yoga class one-on-one with just you and your orgasm yoga teacher? We can make it happen via phone, webcam or sext therapy.

To get started, call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

A Glorious Gift

Climaxing yourself is one thing (and it’s a very important thing!), but being able to give someone else body-shaking orgasms is also a wonderful skill well worth cultivating. It’s a glorious gift to your partner, not to mention a self-esteem boost for yourself. While it’s certainly true that you are not “responsible” for your partner’s orgasm, there’s no denying how good you both feel when you can help someone you care about “cum.”

Whether you’re rubbing their button, stroking their shaft, fingering their g-spot (or p-spot), grinding against their pubic bone as you penetrate their depths, squeezing their stick, whispering fantasies in their ear, or going up and down as they go in and out, the power to give pleasure is the greatest power you have.

Do you have trouble helping your lover climax? Is your partner unable to orgasm when you have sex? Do you want to improve your ability to give your lover(s) pleasure? Need some advice or inspiration? Call our Pleasure Counselors anytime at 213-291-9497.

Orgasm Issues

We believe that everyone—male, female or however you identify—can experience some kind of orgasm. Furthermore, we all have a “right” to have orgasms (though we don’t have rights to have orgasms with others, unless they consent, of course).

For various reasons, not all of us can achieve orgasm as “freely” and easily as we’d like to, and some of us have a more difficult time of it than others. This may be due to a physical problem; a relationship issue; emotional trauma from past sexual abuse; a strict, religious, anti-sex upbringing or just a lot of really bad sex.

Some women suffer from “anorgasmia,” the inability to climax. The good news is that many anorgasmic learn to have fantastic orgasms, if they really want to, with sex therapy (especially if the anorgasmia is due to trauma from past experiences), sex education, relaxation and kegel exercises, perhaps a good vibrator or, if the anaorgasmia is very severe, the help of medications and hormone treatments.

Though anorgasmia is more common among women than men, some guys, especially older males or men taking antidepressants and other medications, are anorgasmic or just have difficulties climaxing.

Sometimes it might take a long period of stimulation, more than your partner enjoys, for you to climax. You might need or desire more consistent, lengthier or more intense stimulation than your partner can even tolerate. This discrepancy in orgasmic needs can turn pleasure (orgasm) into pain and frustration for both of you.

If that sounds like your situation, maybe we can help, as we’ve helped thousands of men, women and couples every day for over 25 years. Give us a call at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you.

Many men, especially younger men, suffer from so-called “premature” ejaculation. The suffering is not in the orgasm itself, but in the shame and embarrassment often felt with a partner hoping for more. The good news is that most men naturally slow down as they age. Moreover, if you really want to learn how to keep from blowing your load before your partner is ready for it, even when you’re young, you can do it! Read “Pre-Mature Ejaculation Combat Tips & Techniques,” and try the stop-start or squeeze techniques and other suggestions. Then, if you have questions or need some personal guidance for great orgasm control—which ultimately leads to stronger, more satisfying orgasms—give us a call anytime at 213.291-9497.

Benefits of Orgasm

As if the pure pleasure of orgasm isn’t enough to make you want to cum right now, get this: climaxing is good for your health.

It’s common knowledge that orgasms relieve stress, but they also benefit your health in numerous other ways. The big O raises your heart rate—even if you do it lying down! Exercising your heart is great cardio. It’s just what the doctor ordered (though most doctors wouldn’t dare to order it). Orgasms can also reduce inflammation and sometimes completely eliminate the pain of a headache, cramps or even sinus congestion. The sexual hormones released during an orgasm are linked to lower rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. A good climax can help you fall into that deliciously deep sleep that eludes so many of us in today’s 24/7 society—and its much better for you than taking a Xanax or even a Melatonin. Regularly orgasming keeps your skin healthy and younger looking. An orgasm a day reduces the risk of prostate cancer in men. There’s even evidence that women who climax regularly during sex live longer than women who don’t.

Can more orgasms create peace on earth? Who knows, but it’s the Bonobo Way, and hey, it’s worth a try! Like the old saying goes: You can’t fight a war while you’re having an orgasm.

Orgasm is a great equalizer. Not everyone in this unfortunately unequal world of ours can be rich, powerful, beautiful (in the conventional sense) or “successful.” But everyone alive can experience an orgasm of some sort, and that’s a very valuable kind of “success” of its own.

Orgasms are amazing, maybe the most amazing life-affirming moments we living creatures can experience, but they can be tricky. There’s any number of issues that can pop up when dealing with them, just a few of which we’ve mentioned above. Whatever your issue, the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you. You can call us anytime for a totally confidential conversation about orgasm or any aspect of sex, anytime you need to talk.

Don’t miss out on the better, stronger, easier, healthier orgasms that you deserve.

Call us now at 213-291-9497.

Valentines in the #MeToo Trumpocalypse Comments Off

This Saturday night, February 10th, 2018, The Dr. Susan Block Show will get ready for Valentine's Day, the High Holiday of Love, in the midst of the "#MeToo Trumpocalypse," with some interesting couples, trouples, singles, pansexualists and "it's complicated" guests. Joining international sexologist and Bonobo Way author Dr. Susan Block and Capt’n Max will be a FemDom/Comedian couple, pro-Domme Mistress Mina and ALT987 talk show host/comedian Jake Dill, kinkster couple Mistress Bella Bathory and Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC) member Siouxsie Q James, plus erotic performers Michael Vegas, Queerella Fistalot, Candy Candaver, Free Speech Coalition science and regulatory affairs director Ian O'Brien, Phoenix Dawn and surprises.

Sex, Medicine & Anal Art for “Labia Day 2017” this Saturday on DrSuzy.Tv Comments Off

This Saturday night, September 2nd, The Dr. Susan Block Show will explore sex, medicine and anal art for "Labia Day," Bonoboville's name for the Saturday before Labor Day. Joining international sexologist and Bonobo Way author Dr. Susan Block will be two of our favorite guests, "Unlicensed Professionals" Catherine Imperio, aka "The Anal Artist," and Samantha Fairley, kicking off their #UnProsTrip on DrSuzy.Tv, plus Sex and Medicine Summit Founder/Director Anita Teresa Boeninger, as well as porn stars Fallon West, Blaten Lee and Logan Long, and our own Gypsy Bonobo , Jacquie Blu, executive producer Capt'n Max, plus more TBA.

Kinky Passover & Easter Eve Res-Erection this Saturday Night on DrSuzy.Tv Comments Off

This Saturday night, April 15th, The Dr. Susan Block Show will celebrate Passover & Easter Eve with a kinky Spring Res-Erection, honoring the Dionysian & Eleusinian roots of both Spring holidays. Joining international sexologist and Bonobo Way author Dr. Susan Block will be Sir Pent and his slavegirls Princess and Fire, last seen in Bonoboville on our Pre-Lupercalia Flog-Fest. plus Mistress Liz, Gypsy Bonobo, Jacquie Blu, Ikkor the Wolf and more TBA.

The Dr. Susan Block Show is produced by The Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, an international center for sexual expression, therapy and education, based in LA, founded in 1991 by Susan M. Block, PhD, world-renowned Yale-educated sexologist, best-selling author and host of HBO specials. The Institute’s mission is to help individuals, couples and communities enhance their sexuality and improve their lives based upon Dr. Block’s philosophy of Ethical Hedonism and The Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure. A portion of all proceeds goes to help save the highly endangered “make love not war” bonobos from extinction in the Congo and to promote the Bonobo Way around the world. Read More

Anti-Inaugural Circus on “The Greatest Sexuality Show on Earth,” The Dr. Susan Block Show, THIS Saturday! Comments Off

This Saturday night, January 21st, The Dr. Susan Block Show will hold an Anti-Inaugural Circus. After over 125 years, Ringling Bros and Barnum and Bailey Circus, "The Greatest Show on Earth," is closing, but the "The Greatest Sexuality Show on Earth," The Dr. Susan Block Show, now going into its 33rd great year, is still going strong. Of course, the circus that is just now "coming to town" is the new Trump Administration, and what they appear poised to do to the environment, including many endangered species, will make the Ringling Bros. look like PETA.

Joining international sexologist and Bonobo Way author Dr. Susan Block, and Capt’n Max this Saturday under the "Big Top" of the Womb Room will be a veritable circus of exciting mistresses and submissives, artists and exhibitionists, U.S. Presidential candidates and wild human animals. In the first ring will be roleplay fetish specialist and human animal trainer Madame Margherite and "Monkey" Andres Rey Solorzano, winners of the 2016 SUZY Award for "Best Animal Act," plus an Elephant and a Unicorn who will perform circus tricks. In the next ring will be U.S. Presidential Candidates Mistress Tara Indiana, winner of the 2016 SUZY Award for "Best Presidential Candidate," and Jeffrey Vallance, winner of "Funniest U.S. Presidential Candidate," weighing in on the Inaugural Circus. In the third ring will be artist/Mistresses Sheree Rose ("Best Blast from the Past" winner) & Rhiannon Aarons ("Best Boobie Cake Plate" winner), authors of the soon-to-be-released Book of Medicine. Also joining us will be DrSuzy.Tv virgin and Dominion submissive Bambi Leigh + Gypsy Bonobo and Jacquie Bl Live-Tweeting by Del Rey @RadioSUZY1

No doubt, our entertainment will be more A-List than Trump's!

Capt’n Max Bday, Guy Fawkes Day, Bonobo Way Anniversary & Pre-Election Day Madness this Saturday, Remember, Remember, the 5th of November on DrSuzy.Tv! Comments Off

This Saturday night, November 5th, The Dr. Susan Block Show will celebrate Capt'n Max's Birthday, Guy Fawkes Day, pre-Election Day madness and the two-year anniversary of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure. Married for over 24 years to international sexologist and Bonobo Way author Dr. Susan Block, Capt’n Max, a.k.a., Pr. Maximillian R. Lobkowicz, was the pioneering publisher of the first “reader-written” media such as the LA Star, Love, Hate, Finger, The Brentwood Bla Bla and Beverly Hills, the Magazine. Together, Max and Dr. Suzy founded Bonoboville, both a new social-media and a real “socialist/capitalist,” pro-sex community in Los Angeles, known for producing the first reality-based sexuality programs, convivial “Speakeasies,” bonoboësque gatherings, erotic art exhibitions, bacchanalian soirées, life-changing lectures, sex-educational seminars, and priceless moments of communal ecstasy, with a portion of all proceeds going to help save the highly endangered real bonobos in the wild.

Joining Capt'n Max and Dr. Suzy this Saturday will be our favorite pansensual power couple, Daniele Watts (we'll also be celebrating her birthday!) & Chef Be*LIVE, "Unlicensed Professionals" Catherine Imperio & Samantha Fairley (it's Sam's bday too!), Rhiannon Aarons, Elvis Schoenberg & Gina Anderson, Ikkor the Wolf, Jacquie Blu, Sarah Bella Bonobo, Jay Toriko, Gypsy Bonobo Siouxsie Q James of the Free Speech Coalition ( Vote No Prop 60 on November 8th!) and Luzer Twersky who will be accompanied by a Loki Films crew documenting his transition from the Satmar Hasidic community to Hollywood and Bonoboville for a Netflix Original Documentary (!). Plus Putin Puppet Theater featuring TrumpBaby and Hillary-on-a-Stick!

Click Here to RSVP to attend this sure-to-be amazing show in the “Speakeasy” studio audience and share pleasures under the palms of Bonoboville this Saturday, or call 626.461.5950 (you can call anytime; someone is always here). Studio doors open at 9:30 pm. Studio Members FREE. Membership Has Its Pleasures.

Bondage Phone Sex Therapy Comments Off

Call Now [callus]

by Susan M. Block, Ph.D .

Freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second.

Do you like to be tied up by a Dominant Mistress or Master? Do you enjoy erotic bondage, handcuffs, shackles, ropes, collars, straightjackets, spreader bars, harnesses or four of “Christian’s” grey silk ties fastened securely around your wrists and ankles? How about being blindfolded, hooded, muzzled, dominated, restrained by a ball gag, locked up in a chastity belt, strapped down to a medical examination table, put into a posture collar, led around on a leash, shut up in a cage, zipped into a sleep sack, suspended from the ceiling, put into a sling, turned into a piece of human art with beautiful Japanese Shibari rope work, tied spread-eagle to a four-poster bed or latched onto a St. Andrews's Cross while being spanked or flogged? Do you get aroused by bondage—in fantasy or reality... or perhaps a bit of both?

Sexy consensual bondage games are not unusual. People have been incorporating erotic restraint into sexual play since before there were people! Non-human animals, like bonobos, indulge in consensual erotic bondage games when they playfully hold each other down during sex, a fairly frequent occurrence. We know it's "consensual" since sometimes it's the smaller bonobo "holding down" the bigger, stronger bonobo. Humans practice consensual bondage play even more, partly because our great ingenuity has enabled us to create so many elaborate and effective bondage devices.

Though many erotica and bondage experts don't appreciate the superficial and sometimes wrongheaded style of 50 Shades of Grey, the huge worldwide popularity of the 50 Shades books and films, has given bondage a new level of acceptance and respectability, both in mainstream society and in the media.

Nevertheless, bondage or “BDSM” (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission and Sadomasochism) is still controversial and quite taboo in most human communities, making it a very difficult world to navigate or even talk about for many people.

Whatever your bondage fantasy or reality, the world-famous telephone sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, including several BDSM specialists and experienced FemDoms, Dominant males and submissives, are just a phone call away. Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, we're here for you. Call us now at 213.291.9497.

Exploring fantasies is a great way to start your BDSM adventures. The safe, consensual exploration of domination fantasies can be a fantastic, peaceful channel for some people's violent impulses, preventing them from actually hurting anyone, including themselves. It can involve sexual psychodrama, safely releasing aggressive forces that lurk deep in our subconscious where they can be more destructive. BDSM can even help to reduce domestic violence. If it can help keep bonobos from killing each other, maybe it can even help humans to create peace on Earth.

While "surrender" means defeat in war or business, in LOVE or sex, surrender can be sweet, and the ultimate expression of intimate fulfillment. Since society puts such pressure on all of us--male and female--to be powerful, to achieve and to succeed, deep in our erotic imaginations, many of us may long to surrender.

In bondage (even consensual bondage), the submissive is “forced” to surrender.

This creates some very interesting sexual dynamics. The ancient Taoist masters say, "In yielding, there is strength." In surrender, there can be power. Many strong men fantasize about surrender, about being a sex object--being seduced, spanked, pegged, ravished, even raped--“forced” to perform various sexual acts, often while in some sort of restraint.

Considering how many ladies balk at being considered sex objects (though many enjoy it too), this may sound silly to some women, but lots of men crave it, within certain boundaries, of course. Some men find that being dominated, especially when tied up, actually removes performance anxiety. After all, if you can't move, you can't perform, so what’s there to be anxious about?

Some guys love to struggle against their restraints, building a rush of adrenaline, then surrendering to ecstasy. It’s a form of athletic eroticism that many great athletes adore. After a big win on the football field or basketball court, they relax by “losing” to a sexy Mistress or Master who puts them in bondage and dominates them into blissfulness.

Of course, many women (and men) are frightened by a man’s submissive desires. They are afraid that because he craves surrender, he is not much of a man. They think he must be some kind of wimp or weirdo, which is one reason that many men find it difficult, if not impossible to talk about their desires for bondage or submission with the women they love.

In reality, it's mostly high-powered men who yearn to surrender sexually. Perhaps this is because nature seeks a balance, but many successful businessmen, weary of their responsibilities and stresses, long to be infantilized, objectified, taken advantage of, to surrender control for a brief period in their day or heavy work week, a vacation from responsibility, a chance to be a little boy again, or maybe a girl.

Many submissives just want someone sexy to push them into doing things they're afraid to do on their own. Some find that fear increases arousal. A little fear enhances sex like a little seasoning spices your meal, but remember... too much spice spoils the meat.

Some men long to surrender to an exciting woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it--or even demand it--from them. Many enjoy anal penetration, the body’s ultimate surrender, often combined with a form of bondage. Some respond to humiliation fantasies, being “forced” to do embarrassing things, to atone for their “sin” of arousal.

Some like to be spanked. Sometimes, though not always, this is because they were spanked as children. Partly because our society is so negative about sex, many people—men and women--fantasize about being punished, or forced against their will to have sex, often involving some kind of bondage. That way, they don’t feel so responsible and can just relax and enjoy the sensations. Now, of course, just because someone has a rape fantasy does not mean they really want to be raped. Nobody really wants to be raped. But lots of people fantasize about it. And consensual bondage provides a plausible, relatively safe “setting” for such a fantasy.

A word to the wise: Learn what you’re doing before you do too much! Read books on the subject of your interest, take a class and/or study under a knowledgeable Master or Mistress.

BDSM, like mountain climbing, skydiving and driving a car, can be dangerous if not done properly. Be careful about what you do and with whom you do it.

What if your desires are more dominant? As long as your real-life activity is "safe, sane and consensual," there's nothing wrong with expressing your Dominant desires. But the requirement to learn what you're doing--whether you're putting your slave in bondage or getting her or him out of it very quickly in an emergency--is even more important when you want to dominate.Keep in mind that it may seem like the dominant partner is in control, but it should be that the submissive's threshold of pain that is the determining factor.

In fantasy, where we use our brains and words to live out these desires in the erotic theater of the mind, these safety rules do not apply; the sky's the limit, and you don't even have to know how to tie a knot.

Then again, there are also different types of "emotional bondage" or "mind control," sometimes involving erotic hypnosis, which can be just as restraining in fantasy as reality.

It can be very confusing... and arousing! So if you need to talk about it privately, whatever your bondage fantasy or reality might be, the world-famous telephone sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, including several BDSM specialists, experienced Dominants and submissives, are just a phone call away. Anytime you need to talk or webcam, 24 hours a day, we're here for you, and you can call us at 213.291.9497.

Easter Eve DTEASE Res-Erection on DrSuzy.Tv with Unlicensed Pros Saturday March 26th! Comments Off

This Saturday night, March 26th, The Dr. Susan Block Show will celebrate Easter Eve with a scintillating "SEX ROCK RES-ERECTION." Joining international sexologist and Bonobo Way author Dr. Susan Block live in-studio will be sensational glam/punk/sex-rock band extraordinaire The DTEASE, accompanied by the super sexy, funny and fun DTEASERS (aka the Unlicensed Professionals), that dynamic duo of Punk Rock Renaissance Woman Catherine Imperio and Punk Princess Samantha Fairley.

The DTEASE, featuring the dashing, guitar-smashing Wilson Gil (lead vocals), wowed us at the old Downtown Speakeasy in Stagebrother and the DTease, winning the 2012 SUZY Award for "Sexiest Musical Performance," and they are sure to RES-ERECT our excitement this Easter Eve.

Any serious DrSuzy.Tv fan knows the fabulous Unlicensed Professionals, two of Santa Barbara's finest artists, models and comediennes, winners of many Bonoboville awards and accolades over the years, including 2015 SUZYS for “Most Artistic Anus” ( Cate) and “Best Funny Faces” (Sam). We can't wait to see them!

[gallery link="file" columns="4" ids="52314,52315,52310,52309"]

Click Here to RSVP to attend this show in the “Speakeasy” studio audience or call 626.461.5950. Studio doors open at 9:30 pm. Studio Members FREE. Membership Has Its Pleasures.

"EASTER EVE SEX ROCK RES-ERECTION with The DTEASE on DrSuzy.Tv" will broadcast LIVE from Bonoboville on The Dr. Susan Block Show Saturday night, March 26h, 2016, 10:30pm-Midnight PST. It can be viewed on DrSuzy.Tv or in Bonoboville where you can also chat live in the Bonoboville Studio.

Call-In During the Live Broadcast: 1.866.289.7068. Tweet comments and questions @RadioSUZY1 and @DrSuzy. Listen Free or Watch the live show at DrSusanBlock.Tv. This week’s live broadcast sponsored by Sybian, Condomania, Glyde America ALL-VEGAN Condoms, Agwa Cocoa Leaf Liqueur, Ron de Jeremy Rum, JuxLeather and Wein-Erotik-Edition.

The Dr. Susan Block Show is produced by The Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, an international center for sexual expression, therapy and education, based in LA, founded in 1991 by Susan M. Block, PhD, world-renowned Yale-educated sexologist, best-selling author and host of HBO specials. The Institute’s mission is to help individuals, couples and communities enhance their sexuality and improve their lives based upon Dr. Block’s philosophy of Ethical Hedonism and The Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure. A portion of all proceeds goes to help save the highly endangered “make love not war” bonobos from extinction in the Congo and to promote the Bonobo Way around the world.

GIVE THE BONOBO WAY! CLICK HERE TO READ OUR RECENT RAVE REVIEWS & INTERVIEWS

Make 2016 your Year of the Bonobo and get your copy of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure.

Curriculum Vitae Comments Off

Susan M. Block, Ph.D. 8306 Wilshire Blvd. suite 1047, Beverly Hills, Ca. 90211
Phone (213) 670-0066 • E-mail [email protected]
Education
	1970-1973 Harriton High School, Rosemont, Pennsylvania Editor-in-Chief of Harriton Forum (campus newspaper), President of Philadelphia Model United Nations, Lead in High School Plays (The Fantastiks, Annie Get Your Gun, Fumed Oak), Captain of Debate Team, President of Anthropology and Archeology Club, Member of National Honor Society, Harriton Poetry Award, DAR Citizenship and History Award, Tri-State American History Achievement Award, Voted “Most Artistic” by High School Class of ’73. Internship with WCAU-TV Channel 10, Philadelphia 1973 -1977 Yale University, New Haven, Connecticut Bachelor of Arts with Distinction in Theater Studies, Magna Cum Laude Yale Dramat, WYBC-FM, Yale Daily News, Yale Hillel Sunday School Teacher (undergrad) As Yale alumna: Guest lecturer at Yale sponsored by Rumpus Magazine, the Chai Society and Saybrook Master’s Teas, and consultant to Eric Rubenstein, founder of award-winning, biannual campus-wide event “Sex Week at Yale” in 2002. Speaker at Sex Week at Yale ’04, ’06, ’08 and’10. Produced Yale projects, events and shows at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy in LA, including the Yale Annex at the Speakeasy (2004), Whim ‘n’ Rhythm (2006) and Zorthian at Yale (2005) 1984 -1987 Pacific Western University, Los Angeles, California Master of Arts in Philosophy with a Degree in Psychology Master’s thesis on why and how men and women use personal ads to find relationships which became Advertising for Love, published by William Morrow, forecasting the modern explosion of personal advertising and the current pop culture of Internet dating sites and online social networks. 1987 -1991 Pacific Western University, Los Angeles, California Doctorate of Philosophy with a Degree in Psychology Doctoral thesis on Toni Wolfe’s “Four Aspects of Womanhood” published by Random House as Being a Woman with Dr. Toni Grant, and became a New York Times and LA Times Best-Seller 2012 Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, San Francisco, California Doctorate of Arts, Honoris Causa 1974-Present Studies at Other Schools, Programs and Universities 1974 Yale Summer Abroad in Afghanistan, Pakistan, India and Nepal 1975 Summer at Naropa Institute, Boulder, Colorado 1980-81 University of California at Berkeley Masters Program in Journalism 1981-83 San Francisco State University Masters Program in English 1983-84 More University Masters Program in Human Sexuality 1994-Present Block Institute
Professional Experience
	Sex Therapy 1991-Present– Founder and Director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences. The foundation of the Institute’s sex therapy system is based on the principles of Dr. Block’s world-renowned philosophy of the Bonobo Way of “peace through pleasure.” The Institute treats most so-called “sexual dysfunctions” i.e.: sexual arousal disorders, low sexual desire, erectile dysfunction, unwanted sexual fetishes, disturbing erotic fantasies, lack of sexual confidence, communication issues, dating anxiety and sexual obsession. The Institute also treats destructive sexual habits (sometimes called “sex addictions”), premature ejaculation, difficulties achieving orgasm and other orgasm disorders, including painful sex and sexual problems caused by stress, fatigue, aging changes and other environmental, family and relationship factors. In addition, the Institute treats adults suffering from the lingering effects of sexual assault, incest, childhood trauma and religious sexual abuse. We also help individuals and couples, claiming no dysfunction, to lead more stimulating, creative and rewarding sexual lives. This system utilizes, in-depth, Kinsey-style client interviews and analysis, erotic theater therapy, fantasy role-play, Masters & Johnson techniques, G-spot, P-spot and PC muscle exercises, fetish exploration systems, sexual confidence building, the “sperm wars” view of monogamy, sensate focus touching, intercourse and outercourse, compassionate S/M and bondage play, bonobo therapy, issue-focused phone sex therapy, transgender facilitation, erotic hypnosis and many other “pleasure sex” techniques that the Institute has successfully used to help thousands of men, women, couples and communities around the world to enhance and enjoy their sexuality in a multitude of traditional and innovative ways. This not only improves their sex lives, but has a positive and rejuvenating effect upon other aspects of everyday life including but not limited to, general health, work, creativity, self-esteem, family and social relationships. 1991-Present– Director of operations in therapeutic services, research, development, education, art, entertainment, and media. 1994-1995 – Developed The Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure as described in The 10 Commandments of Pleasure 1996-Present – Established and maintains the Bonoboville community with co-director Maximillian Lobkowicz (husband since 1992), also called Villa Piacere and Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy, first in the Hollywood Hills, then in Downtown Los Angeles and now located in an 8000-square-foot renovated 1950s motel in West Los Angeles. “Bonoboville” is a pro-sex, socialist community of ecosexual artists, technologists, and therapists living, working and playing together in a cooperative community, inspired by The Bonobo Way. 1988-Present– Private practice sex therapist with over 6000 international clients, from Los Angeles to Saudi Arabia. 1985-1991 – Developed and operated the world’s first telephone dating services 1985-1991 – Founder and President of Block Party Enterprises Radio/TV/Film/Internet 1991-Present Producer/Host of The Dr. Susan Block Show on TV, radio and internet, broadcasting live every Saturday night 10:30pm-Midnight PST. The show consists of monologues on various subjects connected to human sexuality, calls from people seeking help with various sex and relationship issues, and interviews with such renowned personalities as Bettie Page, Gloria Allred, Xaviera Hollander, Nina Hartley, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Betty Dodson, Nancy Friday, Joanna Angel, Timothy Leary, Dita Von Teese, Christopher Ryan, Janet Hardy, Sabine Lichtenfels, Abby Martin, Ron Jeremy, "Fat Mike"of NoFX, Bonnie Rotten, and Axel Braun. 2015-2016 Malcolm Jones & the Women of the Bonobo Way Female Empowerment Outreach Project. The Dr. Susan Block Institute presents “Sex Calls” from the archives of The Dr. Susan Block Show. 2015 Featured guest interviews on Playboy Radio, Tangentally Speaking, Love, Lust & Laughter, LA Talk Radio and others. 2014- Present – Founder of Bonoboville.com: Social Media Grown Up. 2005-2015 Block Films’ Zorthian: Art & Times featured at Zorthian & Yale Tribute and Zorthian Ranch Primavera. 2005-2010 Block Films’ Squirt Salon and Blonde Island: Funk Me featured in Barcelona Erotica Film Festival, Cinekink NYC Film Festival and LA Erotica Film Festival 1998-Present Guest Sexpert on various shows on KGO-810 AM in San Francisco. 1997-1999 Host of The Dr. Susan Block Show on KMAX-840 AM in Los Angeles 1996-Present Star of Radio Sex TV with Dr. Susan Block on HBO and HBO specials, as well as Real Sex segments and upcoming appearances on HBO’s Cathouse series. 1995-1997 Co-host of The Nasty Man Show on KLOS-95.5 FM in Los Angeles 1995-1997 Host of The Dr. Susan Block Show on NPR Satellite Radio 1991-1995 Host of The Dr. Susan Block Show on the Independent Broadcasters Network (IBN), syndicated on over 100 stations nationwide. 1990-1991 Host of The Susan Block Show on KFOX-93.5 FM in Redondo Beach/LA. 1990: Created RADIOPHONE, transmitting radio shows via telephone, thereby making it available to anyone in the world with a phone—very handy in pre-Internet times. 1988-1990 Host of Match Nite on KFOX-93.5 FM in Redondo Beach/LA. 1987-1988 Host of Date Nite on KIEV-870 AM in Glendale/LA. 1984-1986 Host of Radio Match on KIEV-870 AM, sponsored by The LA Weekly. Frequently featured guest on multiple radio and TV shows, on all the major networks, from Oprah to Today, Nightline to Inside Edition; and featured expert on many documentaries from Hollywood Women and Hollywood Sex on the BBC to Bettie Page on E! Entertainment, and Infidelity on the new Oprah Winfrey Network. In addition, the Dr. Susan Block Institute and Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy have been featured on many documentaries and TV shows around the world, including an upcoming feature film by award-winning filmmaker Canaan Brumley entitled Speakeasy. Publications Books Contributor (Foreword) to Ecosexuality: When Nature Inspires the Arts of Love, (CreateSpace, 2015). Contributor to The International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality (Wiley-Blackwell, 2015) Wrote entries on “Sexual Fetish,” “Cuckold,” “Striptease,” “Phone Sex” and “Spanking.” Author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure (Gardner & Daughters Publishers, 2014). Contributor to Female Sexual Function & Dysfunction (Wiley, 2010) edited by Dr. Lauren Rubel Best-selling author of The 10 Commandments of Pleasure (St. Martin’s Press, 1996), a Literary Guild Selection, Doubleday Book Club and Doubleday Health Book Club Selection, now in third English edition and in 11 other languages. Co-Author of Being a Woman (Random House, 1988), a Los Angeles Times and New York Times Best-Seller, with Dr. Toni Grant. Author of Advertising for Love (William Morrow, 1984) Selected Articles published in Counterpunch, Bloggamy and other publications Transparent Evening at the Director's Guild of America (May 2016). The Bonobo Way of Female Power, Domination Directory International (TBA) Proud to be Gay, the Bonobo Way (June, 2015) Squirting World: Secrets, Stories & Techniques of G-Spot Female Ejaculation, (May, 2015) Sperm Wars: Threesomes, Cuckolds, Hot Wives & Evolutionary Biology, (March, 2015) The Bonobo Spring Revolution, (March, 2015) 50 Shades of Holy Crap, (February, 2015) Go Bonobos in the New Year: Make 2015 the Year of the Bonobo, (January, 2015) Anal Food Rape in the CIA, (December, 2014) Bill Cosby’s Sleep Fetish, (November, 2014) ‘Dawn of the Planet of the Apes’ Defames Bonobos, (July, 2014) Hunger Games, Killing Fields: The Terrible Truth about Elliot Rodger, (May, 2014) The 6 Most Common Secret Sexual Fantasies—And What They Mean, (October, 2013) Kegel Karate: How One Woman Learned to Destroy Her Molester with the Power of Her Own Pleasure, (August, 2013) Galloping Petraeus, (November, 2012) Capt’n Max’s Big C Battle, (March, 2012) Spankology 101: The Psychology, Physiology, Art, History, Politics & Eroticism of Spanking, (July, 2011) Lupercalia: The Original Valentine’s Day, (February, 2011) My Porn Star Girlfriend, (November, 2010) The Alchemy of Scary Sex, (October, 2010) Secret Sexual Fantasies, (February, 2010) In Defense of the G-Spot: Yes, Virginia, It Does Exist!, (January, 2010) Inside Both Heads of the Crotch Bomber, (January, 2010) Tiger’s Wood: Love Cablinasian Style, (December, 2009) Sex, Death & Michael Jackson, (June, 2009) “Sinful” Sex Addiction: The Newest Way to Demonize Sexuality, (April, 2009) Washington Witch Hanging, (May, 2008) Merry Masturbation Month, (May, 2008) Bonobo Bashing in the New Yorker, (July, 2007) Dr. Laura’s Little Monster, (May, 2007) Hookergate II, (May, 2007) Valentine Chemistry of Love, (February, 2007) The Spent Milk of Human Foley, (September, 2006) Queen Esther & the Art of Seduction, (March, 2006) Hookergate, (June, 2005) America Wants a Divorce (December, 2005) Weimar Love Story (November, 2005) Katrina Speaks (September, 2005) My Adelphia Story (January, 2005) The Counter-Inaugural Ball: Eros Day 2005 (January 2005) Faith-Based Sex (December, 2004) Blue Values (November, 2004) America in tha Hood (May, 2004) Bush’s POW Porn (May, 2004) Rape of Iraq (April, 2003) Cockfight at the Baghdad Corral (September, 2002) The Great Pretzel Swallower’s Guantanamo S&M PR Disaster (January, 2002) Patriot Act UnPatriotic (November, 2001) We Are All Afghans Now (October, 2001) Sex, Terror, Jerry Bin Foulwell & the Raving Castrati (October, 2001) Beyond Terror (September, 2001) Chemistry of Love and Lust (February, 2001) Freelance journalist for LA Magazine, LA Weekly, SF Bay Guardian, New Haven Advocate, Metro, Boulevards, and other publications. Special Positions and Memberships Director of the Block Bonobo Foundation dedicated to educating the public about bonobo sexuality as well as helping to save them from extinction, and Bonoboville, an online community of people inspired by the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure Professional member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists(AASECT) Professional member of the American Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, Documentary Film Division. Professional member of the Los Angeles Press Club Professional member of the Radio Television News Association of Southern California Expert Witness and Consultant to LA Public Defender’s Office and LA Alternate Public Defender, Sex Crimes Division, working on various criminal cases requiring expertise in transgendered culture, BDSM practices and fetishes. Awarded “America’s Greatest Thinker” by Great American Think-Off Presentations 48th Annual Conference of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors & Therapists: “The Bonobo Way: An Alternative Great Ape Paradigm for Human Sexuality” at Condado Plaza in San Juan, Puerto Rico. DomCon Los Angeles: “The Bonobo Way: A New FemDom Paradigm for Humanity” at LAX Airport Hilton, in Los Angeles, California. 2016. 5th International Conference on the Future of Monogamy and Nonmonogamy: “The Bonobo Way: Consensual Nonmonogamy Among Non-Human Primates” at University of Berkeley in Berkeley California. First Symposium on Ecosexuality in the Caribbean: The “Bonobo Way” Keynote at University Puerto Rico Mayagüez. 2016. Lecturer at Yale University, Cal Tech, USC, UCLA and SFSU on Human Sexuality, Female Sexual Function and Dysfunction, Male Sexual Function and Dysfunction, Sexual Fetish, Sexual Fantasy, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot, The Bonobo Way, Sex and God, Sex and Religion, Sex Toys, Masturbation, Sex and University Life, The 10 Commandments of Pleasure, The Chemistry of Love and Lust, Sperm Wars and Monogamy, Exhibitionism and Voyeurism. 2016. 2012 Lecture, The Bonobo Way: An Alternative Great Ape Paradigm for Human Sexual Behavior, Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS), 2012 Lecturer for various groups and organizations from The Lifestyles Organization (TLO) to The Young Presidents Organization (YPO), Center for Inquiry, MENSA and Taste of LA. Ongoing.


References (contact info upon request)
	Sheila Nevins, HBO, Senior VP Documentary Programming, NY, NY Mary Miller, PhD, Dean of Yale College, Sterling Professor, Yale University, New Haven, CT. John Klutke, MD, Professor of Gynecology, Keck School of Medicine, University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA. Robert Israel, MD, Director, Women’s Health Clinics, Obstetrics and Gynecology, Keck School of Medicine, University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA. Patti Britton, PhD, Sexuality Professor, Trainor & Clinical Sexologist, Los Angeles, CA. Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD, Psychology Professor, University of Pennsylvania, Phila., PA. Steven Binman, PhD, Forensic Clinical Psychologist, Los Angeles, CA. Barry Fisher, JD, Civil Rights Attorney, Century City, CA. Dorion Sagan, American Science Writer & Essayist, Madison, WI Christopher Ryan, PhD, Author, Podcast host, Barcelona, Spain

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