“Sex comes to most of us with a twist.”
―Iris Murdoch, The Nice and the Good

Kink is in the air, whether it shocks you to your core or leaves you wanting more.

Kink is everywhere, in the clothes you dare to wear, the body parts you bare, the language(s) you speak and even the foods you eat.

Kinks of various kinds pervade art, entertainment, media, technology, business, sports, gaming, politics and protest, not to mention human sexuality, romances, relationships and your deepest secret fantasies.

Personally, I enjoy a variety of kinks (see below), and I often mix them, like tasty spices and saucy sauces, into the main meal of my marriage.

As a sexologist and sex therapist in private practice for over 30 years, as well as a talk show host  and best-selling author who deals with sensitive sexual subjects, I’ve helped thousands of people to accept, express and enjoy their kinky feelings, handle their related problems, and share their kinks and fetishes consensually with fellow adult kinksters, or even with someone new. Very often, helping someone to handle their kink(s) is a gateway to guiding them into a better, healthier, happier life in general.

So… how kinky are you? Do you want to be kinkier? Or maybe not so kinky?

Is your favorite kink an erotic pleasure beyond compare or a deep dark secret you’re afraid to share?

Or is it a complex kinky combo of the two?

The Joy of Kink

Come with me on a fascinating, stimulating, sex educational journey  through the dazzling and powerful, yet often perplexing and hazardous world of kink in history, art, entertainment, relationships, fashion, food, religion, politics, protest, love, war and your brain.

First, let’s define our terms. In conversation, dissertations and pillow talk, people use the word “kink”  to convey a multitude of ideas, objects, turn-ons, turn-offs, activities and fantasies in a million different ways, some of which are “kink-positive,” others negative, and many are very confused.

Virtually any fetish could be considered kinky, though a kink isn’t necessarily a fetish.

So, what does kink mean?

Before the word entered the sexual lexicon, the original meaning of “kink” was—and still is—a “twist,” “bend,” “curve” or “turn,” such as a “kink” in the road or “kinky hair.” The word kink was first recorded in the 1670s as a Dutch nautical term for a twist or knot in a rope, probably related to the Old Icelandic or Norse kikna, meaning “to bend at the knees.”

Over a century later, in 1803, U.S. President and consummate wordsmith Thomas Jefferson took the word “kink” out of the mundane world of ropes and roads and into the psychological realm by writing about a “mental twist, a whim.”

With all those knotty ropes, bent knees and twisted Jeffersonian whims, I’m sure many 19th century individuals *in the know* were saying—or at least whispering—the word “kinky” to describe or at least suggest bent, curvy or twisted sex, as well.

After all, an erotic kink is also a twist, curve or turn away from conventional, “straight” and narrow, “vanilla,” penis-in-vagina (PIV) sexual activity between husband and wife for procreational purposes only, under the covers with the lights out. Anything else would be fair game to be designated kinky, and by the mid-20^th century, it officially was.

The problem was—and still is—that so many people have such strong disapproving opinions about unconventional sexuality, that they can’t resist imposing negative value judgments on kink… even in dictionaries!

I’ll bet you know people like that.  I certainly do.

As of this writing, Dictionary.com defines kink as “bizarre or unconventional sexual preferences or behavior” and the Cambridge Dictionary explains it as “a strange habit, usually of a sexual nature.”

Bizarre? Strange? While these definitions might have some validity—and giggle value (if you’re into poking fun at your own kinks)—they are disdainful and kink-negative.

Sure, some kinks are a little “bizarre,” like my sex therapy client who enjoys getting tarred and feathered, Puritan punishment-style.

Then there’s my ammosexual client who imagines being cuckolded by AR-15-brandishing cartoon characters with even bigger weapons between their legs.

However, kinks can be as sweet and wholesome as apple pie… especially if your kink is for splosh.

With a hat tip to Alex Comfort, whose Joy of Sex: A Gourmet Guide to Lovemaking was a Bible for the Sexual Revolution of the 1970s, come let us explore the joy of kink.

Need to Work the Kinks Out?

“Girl, you really got me goin’
You got me so I don’t know what I’m doin’
Yeah, you really got me now
You got me so I can’t sleep at night”
—The Kinks

In many definitions, “kink” denotes something that needs to be fixed or straightened out…such as “a kink in your back” (ouch!) or the idea that “we need to work out the kinks.”

That could be true, as The Kinks themselves would sing, your kinks could keep you up all night or get you into trouble.

However, it’s just as possible that exploring your kinks—consensually and responsibly—turns out to be one of the greatest, most exciting, most meaningful, healing, enlightening and therapeutic parts of your life.

It could even work out that nasty kink in your back!

Is a Fetish a Kink?

A kink can be physical or psychological, and usually, it’s both.  The same is true of a sexual fetish, which is a profound, undeniable, erotic desire for something. It can be anything, but not just anything.

A fetish is something special—at least, for the fetishist. It could be for an inanimate object, activity or situation. It could be a yearning for something, perhaps an article of clothing, such as high heels, lingerie, a boot or a burqa; or a body part, like breasts, butts, feet or hair. One could also have a fetish for an activity, like watching, being watched, spanking or being spanked; or a situation, such as a mistress/slave, teacher/student, doctor/patient, seductress/neophyte, goddess/gangbang or cuckold/hotwife/bull relationship.

Some psychologists call this strong, deep-seated, sometimes compulsive, erotic need a “paraphilia,” but that’s medically loaded, so we’ll stick with “fetish” for now.

Whatever the fetish object, activity or situation might be, the fetishist invests great power into it. The fetish object might exude great sexual power for the fetishist, great religious power, or perhaps a mixture of both.

In the classic sense, the sexual fetishist requires the fetish object—or at least, a fantasy of the fetish object—in order to have sex. The male fetishist needs this thing, activity, situation or fantasy to get an erection; he cannot get excited without it, and he may become obsessed with it.

For the human female, sexual arousal and fetishism are a little more mysterious and difficult to pinpoint. One could say that the female fetishist needs the fetish object to desire or enjoy sex. More often, it seems that human females attempt to excite male fetishistic desire.

So, what’s the difference between a kink and a fetish?

Technically, the term “kink” doesn’t indicate the same intense need as the term “fetish.” Virtually any fetish could be considered kinky, though a kink isn’t necessarily a fetish.

That’s the clinical difference, but in the real world, there’s a lot of overlap, and people often use the terms interchangeably.

Kink can be good, bad or neutral for the individual, the couple and/or society. Usually, I think, kink is good! Read on to find out why…

Are You into Taboo?

“If I tell you
If I tell you now
Will you keep on
Will you keep on loving me?
If I tell you
If I tell you how I feel
Will you keep bringing out the best in me?
You give me the sweetest taboo…
…. There’s a quiet storm
And it never felt this hot before
Giving me something that’s taboo”
—Sade

Kink can be a little—or a lot—taboo.

It may be as public, legal, harmless and heart-warming as wearing a diamond-studded collar with a heart locket given to you by your beloved spouse.

Nevertheless, there is always a forbidden “Sweetest Taboo,” a transgressive element to kink, something that’s a little (or a lot) “off” the beaten track, with an edge of danger, even if trust is strong and all safety precautions have been taken.

The word taboo stems from the Fijian “tabu,” Polynesian “tapu” and Hawaiian “kapu,” all of which mean “not to be touched.” This is not because the taboo object is gross or dirty, but because it is extremely sacred, a religious object forbidden to the uninitiated.

Interestingly, many such sacred objects were and are phallic in nature, such as a flute, spear, baton or totem pole, or round and vaginal like a bowl, chalice or the Holy Grail.

Of course, these strict prohibitions render the “tabu” very intimidating, but they also make the uninitiated extremely curious and perhaps aroused by touching—or just thinking about touching—that which is taboo.

As the great French mid-20^th century erotic philosopher, Georges Bataille, said, “transgression” is a cornerstone of human eroticism. That is, sometimes we’re turned on by something we also find wrong, shameful, humiliating or forbidden.

In Eroticism: Death & Sensuality, Bataille discussed civilized humanity’s ongoing struggle between sensuous pleasure and shame that generates eroticism and, to a certain extent, kink.

Shame is a horrible feeling… [but it] is also an essential component of the forbidden boundaries that we find so exciting to transgress, tease, crisscross, break, spank, overthrow or just throw out the window of inhibition.

A lot of people use the terms “shame” and “guilt” interchangeably. Though they are related, they mean very different things.

You feel guilt when you feel badly about something you did, like cheating, stealing or hurting someone. In many cases, guilt is an appropriate feeling for having done wrong, though we often blow it out of proportion.

You feel shame when you feel badly about who or what you are. Shame is almost never appropriate but, unfortunately, we all know the feeling. Shame is that terrible feeling of self-blame that comes over us like a hot flash of mortification following a perceived failure, or the fear of being disgraced. Unlike guilt, which is usually over something you did recently, shame is most often rooted in childhood trauma. One of the worst aspects of childhood trauma-rooted shame is that it tends to inhibit us—sexually and otherwise—through adulthood.

So, shame is really bad, right? Well, yes, for the most part, shame is horrible, painful, debilitating, irrational and can lead to harming yourself or others. Lurking fearfully and tearfully among our vast spectrum of emotions, shame can be a monster in penitent’s clothing.

However, as Bataille points out, shame is also an essential component of the forbidden boundaries that we find so exciting to transgress, tease, crisscross, break, spank, overthrow or just throw out the window of inhibition.

Engaging in nonconsensual kinks, like coercive or inappropriate sex, yet channeling those urges through consensual BDSM, is a great way to find that arousing erotic friction, release, adventure and fulfillment.

The consenting adult enjoyment of kink can be a positive, even therapeutic solution to processing childhood trauma as well as everyday problems like stress, anxiety and loneliness, not to mention horniness.

Sexual kinks can cause problems—sometimes big problems, like drug addiction, divorce, crippling shyness, sexual assault and even homicide.

However, if handled with care, they can be the opposite of a problem. Indeed, the consenting adult enjoyment of kink can be a positive, even therapeutic solution to processing childhood trauma as well as everyday issues like stress, anxiety and loneliness, not to mention horniness.

As long as you can handle them responsibly, be grateful for your kinks!

COMMON SEXUAL KINKS

There are as many kinks as there are people.

Actually, there are more, since the majority of kinksters enjoy more than one kink. However, the following are some of the most popular, according to surveys and my own anecdotal (but considerable!) experience as a sex therapist in private practice since 1991, as well as hosting shows and bacchanals celebrating “Kink Month” every October since 2015.

I’ve considered myself kinky since my first Threshold Society play party back in 1989. I was blown away! I only wish I could have read an article like this before I attended that party. Instead, I embarrassed myself by interrupting a scene to ask the smiling, shackled woman at the center of it if she was “all right.” She was. But talk about breaking the mood! Fortunately, she and everyone else there laughed good-naturedly at my naïveté and proceeded to teach me the ways of kink.

Indeed, we can all learn from past mistakes–kinks in the road of life–and hopefully you can learn from some of mine.

If your favorite kink isn’t here, never fear! Check out our “What Can We Talk About?” page, call my show on Saturday nights (626.461.5212) or, if you need to talk privately, call our kink-positive Therapists Without Borders anytime: 213.291.9497.

The ABCs of BDSM

Though there are almost as many different kinks as there are stars in the sky, a lot of them fit under the Big Tent of BDSM, which breaks down to Bondage & Discipline (B&D), Dominance & Submission (D/s); Sadomasochism (SM).

If you want to engage in BDSM play, I recommend you study this ancient, somewhat esoteric practice, preferably with an experienced BDSM practitioner, then start light and gradually ease into more intense activity. Take classes at DomCom (check out DomCon 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020) or other BDSM conventions, or splurge on private instruction.

When engaged in responsibly, the safe, sane and consensual (SSC) exploration of BDSM can be an excellent, peaceful yet exciting and very bonoboësque channel for erotic power exchange. A step beyond SSC is RACK: Risk-Aware Consensual Kink.

That may sound like alphabet soup, but SSC RACK can be a way to express violent impulses without hurting anyone, including yourself. It can involve sexual psychodrama, safely and imaginatively releasing aggressive forces that fester in our subconscious, so they don’t explode into destructive behavior.

In our modern militaristic, ammosexual culture, it’s no surprise that many of us have violent fantasies and desires. Of course, acting on these fantasies nonconsensually would be unethical and criminal, not to mention heinous. So… what to do about them?

Complete suppression is usually the only solution on the table, even though it has long been proven to be ineffective and, for many, impossible.

What about BDSM? It’s certainly no panacea, and kinksters can be abusers like anyone else. However, the conscientious practice of safe, sane and consensual BDSM can effectively channel these feelings, even helping to curb domestic violence and perhaps other types of violence as well.

Studies have yet to be done on this subject, but based on over three decades of experience as a sex therapist, a relationship counselor and a kinkster, I say: Yes! Kink can be that healing.

Can conscientious kink practice help to foster conditions for world peace? Considering the chances of WWIII, it’s worth a try. So, on a recent FDR podcast, we sounded the antiwar kinkster’s *battle cry*:

MAKE KINK NOT WAR!

Domination & submission

“There’s a new game
We like to play you see
A game with added reality
You treat me like a dog
Get me down on my knees
We call it master and servant
It’s a lot like life…
Domination’s the name of the game
In bed or in life
They’re both just the same
Except in one you’re fulfilled
At the end of the day
Let’s play master and servant”
―Depeche Mode 

Consensual sexual domination—when one partner takes charge and the other voluntarily gives up their power—is a cornerstone of kink, and submission is its flip side. D/s could involve body worship, impact play, bondage, humiliation, sissy maid service a “money slave” relationship or any number of other activities involving power exchange.

This seems like a good time to note that the kinky *games* old Tommy Jefferson played with his longtime sex slave Sally Hemings were wrong because he actually—legally—did own her. We will never know if Sally had a good time with Tom because she was never allowed to make that choice to be with him. Unlike Sally, a consenting adult kinky BDSM “slave” can choose to stop the scene and/or leave any time they want. Their “slavery” is just an illusion (or should be). Nevertheless, it can be very powerful.

It’s also very popular. According to a 2016 study in the Journal of Sex Research, 47% of women and 60% of men fantasized about dominating a partner. A YouGovAmerica study showed that 53% of Americans say that they enjoy dominance or submission, with the most common answer (28%) being that they like being both at different times. About a third (33%) say that they don’t want to be either dominant or submissive, while 14% either don’t know or “prefer not to say.”

Something tells me that those that “don’t know” or “prefer not to say” are the kinkiest of all. My guess is that they enjoy some kind of submission since folks tend to be most embarrassed to admit to that…

It’s funny how ashamed so many of us are of our yearning for sexual surrender; even though, when you think about it, surrender is an essential aspect of orgasm.

However, surrender may be expressed in some seemingly odd and disturbing ways, like humiliation, i.e., being stepped on literally or figuratively, sexually denigrated in some fashion—such as being called a “dirty slut,” “worthless turd,” “pencil-dick,” “piggy bank” or “cum receptacle.”  To an outside observer, this might seem crazy; why would someone get aroused from being degraded and seemingly exploited?

The answer is complicated and varies from person to person. For example, if humiliation is your kink, you might have a sexual anxiety so great—such as fear you’ll be exposed as the horny loser you think you are or that someone will laugh at your penis—that your libido actually floods your bloodstream with arousal to kill the (emotional) pain before it kills you. So yes, your humiliation kink might be saving your life.

Freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second.

Nevertheless, it’s confusing, unnerving and can be very tough to talk about… even though talking about it with someone who cares and understands is often the best thing for you.

If you’re struggling with your own desires for humiliation or other controversial forms of erotic domination, it might benefit you to talk with a therapist, a very knowledgeable dominatrix or another kink professional.

The Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute are experts in these areas, and your confidentiality is guaranteed. Call us anytime you need to talk: 213.291.9497.

Bondage

Bondage, aka restraint, is a popular kink, and not just because of those kinks in the ropes!

I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again: Freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second.

Besides those eternally kinky ropes (jute being a favorite), types of bondage might include handcuffs, shackles, collars, straightjackets, spreader bars, harnesses or four “50 Shades of Grey” silk ties fastened securely around your wrists and ankles. There’s also psychological bondage. Before engaging in certain types of bondage, you might sign a “binding” contract which, though it lends a certain seriousness to the proceedings, probably wouldn’t hold up in a court of law.

In a typical bondage scene, you might also be blindfolded, hooded, muzzled, dominated, restrained by a ball gag, locked up in a chastity belt, strapped down to a medical examination table, put into a posture collar, led around on a leash, shut up in a cage, zipped into a sleep sack, suspended from the ceiling, put into a sling, turned into a piece of human art with beautiful Japanese Shibari or Kinbaku, tied spread-eagle to a four-poster bed or latched onto a St. Andrews’s Cross while being spanked or flogged.  Then again, for some of us, the kinkiest form of (psychological) bondage is the wedding ring.

For more about bondage and how it can be used for pleasure, adventure, personal discovery and healing therapy, click Bondage Therapy.

Spanking

“Dick and Jane were on a date
Dicky said it’s getting late
How’s about a little kiss?
Well, Jane grabbed her ankles and said how about this:
Why don’t you smack my bottom?
Smack my bottom!
Won’t you smack my bottom ’till my tiny little heiny glows?”
—The Wetspots

To spank means “to strike or slap the buttocks, usually with the palm of the hand,” according to Webster’s. Spankings may be given for real punishment—as in spanking children against their will—or pleasure—as in spanking among consenting adults.

Spanking children isn’t kinky; it’s child abuse.

On the other hand, erotic consensual adult spanking is one of the most popular kinks there is, whether or not you were spanked as a child.

The pain-laced pleasures of adult “erotic spanking” range from light slaps on the butt during lovemaking to more formal, over-the-knee (OTK) roleplay to a mistress smacking her naughty slave’s reddened rear within their D/s (dominance and submission) lifestyle.

Here at the Institute, we love consenting adult spanking of all kinds, including impact play with whips, floggers, paddles, books (read it or get red from it!) or belts—with or without roleplay.

We certainly do a lot of spanking on DrSuzy.Tv, especially on certain holidays like Spanksgiving, Lupercalia, Krampus, Full Moons, Happy Nude Rear parties, birthdays and all through Kink Month. Not only do many of our shows—from Spanking the tRump Turkey on Spanksgiving to Lupercalian Whipping to A Spankophiliacs Delight (warning: this one includes very hard spanking)—feature impact play, we have created several excellent spanking education resources for you.

Want more? Of course, you do! Click on these links:

• Spanking for Dummies (beginners start here)
• Spank ‘n’ Art Speakeasy Journal
• “Erotic Spanking” definition in Wiley-Blackwell Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality
• Spankology 101
• Spanking Phone Sex Therapy

Body Part Kinks

Breasts – The most common all-American fetish might be the one so many men—and a lot of women—have for the female chest, perhaps connected to our deep need for nurturance. Find out more about breasts, boobs, nipples, mammaries, lactating, the all-natural bosom vs. surgically enhanced porn star boobs, coitus a mammalia and more—plus what it all means and how it can (seriously!) heal you—under Breast Therapy.

Buttocks – Coming in for a close second as America’s (and the world’s) favorite fetish would be a “nice butt”… but what is “nice”? What’s the bottom line? That depends on the fanny fetishist, their culture and personal taste.  Some “like big butts and [they] cannot lie.” Others prefer cute little buns, a heart-shaped ass, a strong muscular posterior or a soft cushy tushy, a panty-clad bottom or a stripped bare derrière. Some butt-lovers are into , doggy-style, spanking, squeezing, licking or worshipping that fine behind.

But… what about the person with the “nice” butt? Assuming all is consensual (no pinching without permission!), the bottom is truly the “seat” of human pleasure, physiologically speaking, with lots of touch-responsive nerve endings that are in deliciously close proximity to the genitalia. Since there also tends to be a fair amount of padding down there, it is not so sensitive to consensually administered pain. And yes, a lot of people have a fetish for having their own butt played with! For more about butts, see the Spanking Links above or click on .

Feet – A kink for feet is a little less common than boobs or buns, but foot fetishists are a passionate bunch. Not that they usually come in bunches, as many are embarrassed to admit to their kink. Nevertheless, once upon a time, here at the Institute, we held fabulous Foot Fetish Salons with massage, tickling, trampling and foot bondage workshops, followed by shrimping cocktails and tequila toe shots, a few of which are featured in our classic Feet for Lovers video.

For more foot fetish information, try playing footsie with these links:

• Feet: A Love Story
• Foot Fetish Therapy
• High Heel Therapy
• Nylon Stocking & Pantyhose Therapy
• Boot Therapy
• Tickle Therapy

Ejaculate – Male and female ejaculation are normal aspects of sex and climax. Most of us enjoy orgasm, of course—though women squirting is controversial and even banned by some governments that confuse female ejaculate or amrita with urine.

However, some people have an intense fetish for cum (or come). This is one kink that is probably enhanced by frequent porn-viewing—especially in terms of male orgasm or semen—as so much of straight and gay male porn focuses on the “money shot.”  In case you’re wondering why “ejaculate” is in this Body Part section, it’s because just before you shoot, your cum was part of your body.

Medical Kinks

How about “playing doctor”? Are you aroused by giving or receiving a medical exam or other “sexy nurse,” doctor or patient fantasies? These are some of the more common medical kinks, and with hospitals and health workers of all kinds looming large through the Coronapocalypse in our lives and in the media, medical fantasies are more popular—though also more taboo—than ever.

Knowledge is power, and sexual knowledge is sexual power. 

One rather controversial type of medical kink that’s been in the news is the anesthesia or sleep fetish, an offshoot being Sleeping Beauty Syndrome, which actor Bill Cosby was convicted  of engaging in nonconsensually, though that conviction was overturned.

Obviously, pharmaceutical and medical kinks like this can be extremely dangerous when pursued irresponsibly. However, kink-positive therapy and sex education can help you to enjoy them in a safe, sane, consensual manner.

Exhibitionism & Voyeurism

Almost everyone wants to see and/or be seen. These are the driving forces of voyeurism and exhibitionism, as well as the entire entertainment industry (not limited to porn) and social media.

What does it mean to be seen? To be seen is to be immortal, if only for a moment, through the eyes of another. Triumphant. Shining like a star. Recognized. Celebrated. For that moment, you might feel you rule the world. You are an “influencer”—of billions or just one special witness to your wonderfulness. That’s the thrill of exhibitionism.

What about seeing? To see is to go behind the curtain, to gain knowledge of the taboo, a taste of the apple or the delicious eye (or ear) candy, the euphoria of esoteric awareness.

Knowledge is power, and sexual knowledge is sexual power. No wonder you feel so excited and even powerful when you see someone or something special that turns you on. No wonder we all can appreciate the erotic thrills of voyeurism…

We may or may not call ourselves voyeurs. However, at least sometimes, all of us like to watch.

Pansexuality

Do you enjoy sex with more than one partner… maybe even at the same time? Are you drawn to threesomes, swinging, orgies, play parties, designer relationships or consensual gangbangs? Perhaps you’re not such a party animal, but you still like sexual variety, preferring polyamory, which means “many loves,” not just many lovers.

Call it communal ecstasy… like you’re at the best concert ever, plus orgasms.

Whether you’re only fantasizing or living the dream, all of these sex and relationship forms could be considered “kinky,” since they are all nonmonogamous. Most human societies around the world promote, endorse and sometimes compel “monogamy”—which has different meanings, but generally entails being sexually exclusive with one person for life—usually the person to whom you’re married.

There’s nothing wrong with monogamy. In fact, for me personally and probably for most people, private couple sex is the most intimate, meaningful kind of sex there is. However, there is also something very special and truly wonderful about the “collective joy” (with a hat tip to Barbara Ehrenreich) of group sex that partner sex simply cannot duplicate. Call it communal ecstasy…like you’re at the best concert ever, plus orgasms.

In a way, nonmonogamy is more natural than monogamy. That’s why so many people cheat!

Bonobos, whose Latin name pan paniscus conveys their affinity for pansexuality (named for the Greek god Pan, Lord of the Wild), are our closest great ape cousins. Along with common chimpanzees (pan troglodyte), bonobos have been practicing consensual nonmonogamy for many thousands of years—at least. Moreover, the bonobo *brand* of nonmonogamy is a cornerstone of their lifestyle, since it is a vital aspect of the bonobos’ ability to make “peace through pleasure” in their communities.

Do bonobos ever get jealous? Of course, they do. But love is not a zero-sum game for them, and they just have ways to work it out through sex and affections. For instance, among humans and bonobos, the best cure for a lover’s quarrel (as long as it’s not over anything serious) is kinky make-up sex.

Our Great Ape nature is to share our love and lust, yet most of our strictly monogamous human societies denounce pansexuality in all its various forms, sometimes condemning it as “Satanic,” and certainly giving it that taboo quality that can turn any natural erotic feeling into a kink.

Of course, I’m just scratching the surface of pansexuality here, so click on the links with the pansexual kinks that most appeal to you:

Group Sex Therapy
“Sex at Dawn” interview with Dr. Christopher Ryan
“Ethical Slut” interview with author Janet W. Hardy
American Swing
Multiamory Show
Designer Relationships
Gangbang Sex Therapy
Pansensuality Show
Pan in Lupercalia 2020
Bonobo Nonmonogamy lecture
Bonobo Nonmonogamy journal
#GoBonobos in 2022

Cuckolding

“She’s my best friend’s girl
But she used to be mine”
—The Cars

Cuckolding is a special kind of pansexual kink, and the cuckold is a very special kind of kinkster.  He (though “cuckqueens” exist, the typical cuckold is a “he”) is sexually aroused by the fantasy or reality of his sexual partner—usually his wife, girlfriend, or a woman he finds attractive, often called a “hotwife”—having sex with another partner, most likely a virile, well-endowed man, called a “bull.”

Cuckolding could be centered on consensual kink—which is usually best for all involved—or it could involve cheating (not recommended). Cuckold fantasies are extremely common; in part, because they are driven by a basic biological phenomenon called “Sperm Wars.”

However, many cuckold fetishists feel torn and fraught with anxiety over being aroused by something so denigrated in society. Ironically, that conflict itself tends to create greater arousal. Like most kinks, it’s best to accept the desire for cuckolding, though it need not always be acted upon in real life.

For more about cuckoldry, click…

• Cuckold Erotica definition in Wiley-Blackwell Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality
• “The Cuckoldress” on Tv
• The Cuckoldress Journal
• Sperm Wars video
• Sperm Wars article
• Politics & Cuckolding: Paul Manafort
• Cuckold Jerry Falwell Falls
• Church-Based Cuckoldry Gone Wrong
• Cheating Phone Sex Therapy
• Cuckolding Phone Sex Therapy

More Kinks More Fun

Don’t see your particular kink or fetish listed here? Have no fear! There are many more below, and even more on our “What Can We Talk About?” page.

And here’s an even more extensive List of Kinks, as well as here and here, with everything under the sun, including the sun itself, which some people with “actirasy” find arousing. See, it’s not just bikinis that turn on the beach bums.

Gender Fluid Kink

Nowadays, “gender” is a psychologically and politically freighted term. People have strong ideas about what’s right and wrong in all shades of the gender spectrum (who you are)—as well as in terms of sexual orientation (who you like)—and some are fighting hard for their ideas to gain or maintain acceptance. There’s a lot at stake.

Adding erotic fuel to the gender fires, arousal isn’t always politically correct. In fact, it’s often unintentionally the opposite of what you believe is “right,” as part of the excitement of kink lies in its taboo nature and shock value.

True transgender people aren’t necessarily kinky, and their transition isn’t a kink; it’s their life.

Some call it “the best of both worlds.”

On the other hand, there are many folks of all genders who enjoy crossdressing or sissification just for the kink of it. For some, especially the sissies, the more politically incorrect, the kinkier!

On the other side of the equation, there are many folks who have a kink or fetish for lovers who are transgender.

Something about the combination of so-called male and female characteristics drives some sexually people wild.

It’s more popular than you might think, since many trans admirers are embarrassed to talk about it.

It may be politically incorrect to say, but some call it “the best of both worlds.”

Need to talk privately about your trans interests, desires, problems or fantasies? Call our Therapists Without Borders anytime at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you.

Kink in Nature

Humans aren’t the only kinky creatures on the planet. In fact, I often call bonobos the “kinkiest apes on Earth” as they enjoy many of the kinks I’ve described here.

That is, they engage in a variety of consensual erotic behaviors that are not for procreation purposes, or really any *purpose* other than pleasure. Keep in mind that pleasure is a very important, worthy purpose, especially in Bonoboville. That simple exchange of kinky pleasures makes bonobos the Most Peaceful Apes on Earth, never seen killing each other in the wild or captivity. Kink is also the basis for bonobo bisexuality, ecosexuality, bonobo female empowerment, male well-being and bonobos’ penchant for sharing, making them the Most Socialist Apes on Earth, as well.

Does that mean if humans were kinkier, we’d be more peaceful, female-empowered, male-nurturing and egalitarian? Does being consensually kinky mean valuing lust over greed?  I certainly think so, and that’s one of the principles of “releasing your inner bonobo” through practicing The Bonobo Way.

Humans and bonobos aren’t the only ones. Many nonhuman animals indulge in kinky activities. Haven’t you ever had a dog hump your leg?

I’m not trying to encourage bestiality (on the contrary), so hold your horses on that notion (then again, Adam Driver as a centaur is pretty hot). I just want you to rest assured that, in general, your kinks are perfectly natural, and we perverted humans aren’t the only kinksters-in-residence on this planet.

Most of nature is quite kinky.

It’s the dirty—as in polluting—aspects of humanity that are the problem… not our kinkiness!

Pro Tip: Just because kink is as natural as any kind of sex doesn’t make it good. If you want kink–or any kind of sex–to be good, you have to learn a thing or too. But then, that’s why you’re reading this!

Kink and Culture

Though the rest of nature is at least as kinky as we are, over the millennia, we humans have put our unique anthropocene spin on kink through our culture, art, architecture, technology and politics.

It’s difficult to say just where erotica ends and “regular” art begins—especially “in the beginning.”  Arguably, the first form of human performance art may well have been kinky dancing. The oldest sculpted art piece in the world, the Venus of Willendorf (24,00-22,00 B.C.E.)—big breasts, belly, hair and a distinct vulva, but no face—is pretty kinky. Is it goddess worship or prehistoric objectification or both? Some have even called it a sex toy.

Heresy? Hardly. Many of the most respected artists in history, now enshrined in our most honored museums, including the Vatican (hello kinky Michelangelo), were considered kinky in their day.

Revolutionary art like Picasso’s Cubist Demoiselles of the brothel—as well as fascist, state sanctioned art, like Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will—can be considered kinky, twists and bends in the ropes of tradition that shock and disturb some people, while arousing and inspiring others, and sometimes shocking and arousing at the same time.

Of course, kinks of all kinds can be found in popular music. From the Beatles to Marvin Gaye, Prince, MJ, Depeche Mode, Sade, Cardi B, Lil Nas X and the list goes on, musicians have thrived on kink. And let’s not forget our favorite kinky song, inspired by the Bonobo Way, that you often hear during kinky scenes on DrSuzy.Tv, Carmina Formosa’s “The Kinkster.”

Special mention goes to that great British Invasion band of the 1970s, The Kinks, whose name is the same as this article and whose hit song “Lola,” about a comic-romantic encounter with a crossdresser, would now be considered politically incorrect but back then, was revolutionary, wry and very kink-positive.

 Kinky Fashion

“It will make or break him
so he’s a got to buy the best
cause he’s a
Dedicated Follower of Fashion”
—The Kinks

Kink is a huge part of fashion, from the boudoir to the Met Gala to the street.

One of the most popular categories of fetish clothing is “intimate” wear, including lingerie, stockings or pantyhose, panties, high heels, boots, corsets and more. However, any type of fashion can be kinky, such as a latex catsuit, a cowboy hat, a bikini, a nun’s habit, superhero costume—whatever gets you off when you put it on.

The late great Bettie Page was the 1950s icon of fashion kink, an influencer long before there were influencers, setting the tone for many generations to come. Check out my extremely rare 1996 interview with the incomparable Bettie Page.

Sultry Dita Von Teese, who attended our Bettie Page interview when she was just 19 and who did another interview on DrSuzy.Tv while engaged to the ultra-kinky and controversial rock star, Marilyn Manson, is another paragon of kink fashion.

Texture is as important as style, popular choices being leather (deliciously animalistic, but politically incorrect for animal rights sympathizers), lace (somewhat see-through and oh, so romantic), latex (gives you that slinky second-skin feeling) or nylon (divinely stretchy, semitransparent and nostalgic).

Uniforms are often considered kinky, including military (all branches, but especially sailors), school, athletic, police, firefighter, nurse and the uniformed fashion kinks march on.

Conveying eroticism, beauty, horror, mystery and mastery, as well as concealing the mask wearer’s identity, the mask has been an important part of kinky fashion… since there were masks (going back at least 9,000 years)!

One could say, in a way, masks have always been kinky—twisting and turning the features of the human face to obscure one’s identity or for dramatic effect. As of this writing, with the Coronapocalypse still raging off and on, masks are also protective (as they were against various plagues throughout history). Learn more about kinky, sexy masks in “Masks Are Sexy.”

Some fashion isn’t so obviously kinky—like business suits, chef’s aprons or skating skirts—but kinksters-in-the-know just know.

Very often, kinky clothing connects to another kink, such as adult baby diapers connect to golden showers and mommy fantasies.

As in all types of fashion, there are trendsetters. Celebrities contribute a lot to kinky fashion, though they also copy it, from Madonna to Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Cardi B, Miley Cyrus, Kanye, Beyonce and so many more, serviced by subtly (or not so subtly) kinky high-fashion designers like Thierry Mugler, Alexander McQueen and Versace, influenced by underground sex workers, Goth gals and Dominatrices.

Sometimes, kinky celebrity fashion goes beyond boots and masks into kinky emotional territory. As I write this, Kanye West is now the world’s most famous cuckold. Obviously, watching his ex-wife Kim Kardashian dating Pete Davidson is agony for Ye. But as he actively milks it for all it’s worth, blasting his public disgrace all over social and mainstream media, he also appears to be in the throes of a kind of celebrity cuckold’s ecstasy.

Literary Kink

One of the best, most sapiosexual ways to get yourself and/or your partner into a kinky mood is to read something stimulating. But what?

You might be surprised to find that some of the best kinky erotica is in the Bible. Yes indeed, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners, sing Hallelujah and open your Old Testament to the Song of Songs and the Book of Esther, both surprisingly sex-positive. For sex-negative kink, consider hanging with the guys in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Anaïs Nin’s Delta of Venus is classic early 20^th century erotica, much of it kinky, which the great diarist wrote during the Great Depression for a dollar a page. More emotional and subtly kinky are her famous diaries; read them unexpurgated.

Some of the finest, most taboo, profoundly eloquent and absolutely riveting, literary kink is in the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy (no relation to Bill Cosby’s sleep fetish!) beginning with The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, written by the great Anne Rice (who just passed away) under the kinky pen name of A.N. Roquelaure. Many years ago, before the Interview with the Vampire author got mega-famous, I had the honor of interviewing her for an article I was writing for the San Francisco Bay Guardian about “interesting couples.” Anne’s intensely romantic relationship with her husband, Stan Rice, whom she’d met in high school (and who happened to be my English professor and chairman of the San Francisco State University Master’s degree program), was certainly “interesting.” Though the great author was much more conservative than hippie me, I was very impressed by Anne’s deep love for Stan, as well as her sparkling brilliance, wit, gothic horror stories, and her signature *kinky nun* look—high-collared white lace blouse and black maxi-skirt that matched her bangs crowning her cascades of jet-black hair. A couple years later, when I was just learning about BDSM, a more experienced kinkster turned me on to Anne’s Beauty books, and I was blown away.  A woman of many literary facets, Anne also wrote the famous erotic novel Exit to Eden under the pen name Anne Rampling, though that didn’t have the impact (for me) of her penetrating, no-holds-barred, no topics-off-limits Beauty books.

As I reflect upon Anne’s death (12.11.2021), I feel her Thanatos-enraptured spirit has come home. I also realize that Anne Rice opened an erotic dungeon door for me with her kinky Beauty.  Indeed, Anne and Stan Rice were my role models for a very special kind of wild, creative, romantic but enduring, and rather kinky love, inspiring my own marriage to Capt’n Max.

I’d also recommend the excellent kinky erotica of a few of my favorite DrSuzy.Tv guests: Stan Kent (on Urban Erotica, Pyrophilic Bday Spanking Gangbang, Spring Showers and more) tells a captivating tale of British boarding school impact play, Caning Able, that will make you laugh as it turns you on, and Eden Baylee (on Female Masturbation Education) explores intimate seasonal kink in Spring into Summer. Rachel Kramer Bussel (on Shameless Erotica and Daddy Please!) has penned and edited many great kink books, including Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, an excellent kink primer for an adventurous duo. Most of Rachel’s marvelous books and anthologies are released by Cleis Press, a major publisher of great kinky erotica and how-to books.

I’ll also mention one kinky mega-bestseller that I didn’t particularly like: 50 Shades of Grey. Due to a confluence of forces, this ultra-poorly written trilogy managed to generate a huge and passionate interest in kink from typically kink-ignorant, conservative, sex-negative and fairly sex-starved, suburban matrons. Despite—or maybe because—it’s so poorly written, it struck a nerve that showed the world at least one, very important, widely overlooked phenomenon: the most unlikely women crave kink.

Need more? Read more…
55 Most Erotic Books
Click for Some of Rachel’s Picks

Cinematic Kink

Films are filled with kink, whether the filmmakers intend for them to be kinky or not. It can be good or bad, light or dark, kink-positive or very negative, and your feelings about it have everything to do with you, your tastes and your desires.

Of course, kink is very popular in porn—to the point you often can’t tell where the porn ends, and the kink begins. The fact that most modern human societies offer very little in the way of explicit sex education leaves pornography as virtually the only alternative. These days, porn is so ubiquitous, it has almost as much effect on our sexuality—positive and negative—as friends, family members and role models. Thus, many people blame what they have been told is their porn “addiction” for their more controversial kinky desires.

Porn might enhance or refine your desire for certain types of kink, but it is hardly ever the root reason you feel that desire.

We can also find plenty of kink in mainstream movies where it is often presented in a negative, misinformed light, but occasionally it is handled with care, sensitivity, humor, wisdom, great artistry and intense eroticism.

Here are just a few select films and TV shows that feature kink(s). Some link to trailers, and others to the entire film. This list is by no means comprehensive or even a “best of,” just a jumping off point for your kinky film-watching endeavors.

• Rear Window, 1954 (Voyeurism)
• Peyton Place, 1957 (Adultery)
• Bye Bye Birdie, 1963 (Cuckold)
• Dr. Strangelove, 1964 (War Fetish)
• The Graduate, 1967 (MILF, Cougar)
• The Night Porter, 1974 (Sadomasochis)
• Henry and June, 1990 (Threesome)
• Y Tu Mama También, 2001 (Sperm Wars)
• Secretary, 2002 (BDSM, Spanking, Office Sex)
• 40 Days and 40 Nights, 2002 (Chastity)
• The Handmaid’s Tale, 2016 (Religious Repression)
• The Handmaiden, 2016 (Bondage)
• Zola, 2021 (Strippers)
• Dune, 2021 (Masks)
• Euphoria, 2022 (Male Frontal Nudity)

 I’d lustily recommend all these movies and many more, but unsurprisingly, I can’t recommend 50 Shades of Grey (2015) any more than the badly written book of the same name… though the slickly produced, rather bland film did introduce some aspects of kink—and, unfortunately, a lot of misinformation about kink relationships—to millions of mostly fresh eyeballs.

That film factoid in and of itself is kinky.

Culinary Kink

Food and sex are two of the most basic, universally needed elements of life. Combine them, and it’s kinky!

Here in Bonoboville, splosh is one of our favorite kinks. Check out Dr. Susan Block’s Speakeasy Journal of Splosh ‘n’ Art featuring Daniele Watts, Chef Belive and a big yummy, kinky mess.

Kink and Fantasy

“There is no limit to imagination
I’m into every type of stimulation
Getting kinky is an excitation
I gotta have that kink!”
—Carmina Formosa

Fantasy may be reality’s much-maligned stepsibling, but it is a huge part of human consciousness. For better and for worse (mostly worse these days), many people live in fantasy more than reality.

Kinky, vanilla or a multi-flavored combo, your sexuality is fueled by three basic types of fantasy. There are…

1) Fantasies of your past, aka your memories filtered through time…
2) Fantasies of your future, aka your hopes and dreams, and…
3) “Pure” fantasies—wild reveries that never happened and that you never really want to have happen—but which haunt and stimulate you like a kinky parallel universe.

Kinky fantasies rise and fall like waves rippling through your brain—regardless of whether you want them to or not. You may be able to control your actions, including your speech, but you can’t control your thoughts. So don’t make like the “thought police” and bust yourself for your kinky fantasies

You might be able to force yourself to think or not think about a particular subject for a while, perhaps via distracting yourself with something else. You could try not to watch porn. As many experts advise, you could watch a cooking show, go for a walk, do yoga, call a friend, get into gardening, read a book, volunteer at a soup kitchen or maybe go to Church instead.

All of that sounds good, but is any of it really a substitute for sexual fantasy (unless you’re sitting there in the pews fantasizing about your smoking hot minister)?

Sooner or later, you will find your mind wandering back to whatever is playing in the Erotic Theater of Your Mind… which could well be that troublesome fantasy, whatever it might be.

Fantasy is not reality; often it’s the opposite. However, sometimes a troublesome fantasy indicates a real-life problem that should be addressed. But what if you feel you can’t talk about it with anyone in your life? Maybe not even with your spouse. Maybe especially not your spouse. Or what if you’ve tried, but they’re not interested—or what if they lashed out at you?

If that’s your situation, you might consider talking with a therapist, someone who won’t judge you and who might be able to help you make sense of your feelings, as well as realize you’re not alone.

Though kinky fantasies can be problematic, they can also provide hidden mental health benefits, killing the pain of trauma and fear with arousal.  Think about it: If erotic fantasies never played in your mind’s multiplex, then your inner horror movies—or just the constant awareness of your own anxiety—could give you a heart attack!

So, be grateful for your kinky fantasies; they are gifts!

Just as your dreams can help you to cope with your real-life problems, so can your fantasies, though they tend to do so when you’re awake. Your kinky fantasies can also be keys that unlock the doors of your repressed personal history.

Sexual fantasies and erotic dreams, especially when accompanied by orgasm and perspective (not necessarily in that order), can help to release the stress and trauma of past abuse, bullying, sickness and suffering. They can also help you relive good sexual memories. However, your fantasies aren’t just about your past. They can also prepare you for the future. Fantasies can be hazy or detailed rehearsals in the erotic theater of the mind for sexual acts you haven’t yet experienced.

Kink is international, non-denominational, and even beyond human; remember, Mother Nature is a kinky MILF.

Your sexual fantasies evolve and change as you do. If they are troublesome in any way, it might be helpful to share them with a sex therapist who can help you to put them in perspective—through discussion, kink-positive roleplay, sexual psychodrama, hypnosis and other techniques—reducing their negative power over you.

For various reasons, many people struggle against their own fantasies. However, fighting fantasies is like fighting ghosts… they’re slippery creatures! Rather than fighting a losing battle, I suggest you find ways to “make friends” with your fantasies— including the kinky ones.

You may not want to act out all your kinky fantasies in real life—and you probably shouldn’t—but you can accept them as very personalized gifts from the Erotic Theater of your Mind, and use them to release stress and come to terms with the many layers of your sexuality.

You might want to explore them over the phone where you can close your eyes and enter the Erotic Theater of the Mind without worrying what you or the person on the other end of the phone looks like or what you’re really doing. Then you can explore your kinks together on the dark fertile ground of your imaginations.

Kink & Politics

Politics and kink have long been intertwined, at least since Caligula made his horse a senator.

And then there was Napoleon’s message to his beloved Cougar Josephine: “I’m coming home. Don’t wash.” The great Bonaparte apparently had a kink for strong, natural, feminine aromas.

In fact, the relationship between kink and politics is much older than that. We can trace its origins to the earliest expressions of religion which, as a general, almost universal rule, tends to ritualistically mix kink with politics, even while solemnly condemning kink as sinful.

Sound confusing? Consider the first book of the Old Testament which has “the Lord,” a supremely sadistic voyeur with a penchant for painful punishments, punishing His naughty children, Adam and Eve, for cavorting with His forbidden phallic Snake and biting into His delicious taboo apples that then magically make them feel both horny and ashamed. Then they have sex and cover their nakedness with those fetishistic fig leaves, ruining God’s Original All-Nude All-the-Time Floor Show.

Looking at the Judeo-Christian human origin story this way—which may be kind of funny, but isn’t such a stretch—you could say that all of humanity’s kinky desires stem from God the Father’s original, unreasonable and eternal abuse of His Children (us).

No wonder we have a chronic epidemic of sexual harm inflicted upon the young by the clergy… who are, at least in the Catholic faith, expected to be celibate. Talk about kinky—as in twisted!

From the Biblical to the historical, kink has always been political. As the sapiosexual folks at Karada House say, “Kink does not exist in a vacuum… it cannot be separated from politics, history and lived experiences.”

That doesn’t necessarily make kink more or less liberal or conservative, Democratic, Republican, Libertarian or Socialist. It doesn’t make kink Abrahamic, Asiatic or atheistic. Kink is international, non-denominational, and even beyond human; remember, Mother Nature is a kinky MILF.

Good kink is a little more narrowly defined, being, above all, consensual.

However, many consensual kink activities are based on nonconsensual forms of domination, torture, gender debasement and trauma practiced by various political and religious groups and individuals. For example, floggers, whips and canes have been used—and are still used—to nonconsensually punish, coerce, hurt, intimidate and dehumanize real prisoners, slaves and nonbelievers.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t thoroughly enjoy a consensual flogging; of course, you should!

However, awareness of an item or activity’s political history adds an important layer of meaning to your kink experience.

At the turn of the 20^th century, kink rose to the forefront of politics with the kink-weaponized Starr Report, featuring sex that’s “not sex”—which is actually a great definition for kink!—including teasing, phone sex, oral, a cigar, DNA on a dress and the lasciviously detailed, Puritanically-driven impeachment of President Billy Jeff Clinton.

Some political activists use kink to entice an audience and make a point. For instance, a topless FEMEN protestor, with the words “God is a Woman” written on her bare chest, grabbed the baby Jesus from the Saint Peter’s Square Nativity scene before a Vatican cop stopped her, inadvertently becoming a player in her kinky political theater scene.

Kink and sex in general can be a leaky business, especially when combined with politics, so one should always be prepared to either plug that leak or go with the flow.

Another great example is my longtime friend and DrSuzy.Tv guest, Mistress Tara Indiana, who ran for President in 2016 on the Female Supremacy Party ticket, promising to “whip America back into shape, one middle-aged white man at a time.”

When she lost that election to Trump, Mistress Tara formed a FemDom collective called “Dominatrixes Against Donald trump” (D.A.D.), aka “Women Who Pee Standing,” to “highlight the hypocrisy, injustice and double standard that’s applied to sex workers and the politicians that hire them. A Dominatrix who pees on Trump can be sent to jail, while Trump can pay to be peed on and he gets to be President.”

D.A.D. did a very kinky political performance art piece on DrSuzy.Tv, spanking and humiliating a Trump surrogate, forcing him onto his knees to take it from behind and then onto his back where several of us squatted over him to give him the golden showers referenced by the Steele Dossier.

I ran my own kinky U.S. Presidential campaign back in 1992 (on the Block Party ticket, of course) and was Vice Presidential running mate to the late great kinky political poet Frank Moore’s 2008 U.S. Presidential Campaign. Much of my own writing combines kink and politics, especially my post-911 Terror Journals and other Counterpunch articles.

Obviously, I’m very open about my own kinks, but most people prefer to keep their kinks private, and I strongly believe in the right to that privacy.  However… what can you do if and when your secret kinks are leaked by a political rival in the middle of your election campaign?

You could lie and deny like Trump, or maybe tell the truth, like Manhattan City Council candidate Zack Weiner who bravely copped to his kink. It may have cost him the election (though he was already behind… so to speak), but fellow kinksters—many of whom are also voters—will always honor his honesty.

Kink and sex in general can be a leaky business, especially when combined with politics, so one should always be prepared to either plug that leak or go with the flow.

Kink, Trauma and Pathology

Trauma and kink might seem to be diametrically opposed, but they are very much related, as we discussed in our fantasy section. Trauma can contribute to a desire for kink, and caring consensual kink can help to heal past traumas.

First, to be clear, being kinky itself is not a sign of trauma, nor does enjoying fetishes or BDSM imply a pathology or psychological disorder. A Journal of Sexual Medicine study of the Psychological Characteristics of BDSM Practitioners concluded that “BDSM may be thought of as a recreational leisure, rather than the expression of psychopathological processes.”

“Though mental health providers have historically pathologized kinky behavior as ‘Sexual Sadism and Sexual Masochism Disorders,’” according to the Gender and Sexuality Therapy Center’s Healing From Sexual Trauma Through Kink, “there is research that shows people who practice BDSM are less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive, and have higher subjective well-being than non-kinky people. A similar U.S. study found BDSM-identified couples reported less stress as well as increased intimacy following play.”

Over the years, many kink-positive sexologists have helped to slowly remove the stigma of pathology attached to BDSM and other fetishes, but Charles A. Moser, MD, PhD, stands out. Dr. Moser’s “research on kink and his contribution of over 100 scholarly articles over 45 years, most on alternative sexualities, created an evidence-based conversation in psychiatry that coincided with the social changes that have made de-pathologizing kink an intellectually credible effort,” writes Russell Stambaugh, an award-winning sexologist and clinical psychologist who has also made significant contributions to the study and normalization of kink.

Though kink itself is not pathological, the desire for kink is sometimes tied to childhood abuse, early illnesses and accidents, relationship issues, problematic family dynamics, domestic violence, humiliation, schoolyard bullying and other forms of trauma. These kink-fueling traumatic events often occur in childhood when we are most vulnerable and impressionable, but you can also contract PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) leading to kinky desires from being involved in war, occupation, poverty, inequities, climate catastrophe, the pandemic and more.

In this crazy, mixed up, “civilized” world, many are trauma survivors, and some of us are kinksters. Some of us even utilize our kinks to heal the pain of trauma, transforming it into erotic pleasure, restoration and inspiration.

To learn more about the many fascinating intersections of trauma, kink and therapy, check out Trauma Shrink and FemDom Kink, or just continue reading.

Kink Therapy

Since kink is not usually pathological (well, not unless you’re Jeffrey Dahmer), can it be therapeutic? Can practicing consensual kink actually help to heal trauma?

In a way, this entire article is about the therapeutic benefits of kink. The science behind kink therapy is rarely discussed due to the traditional sexual squeamishness of Western medicine, particularly as practiced in the good old Puritanical U.S.A.

Yet the evidence is clear. Biochemically speaking, we know that pleasure is a painkiller (see above). When your kinky psyche associates arousal with the experience of consensual, expected pain (no sucker-punches please!), endorphins rush into your bloodstream, and the pleasure—or even just the anticipation of pleasure—helps you to handle the pain… at least to a point.

When arousal is in the driver’s seat and pleasure is riding shotgun, then pain—both physical and psychological—is forced to take a backseat. In fact, a little bit of consensual pain—or maybe a lot (if you’re a “pain slut”)—tends to heighten the pleasure.  Spanking and other forms of impact play are especially effective, cathartic forms of therapy, as Russian studies have shown, along with our own anecdotal research conducted here at the Block Institute.

Why would someone who was beaten as a child find it healing to be spanked as an adult? The bottom line is consent. A child cannot and likely would not consent to being beaten. But the consenting adult might find that a structured spanking with clear boundaries from someone for whom they feel both lust and trust gives them a cathartic, therapeutic release they can’t get from just talking about it.

Kink can heal the body and mind in a multitude of manners—from relieving stress to building confidence, dissipating depression, reducing painful shyness and working through past trauma.

However, it’s important to note that involvement in kink can also create its own trauma, even among consenting adults, as we’ve seen in recent news stories about celebrity kinksters stepping over the line and into abuse. Best to tread lightly and take it slow, using—and respecting— “safe words,” as you go.

Kink-Positive Therapists Without Borders

“That Puritanical shame still prevails
Cause when the Puritans came all they built were jails.
But we’re living in a modern society
And we can all afford to be a bit more kinky.”
—Rose Kelso

As kink becomes increasingly accepted into the mainstream, more and more forms of therapy are emerging that address it in a healthy way. Kink-positive sex therapy can help individuals deconstruct their past traumas, learn to identify and explore ways to release fears and feelings of shame, as well as truly embrace their always-evolving sexuality.

Whether you need serious psychotherapy to investigate the origins of your kink(s) and/or the best way to handle them or you’d prefer to just enjoy a fun kinky fantasy roleplay—or a combination—our kink-positive Therapists Without Borders here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute are some of the best in the world.

You can experience your kink therapy session via webcam, phone or text anytime you like 24 hours a day. In-person sessions are also available, though our physical facility is temporarily closed due to pandemic concerns. However, we are always open to talk with you!

Need to talk about a kink that you can’t talk about anywhere else? You can talk to us. Call anytime: 213.291.9497. We’re here for YOU… and your kink(s).

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© February 7. 2022 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950. Editorial Assistance on this article provided by Adriana Gomez-Weston and Crysta Swindell.

The post KINK appeared first on Dr. Susan Block Institute.

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. – Oscar Wilde

by Dr. Susan Block.

As the Coronapocalypse continues to rage, with public spaces opening up, closing down and then opening back up again, you might have a couple questions about masks…

1. Should you wear a mask?

Answer: Whether or not you wear a mask is up to you, just like whether or not you wear pants is up to you. You don’t have to do either, but there are consequences.

In the case of no pants, you could get kicked out of places, arrested and/or catch cold. In the case of no mask, you could also suffer all of the above, except instead of just a cold, you could catch Covid-19.

Or you might give it to someone. Maybe someone you care about.

So, personally, I join with the countless scientists and other experts who say YES, you certainly *should* wear a mask when you are closer than ten feet to any breathing human with whom you’re not sheltering, especially if you’re indoors.

But don’t panic! This is not a life sentence. At least, I hope it isn’t. However, better a life sentence than a death sentence.

Lucky for all of us, vaccinations appear to be going pretty well. At first, they were rolling out with the speed and focus of an inebriated elephant threading a needle. But every day, more and more people are getting vaccinated. I received mine, and as soon as you can, you should get yours!

So, there’s hope. Keep in mind that a few years after the deadly, masked-up Influenza of 1918, the world exploded into the sexy, mask-free Roaring Twenties—with hot flappers, cool jazz and wild “speakeasies.”  So, stay positive!

But be realistic.  The death count is over 500,000 and rising, and new Coronavirus strains are continuing to emerge.

Whatever the future holds, if you want to keep yourself and others relatively safe right now, even if you’re vaccinated, you have to cover that kissable mouth and adorable nose of yours with something. Or maybe two somethings. The experts are now encouraging double masking.

That said, I can’t *make* you wear a face mask (let alone two), even via strict domination combined with erotic hypnosis using your favorite fetish as a trigger word. However, stores, take-out restaurants and other establishments have every right to require that you wear a mask within their walls.

That means you either 1) insist on your right to bare your cheeks while the staff (or security cam) films you, making a fool of your totally exposed (and probably bright red) face all over social media, or 2) you do the right thing and wear a damn mask.

Need to talk about masking up, navigating your sex life, relationships, fantasies and realities during the Coronapocalypse? Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213.291.9497. We’re here for you.

Comfort Is Sexy

Having dispensed with Question #1, let’s move on to…

#2: Now that you know you ought to wear a damn mask, how can you make it more fun? With face coverings as “essential” an article of clothing as shoes or underwear (nothing against going commando, but you get the idea), how can you make them more comfortable, cool, effective and most important, SEXY?

Sexy? Say what? Thanks to their practical function, it’s hard for most of us to imagine face masks as something fun, let alone sexy.

But the Coronapocalypse has already drained so many pleasures from life; we need to find them wherever we can. So, why not in our face masks? As a sexologist, I believe it’s important to our sexual health and well-being to make masks sexier.

I for one never look at a guy in a mask and think, “What a weakling! I bet he’s really bad in bed.”

Start with comfort, which is a key to feeling and looking sexy. Let’s be honest: Masks aren’t always comfortable. This is why many people won’t wear them, and the politics is just “patriotic” window-dressing for their feelings. Privileged individuals especially, accustomed to getting their way in life, feel their personal physical comfort to be a top priority, usurping even their own safety, as well as the safety of others.

It’s amazing how many people who wiggle themselves into skyscraper heels or strangling neckties find facemasks unbearably uncomfortable. Fortunately, some very creative people are designing more and more comfy coverings, so perhaps the comfort cravers will soon be satisfied. And it’s a step towards making masks sexy!

Personal Note: Though masks may be uncomfortable, they’re far less uncomfortable than a ventilator. Believe me; I’ve been on one.

Triggered by Masks

“Nothing is more real than the masks we make to show each other who we are.” – Christopher Barzak

For many people, mask mania is more emotional than physical. Some feel *triggered* by masks because they’ve heard (possibly from a certain former U.S. President) that they represent a terrible infringement on their *freedom.*

It’s true that many societies throughout history have made prisoners wear inhuman “masks of shame” and hoods, like those detainees have been forced to wear in Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo and other military prisons. So, these fears of forced masking are not totally baseless, though they have been warped to fit certain political agendas.

Just remember folks, we’re not prisoners of war here! We’re in a pandemic, and we’re being asked to cover our mouths and noses to protect ourselves and our neighbors, not to punish or imprison us.

Another twisted notion is that wearing a mask makes someone appear “weak.” In reality, caring for the health and well-being of others is anything but “weak.” I for one never look at a guy in a mask and think, “What a weakling! I bet he’s really bad in bed.”

However, belief can be a powerful force, even if it’s wrong, unscientific and has more to do with fear and fantasy than reality.

Concerned about being “weak,” cuckolded or “measuring up” in some way? Need to talk about it with someone you can trust?  Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213.291.9497. We’re here to help.

What Do People Think of You?

Behind every mask there is a face, and behind that a story. – Marty Rubin

For some, anti-mask fervor arises from peer pressure; the people in your family, team, neighborhood, political party or religious group actively despise liberals, “political correctness,” socialism and masks, so you do too.

Then, sprinkle a little physical discomfort with that fear of weakness, stirred up within a fervent anti-mask cult that believes the earth is flat, the election was “stolen,” vaccines are the mark of the beast and masks are a government plot to “muzzle” the populace, and the next thing you know you’re storming a shopping mall, demanding your “right” to show off your fuming, spitting mug to folks who really don’t want to see it, let alone be spit on by it.

Refusal to wear a mask indoors during a pandemic is, in this humble sexologist’s opinion, worse than refusing to wear pants… or a seatbelt, both being illegal in the U.S.

It’s more like insisting on your “right” to drive while drunk, endangering not only yourself, but everyone who happens to be on the road with you.

Nevertheless, it’s disingenuous to say that mask-wearing is “nothing” or “no big deal.” Let’s all just acknowledge, it’s a pain in the ass. Well, the face.

Confused? Anxious? Horny? Need to talk? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are highly experienced in erotic matters. So, if you don’t know where to start, no worries! Looking for safer sex through the erotic theater of the mind? Developing a medical fetish looking at all those sexy masked-up doctors and nurses? What sexy alternatives can you explore in the Coronapacalypse? Give us a call anytime at 213.291.9497.

No Glove, No Love? No Mask, Don’t Ask!

Like any article of clothing, comfort depends on style, fabric and fit. Some masks are so bad, wearing them is like having sex while wearing a too-tight condom or, even worse, a too-baggy one.

Actually, in a way, wearing a mask to prevent the spread of COVID-19 is like wearing a condom to prevent the spread of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) or STIs (sexually transmitted infections). For one thing, condoms aren’t terribly comfortable, so why do we wear them? Very often it’s because our partners insist, “No glove? No love.”

The Coronapocalyptic equivalent might be, “No mask? Don’t even ask!”

In fact, Germans have come up with a new term for masks, “gesichtskondom,” or “face condom.” It’s an article of clothing that protects the wearer and others from disease and the exchange of bodily fluids, so it really *fits*!

Also, like a condom, it’s important to wear your mask correctly. Otherwise, it’s pretty useless. Many of those politicians who look dumb (and not at all sexy) in their facemasks are just wearing them wrong.

Make sure your nose is covered and that the mask fits your face snugly, but not so tight, it’s uncomfortable. For combining comfort with protection, choose a breathable, but protective fabric.

Does wearing a mask or a condom makes things completely safe? No, just safer. It’s like we used to say back in the 1990s: There is no such thing as absolutely “safe sex.” There’s only safer sex through outercourse, phone sex and condoms. A condom doesn’t guarantee protection from an STI—after all, the condom could break, or you could put it on or take it off sloppily— so wearing a mask doesn’t guarantee you won’t get or give someone COVID.

In the Coronapocalypse, there is no such thing as absolutely “safe” living. Only safer living through hand-washing, physical-distancing and wearing a damn mask.

Masks can be as liberating as they can be confining.

Masking up is nothing new. What history peeks out at us from behind the masks we wear today?

Hint: Some of it has to do with sex appeal…

Who Was That Masked Man—or Woman?

Humans have been wearing masks since prehistoric times for disguise, protection, performance and seduction. In the Coronapocalypse, we think of our facemasks primarily for protection against COVID-19, but there’s no reason we can’t enjoy them for the other three purposes too.

Hold-up; by “disguise,” I don’t mean you should disguise yourself with facemask to rob your local convenience store. It’s true that one of our most common conceptions of facemasks stems from images of bandits concealing their identities with a bandana before holding up a bank.

Unfortunately, in the Coronapocalypse, some modern thieves have exploited the mask mandate to do just that. This pandemic economy is particularly unjust for the poor and has made desperados out of many otherwise decent people, but that’s no excuse!

Side note: Anti-maskers who believe the “Deep State” is making us wear masks to “control” us are ignoring the simple fact that covering your face makes you harder to identify and control by the government, bots, scanners or your local store clerk. That’s why thieves have always masked up for disguise.

As long as you don’t commit crimes, you might enjoy the fact that your face mask “disguises” you to some degree. If you’re shy, anonymity can even be an aphrodisiac; that’s one reason so many masked revelers have long loved Venetian and Brazilian Carnavale.

In this sense, masks can be as liberating as they can be confining.  You might like going out incognito, wearing a dark, mysterious mask with matching shades, like a spy in a romantic thriller. But please, no stealing, no stalking and no ammosexual accessories (you’re not really a spy)!

Hopeless romantic? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute can help you with your romantic issues, your fantasies, problems and pleasures. Need to talk about something you can’t talk about anywhere else? We can help. Give us a call at 213.291.9497.

 Weapons of Masked Seduction

“If you want to say something and have people listen then you have to wear a mask.” – Banksy

Masks have long been an integral element of theater.

The oldest mask ever discovered dates back 9000 years to 7000 BCE, but the art of making and wearing masks is far older, visible in 30,000-year-old paleolithic cave drawings. Because these prehistoric masks were made of perishable materials like leather and wood, they didn’t survive, but we can see by the cave drawings that the earliest uses of masks were for performance, dance, ceremonies and rituals. Whether dazzling, comforting or frightening, all of these face coverings conveyed some kind of artistic, “magical,” seductive appeal.

Prehistoric masks were the first Weapons of Masked Seduction.

Such theatrical masks continued to be worn in the ancient Greek Dionysian Festivals, Medieval Passion Plays, Guy Fawkes, the Phantom of the Opera and beyond.

Let your body talk. Since people can’t see your face, they will pay more attention to the rest of you.

Personally, I’ve always loved theatrical masks, since I was a Theater Studies major at Yale, especially in the Italian Commedia Dell’Arte tradition, and eventually in my own Commedia Erotica style.

Over the years, as I put on hundreds of masks to assume different roles and for the sheer, playful pleasure of masquerade. Honestly, I never dreamed I’d be wearing a mask to protect me and those around me from death-dealing microbes. But my masked theater experience does give me ideas for making masks—even face masks—fun and sexy.

Many of our theatrical Comic-con culture’s greatest superheroes—from Zorro to Batman—also wear sexy masks, aka “domino masks,” but they tend to go around the eyes instead of over the mouth, Spiderman and the Flash being notable exceptions.

Have you ever worn a mask in a play, cosplay, film, masquerade party, on Halloween, Mardi Gras, Purim, Carnival or Carnavale? Perhaps you *played* a trickster, sexpot, superhero or alter ego. Did it make you feel less inhibited, more adventurous, less constrained by your usual worries of what people might think of you because the real, identifiable *you* was partially hidden?

Take that party-mask energy into face-mask-wearing, and you’re almost guaranteed to be sexy.

Let your body talk.  Since people can’t see your face, they will pay more attention to the rest of you. So, if you’re not already a dancer, model or bootcamp graduate, straighten up that saggy posture and learn to move like you mean it!

Pretend you’re a costume designer choosing accessories; wear a mask that either matches your outfit or contrasts with it in an appealing way.

Try Etsy, Dolls Kill, Forever 21, d.Bleu.dazzled, Redbubble or Stylecaster for fun, festive and mostly feminine masks. If you’re looking for more masculine options, check out this GQ article.

Of course, these cartoon penis masks and vulva art facemasks are great comic erotic conversation-starters (though maybe not church or family gatherings!).

Variety is the spice of life, sex and theater. Wearing the same mask every day is not only very unhygienic, it’s boring. Between utilitarian, fancy, romantic, scary, kinky and crazy, you can wear different masks to suit your varied moods… or perhaps seduce someone special.

But please don’t throw your used facemasks out the car window! The Coronapocalypse is just another aspect of devastating climate change in the Anthropocene. Don’t make it worse by polluting the environment with your dirty old facemasks. Wash used masks or try facemasks like 4ocean, which are recyclable, and the support frames provide extra comfort.

Masks in Asia

Western cultures, with their focus on individual—and corporate—freedom mixed with scorn for “big government” and socialism, appear to have the most trouble persuading their citizens to wear a damn mask.

Even though the idea that our leaders are trying to enslave us through facemasks is extremely illogical and unlikely (they have other ways…), it carries a lot of weight, especially in the United States, Brazil and Europe.

In contrast, East Asian cultures tend to prioritize the welfare of the community over the freedom of the individual. In most Asian countries, wearing a facemask is a sign of discipline, respect and social responsibility, not weakness.

I’d prefer everyone go naked… well, except for the face mask, right now, of course.

Many East Asians have been masking up in public for years to protect themselves and others from airborne sickness and pollution. I imagine some of them also enjoy the psychological “protection” and anonymity masks provide for individuals in crowded public spaces.

Maybe this is why, as of this writing, Asian death rates from COVID-19 are considerably lower than in the West.

Masking Up for God

Covering the bottom half of the face is popular in the Muslim world, but not because of the pandemic.  In traditional Islamic culture, many women wear a veil that covers the whole face except for the eyes, such as the niqab or burqa. Westerners tend to think of the Muslim veil as oppressive, and it can be since it is often required nonconsensually, and only of women, rarely of men.

Personally, I’m not a fan of any kind of cover-up, especially on so-called “moral” grounds. I’d prefer everyone go naked… well, except for the face mask, right now, of course.

My views are based on philosophical as well as personal experience wearing a burqa. When I was 19, I went on a hippie-ish trek through Asia and, while wandering through the rather devout city of Kandahar, Afghanistan, a friendly shopkeeper gifted me with a burqa. I put it on over my clothes and continued my walk around the marketplace, only to collide with another burqa-clad lady and a fruit stand. Nobody was hurt, but the lady was pretty annoyed, I had to pay for a dozen damaged melons, and I never wore a burqa again.

I felt like I was inside a smothering, billowing tent covering everything except for a small window for me to look through, and even that tiny opening was covered with a crisscross fabric, so I felt like I was trying to see through fishnet stockings. Not my style.

Nevertheless, my research and experience as a sex therapist tells me that many women have no such impaired vision issues, and some are actually empowered by wearing the veil. It helps them to feel protected, in control, mysterious, special… and sexy! Some Muslim women tell me that they enjoy being able to choose with whom they share the special gift of their naked face.

On the other side of the tent, many Muslim men say that seeing a veiled woman arouses them precisely because that which is hidden is enticing. It presents a question: What does she look like? And of course, they want to know the answer.

I still don’t like that so many orthodox Muslim communities make women wear the veil for religious reasons—sometimes under pain of violent punishment. On the other hand, Islam isn’t the only religion to force its practices on its adherents. And in terms of the current question—How to Make Masks Sexy?—Westerners can learn a lesson from this undoubtedly sexist, but sometimes intriguingly sexy, Islamic custom.

Takeaway: Wear your facemask like a veil that erotically empowers you.

Need to talk about your experience with religious sexual abuse? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help. You won’t go to hell for it. But you just might feel a lot better. Give us a call at 213.291.9497.

The Eyes Have It

Though a facemask should cover your mouth and nose—and often the chin and cheeks as well—it usually doesn’t cover your eyes. This can be key to making your mask sexy.

As the “windows to the soul,” your eyes are your most powerful Weapons of Masked Seduction.

You could think of your mask as a fan, “making eyes” over it, coquettishly. Whether you make “Smize” (“smiling eyes,” as coined by Tyra Banks), sultry “smokey eye,” cute puppy dog eyes, or squinty tough-guy eyes, you can communicate volumes without moving your lips.

Speaking of lips, you don’t have to put on lipstick while wearing a mask… and you probably shouldn’t as it will smear in all the wrong ways (unless you’re wearing smear-proof). Some good news for folks who get tired of smiling through pain or boredom; you can relax your mouth muscles more with a mask on!

But if you really want to be mask-sexy, you probably ought to step up your eyeliner, shadow, lashes, mascara, etc. routine. Unless you’re wearing dark goggles, your eyes tend to be visible. Careful about how you put on and remove your mask, or you might take off a false eyelash along with it (I’ve done that!).

Masks So Scary They’re Sexy

Yes, scary masks can be very sexy on the right person in an arousing scenario.

Always keep things consensual and safe and try not to trigger traumatic memories with your masked fun and games.

That said, a pinch of fear is like spice in your enchilada… though too much spoils the meat.

So, what turns you on? Zombie sex worker? Frankenstein’s Bride? Sexy Freddy Kreuger? Gasmaskgirl?

There are a million sexy monsters to choose from; just make sure your monster mask covers your nose.

Scared of sex? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help. Whether your fears are well-founded, pure paranoia or something in between, we can help. Give us a call anytime at 213.291.9497.

The Plague Mask

Perhaps the quintessential “scary mask” for the Coronapocalypse is the “Plague Mask.”

Somewhere between sinister and magical, with an elongated, bird-like beak and large, circular eyeholes, sometimes framed by crystals, the “Plague Mask” was originally worn during the 17^th century (not the Middle Ages, as many believe) to protect “plague doctors” from catching the disease that was killing their patients.

The giant leather beak shielded the wearer’s mouth and nose, somewhat like a facemask, plus it was filled with fabric soaked in aromatic herbs that were supposed to ward off germs, but really just helped “mask” the stench of sickness and death.

Even prior to the Coronapocalypse, some people wore stylized plague masks to parties, fetish balls and during kinky play. Now, they’re even more popular, in different colors with sexy embellishments like feathers and glitter.

So… have yourself a ball! Though if you want to stay safe, wear a regular face mask under your plague mask.

Fetish Masks

Speaking of fetish balls, the mask has long been an important article of kinky clothing in the BDSM world.

These range from a Mistress’ glittery party mask, such as those seen in old Lasse Braun loops or that ritual orgy in Eyes Wide Shut, to a slave’s full-coverage leather or latex bondage hood.

Fetish masks of this kind have long been associated with kink, sexual fantasies and taboo trysts. They can be used to enhance sexual experiences and consensual power exchange, especially in roleplay, as punishment, reward or even just for style.

Besides being kinky, fetish masks help to keep the wearers totally or somewhat anonymous and so, like the Carnavale masqueraders, they feel freer to express their true sexual selves.

Traditional fetish masks aren’t always COVID-safe, but you can find sexy kinky facemasks for both protection and fun. Consider this sleek latex facemask, a more extreme hood, a leather neck corset that’s also a facemask or the classic gasmask (includes a drinking connection).

Need to talk about your favorite fetish, with or without the mask?  Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213.291.9497.

Sensory Deprivation & Masked Kisses

One ironic erotic benefit of masks is the way they enhance certain senses through sensory deprivation. For instance, if you’re blindfolded, your sense of hearing, touch and smell are enhanced.

A face mask doesn’t deprive you of a particular sense in that way. However, there are two things you can’t do while wearing a facemask, and those are eating and drinking.

This is, of course, a big inconvenience, but it has its benefits.

Maybe it’ll help lower our society’s skyrocketing rates of obesity which, by the way, is a telltale “pre-existing condition” that makes obese Coronavirus patients more likely than others to die.

That’s not meant to be “fat-shaming,” but to encourage people to provide a little less of an appetizing meal for these crowned critters to feast upon.

Masks can be beautiful, mysterious and even romantic.

A kiss through facemasks deprives the kissers of the taste and touch of each other’s tongues, thereby—via the *magic* of sensory deprivation—enhancing their sense of each other’s aroma.

Such a tantalizing tease!

Warning: Kissing through masks isn’t COVID-safe; it’s just a fun way for couples who are self-isolating together to connect while out and about.

“Self-isolating together” has become a special kind of commitment, a “Love in the Time of Coronavirus” that is both more and less serious than marriage.

My “prime mate,” Capt’n Max, and I are self-isolating together, but we wear masks when we’re around other people, and it feels very romantic to kiss “through” our masks.

An image of a husband-and-wife team of nurses wearing masks, vizors, gloves and gowns as they embrace went viral (so to speak) early in the pandemic.

Looking at it and seeing the love and romance combined with discipline and service that it conveys, still brings tears to my eyes.

Make Masks Sexy!

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask. – Agatha Christie

Why is it so important to “make masks sexy”?

I’ll let someone who tweeted that I looked “immensely kinky” in my GasMaskGirl gas mask, answer that question, “Dr Susan if you can convince people to wear masks to prevent airborne contagion of Covid-19, you might have saved many lives.”

It’s funny, but for some people, kink and sex are greater motivators than matters of life or death.

If I can help reduce the spread of the dreaded virus by showing how sexy and kinky a face mask can be, I’m thrilled.

Take It Off!

Remember, masks are not forever. They’re not even for all day.

There comes a time, in the course of a day or during a romantic relationship, when you take off the mask. Though I’ve been talking up how sexy masks can be, there’s no denying that taking off the mask can be even sexier.

In the Coronapocalypse, it should also be very special, something you only do close-up with someone you trust, at a point when you know you are both COVID-free.

In these masked-up times, removing your mask to expose your face (when you’re in a safe space) sexier than a striptease.

But before you take it all off, be sure to put that sexy mask on. It just might save your (sex) life.

© March 11, 2021. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For information and speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950. Email her at drsusanblock@gmail.com.  Editorial Assistance on this article provided by Adriana Gomez-Weston 

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Need to talk? However you feel about masks, relationships and sex in the Coronapocalypse, you can talk to the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Call us anytime at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you.

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Have you ever wanted to just be a baby again?

Do you get aroused by the idea—or the reality—of wearing diapers, being held by warm strong arms, nuzzling big soft breasts, suckling mama’s nipples, being spanked, being cuddled, coddled or just plain babied? Do you want to cry like a baby? Laugh like a baby? Mess your diaper like a baby? Be treated like a spoiled, cranky, naughty or very good, very special baby?

You’re not alone.

Do you need to talk about it privately and confidentially with someone who understands?

The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other types of sexuality, whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497

Are you an Adult Baby Diaper Lover?

Everyone enjoys being “babied” sometimes, but some crave it some quite literally.

If you like roleplaying that you are a baby and/or wear diapers—either for sexual or nonsexual reasons—you may be an Adult Baby Diaper Lover (AB/DL).

You may enjoy enacting childhood activities such as crawling on the floor, playing with toys, sucking on a pacifier or talking in baby talk, or being cared for by a parent—a mommy or daddy (more on that later!)—or a babysitter.  Or perhaps just like to wear diapers, because the sensation of diapers might give you an erotic charge and/or a feeling of comfort which you can incorporate in your sexual relationships.

AB/DL, sometimes referred to as “infantilism,” encompasses a wide spectrum, and anyone who identifies as such has their own definition of what it means to them and what they enjoy. Some people, like those who identify as adult toddlers, may want to just wear children’s clothes and not be entirely helpless. Others yearn to hand over total control to a “dominant” caregiver, letting them take care of everything, from reading them books at bedtime to making their food (which consists mostly of baby food, snacks, or whatever the adult baby desires) to even changing their dirty “diapees,”  There are also adult bed-wetters, who find comfort and/or excitement in peeing in bed or “messing” their diapers.

Many enjoy AB/DL in a BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sadomaschism) context, with a Domme acting as Mommy—a “Dommy Mommy”—or a “Daddy Dom” providing discipline, like spanking or flogging, or gagging with a pacifier.

AB/DL Misconceptions

Long-time misconceptions of people who identify as AB/DL have been images of lazy, unappealing older men, who use the AB/DL moniker to give credence to their need for someone to take care of them.

That might be true of some, but many AB/DLs are high-functioning, independent people in the real world, and very capable of caring for themselves. Many are CEOs, bankers, college students, lawyers, professors—even world leaders (one prominent big baby comes to mind)—or otherwise ordinary folks. Sometimes their demanding, intensive schedules and always-in-control, high-pressure lifestyles feed into their need to check into their AB/DL personas to hand over control to someone else.

AB/DLs are also not pedophiles; this is yet another common misconception due to the link between childhood regression and sexuality. The vast majority of AB/DLs do not want to have sex with kids, they want to be kids.

Anyone within the AB/DL community will be quick to tell you that AB/DL is a roleplaying fantasy between consenting adults only, not with any real children at all.

Why Do You Like Diapers?

There is no single, definitive “cause” for AB/DL desires.

Furthermore, there is not likely to be just one reason that you long to return to your diaper-wearing days and suck on a pacifier as an adult. Like most fetishes and sexual interests, your desire probably stems from a combination of experiences, tendencies and needs.

One likely root of your AB/DL fetish would be your need to feel supported, nurtured, comforted or controlled. Perhaps you want to release your “inner child” to escape the pressures, responsibilities and the hypocrisy of adult life, if only temporarily. Hard-to-handle feelings of adult guilt—real or imagined—may drive you to seek the innocence of babyhood.

Your fetish for diapers might also relate to how you were toilet trained, especially if your toilet training was somehow difficult. Perhaps you experienced some trauma related to your childhood, and your AB/DL feelings are a way of coping with that. You may have received too much or not enough attention as a child, so you crave the feeling of being nurtured and/or disciplined by a parent figure. Perhaps you also eroticize these feelings, though not all AB/DL are aroused sexually by indulging their fetish. For some, it’s just comforting.

Perhaps the feeling of a Huggie hugging your bottom turns you on or just helps you to feel more secure in your daily life, secretly sporting your Bambinos under your Chinos. 

Then again, you might have real-life medical issues that require you to wear diapers 24/7.  Not every adult who has to wear diapers eroticizes them; in fact, most don’t. But many do, and sexualizing those diapers that you have to wear anyway can help you to feel good about something that otherwise might feel shameful, onerous or uncomfortable.

Did you know that astronauts often wear diapers? Called Maximum Absorbency Garments (MAG), these are adult-sized diapers with extra absorption material that NASA astronauts wear during liftoff, landing, and extra-vehicular activity (EVA) to absorb urine and feces. Wonder if some of those Space Force cadets are AB/DL…

However, most AB/DL don’t have to wear diapers; they just like to.

If you’re just beginning to understand your interest in diapers or your desire to suck your thumb, eat dinosaur-shaped cereal or wear cartoon-covered onesies, you might want to take some time exploring it on your own before trying to share it with someone new in your life.

Certain toys, clothes, or behaviors might trigger your AB/DL side, or perhaps activities like watching cartoons or G-rated movies, using baby talk or messing your diaper. Take time to try different scenes to examine what feels best for you.

Do you enjoy having sex in a diaper? Lots of AB/DL do, whether it’s masturbation, oral, BDSM-oriented or just “regular” sexual intercourse with the added spice of one or both partners wearing diapers and/or doing age play.

Every adult baby, diaper lover, little, adult toddler, sissy baby, diaper boy, diaper girl, etc. is different, and it takes time to understand why this fetish speaks to you. If you need to talk about it, give us call at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you and all your adult baby needs.

AB/DL and “Little” Kink

If you enjoy living your AB/DL fantasies in a kink-specific context, AB/DL crosses over quite often into BDSM. Instead of being called an adult baby or diaper lover, some kinksters are called “littles” while their caregivers are often called Bigs, Daddies or Mommies.

The relationship between a little and a Big can be similar to that of a sub and a Dom/me where the Big/Daddy/Mommy provides Dominant support to their submissive little.

Littles can be of any gender, age or sexual orientation. If you are the little, your Dom/me may nurture, discipline and/or control you. In certain relationships, you may enjoy soiling your diaper in order to get humiliated by their Mommy or Daddy. Usually this involves water sports, but could include Coprophagia, a.k.a., a feces fetish.

Not all littles identify as babies or toddlers; they just enjoy pretending to be young, usually in the context of “age play.”

Just like other types of submissives may go into “subspace” in a BDSM session, you may experience “little space,” a pleasant, out-of-control, often ecstatic, sometimes orgasmic feeling, like being “in the zone.”

Little space can be triggered in different ways, from the Dommy Mommy or Daddy uttering certain sounds or phrases, being babied, controlled, spanked or disciplined in other ways that turn you on or take you on a trip into a dream world where you feel like you really are the little baby of your fantasies.

Challenges of AB/DL

Many AB/DLs live in shame and have difficulty accepting this facet of their personality and/or sexuality, let alone disclosing it to anyone else.

However you feel, it’s okay to feel that way. But it certainly helps your sense of well-being to feel good about yourself and your sexuality.

Some try to stop AB/DL desires from occurring, but it’s usually impossible to stop your own desires. You can control what you do and how you behave, but you can’t control what you think or how you feel. Nevertheless, lots of people try, throwing away their diapers as they vow never to wear them again, then buying more when the urge gets irresistible, called “binge and purge” syndrome. Sometimes they can go without their fetish for years, but usually it comes back in some way. These back-and-forth patterns often create frustration, rage, stress, insecurity and even depression.

To help you with this, you might want to get into therapy. Of course, not many therapists, even sex therapists, are knowledgeable or understanding of AB/DL. Some therapists might be judgmental. Some erroneously believe in the misconceptions listed above and might even make an AB/DL feel worse about their feelings than they did before they went into therapy!

Unfortunately, there also isn’t a lot of research dedicated to understanding AB/DL, so you probably won’t find as much information online about it as you would about other common fetishes.

However, you can talk about it with the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Several of us are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other aspects of AB/DL, whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience. Call us anytime 24/7 at 213-291-9497.

Whether you get into therapy or not, it’s important to know that there is nothing wrong with being an AB/DL. It’s not illegal or unethical, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

That said, it’s not for everyone. In fact, it’s not for most people.

That’s okay; you don’t have to share it with everyone—just an understanding therapist, sex worker, lover or friend is usually enough.

Dating can be especially challenging for AB/DLs.

Nevertheless, it’s possible, and if you’re patient and lucky, it can be fantastic.

In some cases a partner may even feel moved to participate and share in an AB/DL’s roleplay, enacting the role of the caretaker by feeding their beloved adult baby milk from a bottle, reading them a bedtime story, speaking to them in baby talk, spanking them and/or changing their diaper. As with all sexual activities, it’s important that couples negotiate their expectations and boundaries.

Not all AB/DL play involves sex, so some people enjoy adult baby play with no sex involved.

If it proves difficult for you to get into a relationship with someone who will enjoy AB/DL with you, consider booking a session with a sex worker, escort, dominatrix or other professional who specializes in AB/DL. There’s nothing wrong with going to a sex worker, and it might be perfect for you, especially if you’re shy about bringing it up to someone in a dating context.

Escorting should be decriminalized, and it is in some states. Even if it’s not legal in your area, much adult baby play doesn’t involve sex anyway, so you needn’t worry about legalities.

That doesn’t mean you should give up on finding someone special with whom to share your fetish. Rest assured, there are people out there who are open to learning more about AB/DL. They may be interested for their own reasons, or they may get involved just because they love their partner and want to do what they enjoy.  

Loving an AB/DL

Is someone you love an adult baby?

Loving an AB/DL doesn’t require expertise in the subject, but does demand some compassion, understanding and acceptance.

Having your partner come out to you as an Adult Baby Diaper Lover can be rather shocking, especially when you aren’t familiar with AB/DLs. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re shocked, but that doesn’t mean you should expect your AB/DL lover to toss their Pampers in the trash and forget about them from now on. They can’t and they won’t. If they never bring it up to you again, rest assured that they are simply enjoying their fetish when you are not around. They may even be doing it with someone else. Regardless, they are still thinking about it and feeling bad about your intolerance, whether it makes them feel ashamed, angry, depressed or just frustrated.

However, if you’re open minded, or at least willing to hear them out, ask questions about their specific experiences and fantasies, and do a little research (start by carefully reading the previous sections), you can learn where they’re coming from and how you might fit in. Some AB/DLs are fine just acting out their fantasy by themselves or around you. Others prefer that you participate, usually as a caretaker or fellow baby. Some want to incorporate diapers into sex.  

This might be a deal-breaker for you, and that could be painful for both of you. But better to break up now than suffer in silence or expect them to forget their desires as you go along as if nothing’s different.

If you do want to maintain the relationship, you need to be open and understanding, and you might find yourself surprised that it’s not as bad as you feared. Maybe you’ll even have fun with it. It might even turn you on!

Nevertheless, your own comfort level is as important as theirs. All sexual and interpersonal activity should be consensual. You should try new things, stretch your boundaries and expand your horizons. There’s nothing wrong with doing something that doesn’t turn you on just because it makes your partner feel good. They probably do things just to make you happy sometimes. Just don’t do anything you really don’t want to do.

You might find that you enjoy some AB/DL activities, but not others. For instance, maybe you enjoy feeding your adult baby, tickling them, talking baby talk or giving them a good spanking, but you are not up for changing their diapers. Don’t be afraid to assert your boundaries. Just because you’re in love with an AB/DL doesn’t mean you have to give into all of your baby’s demands.

Want some tips on handling your adult baby—or your own emotions? Got questions or concerns? Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute. We can help.

Need to Talk about AB/DL?

Still have questions? Not sure how to explore your Adult Baby Diaper Lover fetish by yourself or with a partner? Want to b

etter understand this aspect of your life? Are you in a relationship with an AB/DL and not sure how to handle it? Are you an AB/DL who wants to share this with your spouse, partner or someone new? It’s okay if there’s more you need to know. AB/DL is widely misunderstood, and it’s hard to find someone with whom to discuss, discover, explore and enjoy them.

Whatever your desires or concerns, you can talk about them with the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Several of us are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other aspects of AB/DL. Whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience, we’re just a phone call away. Call us anytime 24/7 at 213-291-9497.

We’re here for you.

The post Adult Baby Diaper Fetish appeared first on Dr. Susan Block Institute.

by Dr. Susan Block.

Are you thinking about gangbangs?

Do you ever fantasize about multiple men having sex with one woman? Do you imagine your wife, lover or favorite celebrity at the center of the action?  Would you want it to be with your friends or strangers? Have you ever participated in a gangbang? Would you like to try it?

Do you need to talk about it?

Being aroused by the idea of participating in a consensual gangbang is normal and a lot more common than you might realize.  You may want to act on your desire, or you may not. Regardless, though gangbangs and all forms of group sex are taboo in most modern human societies—and no one should ever take part in a nonconsensual gangbang—they remain part of our prehistoric primate heritage. Indeed, gangbangs have been going on since the dawn of humanity, for thousands of years before the concepts of monogamy and even fatherhood came into understanding.

Need to talk privately about gangbangs, group sex, swinging, cuckolding or any other form of recreational sex? call the world’s foremost experts, the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Our team of highly qualified sex therapists, sex life coaches, fantasy roleplay performers, sexual psychodrama facilitators, erotic hypnotherapists and kink specialists are here for YOU anytime you need to talk.

Whether you want to better understand your own feelings and desires, act them out in real life, learn how to share them with your partner, work through past experiences, hear about our own experiences with gangbangs, or explore a fantasy over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here for you. Call 213-291-9497.

Why Do You Love Gangbangs?

Many gangbang enthusiasts are worried that their interest in gangbangs, threesomes “The Lifestyle” and other forms of group sex makes them “weird.” If that sounds like you, rest assured you’re not weird.

Human sexual history, in fact, is loaded with various kinds of group sex, including gangbangs. Unfortunately, much of it—way too much of it—has been by force, most notably and tragically during wartime. Unfortunately, when Hollywood movies, such as The Accused, depict gangbangs, though they don’t show genitalia like porn, they almost invariably show the horrible, nonconsensual kind.

However, some of the group sex that’s been going on since hunter/gatherer times has been consensual and a great pleasure, as well as a profoundly meaningful experience, for all involved. That includes gender-balanced swing parties, same sex orgies, one male with a “harem” of females, as well as one female having sex with multiple men.

So, there’s nothing new about group sex, including gangbangs. What is *new* is that the Internet allows us to learn more about what other people do than ever before in human history. Moreover, if we want, we can *hook up* with people who share our desires—including the desire to watch or partake in a good gangbang.

Search “gangbang” in google, and you’ll see megatons of gangbang porn, and the great majority appears to be enthusiastically consensual. According to PornHub.com, which received 42 billion visits in 2019, “threesome” was the 13^th most popular search term and “gangbang” was the 19^th most popular, putting both in the top 20.

But why is this? Aren’t we supposed to want to be with just one special lover? Why would sharing lovers with others turn us on?

Sperm Wars & the Upsuck Effect

The “Sperm Wars” phenomenon—where the womb becomes a battleground for sperm that fight like armies or football teams to get one of their sperm (the proverbial football) to the egg first—gives us a biological explanation of why gangbangs are so popular.

Studies show that a man’s sperm count tends to rise when competition to fertilize the egg of his wife or girlfriend appears to be high. Whether the man really has genuine rivals who are having sex with his partner or it’s just in his vivid imagination, his brain sends a message to his testicles that says, “Send in the army!” or “We need the whole football team, including reinforcements, for this game!”

In other words, “Make more sperm!”

Whether he’s excited and happy about the competition or jealous and angry, this phenomenon tends to give a man a stronger erection and a more explosive ejaculation. Of course, it’s better for everyone concerned if he’s more glad than mad, but that does explain why jealous, angry lovemaking or “makeup sex” can be so arousing for some people, despite their better judgment.

Conversely, sperm counts often decline in the routine sex of monogamous relationships, no matter how intimate and loving. Since the element of competition is missing, the brain’s message to the balls is, “You don’t need the whole football team to score this goal since there’s no rival team on the field. Conserve your resources and just send in a few runners.”

The shape of the human penis gives us another clue as to why gangbangs are so popular. A study by Gordon Gallup and coworkers (2003) concluded that one evolutionary purpose of the thrusting motion characteristic of intense intercourse is for the penis to “upsuck” another man’s semen before depositing its own. Thus a man’s urge to thrust, through intercourse or masturbation, is often enhanced by the presence of another man or several men, whether real or fantasized.

A Galaxy of Gangbangs

There are many different kinds of gangbangs.

There’s the beach party gangbang, a birthday gangbang, a soft-swing gangbang that involves outercourse instead of intercourse. It could be a spanking gangbang, a cuckold gangbang, an oral or an anal gangbang.

In terms of the participants, there’s the classic one-woman-with-a-male-gang scenario—and then there’s anything else that turns you and you partner(s) on.

Maybe you’re a man who longs to be gangbanged by other men, or perhaps by a group of women sporting strap-ons or squirting all over you.

Most men who imagine such scenarios don’t dare express their feelings, not to other men nor to the women in their lives, for fear of being humiliated… even if “humiliation” is part of the fantasy.

Need to talk about it privately with someone who understands? Call us at 213.291.9497.

Consent is Essential

As with any type of sexual activity, the most important element of a gangbang is consent. Fantasy gangbangs can involve whatever turns you on, but any real-life gangbang should require enthusiastic consent from all participants, especially the recipient, the person (usually, but not always, a female) who is at the center of the gangbang.

Otherwise, it’s a gang rape. Even if that turns you on in fantasy, it’s not something to ever participate in reality.

Keep in mind that, for many reasons, feelings of consent can change over the course of a few minutes or hours. So, it’s important to continually “check in” with the recipient to make sure she or he is “all right,” happy and eager for more.

At the first sign of reluctance on the part of the recipient, no matter how turned on everybody else is, the gangbang must stop.

Whether or not the gangbang is a success, it’s important to provide “after care,” especially to the recipient. This could take the form of hugs, drinks, food, help cleaning up, words of appreciation, a massage or whatever the recipient enjoys.

Need advice preparing your next gangbang soirée?
We’ll help you to make sure it’s a success for all concerned.
Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

Are You a Cuckold?

“Cuckold” is an old English term for a man whose wife (often called a “hotwife”) has sex with other men (called “bulls”). In the 21st century, there has been a resurgence of interest in the cuckold’s predicament, cuckold sex, cuckold fantasies, cuckold erotica, hot wives, big bulls, sperm wars and the cuckold lifestyle.

There’s also the cuckold gangbang, when the hotwife has sex with several bulls at one time. The gangbang may or may not include the cuckold himself.

There are many types of cuckolds: Submissive Cuckolds, Dominant Cuckolds, Sissy Cuckolds, Fantasy Cuckolds, Sapiosexual Cuckolds, Interracial Cuckolds, Small-Cock Cuckolds, Bi-Curious Cuckolds, Swinger Cuckolds, Spanked Cuckolds, Cuckolds-in-Bondage, Cuckolds-in-Chastity, Director Cuckolds, Cuckold Voyeurs, Cuckold Exhibitionists, Cheated-On Cuckolds, Trans Cuckolds, Reluctant Cuckolds, Humiliated Cuckolds, Happy Cuckolds and many more varieties.

Along with the growing popularity of cuckolding, there has been a growing acceptance of it as a “normal” sexual interest, even if it’s enhanced with a gangbang, as long as it’s all consensual.

Nevertheless, many men feel ashamed of their desire to be cuckolded, perhaps especially if it involves a gangbang. Such men tend to feel a whole lot better when they learn the “sperm wars” biological explanation for their desires, as well as just how common and “normal” these desires are.

Need to talk about sperm wars, cuckolding or gangbangs?
Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213-291-9497.

Group Sex & Swinging

There are many forms of group sex, from threesomes to orgies, polyamorous arrangements, swing parties and pansexual celebrations. Gangbangs are another form of group sex.

Group sex might sound very kinky for some, but it fulfills a very natural, human need to share erotic, orgasmic, loving experiences with multiple people, friends, loved ones and attractive strangers.  In a world that increasingly demands compartmentalization and isolation, there are few arenas left in which humans can share in this vital, life-affirming experience of communal ecstasy.

Different group sex formations are popular, such as the “daisy chain” in which participants perform oral sex on each other in circular formation.  

Some threesomes exhibit a gangbang flair, such as the “spit-roast,” where two males engage a female (or another male), with one penetrating from the rear, usually doggy style, while the female performs fellatio on the other male. There’s also “double-penetration” in which one male penetrates the lady’s vagina while the other enters her anus. If she goes down on another, that’s a triple-penetration.  Add a few more guys around them, watching, stroking themselves and waiting their turn, and you’ve got a classic gangbang.

Go Bonobos for Gangbangs

Gangbangs and other forms of group sex are very common amongst our closest genetic cousins, both common chimpanzees—who are more likely do it non-consensually—and especially bonobos —who usually do it with enthusiastic consent and are thus far more worthy of our emulation. 

In fact, the sexual behavior of all the great apes is a fascinating window into how early human sexual behavior evolved, giving us vital clues as to why gangbangs are so arousing for so many people.

Many anthropologists agree that prehistoric humans often engaged in various forms of group sex for tens of thousands of years before the advent of farming and “civilization” started pressuring people, especially women, to be sexually monogamous.

Certainly, prehistoric humans participated in consensual gangbangs and other bonoboesque forms of recreational sex that are generally considered taboo in modern human society.

Do you yearn to liberate your inner bonobo… at least in the Erotic Theater of the Mind?
Call us at 213-291-9497.

Bukkake Gangbangs

If you’re a porn fan, you probably know that “bukkake” is a Japanese term that refers to spraying the face and body of a person, usually a woman, though sometimes a man, with sperm from one, several or many men. The word actually means “splash” or “squirt” in Japanese. In some bukkake sessions, 150 men ejaculate onto one woman.

That’s some gigantic gangbang!

In American-style bukkake, the recipient acts like she’s enjoying herself, rubbing the sperm into her skin like a beauty treatment.

In Japanese-style bukkake, the recipient is more degraded, often acting like she is an unwilling participant (hopefully, it’s just an act). 

Legend has it that in ancient Japan, an adulterous woman would be dragged into the town square and tied up, whereupon every man in town ejaculated all over her in a frenzied bukkake gangbang. Basically, they seem to have been saying, “If you’re going to take it from a man other than you husband, you’re going to get it from everyone else. You’re going to be gangbanged.”

Some say it comes from the practice of stoning an unfaithful woman to death, and that bukkake is a “kinder, gentler” chastisement. Whether or not the legends are true, “bukkake” became a form of Japanese porn in the 1980s, grew in popularity, and now if you type “bukkake” into google, you’re likely to get hundreds of sites, even if you don’t spell it right.

Bukkake is so vivid and provocative, it can represent many different ideas and feelings. Years ago, in an antiwar context, I compared the “Shock & Awe” bombing of Iraq with bukkake (the nonconsensual kind) in Bukkake Bombing Crusade.

But back to consensual bukkake (even if it’s made to look forced) where nobody gets killed and, hopefully, everybody has fun and big orgasms, including the recipient.

By far the most common bukkake scenario is a group of males ejaculating on a female, but there are scenes where a group of women gangbang a man or woman, spraying the recipient with female ejaculate.  

Gay male bukkake gangbangs are also popular in which a group of men gangbang one male recipient, covering him in their creamy spunk.

Just the sight of all that semen can trigger the Sperm Wars effect in many guys—gay, straight or bi.

Banzai!

Gangbangs: Natural, Normal…But Not Easy

Just because a desire for gangbangs is natural and popular doesn’t mean it’s easy to make it happen in real life, especially in our erotophobic society. There are many variables with one-on-one sex, and group sex just ratchets up the possibilities for problems as well as pleasure.

For instance, say you’re a man with an intense gangbang fantasy that you’d really like to make happen in real life. But what if the woman (your wife? Your girlfriend? Your sex buddy?) isn’t as enthusiastic about being “gangbanged” as you are about seeing her in that situation? 

What if you can’t find the right guys? Where do you find them? How do you screen them? How do you handle safer sex? What if, despite the fantasy turning you on, the reality makes you jealous? What if people gossip about it, take photos without your permission or otherwise betray your trust?  How do you mix lust with trust?

Sometimes it helps to talk freely with someone who understands, won’t judge you and will help you. Whether you need more personalized advice or just want to roleplay a fantasy, call the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213-291-9497

Are You a Gangbang Goddess?

Are you a woman who wants to be gangbanged? Congratulations! You are a very sexual female, and you deserve to enjoy the tremendous, unparalleled pleasures of group sex.

The good news is it probably won’t be tough for you to find partners who want to gangbang you. Just post an ad on a swinger site and watch the replies flood your inbox.

The bad news is that it’s not so easy to find partners you really like, feel attraction for and trust with your naked sexuality. It might take some time and patience to mix trust with lust to create the gangbang of your dreams.

Unfortunately, most modern societies around the world denigrate all forms of group sex, including consensual gangbangs. This can make your partner judge you harshly for confessing or expressing your desires. So, it’s usually best that you understand your feelings and the issues involved before divulging too much.

Most importantly, before you plunge into the deep end of gangbanging and group sex, make sure this is something you want to do, not just something your husband or lover wants you to do. Don’t grudgingly “go along” with a scene that doesn’t turn you on, like Paul Manafort’s wife is alleged to have done in their “interracial” gangbangs. Enthusiastic consent—on your part and the part of all involved—is the basis of a great gangbang or any kind of great sex at all.

Need to talk about how to turn your gangbang fantasy into reality?  Want to find out how to create the ultimate gangbang, whom to invite, what to serve and what to wear? Want to learn more about the origins of your personal gangbang desires? Or do you just want to enjoy guided masturbation as we explore the fantasy together?

Whatever you need to talk about, you can call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute and talk to one of our male, female,  trans or non-binary therapists of all ages over 18 with great gangbang knowledge, experience and erotic appreciation.

Whether you’d like to get a better understanding of your fetish, get some tips for talking to your partner about it, work through past experiences, hear about our  experiences with gangbangs, or just explore gangbangs in the Erotic Theater of the Mind over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here to help.  Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

The post GANGBANG Phone Sex Therapy appeared first on Dr. Susan Block Institute.

Love lingerie?

Like sexy panties, stockings, garter belts, diaphanous robes, cute teddies, slinky slips, bras, corsets, old-fashioned girdles or pantyhose?

What about materials? Do you prefer silky or lacy lingerie, satin, chiffon, nylon, fishnet, latex, spandex or pure simple cotton?

How about colors? Sultry black? Virginal white? Fire-engine red? Classic navy? Sparkly silver or gaudy gold? Passionate purple? Vintage ivory? Hot pink?

Do you love to look at your lovers in lingerie, feel the sensuous material, smell the intimate aroma… or wear it yourself?

Whether you’ve got a full-blown lingerie “fetish” or just an erotic interest, you can talk about it with the lingerie-loving Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7.

Rest assured, your privacy is paramount, and everything you share with us is absolutely confidential.

Let us help you explore, understand and enjoy your interest in lingerie and anything else you need to talk about that you can’t talk about with anyone else. You can talk to us, and we are here for YOU.

And yes, of course, you can masturbate, if you want, during sessions. And no, there is no sex therapy center or phone sex service quite like ours.

Call us anytime: 213-291-9497.

The post Lingerie Phone Sex Therapy appeared first on Dr. Susan Block Institute.

by Dr. Susan Block.

10 Steps to Receiving Your First Erotic Adult Spanking

• Make Sure You Want to Get Spanked
  Ask yourself: Am I getting spanked because I really want to, or is somebody talking me into it? It’s okay if someone you trust respectfully encourages you to experience spanking, but if you feel coerced into something you don’t want, stop right there, get off your hands and knees, grab your keys and go home. Even if it turns you on to be very submissive, you should only receive a spanking because YOU want to get spanked.

• Make Sure Your Partner Wants to Spank You
  In any BDSM play, it’s mostly about what the subbie wants, but the dominant partner’s needs and capabilities are important too. Does your potential spanker really want to give you the spanking you crave? They should be as excited about it as you—or at least, happy to give it a go, since it’s what you want. On the other hand, if they are wary or fearful, due to the past trauma of being spanked as a child, or if they just can’t get past the idea that spanking is “hitting,” and that even if it’s consensual, it’s “wrong”… then maybe this isn’t the perfect spanker for you. To learn how your potential spanker really feels about spanking, communication is key. Body language speaks volumes, but nothing beats (pun intended) asking “How do you feel about erotic adult spanking?”—perhaps in reference to an Internet post, our magazine or a “dream” you just had. Really listen to what they have to say, whether you like it or not. Be patient. Stay positive! You will find the happy spanker of your naughty dreams, or they will find you.

• Who Are You? Want to Roleplay?
  Now that you know you’re happy and your partner’s happy, ask yourself: “Would I rather make believe that I’m unhappy?” That is, do you want your spanking to be a pretend punishment for being “bad” or “naughty,” or are you simply interested in exploring percussive posterior sensations? Do you imagine that you are a pouting brat, a tearful hostage, a naughty student, a disciplined slave, a tantric initiate, a cosplay superhero getting smacked by the villain, or are you “just you” being spanked erotically for the first time? Sometimes it’s easier to enjoy yourself when you “let your self go” and “play” an imaginary “role.”  Then again, it might be better to just be yourself or, if you trust your partner and they’ve got creative roleplay ideas that excite you, go with their flow.

• Prepare Yourself & Your Gear
  Whatever your spanking role in this play, it’s time to clean up your act! Unless your spanker requests a dirty spankee (literally), make sure your tushy and all surrounding areas are clean and fresh. This is a good idea, even if you plan to keep your pants on, since sometimes a sound spanking can bring out the body fluids, which is a good thing… unless you didn’t wash. What about wardrobe? Wear something you find sexy and spankable, perhaps a costume that fits your roleplay. A skirt to pull up and/or panties to pull down are all-time favorites. Some first-time spankees want the security of full coverage pants or pantyhose; others enjoy being stripped and shaved bare for maximum feeling and exposure. Whatever you prefer, prepare yourself accordingly. Though it’s usually the spanker’s responsibility to provide props for this play, if you have a certain special paddle, hairbrush or book (Bonobo Way, anyone?) with which you’d like to be spanked, bring it.

• What’s Your Safe Word & What are Your Ground Rules?
  How far do you want to go? Think and talk about your “ground rules” before you start. Your spanking may happen spontaneously, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as it’s consensual. Isn’t it great when it “just happens”? Of course, but that doesn’t make a planned spanking inferior. In fact, in many ways, it can be better. Think about what kind of spanking you’d like and what you definitely wouldn’t like and tell your partner. Now’s also the time to establish boundaries and confess any medical conditions that could be affected by a sound spanking. Pick a safeword, and don’t be afraid to use it. A safeword should make it clear that you want the spanking to stop and stop now. Of course, you could say “stop,” but you might prefer a different word, so you can enjoy moaning “stop!” in character, but your spanker won’t stop… until you use that safeword. One popular choice is “red,” though lately, a lot of submissives are choosing the safeword “Donald Trump” to indicate that they’ve had enough.

• Assume the Position
  There’s no rule that says you can’t change position, mid-spanking, and a degree of discomfort can make your spanking pleasantly kinky. However, this being your First Spanking, you should start out as comfortable as possible. After all, this should be a pain in the butt, not the neck. Consider both physical and emotional comfort, as well as roleplay factors, when choosing whether to go Over the Knee (OTK), over a piece of furniture (bed, couch, chair, desk or table, to name a few), up against the wall or standing spread-eagled tied to a St. Andrew’s Cross. You might also consider your spanker’s comfort, especially if they are older, smaller than you or physically challenged. But this is your First Spanking, so mainly consider your comforts. Once you’ve chosen a position, assume it as fully as possible, showing off that derriere, arching that back, maybe twerk that ass or keep it perfectly still—whatever arouses you and your spanker.

• Start Soft
  Let your spanker know you’d like to start nice and easy, rather than hard and crazy. You can always go harder later, but you need a “warm-up” both physically (like with any form of exertion that “hurts so good”) and emotionally (spanking can bring up very deep feelings). This is mostly your spanker’s responsibility, but it’s your ass, so if you’re not sure they know how to start, tell them: Start softly, and go harder if and when you ask for it…. maybe even beg for it! This should be one of your Ground Rules, so you don’t have to “break character” once you get spanking. And if your spanker starts off too hard anyway, use that safeword.

• Give Feedback
  Now that your spanking is underway, enjoy it! If all is going well, take a deep breath, and let yourself really fully experience that amazing spanking feeling all through your body. Don’t neglect to share the good news with your partner who, if they’re any good at this, is paying close attention to your responses as they spank. If you like it, don’t be too shy to moan, sigh or squeal in a positive way, or just say “I like it.” What if you don’t like it? Use your safe word and communicate this to your partner. Don’t suffer in silence (that’s the wrong kind of suffering!). If your spanker complains that you are “topping from the bottom,” you might want to politely get up off their lap and find another spanker who will respect you.

• Enjoy Sub Space
  Are you enjoying your spanking? Congratulations! If you’d like more and harder, you can encourage your spanker to give it to you through your moans, squeals and saying “Oh yes!” You could even “beg” them for it. As the spanking heats up, if you feel you can trust your partner, you might relax and go into “sub space,” an altered state of bliss induced by submission to skillfully administered spanking, your endorphins rising to counteract the pain. Be careful, don’t fall off that lap now, but do enjoy your spanking experience. It can be a therapeutic treatment that’s as healing as a good massage. You might even have an orgasm, a “spankgasm.”

• Take After-Care
  Whether you think you need it or not, after a good spanking—or especially after a bad one—you need after-care. Make sure your spanker understands this, so they will tend your wounded butt, get you a drink or a snack or just hold you and let you talk about your feelings. Or maybe you want them to admire your reddened ass as your show off their handiwork. If it’s a good spanking, you’ll definitely want after-care from your spanker, building trust and intimacy so that the next spanking will be even better. If it’s not so good, you might need to get away and get after-care from someone else. After-care is mostly for the spankee, but very often, the spanker also needs a form of “after-care,” in that they want and need to know that you’re okay, that the “terrible” spanking they just gave you was actually very nice. So give thanks for their good spanking in some way! If not right then and there because you’re just too overcome with emotion, then later. If you’re really not okay, let them know, with love, so they can improve their spanking sensitivity and abilities, with you or their next partner. Whether it was good or bad, don’t make any sudden moves after a spanking. Certainly don’t get spanked and drive; your blood count may be alcohol-free, but you might still be “drunk” on sub space.

10 Steps to GIVING Your First Erotic Adult Spanking

• Make Sure You’re Ready to Give a Spanking
  You’re in charge, right? Well, yes, you’re the one doing the spanking, but if this is your First Time, you need to be in the right frame of mind. Even if you’re not sure if you’ll like it, you should want to give it a try. Nobody can physically make you spank them, but a wily submissive might manipulate you into giving a spanking you don’t want to give. This could trigger bad memories of being spanked or otherwise abused as a child, making it traumatic for you, making you feel fearful or angry. Do NOT spank someone in anger. If you’re angry, you need to cool off or talk, not spank. Erotic adult spanking should not be an outlet for your anger or a real punishment for so-called wrongdoing, and it certainly shouldn’t be abusive or disrespectful. It should be a mutual recreational pleasure… with a little bit of pain.

• Make Sure Your Partner Wants You to Spank Them
  Now that you know you want to give a spanking, make sure your intended spankee wants to receive one… from you! This is a little trickier than Step 1, so you’ll need to communicate, usually with words, though not necessarily. For instance, if you’re already in a sexual relationship, you can try adding a little spank or two to your usual repertoire of caresses and squeezes, and see how your partner reacts. If they squeal or moan in a positive way or, better yet, if they say, “I like that!” you know you can go farther. You don’t have to draw up a spanking contract; if you’re already having sex, you can just add spanking slowly and organically. On the other hand, if you’d like to spank a friend, co-worker or acquaintance, you may need a contract. Seriously, make sure to get full, sober consent for whatever you want to do, for both of your sakes. Don’t skimp on this step! Consent is sexy.

• Who Are You? Just Yourself or Roleplaying?
  Having confirmed consent, consider how you envision yourself giving a spanking. As a classic spanking master or mistress in leather or latex? Or are you more of a domestic disciplinarian, a CIA interrogator, an avenging superhero, a demanding boss, a paddle-wielding gym teacher or Stormy Daniels spanking Trump’s rump with a Forbes? Then again, you might just rather be your simple spanking hot self. When in doubt, ask your spankee what they’d like you to be, and try that role on for size. Do a little research, such as reading spanking erotica or watching videos in your spankee’s preferred genre, and let their desires mix with your imagination.

• Prepare Yourself & Your Stuff
  You might like to be a dirty Dom, but you should clean your body, if not your mind, for the occasion. A manicure is a nice touch; nobody wants to be spanked by filthy, unkempt fingernails. Dress or undress according to your character and your spankee’s preference. You want them to submit to your spanking, and the right outfit—whether leather, latex, lingerie, suit, costume or uniform—can be an essential ingredient. Part of your preparation should be to learn how to spank properly. Ideally, you will have received a few spankings before giving one so you know what it’s like. You could also take spanking lessons so you learn where the “sweet spots” are (the lower, fleshy parts of the butt) and what to avoid (the kidneys). Have a medical kit nearby, just in case. Prepare some spanking implements, a paddle, crop, whip or flogger. Test your tools on yourself before using them on anyone else. Even if you plan to just use your hand, your partner might have a tougher hide than you realize, and your palm or wrist may give out before their derrière does. Make plans as best you can, but the best-laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. Be flexible, and always have a Plan B.

• Establish the Ground Rules & Safeword
  Giving your regular partner a few spanks on the butt during sex doesn’t require too many “rules” except to start light and pay close attention to their reactions. Doggystyle or Cowgirl are great positions for the penetrator to spank the penetratee, as the butt is most accessible to the penetrator. On the other hand, Missionary is the optimal position for the penetratee to spank the penetrator, spurring them on to thrust harder. If you do it spontaneously without formally asking, don’t neglect to ask later how your partner felt about it. If you aren’t in a sexual relationship, you’ll need more ground rules. Most of these should come from the spankee, but you might have a few rules yourself. If your partner is shy, draw them out and help them to establish sound boundaries. Find out if they have any medical conditions that might affect your spanking. Make sure your partner has a safe word; “Red,” “Blue,” “Trump,” “Mueller Time”—whatever it is, note it, respect it and stop everything if they say it.

• Assume the Position
  Now you’re ready to spank. Woohoo! Help your spankee find a comfortable position that is also good for you. This could be Over-the-Knee (OTK), bent across the desk (or any sturdy piece of furniture) or standing up against the wall, legs spread, back arched. Consider how you will get the best leverage for maximum impact control. Size could be a factor; if your spankee is considerably bigger than you, OTK might be awkward, and over the couch a better “fit.” After confirming consent, you might adjust their position or outfit more to your liking and for easy accessibility. As you do this, you can heighten the anticipation by explaining how or why you are going to give the spankee a good spanking. Little by little, you are taking charge of their ass.

• Start Soft, Explore, Pay Attention
  Do NOT come on swinging like a slugger in a boxing match. Start with soft taps, especially if you are bigger and stronger than the spankee. Accept the possibility that you may not know your own strength and take it slow. You can always go harder as they “beg for it.” Be sure to start with the buns. There are many parts of the body that could respond well to a spanking—the boobs, the genitals, the backs of the legs—but it’s best to begin with the bottom. God, the Goddess or Natural Selection seems to have “made” the lower, meatier part of the buttocks for spanking. Cup your hand as you spank for more resounding but less painful impact. In between smacks, caress and fondle the butt. You can even kiss that ass. You might also play with the spankee’s genitals or pull their hair—very lightly, to begin—if they like that. Spank lightly, explore and pay close attention to their vocalizations and body language. Let them be your guide

• Go Harder & Faster… Gradually
  Congrats! If you’ve gotten to this Step, you’re doing pretty well as a first-time spanker. Now you have the challenge of upping the impact play without overdoing it. When in doubt, go back to light and soft, and for many first timers, that’s enough. But if both of you are enjoying it, you can rev things up, perhaps spanking harder, with implements, smacking body parts other than the butt or doing other things, like hair-pulling or nipple-pinching, while spanking. You might also rev up the roleplay, teasing and pleasing as you move into more dramatic, emotional areas, if it feels right. Even as you crank it up, keep it erotic by interspersing caresses and squeezes with hard spanks. Be careful not to hit the kidneys, other vital organs or the spine, and certainly don’t do anything that could cause real physical damage. And don’t worry about breaking character, if you feel you need to “check in” with your spankee’s physical or emotional state just to make sure they’re okay, even if they haven’t used their safeword. Better to be safe than so sorry you’ll never spank again!

• Take Feedback
  As the spanker, you should frequently request feedback from your spankee, There may come a point, maybe after several spankings, where you know your spankee really well and you don’t need much feedback. Until that point, do not assume that you know how they are feeling—ever, and certainly not on your first time spanking them. If your spankee is shy and doesn’t give feedback easily, make an effort to draw them out. Whatever you do, don’t gag your spankee on your or their first foray into the wonderful, whacky world of spanking. You need to hear their feedback. If some of the feedback is critical of your spanking skills, try not to take offense or tell them they’re not submissive enough. Instead, consider it a learning experience, and your spankee is your teacher, even if they’re the one in the cheerleading skirt.

• Give After-Care
  Always provide after-care to your spankee, whether you think they need it or not. This might entail talking—or more likely listening to them talk about how being spanked made them feel. It’s an important therapeutic release for them, but it’s also good feedback for you. After-care might also involve hugging, though if your spankee would rather not be hugged, don’t make them hug you. One fun part of after-care is checking out your handiwork on your spankee’s well-spanked bottom. Don’t skimp on the compliments if you want to spank them again. You might feel you need after-care too, after all that physical, mental and emotional exertion, so hopefully the after-care love will flow both ways. Nevertheless, it’s your responsibility as the spanker to make sure the spankee feels good and cared for, post-spanking. If you can do that, congratulations on giving your first consensual erotic adult spanking! With hopefully, more to come….

Need to Talk PRIVATELY about Spanking?
Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213.291.9497.
We’re here for you.

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by Dr. Susan Block.

It’s all about the orgasm.

Well, maybe not all. There are other important aspects to good sex: sensuality, intimacy, humor, consent, creativity, openness, communication, love. But for many people, orgasms—yours and your lover(s)—tend to be the high points of sexual experience.

Orgasm might just be the peak of our very existence. That’s why we also call it a “climax.” It’s certainly considered by many to be the most pleasurable thing we can enjoy. That thrumming rush of endorphins as it builds via foreplay, teasing and erotic tension, the electric thrill, the ultimate eruption and release, accompanied by intensely pleasurable, rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvis and sometimes throughout the body, as well as in the mind, ecstasy enveloping your entire being, sometime make you feel that you “lose” your body… or your mind. You might also feel like you’re floating through space or hurtling through time into infinity, a shattering of the “ego,” blending into a deep “cosmic” awareness of your cellular connection with everyone and everything in the universe, along with a marvelous sense of well-being.

Oh, what a feeling.

Yet, for some of us, orgasms are elusive, “over-rated” and almost mythical. Some people, usually women, have never experienced sexual climax in their lives. Other women or men, due to the aging process, or physical and/or mental trauma, may have once climaxed easily and often, but not anymore.

Orgasms aren’t everything, but not having them—for whatever reason—can certainly take the wind out of your sexual sails. What to do?

Need to talk about your orgasms?

Private and absolutely confidential, you can call the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213-291-9497. Whatever your question, desire or orgasmic issue, we’re here for you.

Orgasm Education

Could you benefit from a little orgasm education? It’s not a subject they teach in school… at least not in the classroom. Yet most of us would greatly benefit from learning a thing or two about orgasms, as well as why and how we have them… or don’t have them.

Not everyone just instinctively “knows” how to climax in a way that is satisfying for themselves and their partners. Many women have to learn to “achieve” or release orgasm, and many men greatly benefit from learning to control the timing of their orgasms. Most people of all genders can achieve greater, stronger orgasms through experience, education and just sharing information.

What kinds of orgasms do you experience? What would you like to try?

Orgasms are like flowers; there are many different varieties.  All are beautiful in their own way, but some may not be your cup of love juice.  There are quickie orgasms, deep slow orgasms, clitoral orgasms and G-spot orgasms (for women), C-spot orgasms (also for women, involving the cervix), P-spot orgasms (for men), blended orgasms, extended orgasms, oral sex orgasms, masturbatory orgasms, woman-on-top orgasms, missionary orgasms, doggy-style orgasms, reverse-cowgirl orgasms, spoon-style orgasms, yabyum orgasms, first-time orgasms, multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, orgasms that seem to come from parts of the body other than the genitals (i.e., nipplegasms, toegasms, eargasms), anal orgasms, emotional orgasms, no-touch orgasms, fantasy-powered orgasms, fetish-oriented orgasms, vibrator orgasms, dildo orgasms, sadomasochistic orgasms, orgy orgasms, bondage orgasms, pain-killer orgasms, sinus-clearing orgasms, “Sperm Wars” orgasms, tantric-style non-ejaculatory orgasms for men, male ejaculatory orgasms that shoot versus the kind that just dribble, and female ejaculatory orgasms (squirting). There are even so-called “forced orgasms” where the Dominant partner restrains the submissive (consensually, of course) until they climax, seemingly against their will. There are mini-orgasms that last a half-second and orgasms that go on for days—or feel like they do.

Got questions about any type of orgasm? Give us a call anytime at 213-291-9497.

“Oh God!”

In a very real sense, coming or “cumming” is sacred. Maybe that’s why so many of us call out to “God” when we cum. Climaxing launches us into a higher state of being—one many of us yearn to experience on a regular basis. However, while frequent orgasming is good and good for you, there are some practical limits. After all, you’ve got a life to live, maybe a job to work, relationships to foster, issues to deal with. Sacrificing everything else for the sake of the ultimate O isn’t necessarily desirable or even feasible.

For instance, you may be a “demisexual” who can only climax via intimacy with a meaningful partner, which might sound very nice but means that you freeze up during first-time encounters. On the other hand, you might have stronger orgasms via self-pleasure—or, even more problematic, during an affair—than with your regular partner, the person you love.

Orgasms, though fabulous, can be fickle.

Are your orgasmic needs at odds with your other needs, desires and goals? Need to sort it out with someone knowledgeable?

Or do you feel like you just need to “cum” in a safe, confidential context that doesn’t interfere with your other priorities and just lets you enjoy your strongest solo-sex orgasm possible?

To kick that Big O into overdrive, call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7. And yes, of course, you can masturbate during sessions. And no, there is no sex therapy center or phone sex service quite like ours. Call us: 213-291-9497.

Orgasm Yoga

Many people practice yoga, meditation and martial arts to reach that “higher” level of being, but an orgasm instantly blasts you past anything those disciplines can achieve—and (usually) with a lot less effort. It might not last long or grant deep wisdom, but there’s no denying the physical and mental bliss that occurs in that explosive moment and in the lingering after-glow.

How about orgasm yoga? Perhaps a class like the late great Dr. Betty Dodson taught featuring lessons in arousal and orgasm control, climaxing with a naked, orgiastic group release. Talk about Hot Yoga… wow! Sounds titillating—and it sure is—but unless you are an exhibitionist, for most people, having an orgasm is a private affair.

How about a private orgasm yoga class one-on-one with just you and your orgasm yoga teacher? We can make it happen via phone, webcam or sext therapy.

To get started, call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

A Glorious Gift

Climaxing yourself is one thing (and it’s a very important thing!), but being able to give someone else body-shaking orgasms is also a wonderful skill well worth cultivating. It’s a glorious gift to your partner, not to mention a self-esteem boost for yourself. While it’s certainly true that you are not “responsible” for your partner’s orgasm, there’s no denying how good you both feel when you can help someone you care about “cum.”

Whether you’re rubbing their button, stroking their shaft, fingering their g-spot (or p-spot), grinding against their pubic bone as you penetrate their depths, squeezing their stick, whispering fantasies in their ear, or going up and down as they go in and out, the power to give pleasure is the greatest power you have.

Do you have trouble helping your lover climax? Is your partner unable to orgasm when you have sex? Do you want to improve your ability to give your lover(s) pleasure? Need some advice or inspiration? Call our Pleasure Counselors anytime at 213-291-9497.

Orgasm Issues

We believe that everyone—male, female or however you identify—can experience some kind of orgasm. Furthermore, we all have a “right” to have orgasms (though we don’t have rights to have orgasms with others, unless they consent, of course).

For various reasons, not all of us can achieve orgasm as “freely” and easily as we’d like to, and some of us have a more difficult time of it than others. This may be due to a physical problem; a relationship issue; emotional trauma from past sexual abuse; a strict, religious, anti-sex upbringing or just a lot of really bad sex.

Some women suffer from “anorgasmia,” the inability to climax. The good news is that many anorgasmic learn to have fantastic orgasms, if they really want to, with sex therapy (especially if the anorgasmia is due to trauma from past experiences), sex education, relaxation and kegel exercises, perhaps a good vibrator or, if the anaorgasmia is very severe, the help of medications and hormone treatments.

Though anorgasmia is more common among women than men, some guys, especially older males or men taking antidepressants and other medications, are anorgasmic or just have difficulties climaxing.

Sometimes it might take a long period of stimulation, more than your partner enjoys, for you to climax. You might need or desire more consistent, lengthier or more intense stimulation than your partner can even tolerate. This discrepancy in orgasmic needs can turn pleasure (orgasm) into pain and frustration for both of you.

If that sounds like your situation, maybe we can help, as we’ve helped thousands of men, women and couples every day for over 25 years. Give us a call at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you.

Many men, especially younger men, suffer from so-called “premature” ejaculation. The suffering is not in the orgasm itself, but in the shame and embarrassment often felt with a partner hoping for more. The good news is that most men naturally slow down as they age. Moreover, if you really want to learn how to keep from blowing your load before your partner is ready for it, even when you’re young, you can do it! Read “Pre-Mature Ejaculation Combat Tips & Techniques,” and try the stop-start or squeeze techniques and other suggestions. Then, if you have questions or need some personal guidance for great orgasm control—which ultimately leads to stronger, more satisfying orgasms—give us a call anytime at 213.291-9497.

Benefits of Orgasm

As if the pure pleasure of orgasm isn’t enough to make you want to cum right now, get this: climaxing is good for your health.

It’s common knowledge that orgasms relieve stress, but they also benefit your health in numerous other ways. The big O raises your heart rate—even if you do it lying down! Exercising your heart is great cardio. It’s just what the doctor ordered (though most doctors wouldn’t dare to order it). Orgasms can also reduce inflammation and sometimes completely eliminate the pain of a headache, cramps or even sinus congestion. The sexual hormones released during an orgasm are linked to lower rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. A good climax can help you fall into that deliciously deep sleep that eludes so many of us in today’s 24/7 society—and its much better for you than taking a Xanax or even a Melatonin. Regularly orgasming keeps your skin healthy and younger looking. An orgasm a day reduces the risk of prostate cancer in men. There’s even evidence that women who climax regularly during sex live longer than women who don’t.

Can more orgasms create peace on earth? Who knows, but it’s the Bonobo Way, and hey, it’s worth a try! Like the old saying goes: You can’t fight a war while you’re having an orgasm.

Orgasm is a great equalizer. Not everyone in this unfortunately unequal world of ours can be rich, powerful, beautiful (in the conventional sense) or “successful.” But everyone alive can experience an orgasm of some sort, and that’s a very valuable kind of “success” of its own.

Orgasms are amazing, maybe the most amazing life-affirming moments we living creatures can experience, but they can be tricky. There’s any number of issues that can pop up when dealing with them, just a few of which we’ve mentioned above. Whatever your issue, the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you. You can call us anytime for a totally confidential conversation about orgasm or any aspect of sex, anytime you need to talk.

Don’t miss out on the better, stronger, easier, healthier orgasms that you deserve.

Call us now at 213-291-9497.

The post ORGASM appeared first on Dr. Susan Block Institute.

There’s a new kind of PTSD: Post-Trump Sex Disorder

Institute Director Dr. Susan Block talks about this topic briefly in the September 2017 issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine as a “sudden and swift aversion to sex caused by the anger, fear and confusion you’ve absorbed from the current political climate…Women, in particular, have been hit hard by PTSD…When [Trump‘s] crude misogynistic comments were not just ignored but rewarded with the presidency, it made a lot of us feel horrible…. “

PTSD like this can be pretty grim news for our sex lives, among other things, but there is treatment… at least for your sex life. As Dr. Block advises: Turn off the “alternative facts,” and tune into real intimacy.

More practical erotic advice for combating Post-Trump Sex Disorder from Dr. Block in Cosmo: “Protests are powerful… and they can be a great aphrodisiac.”

Need to talk about your PTSD privately? The “Therapists Without Borders” of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you, providing telephone sex therapy, webcam, sext therapy and relationship counseling throughout the Trumpocalpyse. Call us at 213-291-9497 anytime.

Read Dr. Suzy’s “Post-Trump Sex Disorder(s)”

Read it on COUNTERPUNCH

READ CHAUNCEY DEVEGA’S INTERVIEW with DR. SUSAN BLOCK on POST-TRUMP SEX DISORDER & Related Topics in SALON

Perhaps you need more personalized ideas for putting healthy distance between the “fake news” and your real sex life. Maybe you need a pep talk with an emphasis on female empowerment, or a fantasy roleplay scene in which the erotic and/or political tables are turned. Then again, perhaps you are a Trump supporter who fantasizes about nonconsensual “pussy-grabbing” and/or “fire and fury,” and you crave the spanking or other type of humiliation that’s coming to you.

Regardless, rest assured that your privacy and confidentiality is absolutely guaranteed.

Need to talk with someone about something you can’t talk about with anyone else? You can talk with us. The world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, available anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day. You can call us at 213.291.9497.

The post Post-Trump Sex Disorder (PTSD) appeared first on Dr. Susan Block Institute.

by Dr. Susan Block.

Transwomen are real women. And yet….

There’s something special about a beautiful woman who knows first-hand what a man likes.

“Transgender Woman” or “MTF” (male-to-female) are the preferred, polite terms for an individual who “transitions from ‘male-to-female,’ meaning a person who was assigned male at birth, but identifies and lives as a female,” according to the National Center for Transgender Equality. Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, we support the use of these terms in most discourse, especially public forums. As advocates, allies, friends and lovers of many in the transgender community, we believe that respect is vital to those in transition, whether MTF or FTM (female to male).

And yet…

We also understand that slang terms can be more erotic for many people. In a way, it’s like using the word “cock” instead of “penis,” or “slut” instead of “sexually active individual.”

Therefore, though we tend to use the more dignified terms while engaging in serious therapy, couples counseling and discussions of real-life transitioning or transgender dating and relationships, we also use the more slang terms, such as “tranny” or “shemale,”  during erotic conversation, e.g., “dirty talk,” or fantasy roleplay.

Transwomen, trannies, T-Girls, she-males, chicks with dicks, ladyboys, gender benders,  gals with “something extra”…call them what you will (in consensual, private conversation only please!), but pre-op MTF transgender women are what some would say are “the best of both worlds.”

Perhaps you’re already imagining… a soft, feminine face with beautiful breasts… and a rock hard rod.

It’s no wonder that many people, are erotically drawn to pre-op MTF women—either being with them or becoming one of them… or maybe both.

Whether the idea of touching, sucking, rimming or being anally penetrated by a transwoman—or becoming one yourself—seriously interests or just excites you, transgender fantasies are nothing to be ashamed of.

We also totally understand you may be riddled with confusion and humiliation, tormented by your trans desires which so much of society considers “taboo.”

Whether you’re a top or bottom, genderfluid, non-binary conforming, a “genderfuck,” transboi, transgurl or questioning… or if you are interested in being with someone like that, we’re here for you.

Want to explore your forbidden longing to be with a transwoman, but not sure where to start? Gender and “identity politics” have shifted and many people are wondering how to respectfully court, date and have sex with a transgender person. Others just want to enjoy a hot fantasy. We can help you with either one or both.

We can also help if you are seriously considering gender transition for yourself and need to talk with someone knowledgeable about LGBTQ issues. Concerned about looking “passable” or sounding “femme” enough? Have you been outed as transgender at work, or does the possibility of that worry you? Are you and being harassed? Or do you want to spread your wings and fly? Call us. We can help.

Or, on the other hand, if you don’t want to transition in real life, but just imagining being a woman turns you on, we can help you enjoy a Trans MTF fantasy beyond your wildest dreams right over the phone. Then again, maybe you have no desire to fully transition, even in fantasy, but you do enjoy crossdressing, role reversal or being feminized. We can help with that too.

No matter what your problem, question or desire, rest assured that your confidentiality is absolutely guaranteed.

Need to talk with someone about something you can’t talk about with anyone else? You can talk with us. The world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, available anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day. You can call us at 213.291.9497.

The post Transgender Women appeared first on Dr. Susan Block Institute.

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626.461.5949

by Dr. Susan Block.

Do you have a secret crush on a sexy celebrity? You are not alone. Celebrity fantasizing is extremely common. Studies show that up to thirty-three percent of the human population fantasizes about famous people when masturbating. Sexual fantasies about well-known figures in film, music, politics, YouTube, fashion, sports or porn can be exciting, arousing, vicariously glamorous and sometimes even empowering. In many cases, partners can enjoy lighthearted celebrity sex fantasies together.  But for some, fantasizing about celebrities can cause tremendous shame, obsessive desires that can be difficult to manage, as well as disruption or inhibition of real-life love and happiness.

Why do you fantasize about famous people?

“But WHY am I sexually obsessed with this celebrity?” you may ask, and there are many possible answers to this question. Perhaps the object of your obsession reflects your personal ideal of what you’d like in a partner.  Then again, it could also be that the celebrity represents the opposite of the values than you were raised to uphold, which makes them “forbidden fruit,” different, desirable, erotically exotic and enticingly unattainable.  

You may feel that you know your favorite famous person better than you know your own real-life lover(s), even though you actually don’t know your beloved celebrity at all. The sheer accessibility of public figures – images, videos and details about their private lives – coupled with their actual, physical inaccessibility (some are surrounded by bodyguards) provides fertile ground for sexual fantasies to blossom.

With pornography so pervasive, it’s no wonder than many people’s fantasies revolve around adult performers, maybe even more than mainstream celebrities. Moreover, with porn stars, you get to know even more physical details, especially regarding their genitalia and erotic responses. Watching people have sex, often in close-up, as you masturbate, can make you feel incredibly close to the performer, without knowing him or her at all.

Then again, you might have intense sexual fantasies about celebrities who do not try to present themselves in an erotic light, for example, newscasters, daytime talk show hosts, famous doctors, religious leaders or professional athletes. The sky’s the limit when it comes to imagining sex among the stars.

However, not all celebrity fantasy is about having sex. Many people imagine platonic “special friend” relationships with famous people, or even familial ones.  Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, and everybody who watches a film or follows someone they don’t know on social media is, to some extent, fantasizing about celebrities. It’s when the fantasy gets “out of control” and wreaks havoc with your reality, that the illusions can become a problem for you or others.

Another form of celebrity fantasy is to imagine that you are the famous person that you admire. This could be an actor, a rock star, a porn star, a politician or a preacher. You might imagine living that person’s life instead of your own and even having sex as that celebrity, instead of as yourself. Very often, celebrity fantasies like these can be empowering, as the celebrity becomes a kind of role model in your mind. This sort of roleplay can enhance your sexual prowess and confidence. However, constantly imagining you are someone else can inhibit you from enjoying your own life.

Whether sexual, platonic, romantic or pornographic, if your celebrity fantasies are causing problems in your life, and you feel you need to talk about them, the therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you, 24/7, wherever you are, and whatever the nature of your celebrity fantasies. We can help you sort through whatever problems might arise from them, or if, on the other hand, you feel you don’t have problems with your celebrity fantasies, we can help you to explore them in various ways, including roleplay in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, over the phone or via webcam, helping you to use your celebrity fantasies to enhance your own sexuality, and maybe even improve your life.  Call us anytime you need to talk at 213-291-9397.

Who knows, we might even be able to get you together – on the phone, cam or in person – with the celebrity of your dreams. We know a lot of people in Hollywood and around the world, and we’ve done it before. No guarantees, but it’s also true that almost everyone has a price… especially celebrities.

What if your celebrity fantasies are ruining your life?

Does your fantasy of a spicy threesome with David and Victoria Beckham make your real sex life pale in comparison? With Brangelina broken up, do you dream or making either of them whole again, to the point that what happened to them is on the verge of happening to you?

Perhaps you’re more dazzled by the more flagrant allure of porn stars. Is your interest in penetrating every hole of Penthouse Pet Layla Sin or your MILF fantasy with Nina Hartley putting a damper on your desire for your real life partner? Do you want to play with Isiah Maxwell’s 11 inch joystick so bad that you can’t find joy in what you have?

Maybe politicians turn you on. Do you imagine exchanging tighty-whitey shots with Anthony Weiner? Or maybe you yearn to have your own ‘Lewinsky’ moment, but include Hillary in the party this time? Even if you want to hump Trump… no topic is off limits in the Erotic Theater of the Mind. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

Then again, maybe your constant fantasizing about Kim leaving Kanye to start a new family with you is ruining the family you actually have. Would you rather masturbate alone to your fantasies about your crush than share intimacy with your partner? Do you find that you can’t get aroused without focusing on your fantasy? No, it doesn’t mean you’re a “sex addict.” But you might need some experienced and understanding help with sorting things out, which we can provide here at the Block Institute.

Some other markers to help you decide if you need help are:

– if you can’t concentrate on your work because your mind is filled with your favorite celebrity

– if you shun most social contact, preferring isolation so you can be alone with your fantasy

– if you find yourself feeling very emotional about your celebrity crush, such as being jealous of their real-life partner, angry that they never respond to you on social media or depressed that they are not part of your real life

– if you are spending hours stalking your crush online or in real life, trying to physically go places where you think they will be

– if you feel guilty about your fantasies, as if you’re cheating on your actual partner

Though celebrity fantasies are usually harmless and can even be beneficial, “celebrity worship syndrome” (defined, in part, by the above markers) is an obsessive disorder in which the “worshipper” becomes perilously involved with the details of a celebrity’s personal life. Obviously stalking your favorite famous person is dangerous, criminal and could land you in jail. But the fallout from your celebrity obsession could be more subtle than that.

Whether your erotic obsession is with Bonnie Rotten or Pope Francis, if that “ideal” is keeping you from connecting with someone real, remember: The Ideal is the Enemy of the Real. And consider: you might benefit from some therapy.

If your fantasies are becoming problematic for you, your loved ones—or the celebrities themselves!—the therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help. Call us anytime at 213.291.9497.

What if your fantasies are contrary to your sexual orientation?

Does Woody Harrelson give you a woody even though you’re straight? Or maybe a certain ‘real housewife’ has you secretly questioning your relationship with your real husband. Enjoying homoerotic celebrity fantasies does not necessarily mean that you’d be interested in pursuing a same-sex relationship in real life. Then again, it just might…

One reason you could have same-sex celebrity fantasies is that many cultures and social constructs consider homosexuality unacceptable, and engaging in something taboo can be exciting.  On the flip side, if you identify as gay, but fantasize about straight sex with celebrities, your natural bi-curiosity does not necessarily mean that is your “true” sexual identity. That’s one of the benefits of celebrity sex fantasies: they help you to explore your sexual fluidity with someone you feel like you know, even though you really don’t, in the Erotic Theater of the Mind.

Need to talk about it? Our therapists are available to help you explore. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

Fantasizing about celebrities can be a normal and beneficial sexual outlet whether you’re single or married, male or female, young or old, straight, gay, bisexual or transsexual. There are healthy ways to explore your dreams and desires, no matter how outrageous or out-of-reach they might seem in your everyday life.

The therapists of the Block Institute provide a safe, comfortable and absolutely confidential environment to experiment with your favorite celebrity fantasies any which way you like. There are healthy ways to indulge in your fantasy life without doing harm in your real life. Imagine the fun of creating a movie in your mind with you as the star and your celebrity crush as the erotic interest – and of course you get the girl (or guy)! The experienced and understanding sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute can play out your fantasies with Erotic Theater Therapy, used in combination with other more traditional forms of sex counseling, helping you to enjoy living your Hollywood sex dream in your mind and still keep your real life on track. 

Whatever your desires, questions or concerns, we’re here to help, 24 hours a day.  Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

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by Dr. Susan Block.

A vital part of good sex involves feeling… well, sexy.  While some of that feeling is purely mental or spiritual, a large part of it is physical. That includes feeling attracted to your partner’s body, if you have a partner. And it means feeling good about your own body, whether you have a partner or not.

Do you feel good about your body? Do you feel sexy in your skin? Or do you have “body image” issues that interfere with your ability to relax and enjoy yourself during sex?

Anxious About Your Body… or Body Parts?

“Body image issues” encompass a wide spectrum of concerns and worries that plague women, men and transgender people of all ages, creeds and colors, in every culture around the globe. For most of us, these are relatively trivial concerns, but for some, body image issues morph into body shame, weighing us down to the point that we feel that we can’t pursue or enjoy sex at all.

Do you have a body image issue? Perhaps you feel you are too heavy or too thin, too tall or too short. A woman might worry that her breasts are too small or too large, that her thighs are too wide, her butt is too narrow, her face is too old or her feet are too big, and the list goes on.

A man is more likely to be anxious about his height, and an even more common male concern is that his penis is not big enough. Freud said women had “penis envy,” but it’s more often men who are envious of other men’s members, especially when they are larger, or perceived to be larger. This is another body image issue that has a lot to do with perception. Even men with average or above-average-sized endowments may feel deep shame and a sense of humiliation over what they perceive to be sexual inadequacies.

Transgender people might fret that they can’t “pass,” that they have too much or too little body hair, that they are not feminine or masculine enough to fit the ideal that’s in their mind of the gender to which they are transitioning.

While it’s good to have ideals in life, some physical ideals can drive us crazy with debilitating anxiety, impossible goals and enervating shame. After all, the ideal is the enemy of the real, especially when it comes to sex and love.

Has someone in authority criticized your body or body parts? Have they judged you, made demeaning comments, touched or lusted after your body inappropriately or uncomfortably when you were a child? Then you’re more likely to have body image issues, especially if you’re trying to conform to unrealistic ideals.

Hollywood & Porn

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying Hollywood entertainment or pornography, and doing so doesn’t make you a “romance junkie” or “sex addict.” However, both tend to exacerbate our body image issues. Millions of women look at film stars and feel unattractive by comparison. A similar amount of men tend to compare themselves to porn stars, usually coming up short—literally—or so they feel.

Most of us harbor insecurities about how we appear to others, as well as frustration with how we look to ourselves. It’s only human to be a bit dissatisfied with your looks and physical attributes, at least sometimes. Everybody has a body, and most of us have body image issues, at least at some point in our lives.

But if your body image issues are interfering with your ability to share and enjoy the pleasures of life, especially the joys of sex, love and affection, you might benefit from getting some perspective by talking about these issues with a good therapist who understands.

The “Therapists Without Borders” of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help you with your body image issues, as well as other sex and relationship concerns, anytime you need to talk 24/7. Call us at 213-291-9497.

Accept Yourself and Your Body

When your mind is tortured, or even just distracted, by your body images concerns, you are not able to enjoy your sexual experience to the fullest. Nor are you the best sex partner you can be.

Through various traditional and unorthodox programs and techniques, including bonobo liberation therapy, life coaching, erotic theater therapy, sensate focus, guided masturbation, erotic hypnosis and more, we can help you to accept your body as it is—with all its so-called “flaws”—so that you can start enjoying better sex and, in the process, become a better, more open and exciting sexual partner.

Need to talk about it now? We’re here for you 24/7. Call 213-291-9597 and we will put you through to a therapist who can help you with your body image issues and more.

Body Shame

Do you feel that your naked physical body is “dirty”? Maybe you don’t have problems with your body shape or size, but you do have issues of “body shame,” perhaps related to a strict, religious upbringing or other anti-sex, anti-body messages from childhood.

Sexual assault, whether in childhood or adulthood, can also tremendously affect our comfort with our bodies. It’s hard to feel good about your body when that same body has been used and abused by others, even if that abuse was in the distant past.

Sex-negativity and poor body image issues are completely understandable in a sex abuse or trauma survivor. Just knowing that, however, doesn’t make these issues much easier to handle, especially if and when they *ruin* an otherwise positive erotic experience. However, identifying your personal, problematic body image issues is the first step towards healing and empowering your sexual self.

Need to talk about it? Whether you are a survivor of religious, familial or any other kind of sexual abuse, if you want to develop a positive body image and the happy, healthy sex life you deserve, we can help. The caring, knowledgeable therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute can guide you toward enjoying a healthier relationship with your body.   And you can call us anytime, 24 hours a day, at 213-291-9497.

What About Changing Your Body for the Better?

Most body image issues are “in your head.” But if you’re truly obese, anorexic, bulimic or dangerously out of shape, perhaps you should make some changes. None of this means you should put your sex life on hold; on the contrary! Exploring your sexuality at a pace that’s right for you can help you to lose or gain weight and get healthier and fit.

Whether your change “for the better” requires moral support during your transgender process, or getting fit and healthy, our therapists are ready to assist you in making your transition to the body you desire, as well as expressing and exploring your sexuality to the fullest in the body you are in right now.

If discussing these topics is difficult for you, rest assured that you are in good hands. Our therapists are here for you, whether or not your body shame is just “in your head.” We will help you to have the best, most fulfilling sex and love life that you can have, enjoying your body, yourself and your life.

Let’s talk about it. Call us anytime at 213.2991.9497.

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by Dr. Susan Block

It’s Masturbation Month, a time to honor and extol the virtues of sex-for-one. Virtues? For centuries, masturbation has been denigrated as self-abuse. However, more and more, we are calling it what it is: self-pleasure. It feels good. And it is good. But what is it good for? A lot more than you can stuff in a hand basket. But the following are 8 great basic benefits to masturbation, wanking, jacking off, jilling off, walking the dog, polishing the pearl, spanking the monkey, dancing around the Maypole, sexual solitaire, self-pleasure or, as Doonesbury calls it, ”self-dating,” starting with the fact that….

8. Masturbation is Natural.

Bonobos do it.  So do dolphins, horses, dogs, kangaroos, porcupines and most other animals, including humans. Ultrasounds show us that many fetuses-in-utero put their tiny hands between their little legs… and masturbate.

7. Masturbation is Convenient.

As Truman Capote once wisely pointed out, “You don’t have to dress up for it.” Come as you are. The Greek philosopher Diogenes praised the extraordinary physical efficiency of masturbation: “Would to heaven that it were enough to rub one’s stomach in order to allay one’s hunger.” The folks who brought the world democracy understood the powerful, positive benefits of solo sex. So did their gods. Maybe we should too.

6. Masturbation is Ecosexual.

Though masturbation has been called “self-pollution,” it actually produces very little real pollution (unless you toss your tissues out the car window). Regardless, masturbation is a great form of population control. You won’t get pregnant from it. Do it in the great outdoors (but not in a park where you’ll get arrested), and feel at-one-with-nature. Love the Earth You Make Love On. Just watch out for the poison oak. Also, some fruits and vegetables seem shaped for masturbation. Try a nice cucumber or turnip—Nature’s Own Dildos!

5. Masturbation is Safe.

As long as you’re not playing auto-asphyxiation games or sticking lightbulbs up your rectum, you won’t get hurt. As long as you’re just using your own toys or putting condoms on the ones you share, you won’t get an STD. Even more important, you won’t hurt other people. Just in case you’re clueless about consent, masturbation keeps you from raping anyone. If you have problematic sexual desires, if you want to do illegal, immoral, nonconsensual things to people, just don’t do them! Masturbate.

4. Masturbation is Relaxing.

Partner sex is more romantic, but it can be stressful in ways that masturbation is not. Director Milos Foreman said, “What I like about masturbation: You don’t have to talk afterwards.” No pressure. Just pleasure. Much like partner sex, orgasms through masturbation can relax you deeply, release your stress and help you to get the deep rest that your body needs.

3. Masturbation is Educational.

When it comes to learning your own turn-ons physically and mentally, you can’t beat masturbation education. You can use your self-pleasure time to practice your kegels, tantric breathing or the stop-start technique. You can test new sex toys more easily when solo-sexing than when you’re with a partner. But mutual masturbation is also educational: show and tell your partner what you like. Talk about home schooling! You won’t want to play hooky from this.

2. Masturbation is Healthy.

Masturbation, especially when climaxing with a good heart-pumping orgasm, is a great cardio workout, good for your heart rate, blood pressure and brain chemistry. It also protects against yeast infections in women and prostate cancer in men, not to mention, masturbation releases mood-boosting endorphins, and it can clear your sinuses, at least temporarily. It also keeps you in shape for partner sex. “Use it or lose it!” they say, and masturbation uses it. Self-pleasure is healing in a million different ways, physical and mental. Heal your sexual shame through self-pleasure! Most importantly, masturbation will not kill you. Auto-asphyxiation notwithstanding, nobody dies from masturbation.

1. Masturbate: Know Thy Sexual Self!

Nobody talks about it, but the longest term relationship you’ll ever have with anyone is the one you have with yourself. So why not make it a good one? Masturbation enables you get to “Know Thyself” (with a hat tip to Socrates), sexually speaking. So, get into it, and get to know you. Treat yourself. Just for a few moments, focus on your pleasure without worrying about anyone else but you. Turn self-pleasure into self-love. And no, that doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you feel good. And when you feel good, you’re more likely to be good to others.

So go ahead and spank that monkey shamelessly, at least through Masturbation Month. Make love to someone you love… even if that someone is you.

And if you need a hand—a friendly, supportive, knowledgeable, sex-educational guide into your self-pleasure exploration or celebration—the sex Therapists Without Borders of the Block Institute are just a phone call away. Call 213-291-9497

© May 1, 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.

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by Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

Freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second.

Do you like to be tied up by a Dominant Mistress or Master? Do you enjoy erotic bondage, handcuffs, shackles, ropes, collars, straightjackets, spreader bars, harnesses or four of “Christian’s” grey silk ties fastened securely around your wrists and ankles? How about being blindfolded, hooded, muzzled, dominated, restrained by a ball gag, locked up in a chastity belt, strapped down to a medical examination table, put into a posture collar, led around on a leash, shut up in a cage, zipped into a sleep sack, suspended from the ceiling, put into a sling, turned into a piece of human art with beautiful Japanese Shibari rope work, tied spread-eagle to a four-poster bed or latched onto a St. Andrews’s Cross while being spanked or flogged?  Do you get aroused by bondage—in fantasy or reality… or perhaps a bit of both?

Sexy consensual bondage games are not unusual. People have been incorporating erotic restraint into sexual play since before there were people! Non-human animals, like bonobos, indulge in consensual erotic bondage games when they playfully hold each other down during sex, a fairly frequent occurrence. We know it’s “consensual” since sometimes it’s the smaller bonobo “holding down” the bigger, stronger bonobo. Humans practice consensual bondage play even more, partly because our great ingenuity has enabled us to create so many elaborate and effective bondage devices.

Though many erotica and bondage experts don’t appreciate the superficial and sometimes wrongheaded style of 50 Shades of Grey, the huge worldwide popularity of the 50 Shades books and films, has given bondage a new level of acceptance and respectability, both in mainstream society and in the media.

Nevertheless, bondage or “BDSM” (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission and Sadomasochism) is still controversial and quite taboo in most human communities, making it a very difficult world to navigate or even talk about for many people.

Whatever your bondage fantasy or reality, the world-famous telephone sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, including several BDSM specialists and experienced FemDoms, Dominant males and submissives, are just a phone call away. Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, we’re here for you. Call us now at 213.291.9497.

Exploring fantasies is a great way to start your BDSM adventures. The safe, consensual exploration of domination fantasies can be a fantastic, peaceful channel for some people’s violent impulses, preventing them from actually hurting anyone, including themselves. It can involve sexual psychodrama, safely releasing aggressive forces that lurk deep in our subconscious where they can be more destructive. BDSM can even help to reduce domestic violence. If it can help keep bonobos from killing each other, maybe it can even help humans to create peace on Earth.

While “surrender” means defeat in war or business, in LOVE or sex, surrender can be sweet, and the ultimate expression of intimate fulfillment. Since society puts such pressure on all of us–male and female–to be powerful, to achieve and to succeed, deep in our erotic imaginations, many of us may long to surrender.

In bondage (even consensual bondage), the submissive is “forced” to surrender.

This creates some very interesting sexual dynamics. The ancient Taoist masters say, “In yielding, there is strength.” In surrender, there can be power. Many strong men fantasize about surrender, about being a sex object–being seduced, spanked, pegged, ravished, even raped–“forced” to perform various sexual acts, often while in some sort of restraint.

Considering how many ladies balk at being considered sex objects (though many enjoy it too), this may sound silly to some women, but lots of men crave it, within certain boundaries, of course. Some men find that being dominated, especially when tied up, actually removes performance anxiety. After all, if you can’t move, you can’t perform, so what’s there to be anxious about?

Some guys love to struggle against their restraints, building a rush of adrenaline, then surrendering to ecstasy. It’s a form of athletic eroticism that many great athletes adore. After a big win on the football field or basketball court, they relax by “losing” to a sexy Mistress or Master who puts them in bondage and dominates them into blissfulness.

Of course, many women (and men) are frightened by a man’s submissive desires. They are afraid that because he craves surrender, he is not much of a man. They think he must be some kind of wimp or weirdo, which is one reason that many men find it difficult, if not impossible to talk about their desires for bondage or submission with the women they love.

In reality, it’s mostly high-powered men who yearn to surrender sexually.  Perhaps this is because nature seeks a balance, but many successful businessmen, weary of their responsibilities and stresses, long to be infantilized, objectified, taken advantage of, to surrender control for a brief period in their day or heavy work week, a vacation from responsibility, a chance to be a little boy again, or maybe a girl.

Many submissives just want someone sexy to push them into doing things they’re afraid to do on their own. Some find that fear increases arousal. A little fear enhances sex like a little seasoning spices your meal, but remember… too much spice spoils the meat.

Some men long to surrender to an exciting woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it–or even demand it–from them. Many enjoy anal penetration, the body’s ultimate surrender, often combined with a form of bondage. Some respond to humiliation fantasies, being “forced” to do embarrassing things, to atone for their “sin” of arousal.

Some like to be spanked. Sometimes, though not always, this is because they were spanked as children. Partly because our society is so negative about sex, many people—men and women–fantasize about being punished, or forced against their will to have sex, often involving some kind of bondage. That way, they don’t feel so responsible and can just relax and enjoy the sensations. Now, of course, just because someone has a rape fantasy does not mean they really want to be raped. Nobody really wants to be raped. But lots of people fantasize about it. And consensual bondage provides a plausible, relatively safe “setting” for such a fantasy.

A word to the wise: Learn what you’re doing before you do too much! Read books on the subject of your interest, take a class and/or study under a knowledgeable Master or Mistress.

BDSM, like mountain climbing, skydiving and driving a car, can be dangerous if not done properly. Be careful about what you do and with whom you do it.

What if your desires are more dominant? As long as your real-life activity is “safe, sane and consensual,” there’s nothing wrong with expressing your Dominant desires. But the requirement to learn what you’re doing–whether you’re putting your slave in bondage or getting her or him out of it very quickly in an emergency–is even more important when you want to dominate.Keep in mind that it may seem like the dominant partner is in control, but it should be that the submissive’s threshold of pain that is the determining factor.

In fantasy, where we use our brains and words to live out these desires in the erotic theater of the mind, these safety rules do not apply; the sky’s the limit, and you don’t even have to know how to tie a knot.

Then again, there are also different types of “emotional bondage” or “mind control,” sometimes involving erotic hypnosis, which can be just as restraining in fantasy as reality.

It can be very confusing… and arousing! So if you need to talk about it privately, whatever your bondage fantasy or reality might be, the world-famous telephone sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, including several BDSM specialists, experienced Dominants and submissives, are just a phone call away. Anytime you need to talk or webcam, 24 hours a day, we’re here for you, and you can call us at 213.291.9497.

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What is it about a pair of beautiful breasts that makes most men and a lot of women go gaga with desire?

Many an otherwise reasonable gentleman’s life virtually revolves around his pursuit of the perfect breasts (big or small, but usually big)…the supreme bazoombahs!  Gazangas!  Tatas!  Mammas!  The typical “breast man” will probably snort with denial if anyone suggests that his intense interest in a lady’s ample mammaries have anything to do with his desire to suckle up to Mama, but what does he know?  After all, the glorification of the female breast as a sex symbol, as opposed to a maternal image, is so pervasive in the West, especially in America, most of us forget that boobs are not genitalia.

Indeed, the most acceptable all-American fetish is the one so many good old boys have for ladies’ chests.  Though for some men, the adoration of the feminine bust is nothing less than the Holy Grail, it is, of course, a fetish, along the same lines as a foot or bun fetish, since the female rack is no more involved with sexual reproduction than the feet or buns.  Breasts are far more essential to nurturing than to sexual intercourse. And therein lays the infantile origin of the breast fetish.  That deep need we all have for deep nurturance.  Sustenance.  Comfort.  Food.  The breast is food, after all.  It is that unique part of a lady’s body that actually creates food—the ultimate comfort food—the milk of life and love…and fetishes.  Mmmmm….No wonder nipples are so suckable, even for grown-ups with no serious “Mommy issues”!

So what do you like about breasts (everything)?  Hard nipples? Mesmerizing areolas? Do you prefer a nice, soft, squeezable, all-natural bosom?  Or do you go for surgically enhanced “porn star boobs”?  Do you like them small, medium or large? How about XXXtra large?  Are you more turned on by bare breasts, or boobies in bras? Or do you just love the slow sensuous reveal, the tease of the striptease?  How about devastating cleavage? Pierced nipples? Lactating moo-moos? Wet T-shirt? Tied up torpedoes? Bouncing bazooms? Teenage Lewinskies or a mature MiLF’s mamaloogas? Girlfriend goombas? Do you like perky titties that seem to reach for the sky or flapdoodle boobies that swing back and forth like baby seals at play?

When you encounter a “nice pair,” what do you like to do with them?  Cuddle, suckle, tweak or kiss? Do you long to rest your weary head against a sumptuous dairy pillow?  Would you rather worship a set of sexy  breasts or slap them (consensually, of course)?  Do you enjoy intermammary intercourse, or as the Latins call it, coitus a mammalia, the act of ejaculating between the boobs?  The lady generally leans backward as the gentleman places his penis between her jugs and thrusts, the lady controlling the pressure by pushing her soft mounds together, squeezing his shaft until he gives her a  “pearl necklace.”  Or do you just like to watch a busty lady show off her assets?

One of the most famous American breast fetishists was the notably eccentric, hugely wealthy Howard Hughes. Hughes was an only child and very attached to his doting mama Allene who died when he was sixteen (fertile ground for mother issues and a breast fetish).  Hughes used his extensive power and money to seduce hundreds of big-busted showgirls and movie stars, including the famously voluptuous Jane Russell (pictured above in Outlaw), in his passionate search for the perfect pillowy bosom against which to rest his weary, mother-issue-ridden head.  After viewing rushes of Russell in Macao, Hughes wrote a three-page memo detailing what kind of bra she should wear to enhance her sumptuous bazooms.

Send us a memo on the perfect pair for you, and give us a call anytime for webcam, sext or phone sex therapy.  Whether you need help with a serious sexual problem or you’d just like to roleplay a fantasy, we’re here for you, anytime you need to talk (or webcam) 24/7.  Whatever your pleasure or concern, if you need to talk about it, you can call the breast fetish specialist  sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 626.461.5949.

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Show off!

So what if you are? We all go through life performing. Being the center of attention, erotic or otherwise, can boost your ego. On the other hand, it can also be embarrassing. It is always, at its essence, revealing.

Some people spend their careers in the spotlight, like athletes, comedians, actors… and that special class of actors… no, not reality TV stars—porn stars—the most uninhibited exhibitionists of all. They know full well the erotic charge of exposing their bodies, alone or in explicit performance with someone else, for an appreciative audience.

But what about you?  Do you ever feel like you want to be a star, sexually speaking? Do you like to show off? To show it off?  What does it mean to be seen? 

To be seen is to be immortal, if only for a moment, through the eyes of another.  Triumphant. Shining like a star.  Recognized. Celebrated. For that moment, you rule the world.

Or maybe you’re a more mischievous exhibitionist. Do you like to play? Shake your booty? Strike a sultry pose for the camera? Strut your stuff through cyberspace? Undress in front of your window with the curtains open?  Get “caught in the act” of doing something naughty?

Do you fantasize that people are watching you, whether you’re by yourself or with someone else, engaging in the most intimate and erotic of human activities? How about exposing yourself to a stranger?  How about millions of strangers clicking their mice in rhythm to your thunderous orgasm?  Marilyn Monroe fantasized about being nude on the pulpit of her Church worshiped by the congregation.  So, what about you?  Are you Marilyn? 

If so, there are places for you to take it off for an appreciative audience.  Maybe not too many churches, but there are lots of strip clubs, swing parties, The Dr. Susan Block Show, festivals, parades, nudist beaches and many other venues and events centered around the promotion and consensual enjoyment of public exhibitionism.  Here is where your exhibitionism, as long as you are reasonably attractive, will be welcome and applauded.

But what if you’re not exactly Marilyn?  What if you’re not so attractive, at least not in the conventional sense, but you still yearn to show off like a shining star?  What should you do?  And what if your preferred form of exhibitionism involves exposing yourself where you’re not necessarily so “welcome,” where exposure is taboo?  What if you’re excited by the possibility of getting caught with your proverbial pants down? What if you’re a “naughty exhibitionist”?

Well….are you a naughty exhibitionist?  Have you ever masturbated with your door unlocked, knowing that at any moment your roommate, your sister, the babysitter, your neighbor, your wife’s best friend, the maid, your executive assistant, your mother-in-law or even your mom, could walk in and find you jerking away? How shocked would she be? Can you imagine the look on her face?  Maybe she’d like it… maybe it would even turn her on, and then maybe it would turn into the most amazing sex you’ve ever had.  Then again, maybe she’d be upset and punish, dominate or humiliate you in a really hot way, spank you or maybe crossdress you or take a photo of you and post it online.  Then again, maybe not… In fantasy, it might always be exciting, but in real life, it can turn into a real mess…

Not that there’s anything really wrong or unethical about public exposure or masturbation, at least not in our opinion, as long as only consenting adults are involved.  It might be annoying, but it doesn’t really hurt others, like stealing, assault, or other violent crimes do. But most societies consider “public indecency” a crime by law and, if you do get caught showing off in the real world, you know it wouldn’t be anywhere near as fun as the fantasy. Court time, court costs, jail time, public ridicule (which is very different and a lot more problematic than a “public disgrace” or humiliation fantasy) or, possibly the loss of your job, or family. Not very arousing or appealing, is it?

When politicians show off their exhibitionism, publicly or privately, they risk “public disgrace” in various forms.  One of the most dramatic stories of political erotic exhibitionism is right in the Bible. In 2 Samuel 6:12-22, after King David captures Jerusalem, he dances in front of the Ark, wearing nothing but a loincloth (the Biblical version of a thong). Though David pleases the crowd with his exhibitionist antics and gifts of cake and dates, his wife Michal sneers at him like he’s no better than a Peeping Tom. “How the King of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

David doesn’t care. He is the King, after all. The exhibitionist revelations of modern leaders—from Weiner to Trump—are a lot more complex.

So this simple desire to be seen is not always so simple to fulfill.  Do you know what we mean?  Do you enjoy exhibitionism?  Do you need to talk about it? Whether you need serious therapy to help you control your desire to expose yourself nonconsensually, a fun fantasy to help you explore the pleasures of exhibitionism, or if there’s something else you need to talk about, the world-renowned webcam and telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are just a phone call away.  You can talk to Dr. Block herself or to one of our other therapists, each excellent in her or his specialty.  You can also arrange for an in-person appointment at our offices in Los Angeles, and our webcam, sext and phone sex therapy services are open anytime 24/7.  Call us from anywhere in the world at 626.461.5949. 

And yes, you can masturbate, if you want, during sessions.  And no, there is no other sex therapy or phone sex service quite like ours.  Our form of sex therapy is unique in that we can discuss and help you with your real-life situations, and/or we can enter the Erotic Theater of the Mind (your mind or ours, or a combination) and roleplay your exhibitionistic fantasies—even the forbidden kind that would get you into serious trouble if acted out in real life.  In fact, one of our specialties is “the forbidden,” the stuff you can’t talk about to anyone else.  After all, pretty much everything is safe on the phone—where you can close your eyes and fantasize the wildest scenes possible through the hidden camera of your imagination. Moreover, your secrets are safe with us.  Therapy with the Institute is completely private, discreet and confidential.  Of course, we can’t tell you their names, but we count many celebrities and world leaders among our clients, so we understand the importance of strict confidentiality.  We have been around and we intend to stay around, and we value your privacy as we value our reputation.

Exhibitionist phone sex therapy is fun, satisfying, edifying, defuses problematic desires (so you’re less likely to get into trouble) and often leads to great insights into your sexuality and other aspects of your deeper self.  We’ve found the phone—private, intimate and essentially non-visual—to be an excellent vehicle for this kind of erotic insight.  Then again, exhibitionism is primarily a visual interest, and you can also enjoy a very personal exhibitionistic experience tailored to your desires with one of our webcam sex therapists.

Whatever your exhibitionistic pleasure or problem, we’re here for you, 24/7, every day and night, including holidays, whether you need to talk…or be watched.  Give us a call anytime at 626.461.5949.

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“All the world’s a stage” (Shakespeare’s As You Like It), on which some of us love to play, and some of us prefer to watch. The players tend to get the glory, but without an audience there’s not much of a show.

Let’s face it: lots of us like to watch. We’re not talking Shakespeare here, though that can be erotic as well… we’re talking about sex. We’re talking about the thrill of watching another’s most intimate activities, getting turned on by seeing someone else get turned on.

Would you say this is you? If so, you might be a voyeur. Everyone’s a little bit of one, at least. We can all get turned on by the sight of something or someone really sexy.  But some of us are more voyeuristic than others.  Some of us like to cultivate our voyeuristic tendencies like wine connoisseurs cultivate their palettes, tasting different vintages.  Perhaps you like to look through the silver screen into erotic worlds you’ve never seen. Maybe it’s a film or a digital stream on your computer or phone. Porn, after all, is the most common kind of erotic voyeurism going on in the modern world. And despite its popular explosion in the early 21st Century, visual erotica has been with us since humanity first started cave painting.

Then again, maybe you like to see it live, perhaps in a strip club, or fantasize about the quintessential live sex performance, with you sitting back like a sultan with your harem of exhibitionistic sex performance artists titillating your fancy in every way imaginable to delight your eyes and ears.  Then again, maybe your favorite type of voyeurism is a bit more secretive. Do you like to sneak a peak through a keyhole, a hole in a shower wall or up through the floorboards of an old porch, like a child discovering something naughty?  Do you like to look through your neighbor’s window, catching them in an intimate moment: a couple arguing and then making passionate love, a he-man flexing his naked muscles in his home gym, a beautiful woman undressing alone in her bathroom, stepping into the Jacuzzi, spreading her legs and masturbating to an aquatic orgasm on one of the ferociously whirling jets?  Or do you like to combine exhibitionism and voyeurism, and just watch yourself in the mirror?

What does it mean to be seen?  To be seen is to be a star.  A sex symbol–immortal, if only for a moment.  So what about seeing?  To see is to glimpse a special secret, to go behind the curtain, to gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, and sexual knowledge is sexual power.  No wonder you feel so excited and even powerful when you see someone or something special in a sexual way.  No wonder we all can appreciate the erotic pleasures of voyeurism.

The passive delights of voyeurism are especially popular among the rich and powerful. Pope Alexander IX was one of history’s most decadent voyeurs.  That’s right, a Catholic pope was openly enjoying banquets such as what follows, as described by his master of ceremonies Burchard, Bishop of Ostia: “Fifty reputable courtesans supped at the Vatican…and after supper they danced about with the servants and others in that place, first in their clothes and then nude…candelabras and lighted candles were set on the floor and chestnuts were strewn about and the naked courtesans on hands and feet gathered them up, wriggling in and out among the candelabras…Then all those present in the hall were carnally treated in public… The pope gave prizes to the men who copulated the most times with the courtesans.”  Pope Alexander IX of the notorious Borgia family ruled the Catholic faithful from 1492 until his death in 1503 and was known for his libertine pleasures as well as for his relatively benign treatment of Jews, slaves and others.  Possibly all that voyeuristic entertainment helped to make him more “Catholic,” at least in the liberal, compassionate sense of the word. Other famous voyeurs from the annals of history include Lord Byron, Casanova, Charlie Chaplin, King Farouk, Errol Flynn, Maxim Gorki, Victor Hugo, Martin Luther and the notorious Marquis de Sade.

Some call voyeurs “Peeping Toms,” stemming from the medieval story of Lady Godiva—obviously an aristocratic exhibitionist—who rode through town naked to protest her husband Lord Godiva’s unfair taxing of the townspeople (a bleeding heart liberal show-off if ever there was one). All the townspeople were supposed to close their shutters and not look upon the naked Lady on her horse. But one naughty, rather horny young man named Tom couldn’t resist taking a peep (can you blame him?), so that’s where we get the term “Peeping Tom.”

Though the word “voyeur” comes from the French, voir, “to see”, let’s not forget it really encompasses more than just the eyes. Sound is a big part of the pleasure of sensual observation.  Ever find yourself overhearing the muffled moans of a housemate or neighbor banging away across the hall? Maybe you put your ear up to the door for more? Perhaps you’ve passed by an open window and had to stop yourself, listening to the excited breathing, a headboard hitting the wall, heightened voices… coming from just beyond. Did it turn you on? How could it not? Feelings are contagious, after all, and sound transports feelings, especially if the sound is someone sighing or crying out in ecstasy.

Speaking of feelings, do you need to talk about your voyeuristic desires, experiences or fantasies?  Are your voyeuristic feelings getting you into trouble—or on the verge of trouble?  Are you watching “too much” porn—maybe to the point that you feel (or someone you love feels) you are “addicted”?  Are you spending so much time watching that you have no time or energy to actually do anything with your sex life?  Would you sometimes rather just watch porn than have sex with your lover, even if she’s right in your bed waiting for you?  Are you looking at stuff that’s illegal?  Are you spying on someone without their consent?  Do you find yourself going to strip clubs instead of doing the hard work of playing the dating game?  Are you spending all your money on erotic entertainers who dominate you, turning you into a helpless “money slave” to their demands?  Are they humiliating you, cuckolding you and taking advantage of your voyeuristic needs?  Has your voyeurism morphed into cheating?  Are you doing things that make you feel ashamed and guilty afterwards?  Are your natural voyeuristic desires spiraling out of control?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you would greatly benefit by talking with someone who understands your desires and can help you regain control and keep them from ruining your life—without being forced to “abstain” or give up the natural, positive pleasures of voyeurism.  This is a specialty of ours here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute.  Many “regular” sex therapists aren’t comfortable addressing these topics, or perhaps you don’t feel comfortable talking to a regular therapist about your most personal feelings.  Whatever your concerns, rest assured, you can talk to us. World-renowned sexologist Dr. Susan Block, a Yale graduate with two doctorates, and the therapists of the Institute, are all excellent in their various fields, utilizing telephone sex therapy to listen, talk to you and help you deal with all your voyeuristic pleasures, problems, questions and desires.  You can talk to us about anything, and usually we can help, as we have helped people all over the world for over two decades.

And yes, you can masturbate, if you like, during sessions.  And, no, there is no other sex therapy or phone sex service quite like ours.  Our form of sex therapy is unique in that we can discuss and help you with your real-life situations, and/or we can enter the Erotic Theater of the Mind (your mind or ours or a combination) and roleplay your voyeuristic fantasies—even the forbidden kind that would get you into serious trouble if you acted them out in real life.  In fact, one of our specialties is “the forbidden,” the stuff you can’t talk about to anyone else.  After all, pretty much everything is safe on the phone—where you can close your eyes and fantasize the wildest scenes possible through the hidden camera of your imagination. Moreover, rest assured that your secrets are safe with us.  Therapy with the Institute is completely private, discreet and confidential.  Of course, we can’t tell you their names, but we count many celebrities and world leaders among our clients, so we understand the importance of strict confidentiality.  We have been around and we intend to stay around, and we value your privacy as we value our reputation.

Voyeuristic phone sex therapy is fun, satisfying, edifying, defuses desires (so you’re less likely to get into trouble) and often leads to great insights into your sexuality and other aspects of your deeper self.  We’ve found the phone—private, intimate and essentially non-visual—to be an excellent vehicle for this kind of erotic insight.  Then again, voyeurism is primarily a visual interest, and you can also enjoy a very personal voyeuristic experience tailored to your desires with one of our webcam sex therapists.

Whatever your voyeuristic pleasure or problem, we’re here for you, 24/7, every day and night, including holidays, whether you need to talk…or just watch.  Give us a call anytime at 626.461.5949.

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Do you seek a more spiritual approach to sexuality?

Are you dissatisfied with the sex-negative dogma of most organized religions, yet not entirely comfortable with the crass, objectifying, even soul-deadening lack of intimacy involved in most non-spiritual approaches to sex?

Do you want to find “pure bliss” in this lifetime? Do you desire erotic enlightenment?  Do you long to feel the deepest connection between your body and your partner’s, or between the universe inside and outside of you? Would you like to experience better, more frequent, and longer orgasms? Full-body orgasms? Touch-free orgasms? Or are orgasms not really the point for you? Do you yearn for the kind of soul-enlivening intimacy that can only be called “spiritual”?

Are you striving to make sex more than just a path to orgasm, more even than just something “enjoyable”? Do you have a sense that there is a more intense pleasure and deeper understanding and connection available through sex than you have yet experienced? Do you long to practice a more “sacred” sexuality?  Or, perhaps your desires are more down to earth… perhaps you are seeking a real solution to a real physical problem. Then again, maybe you are just curious by nature, and are eager to explore new regions of erotic knowledge and understanding.

In any case, if the answer to more than one of the above questions is “yes,” you would benefit from learning something about Tantric Sex.

Although there are many definitions, Tantra is a body of beliefs, practices, and teachings aimed at expanding consciousness, enhancing interconnectedness, and weaving the different natures of the universe into an integrated whole. In fact, the word “tantra” means “weaving,” and tantric ritual seeks to weave the supra-mundane or spiritual with the mundane or physical, identifying the microcosm with the macrocosm.  The Tantric practitioner uses yoga, mantras, mudras, mandalas, chakras, yantras and other systems to attempt to manipulate prana, an energy that flows through the universe (inside and outside of one’s own body) to attain goals that may be spiritual, material or both.

“Tantric Sex” forms a subdomain of this overall tradition that weaves the spiritual with the material. Some call tantric sex “neotantra,” identifying it as the “new age” variation or modern Western interpretation of traditional Eastern Hindu and Buddhist tantra. Tantric sex uses special mind and body techniques to cultivate ecstatic consciousness as well as increased spiritual awareness of the erotic consciousness that pervades one’s human nature.  Tantric sexual methods may be practiced alone, in partnership, or in the sacred sex rituals of groups.

Tantric sexual practices aren’t “just” about heightened consciousness.  They certainly have immediate, tangible benefits: they can make you more anatomically flexible, and can help solve many physical sexual problems. Tantric sex techniques can be a great help to women who have difficulty experiencing orgasm, men with premature ejaculation tendencies and couples who wish to attain more intimacy through sex. These practices can greatly help people to “slow down,” breathe deep and discover new and exciting sexual positions and techniques. Tantric practice can literally breathe new life into your sexuality.

However, Tantra is also about going even deeper…about connecting with the sexuality of your partner (whatever their sex, and whatever way you swing), and connecting with the orgasmic sexuality of the entire universe. Tantric sex practices not only teach us ways of prolonging and enhancing the pleasure of making love, but of utilizing potent orgasmic energies more effectively for your overall health, enlightenment and well-being. This is not only to increase your individual awareness and understanding, but that of the people around you. Overall tantric philosophy focuses on enhancing compassion and consciousness, so as to serve, heal and help others: one of the greatest pleasures in life. Indeed, serving, healing and helping others is exactly what the Block Institute is all about.

Dr. Susan Block, the founder of the Institute, has studied and practiced various forms of Tantra since she was a freshman at Yale University where she meditated and practiced Kundalini yoga and advanced deep breathing techniques for an hour every day before class.  She went on to study at Tantric ashrams and communities in Kathmandu, Nepal and Dharamsala, India, as well as with the late Tibetan Tantric Meditation Master Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, eminent embodiment of the “crazy wisdom” (Tibetan: yeshe chölwa) tradition of Tibetan Buddhism, and other Tantric masters and practitioners at Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado.  She has also studied the work of Guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh aka Osho, and follows Margot Anand’s “Skydancing Tantra,” Annie Sprinkle’s “Tantric Massage,” Diana Daffner’s “Tantric Sex for Busy Couples,” Dr. Judy Kuriansky’s “Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex” and Barbara Carrellas’ “Urban Tantra” and the harnessing of ecstasy.

Dr. Block and some of our other more Tantra-skilled therapists here at the Institute can help you with your questions about this ancient and yet thoroughly modern philosophy of the erotic mind and body. We teach many Tantric practices and principles, as well as provide a Tantric Sexual Experience, with a customized combination of Erotic Hypnosis, Guided Masturbation, Erotic Theater Therapy:  Fantasy Roleplay, Bonobo Liberation Therapy, Sensual Domination, Sex Therapy, Phone Sex Therapy and Tantric techniques.  We teach and practice Tantra over the phone, on webcam and via text and provide in-person Tantric sex education classes and tutorials for some of our regular phone and webcam clients.

If you’re interested in Tantra or any kind of deep, meaningful sexuality, we’re here for you.  And you can talk with us any time of day or night, any day of the week, even holidays.  We’re ready to teach you, learn from you, guide you, serve you and heal you. We’re here to take your sexuality to a higher level physically and spiritually.  Don’t worry about concepts that seem complex or foreign, or even if you feel you’re far from the spiritual state you think you ought to be in.  We understand. And we’re here to help. It’s easy to talk to us, and you’ll be surprised how good you’ll feel when you do—body, mind and soul.

Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 626.461.5949. We’re open 24/7, and we’re here for you.

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Do penises turn you on? (It’s okay, you can admit it… to us.) Do you find yourself thinking about, visualizing, or  fantasizing about them (or one in particular), either a lot, or just a little? Maybe you spend time seeking out the male member in online or other forms of pornography. Maybe you’re considering having a physical, sexual encounter with one in real life (and we don’t mean just your own). Maybe you already have. Maybe it was recently, maybe it was from long ago… perhaps in your childhood, be it friendly or sensual, and now you’re thinking about it again.  Maybe you’re considering looking but not touching…or maybe more.

Attraction by a male to the penis of another male is quite common, and comes in an amazing number of variations. It could be just in the context of women; perhaps the idea of a threesome with a hot girl and another guy turns you on. You may have a cuckolding fantasy or a desire to be humiliated.  Maybe you like to watch women, but find lesbian porn a little boring.  You’d rather see the woman having sex with a guy… yep, there’s that penis.  That doesn’t make you weird or gay or even necessarily bi.  Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay or bi, but lots of straight men are turned on by looking at cocks. One reason that straight male/female porn is the most popular form for straight guys to watch is that most straight guys enjoy watching a hot woman having sex with a well-hung dude.  And the dude himself usually isn’t all that important.  It’s the penis.

You might be more turned on when this penis is very large and super hard, attached to a strong, muscular, dominant “real man” who knows how to use it.   Then again, maybe you like a penis attached to someone that looks and acts like a female, aka a trans or gender-fluid person… with a penis.  Maybe you want to worship what you imagine to be a “superior” penis, or let both your cocks and balls compete in a “sperm war.”  Maybe you enjoy being penetrated by a finger or pegged by a strap-on dildo, but feel a penis can do more for you.  Maybe your desire for the penis is oral.

Maybe sex isn’t even a part of it… perhaps you are simply fascinated by another man’s member, for reasons which aren’t just about lust.  Think about all the phallic objects in the world—from cannons to columns, skyscrapers to obelisks—most of it manmade, and you might realize how many other guys through history have had a bit of a penis fetish.

Either way, in today’s world, even with increasing tolerance for homosexuality, bisexuality, and a healthy sexual curiosity, the same sex attraction to a penis is still stigmatized by a cultural subtext that labels it “deviant.” Even labeling things as simplistically as “gay” or “straight” can actually serve to diminish our understanding, not to mention our pleasure.  The truth may be that human sexuality is nuanced, varied, and runs a wide gamut, taking on an infinite variety of forms. But “truth” and “reality” don’t always coincide. So you may find it challenging—to say the least–to work out your feelings or desires, realized or not, when it comes to your interest in penises.

Think about how many guys engaged in games that involved comparing members as little kids. Many go further… touching, playing and performing with them…after all, with a healthy curiosity comes a curiosity about sex, and our bodies. For some, the curiosity was just that. For others, it led to deeper, more long lasting feelings and desires. Now, after some time, maybe you still feel the need to satisfy some unfulfilled urge. Perhaps you want to know how to do this in your life, or maybe you want to gain control over those desires or just work out very confused feelings.

Over all, you just might need to talk with someone who understands and can help you sort out your feelings. Simply trying to repress these feelings can lead to your brain frying, as evidenced by all the closet “homosexuals” recently emerging in the harsh glare of the media from, say, the Republican Party, or the priesthood of the Catholic Church. All the inordinate time spent hypocritically railing against and oppressing feelings that are quite normal can lead to those unexpressed needs and wants festering and mutating until they cause real damage and pain… hence all the scandals that plague many of our most venerated institutions.

Whatever desires you have, if you want to simply learn more about them and what they mean, or if you are concerned that they are “deviant” (they’re not) or that you are “gay” or “bi,” you should know that nothing is wrong, and that we are here to help you cope with your feelings and your situation, your fantasies and your reality. If you just want to explore the aural pleasures of a penis-oriented, sexpert-guided masturbation or erotic hypnosis session, that’s also available to you.  Many of our male and female therapists have penis fetishes themselves, and have been through many growth experiences learning about this endlessly fascinating subject.  Speaking of fascinating, the Latin root of that word is fascinum, a penis-shaped amulet that ancient Roman men and women wore on necklaces for good luck.

But back to you.  Do you need to talk about this?  Whether you’re looking for serious therapy or a hot phone sex experience, you can talk to us.  In our work, we’ve talked to thousands of people of all kinds in different situations from many different places and cultures around the world—all strictly confidential.  We wouldn’t say we’ve “heard it all,” but we’ve heard a LOT. We don’t judge you. We help you.  If you don’t feel “normal”, if you need advice, or just want to express yourself, you can call us anytime.  Don’t be embarrassed.  You’d be amazed at the number of seemingly “mainstream” people who have hidden desires like this under the surface. Even if you’ve never really talked about this before, you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to talk with us, and how good you’ll feel when you do. Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 626.461.5949. We’re open 24/7, and we’re here for you.

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Virgin, huh? That’s got to be tough. Whether by choice or by circumstance (or both), the overwhelming mythology we subscribe to in today’s society is that it’s the norm to lose your virginity by the time you’re out of your teens. Even as prudish, vanilla, hypocritical, and somewhat oppressed as some parts of this society may be, this is the undercurrent of the modern world. Maybe it shouldn’t be that way, and maybe some people are happy as virgins. Maybe you’re one of them! Even so, if you’ve reached your 20s and you still haven’t had sexual intercourse, for better or worse, you’re considered “outside the norm.”

This has to impart some psychological toll. You might feel like a throwback, an outcast, a loser, confused or just plain frustrated.  Maybe you want desperately to lose your virginity, but don’t know how, under your circumstances. Maybe you’re not so eager, but you still want to talk about your feelings, desires and options with someone who understands and isn’t going to judge you or make you feel awkward. Perhaps you’re not sure what you want; you just know you need to communicate, to sort it all out.  But you’d feel weird talking about this to friends or family, let alone clergy, and understandably so.  You may not even feel comfortable discussing this with a regular therapist or counselor.  But you know you need to talk about it with someone with expertise and compassion, someone who can help you.

That’s what we’re here for at The Dr. Susan Block Institute. We’re cutting-edge sex therapists, and we talk to all types of people, with all types of sexual problems, issues, questions, kinks, desires, fantasies, fetishes and hang-ups. In fact, some of us have been through many of these issues ourselves. We speak from personal experience as well as professional expertise.  Dr. Susan Block and her team has helped thousands of men and women from all over the world, including a number of sexual virgins.

If you want to “lose” your virginity, we can help you to find an appropriate and desirable sexual partner, just as we’ve helped so many others in similar situations—sometimes after decades of trying with no luck (some of these have gone on, in fact, to become sexual dynamos)!

If, on the other hand, you want to remain a virgin—perhaps until marriage or maybe for life—we can help you to cope with your sexual feelings, frustrations, beliefs and fantasies in a positive, pleasurable and enlightening way.  Just because you stay a virgin doesn’t mean you have to be sexless or lonely. No matter what your particular situation, being a sexual virgin shouldn’t be a life sentence to emotional solitary confinement.

Does being a virgin or the fantasy of being a virgin, or perhaps being “deflowered,” turn you on?  What about the other side of the virgin sex coin? Do you have a “virgin fetish”? Do you want to do the deflowering? Does the sexual inexperience and erotic innocence of virginity turn you on? The “virgin fetish” has captivated the erotic minds of billions of men and quite a few women since the dawn of civilization. It’s one of humanity’s more common fetishes. And yet it can be extremely problematic, since once you’ve deflowered your virgin, he or she is no longer a virgin. So where do you go from there? Fantasy roleplay is a safe and exciting alternative. Therapy to help you understand where your virgin fetish comes from and how to handle it, also helps

Whatever your circumstances, whether you are a virgin, you fetishize virgins or you just had sex in the tiny WC of Virgin Airlines, whether you want to make a change, explore a fantasy or you just need to talk, you can talk to us.  For telephone sex therapy, webcam, sext therapy from anywhere in the world, or for in-person counseling at our offices in Los Angeles, you can call us anytime.  We’re here for you every day, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Call us now!  Whenever you need to talk, you can call the sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 626.461.5949.

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Premature Ejaculation is most often described as the inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. It is an extremely common condition for men around the world. So if you suffer from the humiliation and frustration of premature ejaculation (or if your partner does), rest assured that you are not alone. Virtually all males experience premature ejaculation at some time in their lives, usually when they are young. But for many, “coming too fast” remains an ongoing problem, even into old age. Sometimes, ironically, it accompanies impotence and other forms of erectile dysfunction.

Your first premature ejaculation experience can be laughed off as “no big deal,” or it can be so traumatic that you find yourself dropping your bombs before you reach your target again and again. Luckily, there are several fairly simple “cures” for what I call Sexual Quick Draw McGraw Syndrome. With a little understanding, technique, help and practice, you can safely and naturally banish the heartbreaking embarrassment of premature ejaculation forever from your sexual life.

Let’s start with understanding. The Boston Medical Group estimates the premature ejaculation prevalence rate in American males as from 30-70%. Why are these figures so high? Why is premature ejaculation so common? Why is it that most men will prematurely ejaculate at some points in their sex lives, and why do so many do it almost constantly?

Here’s the bottom line in terms of evolutionary biology: Premature ejaculation is natural. It may even be more natural for a man, especially a young man, to come “too” quickly than to control his orgasm long enough to make sex satisfying for himself and his partner. Nature favors premature ejaculators, guys that pop their loads into the next generation before the gal can get away. Those males who come as fast as possible, that is, before the female changes her mind or predators – ancient saber-toothed cats or modern-day parents – arrive to ruin the mood, have tended to reproduce more than guys who take their time. After all, a woman doesn’t need to have an orgasm to get pregnant, nor does the man have to feel like a stud. He just needs to ejaculate inside of her at the right time of month, his potent sperm penetrating her fertile egg. So despite how mortified he might be or how frustrated she might feel, as far as natural reproduction is concerned, the sooner he comes inside her, the better.

But just because premature ejaculation is natural doesn’t mean it’s desirable.

After all, sex isn’t just about procreation; it’s about recreation. It’s also a form of communication. What do you communicate to your partner when you produce the juice before you put it in her caboose? The first time, you could be communicating, “You’re so hot I just couldn’t control myself!” In that sense, one or two episodes of premature ejaculation can be a bittersweet “compliment” to Mr. Quick Draw’s partner who could be considered a “Premature Ejaculation Inducer.” But if you come too fast time and again, you start communicating anxiety, insensitivity and other not-so sexy messages.

More stats from Boston Medical: The average man can usually control ejaculation for 6-10 minutes after penetration. However, the average woman needs approximately 15-20 minutes of sexual activity before she can experience orgasm. By these standards, the entire male race needs to learn how to better prolong erection and sexual stamina.

In a sexually civilized society, gentlemen would be educated in the art and science of ejaculation control. How else are you guys going to learn? After all, someone had to toilet train you, right? But nobody ejaculation-trained you. Unless you’re one of the lucky ones…

Over the years, I have “ejaculation-trained” thousands of men from all over the world. And no, I haven’t had the pleasure of having sex with them all. Most ejaculation training takes place over the phone during the process I call telephone sex therapy. Through deep relaxation, guided masturbation, anatomical education, PC muscle exercise training, erotic hypnosis, fantasy roleplay and other techniques, I help men of all ages last longer, please their partners and wind up with a much bigger orgasmic ejaculation than they ever experienced as Sexual Quick Draw McGraws.

1. Grow Up: Premature Ejaculation is most common among young men. If you are under twenty-five, and you’re quick on the trigger, the good news is that you’ll probably slow down as you get older. The “bad” news is that if you want to be a great lover while you’re young and virile, you need to learn a thing or two about discipline. Keep in mind that experience is the greatest teacher. Practice, practice, practice! Older men with premature ejaculation problems tend to lack much sexual experience.

2. Come Again: If you’re young, you may ejaculate sooner than you’d like, but you might also be able to get hard again soon after you’ve come. If so, then don’t worry so much about “premature ejaculate.” Just come naturally, then engage in other forms of lovemaking while you build up towards another erection. This second time around, you are likely to last longer simply because you have less fluid in your seminal vesicles and less urgency to release it. You can “trick” your system by masturbating a few hours before your sexual encounter, so that your urge to come is not so urgent. You can also take Viagra to insure that even after you ejaculate, you’ll have a hard-on. However, I don’t recommend taking Viagra if you don’t have serious erectile dysfunction, because you can easily develop a psychological dependency on it.

3. Breath Deep: Now we’re getting into serious control techniques. When you’re nervous or excited, the natural tendency is to hold your breath. Holding your breath creates tension that demands release, which is one reason for premature ejaculation. Learn to slow yourself down by inhaling deeply and exhaling even more slowly, as practiced by Tantric sex practitioners. Tantra is not for everybody, but its slow deep breathing techniques are excellent for reducing the chance of premature ejaculation.

4. PC Exercise: Ejaculating before you want to–whether it’s after ten minutes or ten seconds—is a sexual *weakness.* If you want to become sexually strong, you need to strengthen the right muscles. For instance, if the muscles in your thighs are weak and you want to run longer, you work out your thigh muscles. So what muscle should a gentleman exercise to strengthen his ability to maintain an erection in different sexual positions without ejaculating? Contrary to popular belief, the penis itself is NOT a muscle–nor does it have a bone, even though they call erections “boners.” Answer: Your PC muscle. No, it’s not your politically correct muscle nor is it personal computer muscle; it’s your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group that runs from the pubic bone in front to the tailbone in back and supports the pelvic floor. This is the muscle that spasms during orgasm in the male and the female. PC muscle exercise is good for both men and women. To find your PC muscle, pretend that you’re urinating and want to stop the flow of urine by squeezing an internal muscle. Feel it? That’s your PC muscle. Flex or squeeze it for a couple of seconds, then release. And squeeze and release, squeeze and release, breathing in on the squeeze and out on the release. Do the PC muscle exercise ten times in the morning and ten times in the evening, gradually holding squeeze longer each time, and you will eventually gain strength and control. By the way, you can do this exercise anytime, anywhere–sitting, standing, walking around, or lying down. Women should do PC muscle exercises regularly too. A strong PC muscle enhances female orgasm tremendously, along with improving male ejaculation control.

5. Stop/Start Technique: Just like the name says, this method involves arousing the penis to the point before the point of no return and then stopping, pulling out if necessary, and letting your erection go down before resuming the stroking, sucking or thrusting. That is, if your flaccid state is at “0”, and ejaculation is at “10,” then the point of no return would be “9.” So you would need to reduce stimulation or “stop” at level “8” or, if you’re very trigger-happy, at level “7.” The stop/start exercise trains your big head and little head to recognize the points or stages of pleasure before the point of no return. Then, it trains you to stop–maybe for half a second, maybe for about a minute–so you don’t come. It’s a simple exercise that sex therapists and surrogates have been teaching for years, and it really works after about a month or two of practice, if you practice. In fact, you can get so good at this that you can experience multiple orgasms without ejaculation before your final ejaculatory climax.

6. Squeeze Technique: This is the same as the stop/start technique, but just as you stop, you or your lover squeeze the rim of your penis, between the head and the shaft, holding the thumb on top and the first and second fingers underneath. That’s the most popular spot for the squeeze technique. But there’s another spot right in the middle of the base of the penis, above the scrotum, where it meets the pubic bone. Max and other guys swear this is a sure-fire come-stopper.

7. Tease Technique: Erotic Teasing is one of the sexier ways to hold off premature ejaculation. Encourage your partner to tease you, with lots of foreplay, before you penetrate her mouth or vagina. Teasing is also excellent for women, though usually for the opposite reasons. Men need to be teased because it makes them slow down. Women need to be teased because it makes them come around.

8. Drink Up: A little alcohol can help some gentlemen with premature ejaculation last longer. This is not an excuse to get plastered, which tends to give you the opposite problem: erectile dysfunction, a.k.a. drunk dick syndrome. As Porter tells MacDuff in Shakespeare’s MacBeth, alcohol “provokes the desire, but takes away the performance.”

9. Relax: Remember, pressure is the enemy of pleasure. Every guy comes too fast sometimes due to stress, novelty, performance anxiety, or good old-fashioned excitement. If you just do it occasionally, try not to make a big deal about it. You’re likely to make it worse. Just gently and playfully start going through some of the above activities. They’re great sexual muscle-building exercises, even if you don’t have “penis problems.” And don’t let the fact that you came a little earlier than expected stop you from helping your partner to come.

10. Back-Up Your Hard-Drive: Always keep a back-up system for your computer, and always have some sex toys – dildos, vibrators and other goodies – to use on your partner when your personal hard-on is down. Or just go down on her. Most women are more likely to climax from a talented tongue than from a hard penis anyway. Coming “too fast” is relative. Remember that you can always keep going even after you’ve come, with your mouth, hands or toys. Or just make sure that you give your partner an orgasm or two before you get into any of her orifices or, if you’re lightning fast, before you let her touch your penis at all.

11. Examine Yourself: If you’re over thirty, chronically trigger happy and have “no luck” with any of the above exercises, tips and techniques, then you might have a psychological problem. This is not cause to check yourself into the nearest psych ward or start guzzling Prozac (which can wreak havoc on your sense of desire). But you may need to work out some internal conflicts in order to relax and relate, as well as control yourself sexuality. This “tip” calls for examining yourself and your feelings, especially your penis’ feelings. What is your quick-to-come, quick-to-go prick trying to tell you? Could it be that you subconsciously want to get sex over with? Why? What are you afraid of? Answering these questions honestly can lead you into some pretty tough psychological terrain, involving your ambivalent feelings about women and sex, your fears of abandonment (so you come “before” you can be abandoned), your performance anxieties, your guilt about sex, your conflicts over pleasure. If it’s too tough for you to handle alone—and it’s generally not the type of thing you can talk about with friends, family or even your partner—you might want to consult a sex therapist.

12. Enjoy Yourself: Many guys think of sex as a purely penis-driven activity. Give yourself permission to savor the little pleasures of life, love and sex, the touch of your partner’s skin, the smell of her hair. Instead of focusing all your desire in the hyper-sensitive head of your penis, try opening up to pleasure you can experience through your fingers, toes, nipples, buns, lips and tongue. Don’t worry, you’ll come back to your precious penis, but not before you’ve aroused your whole being: body, mind and soul. It takes a little patience, but if you practice, by the time you allow the forces of pleasure to flow freely through your mighty shaft, you’ll find yourself enjoying the biggest, most explosive orgasm ever.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute
The Orgasm Specialists
Free 24-Hour Sex Therapy Info Line: 626.461.5949

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Do you crave a heightened sexual experience that goes beyond the ordinary? Do you fantasize about exciting, intense, athletic sex with an uninhibited, experienced partner who has a super hot body, smooth shaved genitalia and an insatiable libido?

Do you want to explore a variety of sexual positions—doggystyle (standing or on knees), cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, Asian cowgirl (cowgirl with the female’s feet flat on the ground, in case you didn’t know), missionary (with legs spread or up over shoulders), anal intercourse, analingus, 69 (in all its delicious variations), full-throttle deep throating, snowballs, facesitting, hairpulling, cream pies, ball licking, ATM, tittyfucking, footjobs, female ejaculation, screaming orgasms, rough sex, come in the face, bukkake, exhibitionism, interracial, threesomes, group sex,  gangbangs (and the list goes on…)?

Do you long to live out a sexual scene that’s as lusty, “dirty” and hardcore as the stuff you see in porn?

If so, count yourself among the many who desire The Porn Star Experience (PSE). Though it’s a common fantasy and can even be a fetish, it’s not as easy to achieve as most porn makes it look.  The first challenge is finding a genuine PSE partner, which either means someone who wants to have sex like a porn star, or who actually is a porn star.  If you’re a single guy (and yes, it’s mostly guys looking for the Porn Star Experience, as many of the gals who really enjoy it just become porn stars!), it’s tough enough to find a good PSE partner.  If you’re married, you might be able to interest your wife (or girlfriend) in trying some PSE moves (more on how to finesse that in a moment), but many women are uncomfortable, unwilling or physically unable to engage in these types of hardcore sex acts.

Positions and sex acts are just the start of what a porn star may be eager and able to take part in. Porn stars are also exciting because of how they sound and talk. Do you like moaning? Screaming? Dirty talk?  Do you want your name called out mid-orgasm? Or maybe you’d like to be called other, nastier names? Maybe you want to call her the nasty names without worrying about offending her.  Maybe you want her to beg you to give it to her good? To spank her? To cum on her? Or do you want her grab your cock with confidence and cum all over you?

If you’ve been fantasizing about this, then the PSE may be just what you need. You may not want the porn star life, but one advantage of the PSE is that it is just a temporary experience… you won’t deal with having a porn star for your girlfriend, you won’t have to be on camera in front of thousands of people (or a crew and hot lights), and you don’t need to worry about the actual art and business of pornography! But you do get to enjoy the erotic rush and unforgettable, confidence-boosting sexual experience that comes out of living the fantasy… for a bit, anyway.

So where and how do you get the PSE?  Many escorts, mistresses and call girls offer it.   Some are even actual porn stars who meet with private clients on the side.  Just google the Porn Star Experience and surf around until you find someone appealing in your area.  Entering the escort world is a gamble, of course—not to mention illegal in many locales—but you just might have the PSE of your life!

Then again, you might be hesitant to jump into a real-life PSE, for various practical reasons. Cost: a genuine PSE can be fairly expensive. Safety: who is this person you will be intimate with for an evening or other short time? Will they rip you off? Do they have an STD? Do they have a shady past that may catch up with them (and you)? Besides that, maybe you don’t want people to find out about your PSE. Maybe you have a wife or girlfriend, and don’t want to cheat on her (or don’t want to get caught). Maybe you don’t want anyone to know, because of the stigma that’s still attached to prostitution (and, to some extent, pornography). Maybe you don’t have the time or opportunity.

But there is a way to get the pleasure, excitement and the awesome, empowering carnal knowledge of The Porn Star Experience without the headache of hiring an escort or mistress, and it’s as close as your own phone.  You can experience the PSE in a telephone or webcam sex therapy session with the Dr. Susan Block Institute.  We’re therapists—some of us with PhD’s, Master’s, nursing and other degrees—but we’re sex therapists, and some of us are porn stars. All of us know porn stars and love them. They’re frequent guests at the Institute, especially on Saturday nights when we have our shows and parties. In the medium of the telephone—as well as webcam, email or text—we are the very best at delivering the most intense, visceral, creative, descriptive Porn Star Experience you can imagine.  Our sexy porn star and pornstar-friendly therapists—male, female and shemale—are ready to talk with you, listen and share that quintessential PSE with you.

We can also help you to bring out the “porn star” from within your wife or girlfriend—or yourself!—so you can have an actual PSE with someone you love.  Everybody has a wild porn star inside of them yearning to break free and get wild in some way.  Keep in mind that pornstar quality sex is not an all or nothing proposition.  In fantasy, you can do it all.  In real life, if you can learn just a few PSE moves, positions or tricks, and encourage your partner to really cut loose, you can really spice up your regular sex life.

You might even have a real Porn Star Experience if you come to see a show here at our LA Institute on Saturday nights when Dr. Susan Block interviews porn stars and other sexperts.  That’s right, you can meet real porn stars in person here (call 626.461.5949 for more information about attending our Saturday night shows).  So though the PSE might be pure fantasy, we’re very real and down-to-earth and you can see that for yourself when you visit.

But since we’re an international institute and most of our clients don’t live in LA, our most popular medium for the PSE is the telephone.  It’s  intimate, convenient, less expensive, and virtually pressure-free, allowing you to really relax and let your imagination go wild. Whether you want to have The Porn Star Experience over the phone or cam, or discuss some of the pros and cons of doing it in real life, you can give us a call right now or anytime that’s good for you.  Unlike most therapists, we’re here for you whenever you need us, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Call 626.461.5949.

The other side of the coin of The Porn Star Experience is often referred to as “The Girlfriend Experience” (GSE).  If you’re seeking a partner that’s more friendly than lusty, an experience that’s more emotional than physical, more about intimacy than excitement, perhaps you’d benefit from the GSE.  Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, we offer both The Girlfriend Experience and The Porn Star Experience, via phone, webcam, sexting and a whole lot more. Call us now to find out all about it (no charge for information!): 626.461.5949.

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Do you long for an erotic experience that is more than just physical, but doesn’t require a major long-term commitment? Many of us, probably most of us, feel that there is much more to sex than just the carnal act…that goes for women and men.  So, what about you?  Do you feel that a physical encounter is heightened by what goes on before and after, not to mention during the “act” itself? Consider the things that go along with having a “girlfriend,” both in and out of the bedroom: a romantic evening, good conversation, humor, understanding, compliments, kissing, cuddling, playful foreplay, sharing secrets, the give and take of pleasure, intimacy. Closeness like this makes the sex between you that much more special, as well as more deeply orgasmic.

If this sounds appealing, you may be looking for the Girlfriend Experience (or GFE), an encounter that provides as much emotional satisfaction as physical.  GFE is a term used by some escorts, call girls, prostitutes,etc., made famous in the film by that name starring Sasha Grey, directed by Steven Soderbergh.  But it’s really about much more than hiring an escort. Who says that just because you pay for an erotic experience, it has to be sex without feeling, foreplay, afterplay, laughter, romance or intimacy? In The Girlfriend Experience, you can have it all.

So…why not just go for a real girlfriend? Lots of reasons! The Girlfriend Experience is not a play by play of the experience of having a girlfriend…otherwise it would just be a bad imitation of the real thing. The GFE is the skillfully roleplayed fantasy of a girlfriend—the best parts, including the sexual parts—and when it’s over, there’s no grouchy, difficult, demanding, real girlfriend to contend with. Let’s face it: Having a real girlfriend can be a lot of work. In real life, many relationships are more trouble than they’re worth.  Even the best require commitment, sacrifice and responsibility, and they don’t always last.  The worst break your heart and often your bank account. Like a delicious cake without the calories, The Girlfriend Experience gives you the deep pleasure and warm feeling of intimacy without the work and wear-and-tear.

There are many reasons you might benefit from a GFE.  Maybe you don’t feel ready to settle down with a real girlfriend yet.   You might be between relationships, or working hard on your career without the time and attention that a real girlfriend requires.  That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve pleasure, positive attention, seduction and intimacy. For some, a GFE can even be good practice for the real thing, helping you to develop your game, build confidence and learn more about how women think.  Then again, maybe you already have a real girlfriend, or a real wife, but you need a little GFE that’s just for you, lovingly focused on your feelings, your desires, your fantasies, your needs.

If you feel the Girlfriend Experience could help you, the next question is how to go about experiencing it.  You have several choices.  The most straightforward path would be to contract with an escort or mistress whose webpage says she provides GFE service.  Then again, escorts and mistresses aren’t for everybody, maybe not for most people.  Even if you don’t mind spending money on your GFE (a real girlfriend is always going to cost you something anyway—often much more!), there may be some very good reasons why you don’t want to actually go out and pay for a pro to give it to you “in the flesh.” This includes the risk of getting caught (especially if you’re married and/or running for office), the general stigma associated with prostitution which is still illegal in most locales, the danger of STDs, the inconvenience, the possibility of getting stuck with a real dud, a psycho or someone who is a lot less attractive than her photo, the danger of meeting someone in a strange place or letting them into your place, the high hourly rate, and the list goes on.

If you want all the pleasure and intimacy of The Girlfriend Experience without the headache of hiring an escort or mistress, you might consider picking up your phone and calling for a telephone sex therapy session with the Dr. Susan Block Institute.  We’re therapists—some of us with PhD’s, Master’s, nursing and other degrees—but we’re also some of the best girlfriends you’ll ever have.  We have some great guys here too, as well as transsexuals, but this page is about girlfriends, and we’ve got girlfriends of all ages who will talk with you, listen and help you with your problems, roleplay for you, share your fetishes and fantasies, come with you, commune with you, relax you, play with you and just generally give you the care and attention you need—body, mind and soul.

We do much of this over the phone.  But we can also chat with you via webcam, email or text—any of which can be as PG or X-rated as you like.  You can also visit us in person.  Yes, though TGFE might be a pure fantasy, we’re very real and down-to-earth and you can see that for yourself if and when you come to our center in LA.  But since we’re an international institute and most of our clients don’t live in LA, our most popular medium for TFGE is the telephone.  Why the telephone?  Because it’s so intimate, so very convenient, less expensive, and virtually pressure-free, allowing you to really relax and let your imagination go, sharing your thoughts, feelings, memories and fantasies with someone who can understand you. Whether you want to explore The Girlfriend Experience with us or discuss some of the pros and cons of doing it with one of our experts, you can give us a call right now or anytime that’s good for you.  Unlike most therapists—or girlfriends—we’re here for you whenever you need us, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Call 626.461.5949

The other side of the coin of the Girlfriend Experience is sometimes referred to as the “Porn Star Experience” (PSE).  You want PSE if you’re seeking a partner that’s more lusty than friendly for an experience that’s more physical than emotional, sizzling hot athletic sex in a variety of positions, dirty talk, large breasts, shaved genitalia, loud “performance” moaning and multiple orgasms.  We offer both the Porn Star Experience—with several real-life porn stars—via phone or webcam, as well as the Girlfriend Experience, and a whole lot more.  Call us now to find out more (no charge for information!): 626.461.5949.

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 “All the world’s a stage.”  ~William Shakespeare

For adults, as well as children, fantasy is often a lot more fun than reality.  Whether it’s erotic, exotic or PG enough for Disney, your fantasy is your own self-contained little universe, in which you make all the rules.  Anything is possible; nothing is forbidden.  Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, we call this alternative, highly sexual universe within us all the “Erotic Theater of the Mind.”

Dr. Susan Block, a magna cum laude graduate of Yale University with Distinction in Theater Studies and a doctorate in philosophy with an emphasis in psychology from Miramar University and an honorary doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality), has developed a uniquely effective and exciting technique of “erotic theater therapy” over the past two decades.  She and the other therapists of the Institute practice erotic theater therapy both in the brick and mortar “Womb Room” studio in Los Angeles where she broadcasts her Saturday night shows and via the extremely private medium of the telephone and other communications tools.

 In so doing, she follows in the footsteps of her forebear, Dr. Iwan Bloch, the Father of Sexology.  In 1907, Dr. Bloch boldly proposed the new concept of a science of sexuality: sexualwissenschaft or sexology. Bloch’s colleague Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld helped to organize this science, and in the liberal atmosphere of Weimar Berlin, purchased a villa that became his institute which housed his immense library on sex (later burned by Nazis), provided educational services and medical consultations and featured theatrical presentations on various sexual fetishes and orientations.  These theatrical events were attended by therapists, patients of the Institute and dramatic artists of the time, like Christopher Isherwood and W.H. Auden.

Throughout history, many more have utilized the art of theater as a therapeutic and educational tool, including such venerated techniques as “psychodrama” based on Dr. Jacob L. Moreno’s “Theater of Spontaneity,” Dr. Fritz Perls’ Gestalt therapy, Jungian archetypal dramatization, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s system of “Nonviolent Communication,” and Michel Foucault’s concepts of Ars Erotica (“erotic art”) and Scientia Sexualis (“science of sexuality”), not to mention the famous Aristotelian view of theater as not just a form of entertainment, but as a means to understand the problems of life.  Ancient Greek tragedies and comedies—not to mention their theatrical athletic contests—were filled with sex, love, romance, fantasy and desire, as is classical mythology.

There are essentially two types of erotic theater therapy practiced at the Institute: the real-life Womb Room theater at the Institute on terra firma, where we conduct a variety of therapeutic erotic theater experiences, and the Erotic Theater of the Mind which we explore with individuals and couples via the phone, webcam and other media.  For more about Erotic Theater Therapy in the Womb Room, visit DrSuzy.tv.  For more about erotic theater therapy over the phone and webcam, read on.

Dr. Block’s phone sex therapy system takes a four-point approach to sex therapy, involving 1) confession, 2) analysis, 3) technique and 4) adventure.  The theater actually *happens* at the fourth point, but is a part of process of all four.  Dr. Block and her other therapists, surrogates and fantasy roleplayers combine the theatrical elements of improvisation, storytelling, spectacle, the hero’s journey, archetype, hypnosis, exaggeration, confession, guided masturbation, “dirty talk,” erotic sound play and role-play, with more traditional forms of therapy and counseling.

Erotic theater therapy via phone sex fantasy roleplay can awaken, enlighten, stimulate, educate, liberate, challenge and comfort, as well as arouse you.  Here at the Institute, we believe in the healing power of pleasure, and we want to help you to experience it.  It’s the Bonobo Way.

Here are some other benefits of Dr. Block’s erotic theater therapy techniques applied through phone sex fantasy roleplay:

• Gain insight into sexual dilemmas
• Investigate unknown sexual situations
• Revisit and reenact profound sexual memories—good and bad
• Act out dreams with the therapist as aural collaborator
• Try out new private activities
• Explore taboo actions, objects and partners
• Evaluate sexual behaviors:  fantasy vs. real life
• Relax your defenses
• Wake up your senses
• Free your mind
• Enhance your orgasm and your partner’s orgasm
• Express your “wild side” without fear of judgment
• Learn about your body
• Improve sexual self-control
• Allow yourself to experience total sexual surrender (lack of control)
• Enhance your self-esteem
• Improve your body image
• Confront your greatest difficulties in and outside of the bedroom
• Learn the art of seduction
• Reveal long bottled up secrets in a safe, private, confidential supportive environment
• Release sexual frustration
• Get ideas for real life through playing out “what-if” scenarios
• Develop confidence
• Learn the truth about yourself
• Rehearse new modes of behavior: learn how to “act” on the stage of your sex life
• Learn how to cope with your more difficult sexual fantasies and fetishes
• Strategize and plan for your erotic future

Interested in exploring erotic theater therapy through phone sex fantasy roleplay, but not sure what fantasy to explore?  Here are some common examples:

Romantic Lovers
Husband and Wife
Doctor and Patient
Teacher and Student
Boss and Secretary
Goddess and Worshiper
Mistress and Slave
MILF and Neighbor
Priest and Nun
Incest Fantasy
Rape Fantasy
Ageplay Fantasy
Animal Fantasy
More Topics Here
No Topic is Too Taboo!

Learn more about Secret Sexual Fantasies Here

Need To Talk With Someone About Something
You Can’t Talk to Anyone Else About?
You Can Talk To Us.

Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away. Call 626.461.5949

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Based on The Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure

Dare to Free Your Inner Bonobo & Be All You Can Be!

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 People are going bonobos.  It sounds like a hot new dance and, in a way, it is.  But if you don’t know a bonobo from a banana, you really should read Dr. Block’s new book The Bonobo Way to learn the basics about our “Make Love Not War” Great Ape close cousins who swing through the trees as well as with each other.

  Then, when you’re ready to liberate your inner bonobo and be all you can be—in the bedroom and everywhere else—call the therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 626-461-5950.

 The Dr. Susan Block Institute and Block Bonobo Foundation are dedicated to protecting, promoting and researching bonobo chimpanzees, as well as educating people in The Bonobo Way; that is, how these great apes use sex to maintain peace, playfulness and gender equality in their societies, and how we can learn something from them about sex, love and peace on earth.

Whether or not you liberate your inner bonobo, we urge you to help save the real bonobos in the rainforest from imminent extinction.  Here are some places where you can donate:

Lola ya Bonobo
Bonobo Conservation Initiative
The Great Ape Trust
Block Bonobo Foundation

The BONOBO WAY
Peace through Pleasure

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626.461.5949

Are you turned on by a good striptease?  Do you love the seductive style of a sensuous exotic dancer?  Do you get a voyeuristic thrill from the bawdy bounce of burlesque?  Do you crave the devastating tease and denialof the skilled ecdysiast? Or do you go for the “amateur,” the sexy girl on the dance floor who lets the music flow through her body like a shimmering stream of pure rhythm?

Do you like to watch your lover dance for you just before you make love?  Or do you prefer to gaze upon a stranger, a hot, untouchable, superstar stripper high up above you on the strip club stage?  Do supple pole dancers drive you crazy? Are you a helpless fan of the femme fatale? A sucker for a supple lapdance?

Have you ever watched a sexy dancer—on the stage, at a club or in your dreams—wishing you could get to know her better?  Do you fantasize about getting her alone and having her deliver on what her dance seems to promise you? Do you imagine her dancing all over you, stripping off your clothes along with hers, then rhythmically riding you into a series of orgasms that has both of you screaming with deep wild pleasure and harmonious erotic energy?

Or do you worry that you (or a loved one) might be “addicted” to strippers?  Are you hanging out in strip clubs whenever you can, cheating on your partner or missing work, sticking all your hard-earned cash in those irresistible little G-strings or just giving the stripper of your dreams money shower after shower, until your wallet is empty and dry?

Or perhaps you prefer doing the striptease to watching it.  Are you a secret exhibitionist who longs to strip upon a stage, to reveal what you so often conceal?   Would you like to be an exotic dancer—professionally or just for fun?  Do you need advice about the “business” or encouragement to strip for personal, private pleasure?  Are you having trouble handling your desires for exhibitionism?  Are you a stripper that wants to transition into a different kind of life?

Do you need to talk about it? 

You can talk to us.  Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute now or anytime, 24/7,  for Striptease Therapy. What exactly is  “Striptease Therapy”?  It can take a variety of forms, depending on you and your needs.  Whether you need help disciplining your out-of-control stripper fetish, getting up the courage to do a seductive striptease for your husband (or wife), or roleplaying an exotic dancer domination fantasy, give us a call at 626.461.5949.

Dancing is the world’s oldest art form. People have been dancing since shortly after they started walking, and some of the first dances they did were erotic dances, also known as “fertility dances.” Essentially, these were dances to make the crops grow along with the men’s erections, dances to make the rain fall as the women got wet.  Some say that any kind of dance is erotic.  George Bernard Shaw famously called dancing “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.”

Stripping is also very old.  Probably as soon as people started wearing clothes, some people started taking their clothes off in a sexy, seductive way.  Keep in mind that for many thousands of years, we humans were as naked as all the other animals in the forest.  As we started to wear clothing, human nudity became taboo.  Unclothing—or stripping—became theteasing “gateway” between the acceptable, civilized, clothed world and the realm of forbidden, primal nudity.

Thus stripping is one of the most basic, powerful aphrodisiacs there is. The gradual, sensuous removal of articles of clothing reveals the natural mysteries of the human body in a viscerally exciting way that takes us from our cultured world of clothing to a naked realm of primeval pleasures and our deep evolutionary origins.  A well-known University of Chicago Sex Survey found that the second most common turn-on, next to regular sexual intercourse, is watching someone sexy taking off their clothes. 

Slowly…as one of the greatest American strippers, Gypsy Rose Lee said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly” (though, if you’re in a hurry, a quick strip can also hit the spot!)….

Speaking of Gypsy, in response to her request for a “more dignified” way to refer to her profession than “stripper,” H. L. Mencken is credited with coining the word “ecdysiast” – from “ecdysis”, meaning “to molt.”

Striptease in mythology goes at least as far back as the ancient Sumerian story of the descent of the goddess Inanna into the Underworld where, at each of the seven gates, she removes an article of clothing until her naked arrival in hell. Inanna’s cosmic striptease is carried on in the Dance of the Seven Veils of Salome, who danced for King Herod in the New Testament (Matthew 14:6 and Mark 6:21-22). Though the Bible records Salome’s dance, the first mention of her actually removing seven veils occurs in Oscar Wilde‘s play Salome in 1893 and Richard Strauss‘s operatic version in 1905, which some claim as the origin of modern striptease.

In the Gay Nineties, striptease and burlesque flourished in Paris at the Moulin Rouge and Folies Bergère, and in 1905, the notorious and tragic Dutch dancer, Mata Hari, later shot as a spy by the French authorities during World War I, was an overnight striptease success at the Musée Guimet. In the 1920s, an American in Paris, Josephine Baker, stripped to nothing but a “skirt” of bananas in her sensational danse sauvage.

The 1960s saw a revival of striptease in the form of topless go-go dancing. This eventually merged with the older tradition of burlesque to create modern stripping. Carol Doda of the Condor Night Club in San Francisco is given the credit of being the first topless—then bottomless—go-go dancer.  In the past, the performance often finished as soon as the undressing was over, but today’s strippers usually continue dancing, pole-dancing and lapdancing in the nude.

Meanwhile, burlesque or “neo-burlesque” has branched off from stripping into a separate, somewhat more “dignified” and more humor-infused dance form, maintaining the old striptease traditions with new twists.  Then there are the modern temple dancers who perform “striptease therapy” in the sacred traditions of Aphrodite and Apsara.  So many ways to strip and tease!

One of the most famous striptease artists of modern times, Dita Von Teese, has appeared twice on The Dr. Susan Block Show, including once when Dr. Block interviewed Bettie Page, the late legendary American striptease, pin-up and fetish model, in 1996.

Dr. Block also wrote the definition of STRIPTEASE for the new Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality.

But back to you…and your stripper fetish…

Do you need to talk with someone who’s been on both sides of the lapdance?  For serious sex therapy or a pleasureable phone experience or help with your—or your loved one’s—stripper habit, give us a call right now or anytime you need to talk.  Call 626.461.5949.  We’re here for you.

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– Are you interested in trying Sext Therapy?

– Are you sometimes more comfortable with texting than talking?

– Do you enjoy sending and receiving erotic messages and pictures on your cell phone?

– Do you have fantasies, fetishes or memories that you’d rather explore through texting, emailing or messaging than other methods?

– Is texting easier, more convenient, more private or less embarrassing for you than talking by phone, webcamming or seeing a sex therapist in person?

Call Us Now: (213) 291-9497

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above, Sext Therapy could be for you.

Sext Therapy is a revolutionary system of sex therapy that utilizes the medium of texting.  For over 20 years, the Dr. Susan Block Institute has been the world’s leader in telephone sex therapy, erotic theater therapy and webcam sex therapy.  Now, responding to popular demand, we have opened up a new wing in sext therapy.

As technology changes the world around us, we reorient our lives and methods of communication, which inevitably influences the way we express ourselves sexually.  Sexting is suited to modern times, due to its convenience and relative confidentiality. Do you often find you don’t have the time or privacy to hold an actual conversation over the phone? With sexting, you don’t have to wait to be completely alone.

You can get your questions answered, satisfy your needs or quench your curiosity immediately and discreetly, at any time of day or night, regardless of where you are.

Imagine being able to explore your sexual fantasies in the midst of going about your daily routine, and having it be your special secret. A sext or steamy picture at the right moment can add a special spark to your day. Later you can call or cam with the therapist with whom you’ve been sexting, to ‘finish’ what the both of you started.

The same rates as Phone Sex Therapy apply; for $3.25/min (with a minimum of 12 minutes, or $40), you can send and receive as many texts as you’d like during the window of time you’d like to spend sexting.

Curious to hear more? Let our sexy  therapists help you address your most primal urges in the most modern way.

Call us now at 626-461-5950 to hear more about how you can experience Cell Phone Sext Therapy—anytime 24/7—and we will set you up with an account where you can engage in sext therapy with one of our sext therapists.

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For Information
Call 626.461.5949

Have you been considering working with a sexual surrogate?

Are you experiencing performance anxiety, erectile difficulties, inability to orgasm, premature ejaculation, an extreme lack of confidence, severe shyness, a sexless relationship or other sexual “complications” that you can’t seem to work out on your own?

Have you wondered if there is a serious, therapeutic, “hands-on” way to improve your sex life?

If you’re thinking about working with a sexual surrogate or “sex surrogate,” our staff of trained phone sex therapists is available to discuss your desires and needs. If you’re interested in learning, ready to start working with a sexual surrogate or if you need help deciding if sexual surrogacy is right for you, call The Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7 at 626.461.5949. 

What do you know about sexual surrogacy?

Sexual surrogate therapy is an alternative method of sex therapy which a therapist may recommend for those individuals who have serious problems engaging in fulfilling sex. Sexuality, while a natural and rich source of pleasure, is generally at its richest when expressed with a partner. But sex with a partner, or even the prospect of obtaining a partner at all, often comes with compromises and complications.

For some, emotional trauma, low self-esteem, fear of intimacy or many other social barriers can make the act of sexual intercourse a near-impossible achievement. For others, there are physical obstacles, such as impotence or delayed or “premature” ejaculation. And then of course, there are the social skills and opportunity required in acquiring a sex partner in the first place. Surely, the pressure of obtaining a partner can worsen existing issues with nervousness, anxiety or depression.

Sexual issues can be psychological and emotional matters where regular “talk” therapy is the best treatment. On the other hand, sexuality is, in part, also physical, and sometimes physical help is required and beneficial. This is where sexual surrogate therapy comes in. Working in conjunction with a therapist, the trained sexual surrogate takes a step-by-step, hands-on approach based on the classic work sensate focus therapy of Masters & Johnson, in combination with other traditional and nontraditional therapies. A sexual surrogate will spend the time it takes (usually several weeks) to work slowly with the client to help them work through all the issues of concern, emotionally, and when appropriate, physically as well.

The Block Institute works with California state-certified sexual surrogates.  Of course, we always stay within the strict confines of the law on these matters.  We also recommend that you contact the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA).

But if you need help deciding if sex surrogacy is right for you or if you just need to talk about your problem, you can give us a call anytime 24/7.  Someone is always here to talk with you, and we may be able to get you started working with a sexual surrogate and/or therapist.  Sexual surrogacy is not legal in every state or country, but talking about it always is.
Call us now at 626.461.5949

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Call Us Now:
626.461.5949

Gentlemen: Do you like wearing women’s clothing?

Do you get aroused, have fun or just feel comfortable wearing feminine lingerie, stockings, dresses, skirts, lacy or silky panties, bras, garter belts, wigs, high heels and/or makeup?

Do you crossdress openly or is it a big secret?

Would you like to share your secret crossdressing fantasies with someone–perhaps a lover, therapist, friend or  understanding stranger–with your complete confidentiality absolutely guaranteed?

Ladies: Did you find a lacy thong stashed in a hidden compartment of your husband’s briefcase? Don’t jump to conclusions.  They may not be another woman’s–but his!

Do you want to learn more about why you (or your lover) enjoy crossdressing?  Would you like to find out where your transvestite or transsexual fetish or fantasies come from, or how you can best cope with your crossdressing desires?

Maybe it’s time you call the world’s foremost Crossdressing Phone Sex Therapy Specialists.  We’re always here for you, anytime you need to talk, 24/7.  You can call us now at 626.461.5949.

Crossdressing is nothing new. From ancient Greek drama, which featured men in all the women’s roles, to Victorian Bloomer Girls to modern drag queens, ever since men and women started wearing different clothes, they found excuses to wear each other’s clothes. Currently, unlike men, women who wear “male” clothing have few social problems. Tomboys are accepted.  Sissies are not. Women wear pants and nobody even blinks, but when a man wears a skirt (unless perhaps, its a kilt), its usually a big deal.  It doesn’t seem fair, but such are the decrees of socio-sexual fashion.

How does male crossdressing start?  Every crossdresser has a different story, but most begin their lifelong love affair with feminine apparel around early adolescence. The first glimmers of the fetish often revolve around Mama‘s sensual, forbidden panties  or nylons. Many teenage boys get aroused by touching or smelling Mom’s or Sister’s lingerie, usually hanging tantalizingly over a towel rack or lying nestled in a hamper. Crossdressers take this common interest a step further by actually trying it on.

Some say the desire to crossdress starts as a sort of security blanket when a boy seeks comfort in Mom’s clothing to escape a harsh or absent Dad.  If he’s caught in the act, he’s often humiliated which makes him feel guilty, but enhances the excitement of crossdressing. Some say crossdressing is partly genetic. Regardless of the cause, most experts agree that the desire to crossdress is not something someone can simply eliminate, even with therapy, especially if it’s been going on since childhood.

What do men feel when they crossdress? Many thoughts, feelings, sensations, desires and fantasies may course through their veins and penetrate their brains as they wear feminine clothing.  They might feel it’s exciting, relaxing (even tranquilizing), mystical, dangerous, taboo, irreverent, erotic and more. Some really want to be women (and may eventually become transsexuals). Some are gay.  But most are straight or bisexual. Many say they feel that deep inside, they are lesbians. Some might have trouble connecting with women, so they dress up so they can be the kind of lady they’d like to go out with, but can’t find. Then there’s James, a retired judge (male), who just married Sharon, an attorney (female).  It was a beautiful crossdressed wedding: James wore a full-length bridal gown, and Sharon wore a top hat and tuxedo.

Why is it that so many closet crossdressers are judges, fire fighters, construction workers, police officers, attorneys, and CEOs?    Usually, they’re overcompensating or trying to *disguise* their feminine desires by working in a field that’s traditionally ultra-male. Many feel that ladies are pampered.  Whether that’s accurate is irrelevant. The fact is when these men crossdress, they feel pampered. They forget the manly stresses of the board room, fire station or construction site, and simply relax and have fun.  It’s ironic that when most women want to relax, they take off their high heels and garters, and put on a T-shirt and shorts.  The fact that some men get comfortable by taking off their jeans and putting on a corset is one of the great paradoxical joys of crossdressing.

There is nothing ethically “wrong” with crossdressing, thought many people, societies and religions maintain that its wrong.  The biggest problems arise when, because of these social pressures to conform, crossdressers feel they must stay in the closet, which most do.  Many lifelong crossdressers have girlfriends, or even wives of many years they wouldn’t dream of telling about their undercover fashion passion.  Their desire for secrecy is understandable, since the potential for stinging rejection or worse is immense.

Your secrets are safe with us, and your confidentiality is absolutely guaranteed.  Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away. You may talk with a male, female or shemale therapist.  For more information, call 626.461.5949.

Though we completely understand and honor the need that most crossdressers have for complete secrecy, there’s no doubt that most crossdressers are happier and healthier–and less likely to get into trouble–if they can share their fetish with someone they are close to.  If you are a crossdresser and you want to open up to a partner, we can help you turn this exciting thought into a reality.

We also understand that some wives might have a tough time coping with the revelation of their husbands’ crossdressing. Though transvestitism itself is very difficult to stop, with a little knowledge and a lot of love, wives have been known to change how they deal with their husbands’ fetish. Usually this requires modification on the husband’s part as well, not necessarily of the crossdressing itself, but of some other aspect of his behavior toward his wife.  Keep in mind that though some women are horrified to discover their husband is crossdressing, some not only tolerate it, they love it.  You may, despite your assumptions, find that you enjoy it too.  And hey, if your sizes aren’t too different, you two can trade panties!

Whether you need serious crossdressing therapy, guided masturbation, erotic hypnosis, knowledgeable advice, counseling, help with a problem or just a hot phone sex therapy experience, call us at 626.461.5949.

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626.461.5949

Do you like to be teased? Does it arouse you to be made to wait for that sweet moment of release?  Or would you rather do the teasing, prolonging your seduction to make the object of your desire crazy with lust for you?  What is it that can make the art of “tease and denial” so irresistible, it’s as if it weaves a magic spell around its helpless, happy victim?

Everyone needs a little tease, at least sometimes.  Men need to be teased because it makes them slow down. Women need to be teased because it makes us come around.  Teasing puts the pizzazz and mystery into sex.  Otherwise, we’d just be rutting animals.  Even animals tease!  Look at the stop-start, pounce-retreat mating dances of birds, cats, apes, even snakes.

A good tease is erotic but indirect, slowly building up to total seduction and surrender. As that consummate strip tease artist Gypsy Rose Lee once said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.”  A great tease has all the time in the world. And with a great tease, you never know if you’re going to get the gold you’re going for.  You might, but then again you might not.  You have to be flexible with a tease.  You have to remember the Golden Rule of Tease:  You never know.  The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned.  You have to be willing to go with the tease, please…

Teasing wears a variety of masks and hats.  There is the innocent tease who doesn’t even know she’s a tease, and is all the more devastating for it.  There’s the experienced tease who spins her webs of seduction with great skill and sensitivity.  I say “her” because, though men can tease too, teasing is a feminine wile.  It is manipulative and circuitous, womanly attributes.  Some teasing is spontaneous, light as a feather.  Some teasing is calculated, steeped in the art of salacious sorcery.  Some teasing is loving and sweet, almost nurturing, like tickling a baby.  Some teasing is playful and charming, dazzling and devastatingly witty.  Some teasing is mean and nasty, even vicious and cruel.  Teasing can also be humiliating and torturous.  And some teasing really hurts.  Rapes, murders, even MASS murders have been committed by people—even children–who say they did it because  they were teased.  Teasing can be dangerous.  It can be quite harmless too, of course.  That is why we say “I’m just teasing!” to insist we’re harmless.  But it is the dangerous aspects of teasing that make it erotic.  That, and the sensuous nature of revealing something slowly, gradually, then maybe not at all, then maybe a little more.  It is too dangerous to show more.  Too hot to handle.  That is the Art of the Tease.

One of the greatest teases of history, believe it or not, is Queen Esther of the Bible. The shrewd and seductive Esther of Shushan, in what is now Iran, teased the great and powerful Persian King Ahasuerus into such an erotic frenzy that he freed her people from genocide.  Queen Cleopatra of Egypt was also a great tease; it was her extraordinary teasing ability that kept the Romans guessing and ultimately kept Egypt governed by its own people (that is, herself) until her death.

In modern times, teasing is the stuff of stars, Marilyn Monroe being the most legendary tease.  Bettie Page, sometimes called the Dark Marilyn, was also a most delicious tease. Now Dita Von Teese continues the legacy of the tease.  I was privileged to have Bettie Page as a guest on my show a few years ago–with Dita (when she was an 18-year-old Heather Sweet) in my studio audience!  Though Bettie spoke with me on the air for over an hour, she refused to show her face.  What a tease.  She said she wanted us to think of her the way she was, forever young and beautiful; she wanted control of her image.

And, yes, teasing is about control.  Once you lose control, you’re not teasing anymore. It’s tough to tease when you’re in mid-orgasm.  Once the orgasm is on, the tease  is over….unless you’re a really good tease.

Does all this talk about teasing make you yearn to be teased?

Call the telephone sex therapists of The Dr. Susan Block Institute for Tease and Denial Phone Sex Therapy. Whether you’re looking to be teased yourself by one of our sweet, charming, experienced, degreed and/or deliciously cruel sex therapists, if you’re in need of some teasing advice to seduce that someone you’ve been wanting for a while, or if you want to better understand, explore, express, limit and/or control your desire for tease and denial, we’re here  for you 27/7. We are the world’s foremost experts in the fine art of tease and denial.  Call now at 626.461.5949. 

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626.461.5949

Do you like sexy boots?  Do you lust for a lady in shiny, spike-heeled latex thigh-highs?  Or do you prefer to worship a mistress’ feet in deliciously strong-smelling leather boots?  Maybe you’d prefer a hot master in cowboy boots or tough, scuffed army boots.  Would you rather wear the boots yourself, or do you want to be “forced” to spit-shine those boots and play with them—or let them play with you—in other kinky ways?  Do you ever find yourself going under the sexual spell of a pair of sexy boots?

Whatever your personal interest, fantasy, question or desire, our Boot Fetish Phone Sex Therapists have got “boots on the ground” and we’re here to help you talk about, understand, explore, cope with—and indulge in—your fantasies as well as deal with your reality.  For information, call 626.461.5949

 Perhaps you like a bit of pain with your pleasure.  As Nancy Sinatra sang, “These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you!”  Do you like when sexy boots step on you or even kick you when you’re down?   Maybe you just like to rub yourself against the instep, take the heel anally or ride the toe of that sexy boot into boot fetish ecstasy.

To talk to a Boot Fetish Phone Sex Therapist with the Dr. Susan Block Institute right now, call 626.461.5949.

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For 24/7 Information, Call 626.461.5949

Do you like to “talk dirty”? Do you get sexually aroused from breaking verbal taboos or hearing them broken by a hot lover with a sexy voice and an uninhibited imagination?  Many people are offended, insulted, shocked or just put off by “dirty talk,” so-called “four-letter words,” “obscene,” “indecent” or “vulgar” sexual terminology.  Of course, this offensive aspect of talking dirty is a key reason that so many other people find it to be highly erotic.  Sometimes we need to be “bad” to feel good, and using “forbidden” words and phrases for various sexual activities is an easy, relatively harmless way to get that naughty, nasty, or even filthy feeling that can make you feel so fantastic.

 Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, we understand the sexual, healing power of talking dirty.  Though we are, for the most part, educated, empathetic, verbally adept and considerate, we also believe that dirty talk can be a valuable component of fantasy role-play, BDSM play, relaxation and/or guided masturbation.  And some of us just love it!  So…need to talk dirty, hear dirty talk, learn to talk dirty or get tips on how to get your lover to talk dirty with you?  Call us now or anytime at 626.461.5949.

For some people, “talking dirty” is like speaking an exotic, intensely sexual language.  Just as traveling to a foreign land can ignite a romance in a flagging libido, so can “dirty talk” provide a “brain vacation” that carries you away from the stressful and tedious reality of politically correct discourse, taking you to a place where you can say all that is usually forbidden and let loose the wild lover within you as you experience the erotic pleasure that you usually repress.

Of course, a page about “Talking Dirty” isn’t complete without some dirty words.  So here’s a list of just a few of the more popular ones (starting with the late great George Carlin’s famous “seven dirty words” you can’t say on TV).  WARNING: If  you are under 18, or if real “dirty talk” with real “dirty words” offends you, do not read any farther….

fuck
cunt
piss
shit
cocksucker
motherfucker
tits
pussy
twat
hole
slit
cock
dick
balls
ass
asshole
whore
bitch
slut
etc.

If you don’t see your favorites, give us a call at and let us know what we should add!

Whether you need to talk dirty, clean, clinical, intellectual, sensual, romantic, analytical, playful or wild, we’re here for you.  Give the world-renowned sex therapists of The Dr. Susan Block Institute a call anytime you need to talk.  For information, call 626.461.5949

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626.461.5949

 Don’t you love the way a pair of fine, silky-smooth nylons accentuates the length and shape of a gorgeous pair of legs ending in a hot set of high heels—or maybe just sexy “stocking feet”? Do you like naughty garters and old-fashioned, back-seamed stockings or lace-trimmed thigh highs? Perhaps you prefer the fuller coverage of classic pantyhose completely encasing legs, crotch and buns in a tight but ever-so-flexible “second skin” of sheer nylon.

 Do you need to talk about your feelings about nylons, stockings or pantyhose?  Call the Block Institute at 626.461.5949.  Several of our telephone sex therapists are experts in this area of fashion and fetish.

 There are so many ways to enjoy the sensual, sartorial magic of fine hosiery…

 Stockings incite our senses of sight, touch and smell.  Maybe you long to worship, touch, stroke, kiss or sniff feminine feet and legs wrapped like presents in silky nylon or teasing fishnets. Or is it the sight of a charmingly round rump peeking out from above a pair of saucy thigh-highs under a short skirt that arouses you?  A pair of sweet, innocent, white knee socks under a school uniform?  Or a slinky catsuit or bodystocking sheathing everything in translucent hosiery?

 Nude, black or multi-colored, pantyhose conceals as it reveals all that is forbidden below the belt.  Perhaps you enjoy the feeling of silky, ultra-sheer pantyhose on your own legs and crotch. Or maybe you just like to play with stockings, wrapping them around your most sensitive body parts for that ineffable, erotic sensation.

 Of course, ladies who like to wear nylons usually have no problem putting them on, showing them off and finding partners with whom to enjoy them.  Most men like ladies in nylons. But what about men who like to wear them?

 That wonderful feeling that so many men get from playing with or wearing “ladies’” hosiery can be tremendously arousing, extremely relaxing or an intensely pleasurable combination of arousal and relaxation.  Maybe you started playing as a child or teenager with your mother’s, sister’s or aunt’s stockings or pantyhose, or perhaps you were inspired by your first girlfriend, a special lover, lingerie catalogue or some other catalyst.

 Do you need to talk about it with someone who “gets” it?  Talking about the source of your feelings for nylons can help you to enjoy them in healthier ways.  It can also be very exciting.  Call our 24-hour Hosiery Help Hotline at 626.461.5949.

 It’s important to talk about this with someone who understands, because in addition to the pleasurable feelings, the stocking or pantyhose lover—or fetishist–may also have feelings of deep anxiety, confusion,  guilt or shame about his nylon desires.

One source of this anxiety lies in the fact that contemporary society considers fine hosiery to be for *women only* to wear.  It hasn’t always been so.  In the 18^th century, many very manly men (like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and our other Founding Fathers) wore silk stockings and high heels on a regular basis without any fear of being considered effeminate. In the future, hosiery for men might well make a fashion comeback.

But at the moment, society tells men who enjoy wearing stockings and pantyhose that there is something too feminine or just plain *wrong* with them.  Sometimes that makes a man’s hosiery fetish even stronger, spicing up the natural pleasures of sheer nylon with the erotic zing of crossing the threshold of the taboo.

But it can also exacerbate anxiety, guilt and shame.  Many men are so ashamed of their stocking fetish that they feel they can’t or won’t share it with anyone, even their own wives.

 Everyone deserves privacy, especially in that most private of realms, the world of sexual desire.  But keeping strong fetish feelings all to yourself can be very stressful and confusing.  Of course, it can be dangerous to tell people you know, even—or perhaps especially–people who love you.  Talking to an understanding sex therapy professional is usually your best bet.  Call the Block Institute at 626.461.5949.

 We can help you grapple with the important questions.  “Why do I like this so much?“ you may wonder. “Am I a stocking fetishist or pantyhose addict? Can I stop or should I embrace my  fetish?  Does this mean I want to be a woman or just that I like to wear nylons?  Does this mean I want to be with men?  Or do I just want a woman to accept me for me nylon fetish?  Can I share this with someone I love or is this just a private indulgence?”

 Unlike most sex therapists, we can also help you to enjoy the sheer fun of your stocking or pantyhose fetish through fantasy exploration, role-play, guided masturbation, nylon play, stocking shopping therapy and erotic hypnosis.

 Call 626.461.5949, any time, day or night.

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Do you like tickling?  Do you relish tickling a lover until he or she is breathless with laughter and writhing in pain and joy? Or would you rather be tickled, forced to surrender, gasping for mercy, to the wild fingers of a hot lover, until you can’t help but orgasm in ticklish ecstasy?

Our Tickle Fetish Phone Sex Therapists are here to help you talk about, understand, explore, cope with—and indulge in—your tickling fantasies. For information, call 626.461.5949

What’s so special about the teasing, titillating touch of tickling?

Tickling can be a type of “horseplay,” torture, silly sexy fun, deep power exchange, sensual exploration, stimulation or humiliation.  Maybe you like to hold a sexy submissive down, take her by surprise, or tie her up and tickle-torture her until she laughs, shrieks, cries and begs for relief. Or perhaps you’d like to be subdued and tortured with tickles on the most sensitive, ticklish parts of your body.  Whether it’s the tempting curve of a waist, the soft tummy, inviting underarm, flirtatious feet, the vulnerable inner thighs, or the tantalizing nape of the neck, giving up power and being at the mercy of naughty fingers or devious feathers is a kind of physical and mental submission, as well as an intimate display of trust between partners.

 Unfortunately, some people can’t stand being tickled.  Others aren’t ticklish at all, and what fun is that?  Some think tickling is for kids, or they just don’t “get it.”  Naturally, this makes many tickle fetishists rather shy about sharing their fetish with others, fearing rejection or misunderstanding.

Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, we “get it.”
We understand and love to explore the erotic pleasures of tickling.
To talk to a Tickle Fetish Phone Sex Therapist right now, call 626.461.5949.
We’re here to talk anytime.

Childhood tickle games are usually the first times we experience that crazy “tickle high,” the endorphin-raising ecstasy of pleasure mixed with heightened tension bordering on pain that comes with being tickled, as well as the heady power rush of being the tickler.  Adult tickling can bring back those erotic memories as well as give both tickler and ticklee that wild and free feeling of being a child again (without involving any real-life children, of course).

Tickling has been an aspect of sex since prehistoric times.  Bonobos, dogs, cats and other mammals often tickle each other as they play, sometimes as a kind of foreplay for sex.  The ancient Indian Kama Sutra waxes eloquently about the sexual joys of tickling.   While the Chinese, Japanese and ancient Romans would use tickling as a form of genuine torture, the Victorians appreciated tickling for its erotic capacity; being tied up and tickled to a kind of ticklegasm was an extremely common fantasy, as well as a specialty of the better Victorian bordellos.  Famous tickle-lovers from history include the Egyptian Queen Hatshepsut and Russian Empress Catherine the Great who are said to have enjoyed having their royal feet tickled ritually before and during sex. It’s no wonder that a hot body writhing and wriggling uncontrollably under a barrage of tickles remains a steamy dream for many fetishists.

So…what about you?  Need to talk about ticking?  Want to get important, enlightening insight into your personal tickle fetish or learn how to introduce tickling games to your spouse or potential lover?  Need to work through your fears or shame about tickling?  Or perhaps you would like to experience a phone sex fantasy role-play tickle-torture session—giving or receiving.  Our tickle fetish phone sex therapists have their fingers ready! Call 626.461.5949 right now or anytime you’re ready to tickle or be tickled.

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 Are you thinking about cheating?

Are you currently engaged in a secret sexual affair? Or maybe you’re just curious, seriously considering having extra-marital sex, but it hasn’t happened… yet.  Then again, perhaps you’d never actually do it, but you can’t help fantasizing about it. Or is it the other way around: Do you think your spouse is cheating on you?  How do you feel about it? Devastated? Jealous? Enraged?  Excited? Aroused? Confused? Need to talk about your feelings?  Need help figuring out what to do, if anything?

The telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute understand the thrill and the guilt, the dread and desire, the fantastic excitement and real life repercussions of infidelity, adultery, betrayal, duplicity, cuckoldry and cheating. Let us give you the kind of help you need right now. We’re open 24/7.  Call us now or anytime you need to talk:

Need more information before you call? Keep reading to learn the different ways that “Cheating Phone Sex Therapy” with the Block Institute can help you.

 Are you currently cheating?

Are you now having an affair now and need to talk to someone about it? Are you sexually involved with a friend, co-worker or someone you met online, unbeknownst to your spouse?  Perhaps you’re secretly seeing a “professional,” such as an escort, mistress, masseuse or dominatrix. Are you committed to keeping your marriage (or other serious relationship) going, but driven by this insatiable urge to “cheat”? Is it the irresistible chemistry of your lover? Is it because your spouse will not have sex with you, or at least not in the way you want to have sex?  Or is it the taboo thrill of adultery itself that sexually excites you in ways your marriage alone never does?

Regardless of your reason for cheating, the burden of leading a double life is bound to cause you anxiety. Do you need to talk about it? We at the Block Institute are not here to judge you. We’re here to help. That might mean helping you to better understand and cope with your desire to cheat, whether it’s due to fixable problems with your spouse, your own natural promiscuity or something else. If you want to stop, we can help you to stop cheating. If you don’t, we can help you negotiate your secret life with your more public life. Then again, maybe you just need an understanding, open-minded ear to listen to your story with compassion and empathy. Whatever you need to talk about, we’re here for you.  Call us at 626.461.5949

 Do you think your spouse is cheating on you?

Are you suspicious that your spouse is having an affair? Are you wondering if the rumors of infidelity are true? Need help trying to determine if your suspicions are valid?  Are you unsure of the next step to take and want a plan of action? Your sense of betrayal, hurt, rage, excitement and confusion can be so overwhelming that it feels impossible to think, let alone act rationally. Experiencing a wide range of feelings–from fear to envy, anger to arousal, sadness to relief, aggression to depression, rage to lust–is entirely natural. If you need help dealing with these conflicted feelings, or figuring out what’s really going on and/or deciding what to do about your suspected cheating spouse, the telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help.  Call us at 626.461.5949

Are you considering having an affair?

Are you seriously thinking about looking outside your marriage for something you feel is missing: the thrill of sex with someone new? Are you desperately yearning for the kind of sex you can’t have with your spouse? Do you troll Ashley Madison, escorting websites or your Facebook friend list, on the verge of getting into an extramarital affair? Do you need to weigh the pros and cons of cheating with an experienced expert who won’t judge you, but will help you make some important decisions about your sex life? Of course, society frowns upon cheating—and for many good reasons. But sometimes having an affair is the “right” thing to do for various reasons, one of which might be that your sinking sex life is in serious need of a lifeboat. Sometimes, oddly enough, it can even save your marriage. Then again, maybe you’re open to the idea of re-igniting the spark in your marriage. Dr. Block is an expert at “making marriage feel like an affair.”  Whatever your personal concerns and desires are, if you are considering having an affair—or not—we can help.  Call us anytime you need to talk at 626.461.5949

 Do you fantasize about cheating?

Do you dream of having an affair, but want to steer clear of cheating in real life?  Does the fantasy of hot-blooded adultery turn you on, even though you’re pretty sure the reality of doing it would turn your stomach, not to mention destroy your marriage? Do you think about having hot sex with people other than your spouse when you make love or masturbate?  Fantasizing is not actually cheating, of course, but it can feel almost as exciting as cheating–and it’s a whole lot safer.

Have you ever used phone sex to role-play adulterous fantasies? Would you like to try?  Phone sex fantasy roleplay is an effective, exciting, discreet way to enjoy many of the erotic thrills of an affair without actually “having” one.  Phone sex is a relatively prudent expression of what Nathaniel Hawthorne called “lawless passion.” If you’re going to have an affair, it’s better (and safer) to do it on the phone than in the flesh. At least, you won’t get an STD. And at best, you’ll get inspiration and ideas to improve your love life with your spouse without entangling your body, not to mention your body fluids, with somebody else’s. In any case, you won’t get lipstick on your zipper, or semen on your dress.

The relative safety of phone sex often involves deeper, more complex feelings than concern over STDs. The phone is a stage upon which you can act out your wildest fantasies, a telephonic erotic “Theatre of the Mind” that allows you to safely explore dangerous, taboo desires. Whatever the nature of your adulterous fantasy, we’re here to help you to express it, enjoy, contain  and deal with it in as positive a way as possible with the least danger to your marriage, work, family or any aspect of your “real life.”

Is phone sex cheating?  Not inherently. Though if you keep your phone sex a secret from your partner, you feel like you’re cheating, and if you feel like you’re cheating, you probably are. But if you feel compelled to embark upon an affair, and you want to keep things as safe as possible, better to share your lawless passion chaperoned by your telephone.  For phone sex fantasy roleplay, call us anytime at 626.461.5949

 Do you fantasize about your wife—or future wife—cheating on you?

It goes against conventional wisdom that a married man–or even a divorced or single man—would be excited by the fantasy of his wife—or future wife, girlfriend or ex–cheating by “cuckolding” him.  But this type of cuckold fantasy is a lot more common than you might realize, and it is one of the areas in which the telephone sex therapists of the Block Institute specialize. So if you find yourself aroused by cuckold fantasies like this, rest assured you’re not alone.

Besides being about your wife having an affair with another man, this type of cuckold fantasy can be loving or wild, sensuous or kinky, or a combination.  It may involve domination, voyeurism, bisexuality, humiliation, interracial sex, feminization, penis size fetishes, striptease, bondage, teasing, oral, anal and many other types of sex that certainly do “spice up” that sacred marital bond—even if you never do any of it in real life. For more information about your cuckolding or hotwifing desires, see Dr. Block’s article on “sperm wars.”

Whether or not you act on these desires, it’s always a good idea to talk about them to someone knowledgeable.  Dr. Block can help you to understand your feelings in order to determine what you might want to “act out,” and what is better kept in the realm of fantasy. Sometimes you just want to leave reality for the moment and enter the magical erotic world of fantasy roleplay, and you can do that with Dr. Block or one of our cuckold phone sex therapists.

And yes, of course, you can masturbate (if you want), during sessions.  And no, there is no other phone sex or sex therapy service quite like ours.

Call us anytime at 626.461.5949.

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 Ah, the Golden Water of Life, water that flows freely, shoots majestically and trickles daintily, sun-colored waters that sparkle in the light, tinkle in the porcelain bowl and melt in the mouth of the thirsty connoisseur. Water that heals, arouses, disgusts, excites, offends and humiliates. Water that can feel truly orgasmic in its release, especially after you’ve held it in a little while.

We all do it, and yet it is something special and secretive, something we almost always do in private. We do it in a closet, in a stall, in a sanctuary or behind a tree.  Some say it’s just waste. Others long to take a taste.

But what do we call it? “Peeing” sounds childish, but “pissing” is rather crude. “Taking a whiz” is so casual, but “urophilia,” “urolagnia” and even “urination” are so coldly clinical. Kinky terms are more playful: “Golden Showers,” “Water Sports,” “Wetting,” “Sprinkles.” Then there are more the elegant phrases, like “Sexual Champagne” and “Water of Life.” To differentiate it from its cousin,  Female Ejaculation (Holy Water), we sometimes call it the Golden Water of Life.

Whatever you call it, if you need to talk about it, you can talk to us….
For information, call 626.461.5949

Unlike squirting, peeing is not at all esoteric. Everybody does it. There is no special technique to learn except, perhaps, how to relax so you can piss in front of, or on someone. And, of course, it’s nothing “new.” People have been looking at, touching and drinking urine (uraphagia)  probably for almost as long as people have been urinating. Urine has proven healing properties. The yellower your nectar, the more vitamins reside within it. Yogis and other health nuts drink a glass of their own “juice” every morning for that extra vitamin-rich boost. And no less of an authority than Madonna has confirmed that peeing on the feet heals athlete’s foot.

Yet there is tremendous, almost phobic misunderstanding about the essentially healthy, happy hobby of piss play.  With such a cultural stigma against this natural form of pleasure, introducing your golden shower fetish to a new lover, or even a regular partner, can be a daunting task.  Fortunately, here at the Block Institute, we offer private, confidential phone sex therapy for those who love golden showers to safely and nonjudgementally discuss their fantasies and real life situations.

Need to Talk About Golden Showers? Want to learn how to safely incorporate water sports into your sex life?  Would you like to better understand where your erotic interest in urination came from? Want to role-play a Golden Shower Fantasy–whether you’d like to pee or be peed on? Call us now or anytime 24/7. We’re here for you. 626.461.5949

Are you aroused by your lover baptizing you in golden nectar, peeing all over your genitals, your chest or directly into your mouth?

You may or may not enjoy the actual taste of the urine. If you have submissive tendencies, you may not like the taste at all, but you crave the humiliation of being pissed on or “forced” to imbibe by a beautiful, powerful mistress or strong, well-hung master. One avid male pee drinker describes the thrill of “empowering women” as his main reason for allowing himself to be completely subjugated by inviting a woman’s sacred sprinkles into his mouth.  Some golden shower fetishists revel in the degradation of being drenched by a Dom’s piss or made to swallow it like a human toilet.

Then again, maybe you don’t find receiving a golden shower to be degrading at all; you just enjoy the warm wet intimacy of sharing your lover’s living waters. Of course, sex itself is fluid-intensive; it’s full of warm wetness that is shared intimately, swapped and savored. Golden shower lovers can enjoy the sexual closeness that wetness suggests with added power play and copiously flowing fluid. Some like the taboo nature of indulging in the Yellow Peril, the rush of playing with what most authorities tell you never to touch or taste. Some feel it is an elixir of health and sensuality, others a symbol of enticing shame and mystery.

Do you like to watch others pee?  Perhaps, like the famous British sexologist Havelock Ellis, you are a Golden Shower Voyeur who enjoys catching a glimpse of someone sexy engaged in this ever-so-natural yet publicly forbidden act.

Do you enjoy that feeling of urination desperation when you urgently need to pee, but you’re not allowed…yet?  Do you like to watch someone else going experiencing urination desperation, then finally releasing right before your eyes, or onto your hand?

If you’re a Golden Shower Exhibitionist, then you like to pee in front of people, or on people, or into their mouths, or into a flute for them to drink like champagne, or to release your golden juice like a rocket shooting off into space, preferably in front of an appreciative audience. Or maybe you just enjoy the power of dominating your partner with the gushing power of your piss.

What about the tinkle? Everyone knows that listening to someone pee often makes you feel like peeing.  It can also get you excited.  Some Golden Shower Fetishists get extremely aroused by the mellifluous sound of that telltale tinkle, which can be especially delightful during phone sex. If you’re wearing earphones, it can seem like your lover, mistress or the phone sex operator is actually piddling all over your head.

Want to Listen to the Tinkle Now? Our golden shower phone sex therapists are “holding it” for you…. Call 626.461.5949

Some peeing fetishists enjoy “peeing themselves,” “bed wetting,” “panty wetting,” or being “made” to pee by a dominant partner, sometimes while in panties or adult diapers.  This may involve various forms of erotic fantasy role-play and infantilism, most commonly when a mistress plays the role of a nurse, mother or governess to the submissive who acts like a helpless “child” who can’t help but “mess” his or her panties or diapers. Do you like that liberating, warm, wet, forbidden sensation when you can’t hold back anymore, and the pee fills up your diaper, stains your pants or trickles down your leg?

There many different kinds of water sports, fantasies and activities, not all of which appeal to all peeing fetishists.  But whatever your golden desires, questions, cravings, problems or pleasures, you can share them with the telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Call Us When You Need to Talk: 626.461.5949

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Looking for High Heel Heaven? You’ve come to the right place…
Do high heels get you hot?  Does your temperature rise when a sexy vixen approaches you in 5-inch stilettos?  Then again, maybe you prefer classic pumps or skyscraper sandals.  Do you love it when your lover keeps her heels on during sex?  Then again, perhaps you like to wear the heels yourself as you strut like a diva on the catwalk… Or do you have such a strong high heel fetish that you’d almost rather kiss, worship and play with the shoes themselves—with or without anybody wearing them?  Whatever your personal fetish or fashion preference, our High Heeled Phone Sex Therapists are here to help anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, every day. For information, call 626.461.5949

What is it about high heels that drive you wild?  Is it the shape of the shoe that excites you, its striking, curvaceous form?  Is it the heel itself with a seductive spike, erect and titillating?  Is it the way a pair of heels set off a womanly figure that makes your heart start to race? Do you prefer petite feet in Cinderella heels, or do you like a large pair of platform pumps towering over you like a monument to your desires?    Do you feel that if “the clothes make the man, the shoe makes the woman?”    Ever notice how a woman in a pair of classic pumps radiates style and confidence whether she’s flaunting power plays in the boardroom or bending over backwards in the bedroom?  Maybe you’d even like to hump her pumps…

Or would you rather kick classic to the curb and go for a long, tall pair of hooker heels (aka, stripper shoes)?  Or do you long to throw convention to the wind and rock those heels yourself?  Maybe you need a high-heeled mistress to “make” you wear high heels for her.  Perhaps you’d like her to walk all over you, tease and do kinky things to you with different parts of those high heels—from pointed toe to dagger stiletto.  Or would you rather dominate some sweet, vulnerable hottie in those teetering, fragile high heels?  Do you love to inhale the aromatic combination of foot smell and fine shoe leather?  Do you have difficulty communicating about your high-heeled desires with your partner or potential partners? Do you feel shame or anxiety over your shoe fetish?

 Whatever the nature of your interest in high heels, here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, we “get it,” and we’re here to talk with you about your high heeled pleasures and problems, answer your questions, advise you on your fetishes, and roleplay your fantasies.  To enter High-Heeled Heaven or just talk to a High Heel Phone Sex Therapist right now, call 626.461.5949.

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Are you interested in interracial sex?  Do you prefer sex with partners of different races than yours—or do you at least like to imagine it? Do you have decidedly politically incorrect fantasies about exotic damsels or hyper-sexual alpha males from backgrounds, cultures or races other than your own?  Our Interracial Phone Sex Therapists are here 24/7 to talk with you about your deepest, most taboo desires, problems, pleasures, fantasies and fetishes. We are compassionate, knowledgeable, sexy, caring, and totally discreet. And no, there is no other phone sex or sex therapy service quite like ours when it comes to talking about interracial sex.
For information call 626.461.5949

 In an era of “race-blind” PC culture, why does the thrill of interracial sex continue to captivate so many of us? Though most people don’t talk about it—at least in public—it’s deeply embedded in our cultural thinking to imagine, right or wrong, that some races as earthier, bigger and “better” at sex; some are imagined to be more physical, masculine, dominant, confident or perhaps more animalistic.  Conversely, stereotypes have encouraged us to consider some races as more submissive or feminine. Whether it’s true or not, racist or not, the fantasy of a big black cock or a tiny Asian girl certainly stirs a lot of libidinous imaginations. Do you have “yellow fever?” Or perhaps it’s the spicy latin flavor that makes you hot, hot, hot? Do you have a “thing” for natural blondes?  How about real redheads? Of course, “once you go black, you never go back”—not after a huge black mandingo, that is. Or a big beautiful black woman. Why are high-contrast images of blacks on blondes so popular?  Maybe you have bisexual interracial fantasies.  Or do you like to imagine your spouse or lover engaged in super steamy interracial sex, perhaps in a threesome, or with you as the cuckold?  Perhaps you eroticize the evil old master or mistress/slave relations of plantation days.  We don’t agree with nor do we want to encourage these stereotypes, which may be loving, but are all too often, racist.  After all, the most important fact is that we are all part of the human race.  But we do want to help you to understand your fantasies and decide whether or not to act on them in real life.  We also enjoy helping you to act out your interracial desires—no matter how outrageous, bizarre, politically incorrect or just plain wicked they might be—through phone sex fantasy roleplay.  And you can call us anytime at 626.461.5949

Interracial sex has had a long and fascinating history.  America’s third president and writer of our Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson, is said to have had an intimate sexual relationship with his African-American slave Sally Hemings, siring several children with her.  Some of Jefferson’s writings express his hope that Caucasians and Native Americans would interbreed and form an integrated race of people rather than engage in violence—clearly, he preferred his “Indian Wars” to happen in the bedroom. Nevertheless, interracial sex was illegal as early as 1691. Anti-miscegenation laws remained intact for many years because, according to some historians, the slave class had to be neatly distinguishable from the free classes. Even after slavery was abolished, interracial sex remained socially unacceptable. Meanwhile, rumors and stereotypes circulated around black male sexuality, propagating the idea that African-American men have bigger penises and greater sexual stamina and appetite. Today, interracial porn is a best-selling genre, with the majority showing a black man having sex with a white woman. Is it the intriguing visual contrast of ivory and ebony, the implied conquest, the tortured history, the terrible racism or just the taboo quality of the interracial sex that turns some of us on so much?  If you need to talk about your interracial fantasies or desires, call us at 626.461.5949.

With so much interracial sex happening in the real world, Jefferson’s fantasy may come true on an even larger scale than he imagined.  More and more people are clicking the box that says “mixed” on those forms that ask for your race.  Despite the racists’ attempts at “purity,” eventually, even the idea of “race” will cease to exist, and we will all be mixed.  But right now, the contrast of the human races in terms of color, size and other features—real or imagined—captivates a great many people’s sexual fantasies.  Race is a subject that makes many people uncomfortable, but at the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, no subject is off limits for discussion, therapy or fantasy role-play. Maybe you can’t talk to anyone else about these things, but you can talk to us.  We are here for you right now. Call our Interracial Phone Sex Therapists at 626.461.5949.

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by Dr. Susan Block.

Have you been thinking about group sex? Do you dream of casting all rigid social boundaries aside and indulging in the orgiastic hedonism of a threesome, multiple partners, a swing party, a pansexual celebration, a polyamorous arrangement or a full-on orgy?

Perhaps you already enjoy the pleasures of sex with more than one partner at one time, but you need to talk about your experiences with someone open-minded, knowledgeable and discreet. Maybe you’re considering group sex or the swinging “lifestyle,” and you need to sort out the pros and cons.  Then again, you might believe that multiple partners, free love and orgies are best left in the realm of the imagination, but you’d love to share the fantasy with someone who understands, or maybe even more than one someone at one time; after all, we are talking about group phone sex therapy.

Do you want to make your group sex fantasies come true, at least partially? Do you need to talk about orgies, swinging, “designer relationships,” open marriage, polyamory, communal ecstasy?  Want to know the ins and outs of threesomes, foursomes, and more-somes? Need advice on how to bring these exciting but touchy subjects up to your spouse?  Would you like to experience group phone sex therapy?  Call the Block Institute at 626.461.5949.

Several of our telephone sex therapists are experts in group sex, polyamory, swinging and our world-renowned philosophy of ethical hedonism.  Group sex might sound very kinky for some, but it fulfills a very natural, human need to share erotic, orgasmic, loving experiences with multiple people, friends, loved ones and attractive strangers.  In a world that increasingly demands compartmentalization and isolation, there are few arenas left in which humans can share in this vital, life-affirming experience of communal ecstasy.

 Most of us are expected to meet all our sexual and erotic needs within one relationship, usually a marriage, that is supposed to last our entire adult lives.  Our sexual experiences are expected to be always private, “just the two of us,” usually in a locked bedroom, often in the dark.  There’s nothing wrong with that; in fact, private couple sex with someone you love is probably the most intimate, meaningful kind of sex there is.  But there is something very special and truly wonderful about the “collective joy” (with apologies to Barbara Ehrenreich) of group sex that partner sex simply cannot duplicate.

Many anthropologists agree that prehistoric humans often engaged in various forms of group sex–just as our closest genetic cousins, the bonobos, do–for tens of thousands of years before the advent of farming and “civilization” started pressuring people, especially women, to be sexually monogamous.

Just because human society changed and started trying to squeeze the square peg of our true polyamorous, orgiastic sexual nature into the round hole of traditional marriage and monogamy doesn’t mean human beings changed.  We are still inherently nonmonogamous, or even what Sex at Dawn authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethas, as well as sexpert Dan Savage, call “promiscuous.”  Some of us can “control” our desires for multiple partners and group sex experience better than others.

 Of course, despite society’s sanctions against it, some people have always found ways to enjoy various forms of group sex.  The famously decadent orgies of ancient Rome come to mind.  In the 18^th century, during the period known as The Enlightenment, European intellectuals commonly took pleasure in the delights of partner-swapping—including the proudly promiscuous and ingenious Mary Shelley, author of the classic Frankenstein. Of course, “cheating” has always been a popular option for those who can manage double lives, though often at great risk to the cheaters’ marriages and even their lives.  Swinging rose in popularity in the U.S. during World War II with the “Key Club” parties where married men would leave their house keys in a basket so that other men at the party could enter their homes and have sex with their wives.

As a result of the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 70s, and an increasing openness to nontraditional forms of sexual expression, swinging and other forms of group sex have become increasingly common in America and around the world.  Yet a cultural distrust of group sex still exists, and in many areas of society–especially those that are religious, conservative or very “politically correct”–this distrust and disapproval of any kind of erotic expression that goes beyond the married couple has risen and intensified.  Many normal, sexual people who have a basic human yearning for communal ecstasy are afraid to indulge in it, and even too ashamed to talk about it with their partners.  The repression of these natural desires can put the individual—and the marriage itself–under tremendous toxic stress.

What you do is up to you, of course.  But it always helps to talk about your feelings with someone who understands, someone you can trust with your secrets and desires.  The Block Institute offers conventional sex therapy as well as the opportunity to roleplay a group sex fantasy you may have over the phone through simulated swinging, guided masturbation or erotic hypnosis. Your group sex fantasy may involve orgies, threesomes, fetish play, bisexual activity, cuckolding, domination and submission,breaking taboos,or any number of other forms of erotic adventure.  You can even speak to multiple therapists at one time for group phone sex therapy. As always, your telephone sex therapy call is completely private and confidential.

For more information or to arrange to talk to a therapist right now, call us anytime 24/7 at 626.461.5949.

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Are you haunted by strong fetishes, the desire to be tied up, spanked, whipped, humiliated, trained, teased, disciplined, hypnotized, forced to commit taboo sex acts you’d never act out on your own, or other domination and submission (D/S) fantasies? Do you need help understanding, expressing, experiencing, exploring or just coping with these desires?  Is there a special domination fantasy you’d like to roleplay?

Need To Talk With Someone About Something
You Can’t Talk to Anyone Else About?
You Can Talk To Us.

Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away. For more information, call 626.461.5949.

Overview of our Phone Sex Therapy services and practices.

• Need to talk? The Telephone Sex Therapists of The Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are here to help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, dating to mating, sex addiction to orgasmic fulfillment, male or female ejaculation to intimacy issues, power exchange to crossdressing, kinky fantasies to challenging realities, monogamy to pornography, sexual politics to religious perspectives, “talking dirty” to audio romance, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages, your sexual past to your erotic future, gay, straight, bi or try. And yes, of course, you can masturbate, if you want, during sessions. And no, there is no phone therapy or phone sex service quite like ours.
• Phone Sex Therapy with the Block Institute is totally private and absolutely confidential We listen to you, explore with you, guide you, advise you, inspire you, educate you, roleplay for you, fantasize with you (no fantasy is too taboo). The sky is the limit, but we’re very down-to-earth.
• We use a variety of different therapeutic techniques, including Kinsey-style client interviews and in-depth analysis, fantasy roleplay, G-spot, P-spot and PC muscle exercises, fetish exploration system, sexual confidence building, guided masturbation, compassionate S/M and bondage play, issue-focused phone sex, transgender facilitation, erotic hypnosis and many other pleasure sex techniques. Your therapy is tailor-made for you and your personal needs.
• You can request Dr. Susan Block personally, or you can talk to one of the Institute’s other phone sex therapists or fantasy roleplay artists, each excellent in his or her specialties. We also provide the best “phone sex” you’ll find on the web, an elite, discreet, smart, compassionate, sex revolutionary and highly therapeutic approach to this most intimate of conversations.
• For the privacy, discretion and convenience of our clients, most of our therapy, counseling, coaching and fantasy roleplay is conducted over the telephone. But we also provide in-person therapy and counseling to individuals, couples and groups at the Block Institute’s central location in downtown LA. To be eligible for in-person therapy, you must first have at least three telephone therapy sessions.

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Secrets, Stories & Techniques of G-Spot Female Ejaculation

by Dr. Susan Block

What is Squirting?

One of the great sexual wonders of the world is Female Ejaculation. Called by a variety of names, from the poetic to the worshipful to the crass, it is the Nectar of Aphrodite, the waterfall of womanhood, the champagne of sexuality, a broken fire hydrant, the ultimate orgasm, the geyser of desire. Squirting! Spurting! Spraying! Gushing… Healing as Holy Water, sexy as sin, it’s good for the soul, not to mention the skin. Luminous as a sparkling spring, threatening as a flood of feelings, female ejaculation is carnal proof that a woman’s ability to hit her lover right between the eyes when she comes is equal to that of a man. Thus, its importance is not only erotic, but political, as it is a tangible, palatable (i.e., delicious!), orgasmic symbol of female sexual power.

Often, female ejaculation is even more profuse and forceful than the male variety. Not everyone finds it erotic. Some are repulsed or threatened by the Raging Waters of Venus. Some women squirt naturally, some never do squirt at all, still others learn how to do it. Though female ejaculation is older than humanity, it is on a new frontier of female sexuality. Both women and men are expressing greater and greater interest in it. As a sex therapist, I get asked these questions more and more on my show and in my private practice: How can I squirt? How can I help my partner to squirt? The *meme* of “squirting” is veritably flooding the world. So, batten down the hatches! Better yet, ladies: uncork your champagne! Gentlemen: get ready to get soaked! If the squirting wave hasn’t yet engulfed your neighborhood, it’s on its way to bursting out of the closet (the water closet?), and drenching a bed near you.

When I first discovered the phenomenon of G-spot female ejaculation orgasms, I was intrigued, excited, mystified and challenged. As a sex therapist, I wanted to understand it. As a woman, I wanted to experience it. This essay is about both. It is a journey into the eye of a sexual hurricane, a trip into inner space, delving into the deep sensations, as well as the anatomy, history, technique, spirituality, relationship issues, controversies, culture, comedy and sheer Dionysian-orgasmic release of squirting.

Is It Real?

Throughout Western history, prominent scientists have reported witnessing and experiencing the forceful release of fluids from the vagina during sexual activity. We can begin with the Western world’s most famous ancient scientist, Aristotle, who wrote about the phenomenon of women’s vaginal expulsions during sex, maintaining that they did not have the appearance or aroma of urine, nor did they stain the lady’s toga.

In the first century, the Greek Hippocratic “Father of Medicine” Galen, described the “fluid in the female prostate” as thinner than in males. In the 1500’s, the Italian anatomist and surgeon Realdo Colombo, who claimed to have discovered the clitoris which he called “the sweetness of Venus,” wrote about female fluid “rushing out” and “coming in one gush” from a woman in a state of sexual excitement. The first modern description of female ejaculation came from the Netherlands, which is not so surprising as the Dutch have long been open-minded about sex. In the 17th century, Dr. Regnier DeGraaf wrote about the urethra being pierced by ducts through which fluids are discharged, “occasionally in large quantities.” In 1880, Dr. Alexander Skene found two glands in the urethra that emit prostate fluid. These are now called the Skene’s glands.

In the 1940s, American gynecologist Dr. Arnold Kegal discovered that if a woman has a strong PC, she is less likely to suffer from urinary incontinence. Just in case you don’t know, the PC is not politically correct (on the contrary!), nor is it a personal computer. The PC is the pubococcygeus, also known as the “sex muscle,” right between the genitals and the anus. This is the muscle you squeeze to stop yourself from peeing. Both men and women have PC muscles, and both benefit from squeezing and releasing them in what’s known as a Kegel exercise. Whatever your gender or genitalia, squeezing and releasing your PC muscle helps you to have bigger, stronger orgasm with and without squirting.

In 1950, a German obstetrician, Dr. Ernest Grafenberg found a very sensitive spot inside the vagina which he immediately named after himself: the G-spot, handily located just an inch or so up from the entrance on the side of the vagina closest to a woman’s abdomen. Dr. Grafenberg found that stimulation of the G-spot could lead to expulsion of fluid from the urethra. “Large quantities of a clear, transparent fluid expelled not from the vulva, but out of the urethra in gushes,” gushed Dr. G. “At first, I thought that the bladder sphincter had become defective by the intensity of the orgasm. But,” he continued, “the fluid was examined and it had no urinary character (rather it was) secretions of the intra-urethral glands correlated with the erotogenic zone along the urethra in the anterior vaginal wall.” Sounds like Mrs. G was a gusher.”

Despite Dr. G’s discoveries, G-spot fever didn’t take hold of 1950s Western society. Even the sex-positive feminists of the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 70s pretty much ignored it. Feminists proclaimed women’s essential equality with men in and out of the bedroom, but somehow missed the fact that a woman can squirt like a man, sometimes with even greater force. Most women who did ejaculate were quiet about it, often mistaking it for urination.

In the 1980s, the bestselling book The G-Spot by Dr. Alice Kahn Ladas, Dr. Beverly Whipple and Dr. John Perry, broke through the dykes, and a wealth of information about women’s sexuality, including G-spot orgasm and female ejaculation, gushed forth. Since the 1990’s, several studies have been done by Perry and Whipple, as well as Dr. Milan Zaviacic, Dr. Gary Schubach and Dr. Cabello Santamaria, regarding the liquid expelled during female ejaculation to determine the chemical makeup. According to Wikipedia, the expelled fluid has been found to contain fructose and sucrose, two natural forms of sugar. It also includes very low levels of creatinine and urea (the two primary chemical components of urine, found in high levels in pre- and post-ejaculatory urinalysis). Most interestingly, it contains prostate-specific antigen (PSA), the fluid produced by males in the prostate gland, which forms the base of male ejaculate. In females, it is generated by the Skene’s glands which are located in the G-spot. That’s why some people, including world-renowned FE expert Deborah Sundahl, author of Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot, and featured in BlockFilms’ award-winning DVD Dr. Suzy’s Squirt Salon(s), call the G-spot the “female prostate.”

In Eastern history, female ejaculation and the G-spot have long been recognized as important aspects of normal female sexuality. Tantric sex practitioners often refer to the G-spot as the Goddess Spot or sacred spot. They call the fluid “amrita,” the nectar of the gods. The Kama Sutra is almost certainly referring to female ejaculation when it says “The semen of women continues to fall from the beginning of the sexual union to its end.” Images of women ejaculating are carved into Buddhist and Hindu temples, along with other erotic sculptures. Japanese woodcuts show women squirting into bowls in ecstasy. Many East Asian men and women drank female ejaculate for its supposed aphrodisiac and rejuvenating qualities.

A Storm of Controversy

Despite the scientific evidence, the medical establishment has long been extremely dubious about female ejaculation. Over the years, the subject of G-spot female ejaculation has stimulated a veritable thunderstorm of debate among sex researchers, doctors, sex educators, porn stars, lovers, husbands and wives. Detractors insist that there is no G-spot, that women who squirt during orgasm are just peeing while they’re coming, and all this hoopla over G-spot female ejaculation is nothing but a glorified golden shower.

But those of us who have experienced the power and glory of G-spot female ejaculation – giving or receiving – know that it exists. This is not a matter of faith; this is the science of sex. Squirting orgasms have been documented, researched and chemically analyzed. In that regard, my own experience, as well as my video-study in female ejaculation, Dr. Suzy’s Squirt Salon(s) provided me with extremely strong evidence. Too bad film isn’t something you can scratch and sniff, because then you would know that it doesn’t smell like urine! But the pleasure and power of female ejaculation do come across onscreen. You can see it, you can hear, and you feel it. And it feels good.

This *feel-good* aspect of squirting is perhaps another reason that the naysayers have held sway over the years. Female ejaculation is a pure recreational pleasure that has no apparent direct role in procreation, except that women who squirt may, over the millennia, have procreated more, simply because we tend to enjoy sex more.

Skepticism about squirting goes from the lab to the bedroom. On one of the Squirt Salons, Rebecca, a part-Native American (Cherokee) woman called in from South Dakota. She had no trouble squirting; she’d been doing it almost all of her adult life and loved it. Her problem was getting her new boyfriend to enjoy it with her. In fact, he didn’t even believe that it was real. He accused her of peeing on him, implying that she was being rude. My guest expert Deborah Sundahl and I tried to help Rebecca to navigate the challenges of sharing the pleasures of female ejaculation with a skeptical lover. First, do the smell test; comparing the aroma of female ejaculate with that of urine. Next, let him read the scientific literature on the subject.

In 2002, Dr. Emmanuele Jannini of Italy’s L’Aquila University conducted a study that found that the Skene’s gland openings vary in size from one woman to another, and some women appear not to have them at all. If Skene’s glands do cause female ejaculation, this may explain why some women can do it profusely, while others can’t at all, or just produce a little spurt (though a little spurt can feel mighty good!). According to other studies conducted by Dr. Cabello Santamaria, the phenomenon of “retrograde female ejaculation,” where the fluid travels up the urethra towards the bladder, could also explain why many ladies can’t or simply don’t squirt. Many women, when they learn to ejaculate, realize that they have squirted in the past, but they haven’t known what it was. Many have ejaculated into the toilet during or immediately after sex, assuming, of course, that they were peeing.

Female ejaculation is by no means “necessary” for female sexual pleasure. But it is a healthy, normal, natural feminine experience that some women have without even trying. But just because it’s “natural” doesn’t mean any woman can do it without help. Just as many women (like me), needed to learn how to have a *regular* orgasm, most of us need to learn how to ejaculate. We need to learn a combination of technique and relaxation. And guys who are interested need to learn how to help, if they really want to help.

Learning How to Squirt

Female Ejaculation is an everyday miracle. Just about every normal woman has the anatomy for it, but most don’t do it. Moreover, the practice is veiled in mystery. Some porn films show it, but they don’t explain what it is or how to do it. Sometimes they even use misleading tricks, like filling the woman’s vagina with water that she then squirts out for the camera. Some sex education videos and books explain female ejaculation in much the same way that this essay tries to do, but they don’t show it very well. Granted, it is difficult to explain. Thus, over the years, I have tried to create my own videos and literature that shows this process as clearly, and with us much fun and erotic delight, as possible.

I first heard the term “G-spot female ejaculation” from Deborah Sundahl back in 1992 at a Lifestyles Convention, having wandered into her seminar quite by accident. I had never heard of such a thing as women having “squirting” orgasms, at least not on purpose. Neither had anyone else in the seminar. It was something “new” and very exciting, but rather confusing and seemed way out of my personal realm-of-possibility, especially in a seminar like this, where we were sitting in rows of chairs as if we were in a biology class. I found Deborah to be quite charming and knowledgeable, and interviewed her on my show a couple of times, but didn’t get an intimate lesson in squirting from her until 12 years later! In the meantime, I would encounter a slightly different approach to the art and science of female ejaculation.

The Braun Method

Years passed, and I didn’t give much thought to female ejaculation until I met one of the most prominent, prolific, “hands-on” (and fingers in) modern crusaders for G-spot female ejaculation, Axel “The G-Man” Braun. Axel (now an award-winning director) is the handsome, nimble-fingered son of renowned Italian sex pioneer and filmmaker Lasse Braun. The elder Braun, an old friend of mine (now dearly departed), had written a booklet, The Nectar of Aphrodite, a sort of G-Spot Female Ejaculation Manifesto based upon his personal research into the phenomenon with 130 different women. Braun the Younger took his father’s work into the next generation of ejaculation.

Axel has long boasted that he can “make any woman squirt.” He almost lives up to his grandiose claim, having succeeded with 12 out of 15 of the women on whom he’s tried his method at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, most notably the vivacious and juicy Shayna Knight. As for the other three: One was deadset against squirting at all; she wanted to prove him wrong, and she did. Another was sick with a 102 degree fever (on another occasion, when she was well, she did squirt). The third admitted that she was too worried about what her jealous boyfriend would think to relax and let anything happen. The other 12, myself among them, all squirted with Axel, even though we’d never squirted before.

The “Braun Method” is all in the finger action. It begins with the woman lying back, legs spread open, her partner (let’s call him the “G-Man”;) at her right side, if he is right-handed. After some sort of foreplay (kissing, oral sex, nipple play, rubbing the clitoris and labia, whatever gets her wet), the G-Man inserts two fingers into her vagina. Axel uses his middle and ring fingers for this, though you might prefer to use your middle and forefingers. Slowly, the G-Man moves his two fingers around inside of her, continuing the foreplay – rubbing her clit, playing with her nipples, lightly spanking her butt, etc. With probing fingers, he locates her G-Spot. He can feel it as a slightly raised, spongy, ridged bump on the “roof” of the vaginal cave. In most women, it is just behind the clitoris, and some experts consider it to be an extension of the clitoris. He then finds the center of this spot, pressing it gently but firmly. This pressure releases a warm flow of fluid, whereupon the G-Man begins vigorously “fingering” her, in and out of her vaginal opening, causing the rapid expulsion of fluid. That is, female ejaculation.

The first time Axel made me squirt was New Year’s 2000. Talk about toasting the New Millennium with my own Cristal Ejaculate! I’d just done a New Year’s show, plus received a particularly good whipping from Axel’s Daddy Lasse on Mario Saucedo’s Bondage Cross, and sat down and up a few times on Mario’s Dildo Chair. All that wild “foreplay” mixed with a few flutes of champagne got me loosened and lubricated for adventure. While Lasse was whipping me, Axel was whispering into my ear that he wanted to make me squirt.

I’d seen several women ejaculate – Deborah, Kiss, Annie Sprinkle and Carol Queen, to name a few – but I’d never been able to do it myself, not that I’d really tried. I was also one of those skeptics who wondered if it wasn’t just peeing while you’re coming. Not that there’s anything wrong with a nice golden shower, but well, that’s just peeing.

But Axel and Lasse both, each commandeering one of my ears, promised me it wasn’t just peeing. Moreover, Axel insisted he could make me squirt without my knowing how to do a thing. As soon as I agreed, Axel disappeared into the bathroom to wash up. Emerging with sleeves rolled up and hands raised, he looked like a surgeon about to operate, or a magician showing he had nothing up his sleeve.

Just to prove to myself that it wasn’t urine, I took a nice long whiz right before sitting down with Axel. As I was already highly aroused and very wet thanks to all that whipping and whispering, Axel didn’t have to do much in the way of foreplay. He slid his middle and ring fingers easily between my inner labia and into my vagina and immediately began probing around for my G-Spot. Once he located the raised spongy spot under the roof of my vaginal cave, he pressed it gently yet firmly. I felt a slight pinprick sensation, followed by a gushing feeling in my womb, at which point Axel began his dynamic forceful fingering technique. In and out, in and out. I felt like I was blacking out, but I could hear the oohing and ahhing of spectators around me. Actually, I felt kind of like a human washing machine (in a good way!) on rinse cycle. My eyes were closed, so I couldn’t see myself squirt, but when I was done, everyone assured me that I had, indeed, ejaculated. I also noticed that Axel’s arm and the towel I sat on, as well as the sofa under it, were soaked with my bountiful juices. Later, I looked at the video. Yes, indeed, there I was, squirting like a burst water pipe.

These juices did not smell like pee. They smelled like pussy.

As for the orgasm itself, it was intense, a little bit painful, and exhilarating like a roller coaster ride, leaving me breathless, dizzy and more than a little worn out. A few minutes afterwards, I found myself feeling hornier than usual and wound up having a lot of wild wet sex that night. No more squirting, but some of my deepest, longest, juiciest orgasms ever.

From 2000-2004, I experienced G-spot female ejaculation about a half dozen more times, all with the G-Man, a frequent guest at my Speakeasy. Though I couldn’t yet squirt with my husband or other sexual partners, I noticed that my regular orgasms became stronger, longer and more frequent than ever, and I seemed to lubricate more easily and copiously than before.

Ivona’s Way

During this time, I met Ivona Diamond. When Ivona came to the Dr. Susan Block Institute, she had never squirted before. One night after the show, Axel asked her if she’d like to try it. Ivona’s boyfriend Larry went down on her as I played with her nipples. Then she let Axel’s fingers do the walking, using the Braun Method to make her ejaculate forcefully within about 10 minutes. Ivona is a very sensuous, adventurous woman. So no one was too surprised when she let loose and squirted up a small tropical storm. Still it was a baptismal sexual revelation. Soon Ivona became a Squirting Star. She squirted for me at my birthday party and at the first show on my broadcast bed at a new building of ours. Just as they christen a new ship with champagne, we uncorked our own personal Sex Bubbly to kick off a new era for the show in our beautiful virgin space. She squirted on her own birthday and for Halloween. She squirts regularly at home too.

Ivona still enjoys G-spot female ejaculation according to the Braun Method, which Larry mastered along with oral sex. But Ivona taught herself to squirt quite profusely with no fingering at all. With nothing but the firm pressure of her favorite plug-in vibrator, Mr. Hitachi, on her clitoris, labia and pushed-out G-Spot, Ivona can spray like a turbo-charged sprinkler system in a matter of seconds.

How does she do it? Goddess only knows, but she does it almost every time. Some women are squirting naturals; they do it without even trying. In fact, if they haven’t been educated about female ejaculation or if they have ignorant lovers, they may even be embarrassed about it, though, of course, they shouldn’t be. Ivona’s not exactly a natural. She didn’t start squirting until the G-Man pressed her button. But she does practice and, at this point, she can pretty much squirt on command. Here’s her essential routine: She lies down, head propped against pillows, legs bent and spread wide, buns raised up slightly off the bed. She lubricates her sizeable clitoris and abundant inner labia with her saliva (or Larry’s), then pulls those big wet butterfly lips open, placing Mr. Hitachi’s head right under her clitoris and over her spread labia. Then she presses Mr. Hitachi down, turning him on high speed, raising her butt, breathing deep, squeezing and releasing her kegel or pubococcygeous (PC) muscles and gently but firmly pushing out her G-spot so that it is stimulated by Mr. Hitachi. After a minute or two, or maybe at the most, three, her eyes squeeze shut and a high-pitched moan emerges from her throat. A second or two later, the geyser erupts. It lasts up to five seconds. The amount of ejaculate that she releases ranges from not much more than a sparkly spritz of pussy perfume to a dazzling, gushing tsunami of amrita. Her secret? Practice, she says. Also, she says it’s easier to for her to squirt a lot when she hasn’t done it for a couple of weeks. Just like guys.

Annie Body: Squirting Superstar

Most of us can only squirt once or twice in a session. Some women are squirters unlimited. Take the amazing Annie Body who made her first appearance on my show in February, 2002. It was a low-key night with no other guests and no studio audience. Just me, my staff and Annie. Ms. Body, with her horn-rimmed glasses, naturally faded jeans and form-fitting lavender and purple toe socks, looked more like a college biology major than the porn star she is. Little did I know that this sweet, petite, slightly nerdy-looking young lady would turn out to be one of my hottest, wettest, wildest guests ever, and I’d discover exciting aspects of female biology I’d never witnessed before.

At first, Annie just bounced around like a sexual puppy, licking me everywhere and doing it doggystyle with her friend AIN‘s Steve Nelson. But it wasn’t long before we witnessed a rather remarkable aspect of Annie’s body. That is, when Steve gently but firmly slapped her clitoris and swollen labia with his penis, she started squirting profusely. Wow! What a splash! I’d never seen a woman emit so much fluid! Steve could only cock-slap for so long, but Annie kept on squirting, like a backyard sprinkler. Then she let me do it. I’d never before made a woman squirt by my own hand! But I had no trouble making Annie squirt, spray, ejaculate and come like the Trevi Fountain over and over again, just by lightly slapping her engorged vulva.. I must admit it was a thrill, and I gave Annie a big hug and kiss for making it so easy for me.. She was ecstatic because, she said, this was only the second time she’d squirted in her life! I wasn’t sure what to make of that. But I felt this was indeed a very special occasion. All that squirting made Annie thirsty. She took a long slurp of ice water and spit it out, reminding me of how much squirting is like spitting. Her saliva traveled across the bed like a cruise missile, hitting Steve in just the right spot. Then she went, lickety-spit to lick up her spit, and wound up giving him a very nice blowjob.

That, of course, is another story. I didn’t see Annie again until 2004 when she came back to squirt even more voluminously on several shows in succession, including “Bonobos and Missionaries in the Squirting Pussy Rainforest,” “Faith-Based Sex,” “Dommes & Hollie” and “Future Sex.” That last show featured another female ejaculator, Avy Lee Roth (80s rock star David Lee Roth’s porn star daughter), who had squirted once on another one of my shows, “Latina Orgasmical” while singing “Girl You Got Me” along with her dad. Squirting is so rock ‘n roll.

The Sundahl Method

But the most important session of female ejaculation we’ve ever had here at the Institute would have to be the long, erotic, highly educational, soaking wet night we call Dr. Suzy’s Squirt Salon(s). It was indeed a baptismal sexual revelation. My featured guest was noted FE expert Deborah Sundahl. Deborah stayed over at the Institute for a few days before the show. While she was here, I read her book Female Ejaculation & the G-Spot. One afternoon, I went up to the roof to do my usual yoga exercises, and I brought the book and a little hand mirror with me. There I was all alone with a panoramic view of Los Angeles, a towel, a pussy mirror, and this book on how to squirt. Sometimes I get aroused from just going through various yoga positions, and this was one of those times. I picked up the book and reread the parts with directions on how to squirt.

Learning about sex from books isn’t for everybody. But books have always helped me with my own sexuality. I learned how to have my first orgasm from Betty Dodson‘s Sex for One (then entitled Liberating Masturbation). That afternoon, I learned how to female ejaculate on my own from Deborah’s book. Of course, the book is much more detailed than this essay, and I highly recommend it if you’re interested in learning to squirt. But here’s essentially what I did: First, I urinated downstairs before I went up on the roof. Then I found my private spot, spread out my towel and did about 30 minutes of slow sensuous yoga, breathing deeply, squeezing and releasing my PC muscles, concentrating on the pleasurable feelings in my body in general and my genitalia in particular. Next, I licked my fingers, and stuck my hands in my panties (I didn’t feel quite certain enough that I wouldn’t be seen to get completely naked. I rubbed my now juicy clitoris until I was very excited but not orgasming. Then, I stuck my index finger inside my vagina, crooking it into the “come hither” position, and rubbed and pressed my G-spot, feeling the ridges on the bump just an inch up from the entrance.

I took my time. I didn’t try to ejaculate, didn’t really expect to ejaculate. I just focused on the pleasurable feelings in my G-spot. I felt it growing, swelling, enlarging against my finger. As Deborah’s book suggested, I let it build and grow bigger and fuller. Every so often, I’d stop and breathe deep, and on the out-breath, I pushed as if I was going to pee, but I didn’t pee. I just pushed out my G-Spot, so it was practically outside my labia. Sometimes it felt as if my G-spot was ballooning out on its own.

Deborah cautions against pushing too hard and straining yourself. But I found that pushing out slowly and gently did lead me to squirt. That’s right, I had my very first self-propelled female ejaculation experience, with Deborah’s book in one hand as my other hand rubbed and pressed my G-spot. I first felt it on my finger, then I pulled out my finger along with a stream of hot flowing ejaculate that wound up soaking my panties, the towel and the book, and seemed to make the police helicopter circling above me screech to a halt in the sky. I sniffed my soaked panties and was pleased to find them smelling very faintly of flowers, certainly not of urine. I floated blissfully on my wet towel under the clouds for who knows how long. Then I ran downstairs to show Deborah who sniffed my panties and squealed with delight. “Congratulations, Suzy, you ejaculated!”

Leila’s Tantric Ejaculation

The next night, I held the Squirt Salon(s) with Deborah, Annie and a lovely lady named Leila Swan, whom I dubbed the “Missionary of Squirting,” since she hails from an Evangelical Christian background. Leila’s father was a preacher who baptized people in the river; now she baptizes her lovers with ejaculate. Leila told the story of how she left her home on a farm, went to Hawaii and got involved in Tantric sex, awakened her ability to ejaculate. It’s not surprising that the techniques of Tantra, including deep breathing, PC muscle exercise, extended attention to female pleasure and male self-control, and maximizing a woman’s orgasmic potential, would sometimes result in female ejaculation.

After Leila’s story, a young lady named Maria called in on the show from the San Fernando Valley and told us that she was a squirter who had never been with another woman, and she could stop fantasizing about that. As Maria masturbated, I wove a story out of the reality of four hot women getting ready to squirt all over each other in her bed. Maria moaned and said she ejaculated. Next Richard called in from West LA, and asked for help in finding the G-spot. At this point, Deborah gave Richard – and the audience – a detailed, very close-up, anatomy lesson in how to find the G-spot, using Leila’s beautiful G-Spot as a model. I invited our cameras to go “spelunking” into Leila’s vaginal cave. Deborah said that never before had the G-spot been shown in such intimate, close-up detail. Then, she located Annie’s G-spot. Finding it was so stimulating that Annie gave Deborah a very wet surprise! Just being a diagram made her squirt!

Then Ken called in from Texas, and told the story of his first-time experience with a woman who ejaculated. He asked what shape penis is best for getting a woman to squirt. Deborah explained that it didn’t really matter because even the light touch of a finger can get a girl to ejaculate, as she had just demonstrated with Annie. But Annie and Leila insisted that a curved cock is best for *hitting the spot.* All this talk about cocks and curves got Annie very excited, so she spread out an American flag towel, sat down on it with her legs spread wide, started fingering her G-spot and slapping her clitoris, and before we could say, Tidal wave!” she was squirting up a storm, a flowing Fountain of Venus.. Soon, everyone was covered in ejaculate.

“You want to get fucked really hard,” Deborah said to Annie.

“You want to fuck me?” Annie challenged the teacher.

Deborah accepted the challenge and proceeded to use her strong, skilled fingers to give Annie several more astounding ejaculatory orgasms, all the while explaining exactly what she is doing for the benefit of the audience. Then Annie squirted into a glass bowl, and I poured the ejaculate into a champagne flute, which we all passed around, sniffed and even sipped. Everyone agreed that the liquid looked, tasted and smelled nothing like urine. Trying to describe it was difficult though, like explaining fine wine!

To top off her performance, Annie fisted herself! Then she ran off to get her strap-on, and Leila assumed center stage to demonstrate the art and science of female ejaculation with toys, using a curved G-Spot Stimulator Magic Wand and a small vibrating egg.

Leila’s ejaculate was not as forceful as Annie’s, but just as beautiful, a bit lighter and more delicate in delivery, but almost as profuse. Leila squirts more than a bowlful, and we poured her nectar into another champagne flute, sipped and compared it with Annie’s. Then Leila’s lover, Big D, entered the scene, showing his sexual mettle by taking a large swig of Leila’s ejaculate from the champagne flute and smacking his lips with pleasure. Since Big D was wearing a skirt (well, a kilt), I assumed he wanted someone to lift it. So I did, only to find out just why he is called Big D. Leila proceeded to give him expert, loving fellatio, as Johnny from Hollywood called in, eager to see my G-spot…

I wasn’t quite ready for that, so I took a call from Joyce in Iowa. Joyce boasted about her ability to squirt six feet, then proceeded to masturbate quite audibly as Leila rode Big D’s big dick, bringing both Joyce and Leila to fantastic squirting orgasms. Then Mike called in from New York with statistical questions like “How much can a woman squirt?” which Deborah tried to answer as best as she could, with a veritable orgy going on around us. As Leila turned and rode Big D reverse-cowgirl style, we took another close-up look at Leila’s G-spot. After all that riding and squirting, Leila’s G-spot was more than twice the size it was before! It was so big and expressive; it seemed to speak to us. I called it “Pussy Talk,” a show within the show.

After a little cartoony Pussy Talk, we went to a deeper level, discussing the profound emotional aspects of the G-spot, the “Gateway to Higher Love.” Then it was Deborah’s turn. She showed her own G-spot to one of my cameras, as Annie and our other camera went out into the studio audience, finding couples and threesomes inspired to make love by all the exhilarating ejaculation action on the bed.

I Squirt with Deborah

Then Deborah offered to help me find my G-spot. This seemed like a fun idea. I had, of course, found it with my fingers many times, and gotten a glimpse of it in the mirror when I was on the roof. However, I’d never before seen it bigger than life on a television monitor. This would be very cool. But first I had to pee. After all, the Squirt Salon is a pretty long, intimate show with no breaks. So I decided to pee right on camera into a “pee pot” that we keep handy for such occasions. Since I was in the mood for making a statement, I grabbed a photoshopped photo of our President giving me head and stuck it into the pot. Then I “Peed on Bush,” releasing a stream of my political frustration along with my golden showers. Annie and Kim also peed on Bush. With this, it was apparent to all that our pee was very different from the ejaculate. It was yellow, smelled strongly of urine and had a noticeably thinner texture than the female ejaculate.

Then it was time for my own G-Spot Revelation. I leaned back against the pillows, opened my legs, breathed deep and pushed out as Deborah stimulated my G-spot with her forefinger. She rubbed it very slowly, telling me to relax, not an easy thing for me to do while I’m hosting a show. Of course, I had relaxed and ejaculated on the roof the day before. But I’d been alone and had plenty of time. Now I had an audience, including cameras. Of course, I’d done it on the show with Axel several times in the past. But he had really done all the “work.” It didn’t matter what I did; he just whipped the ejaculate right out of me. According to the Sundahl Method, I am more in control of my own ejaculation. So I had to really relax and feel the pleasure. To accomplish that, I imagined I was at the beach with waves crashing between my thighs. I closed my eyes, trying to forget the cameras and the audience. I breathed deep, and pushed out, feeling the pleasurable sensations of Deborah’s finger gently rubbing my most intimate swelling spot, and then the next thing I knew, I was ejaculating ~ twice! What a surprise! I was speechless…for about a minute.

Then I called for champagne, and all the Squirting Stars came together for a giddy, Dionysian celebration, kind of a cross between a women’s consciousness-raising group and a drunken orgy. I was on a roll. With Deborah’s help, I ejaculated a third time. An erotic “After-Party” followed with masked dancing and more squirting hot sex. With Annie’s help, I ejaculated a fourth time. The evening climaxed, fittingly enough, with Big D climaxing, providing a nice reminder that men squirt too! Praise the Lord and the Lady. We are all loving, squirting beings.

Since the night of the Squirt Salon(s), I’ve drenched many towels in squirting sex with my husband. I’ve also hosted other wet shows, including Faith-Based Sex, Squirt Crazy, Dommes & Hollie, Spring Showers, and Double-Annie Squirting Anniversary which featured 21-year-old Squirting Star Annie Cruz, as well as our beloved Rainforest Princess Annie Body.

Can You Learn to Squirt?

So, can you learn to squirt? Yes, you can! But will you? To some degree, it’s up to you. As with any kind of learning, the first thing you need is motivation. Some, maybe most, women are just not motivated to do this, and that’s fine. Female ejaculation is optional. You certainly don’t have to ejaculate to be a happy, healthy, orgasmic, sexual woman. Some women aren’t interested. Some just don’t have the time. When you’re worried about where your next meal is coming from, squirting is not at the top of your list of things to do. For some, it’s “against their religion,” which says only men should wear the pants and do the squirting in the family. Some women think men don’t like it. Fact is that some men do; some don’t. The ones that do tend to be the kind that really enjoy and seek out women’s pleasure, and aren’t too fussy about getting soaked with a splash of amrita.

Speaking of which, there are practical issues. Some women don’t like sleeping on wet sheets. I confess this to be one of my own problems with squirting regularly. This is one reason why I, like so many women, tend to hold back from ejaculating during sex; then, at a certain point, I tell my lover, “I gotta go pee,” then run into the bathroom and squirt into the toilet. Yes, the mess is an issue. Female ejaculate doesn’t stain, but it does tend to soak everything within a 1-6 foot radius; just think of spilling a glass of water in bed. You can put a towel down, but a really good squirt soaks right through the towel. Best to do it in the bath, on a nice clean floor, on the roof, or best of all, in a bed you won’t be sleeping in that night.

Face it, G-spot female ejaculation is one of those decadent pleasures, like fresh oysters, that require the right circumstances and preparation, as well as post-pleasure clean-up. Is it worth it? Well, aren’t fresh oysters worth it, at least occasionally? Yes, they can be bitches to crack open, but if you succeed, you have yourself a real treat. So, isn’t reaching a new height in sexual pleasure worth a little effort? I think so. But then, I love fresh oysters. At least, occasionally.

Once you’ve got the motivation, you might find yourself squirting like a sprinkler system with just a little concentration and some good G-spot rubbing sex. More likely, you’ll need some instruction, which you can obtain through books, videos, the personal touch, whatever works for you. Then again, maybe this little essay is enough to get you going, or perhaps you need to read Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot and/or watch the Squirt Salon(s) or another show or clip on the subject. Some of you may need more instruction than others. Some of you may have psychological or physiological *learning disabilities* that plug up your porthole, so to speak. Don’t be discouraged. If you really want to squirt, eventually you probably will. Most of us hold it back for myriad reasons, good and bad, crazy and sane, conscious and unconscious. But we can all squirt. Remember: the human body is about 75 per cent H2O. It’s just a question of letting a little out.

Yes, indeed, Brothers & Sisters, Lovers & Sinners. Let the holy water shoot forth! Squirt Bombs produce Shock and Awe with Zero Casualties. Squirt for joy! Squirt for peace. Flood the world with pleasure. Cover the earth in cum. At least, occasionally…

Addendum (May 2015):

Since I wrote this essay over 10 years ago, I’ve squirted hundreds of times. I’ve also helped dozens of women to squirt, some for the first time. Others are Squirting Stars, like Deauxma, Eden Alexander, Rainey Lain, Kartier, Vicky Vixen, Alexandra Silk and many more.

During this time, several naysayers have said denied the existence of female ejaculation, as well as the G-Spot itself, citing specious, sloppy studies and fluid-phobic old wives’ tales. But many others, including myself, have defended the reality of the G-Spot and squirting, with eloquence, experience and science. So… let the rivers flow and the geysers shoot! Don’t be afraid… it’s Holy Water, Brothers and Sisters!

Need to talk about squirting or any other aspect of human sexuality? Call Us Now:
626.461.5949

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Good help is hard to come by, especially when it comes to female sexuality. Such issues are rarely discussed, let alone understood, by traditional therapists, counselors and clergy who are not often equipped or willing to deal with sex questions or problems, outside of pat “sweep-it-under-the-rug” solutions.

Fear of sex, fear of the inner erotic woman, fear of social, family and religious criticism can have a devastating effect on a woman’s physical, mental and spiritual well-being. Some sexual fears are based on facts, but millions of women around the world suffer under old myths and misinformation that can rob you not only of your personal satisfaction, but also your self-esteem, creativity, success, the pursuit of happiness and even love itself.

It’s not easy when the erotic woman inside has to deal with the outside world’s conventions of female, sexual discrimination. It’s not easy balancing your own needs with the needs of those you love. It’s not easy to find and cultivate what you desire. Sometimes you can use a little help…

Let Us Help You Now. Don’t Let Another Minute Go By.

Looking for Some Answers to Your Sexuality Questions? Make The Phone Call that Could Change Your Life… Really!  Call The Block Institute at 213-291-9497

For almost two decades, the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences has been helping women, as well as men, couples and groups, to explore their sexuality, conquer their fears and attain their desires.

Susan M. Block, Ph.D., director of the Institute, is an internationally renowned best-selling author, HBO personality, talk radio host, magna cum laude graduate of Yale University with a doctorate in psychology, and a professional member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), with one of the largest private and diverse sex therapy practices in the world.

Find out why Women Fitness Magazine credits Dr. Susan Block with virtually inventing the now extremely popular practice of sex therapy via the telephone back in 1991.  “People have been treated using phone sex therapy and have experienced great success in their healing,”  writes Women Fitness. “Who is to thank for this new phenomenon? A wonderful woman by the name of Susan Block!”

Dr. Block has put together a fantastic international team of dedicated, creative and caring men and women with different areas of expertise who can guide or assist you in almost all aspects of sexuality. We can help you with anything from simple sex questions to complex issues to the more fun and exciting explorations of fantasy and role-playing with our male or female therapists. And we’re always here for you 24/7, 365 days a year. You can call us anytime you need to talk.

We’re As Close As Your Phone. That’s Pretty Close! Call Us Now:   You’re Worth It!

The Block Institute is the leader in sex therapy for women over the phone.  Some of our senior therapists have been researching, counseling and writing about women’s sexual issues for over three decades. With our experience, expertise, insight, creativity, openness, passion and compassion, we can help you to have an exciting and satisfying sex life, increase your self-esteem, guide you toward understanding and dealing with your own as well as your partner’s sexuality, enhance your erotic empowerment, explore your forbidden fantasies, improve your erotic technique and seductive style, reduce stress, cope with your or your partner’s fetishes or personal memories, overcome religious or familial oppression, as well as energize your entire life. We’ll help you open the doors to better orgasms – or first orgasms – as well as higher love, greater success and deeper joy.

Many reactionary cultures around the world are trying to repress the modern explosion in positive, fact-based sex information for women. But we believe it’s too late: The Pussycat is out of the bag! Women are sexual beings. Men aren’t the only ones with sex drives, though a woman’s needs can be more subtle and complex. This is why women often need to *learn* how to have an orgasm–both the “regular” and “squirting” kinds–something almost all men can do without instruction. And there are many other things women need to learn about our sexual bodies, minds and souls. The School of Life teaches you much of what you need to know, but sometimes you benefit greatly with a little help from an expert.

Never Done Anything Like This Before?

One of the benefits of talking to a therapist, instead of a friend or relative, is that friends and relatives, no matter how much they love you, tend to have a personal agenda with regard to you. Sometimes they have that agenda because they love you and want you to *be* a certain way. Thus you tend to censor what you say to a friend or relative because you care what they think of you. You’re worried more about how they judge you than really getting the help you need.

You might feel freer talking to someone who doesn’t know you so well, maybe someone you’ve just met at a bar or in the gym. But then, you have to wonder, are they really listening to you, or just waiting for their turn to talk?

The therapists at the Block Institute will not judge you. And we will really listen and respond according to your needs, using a powerful array of techniques (traditional, non-traditional and innovative) to break through walls of fear, repression and misinformation. We take a holistic approach and, depending on the client, use Kinsey-style questions and analysis, fantasy role-play, Kegel muscle exercises, Tantric breathing techniques, G-spot female ejaculation tips, fetish exploration, sexual confidence building, masturbation meditation, sensate focus exercises, intercourse and outercourse, issue-focused phone sex, erotic hypnosis, sex toy play and many other pleasure sex techniques which are not only pleasurable, but almost inevitably have a positive, rejuvenating effect upon your sexual health, as well as your general health, work, creativity, self-esteem, family and social relations and other aspects of life.

Our therapists excel in a wide variety of fields. Our on-duty staff will help you to select the therapist most suited to your personal needs. Above all, we are real human beings, and we’re here to help you. Of course, your complete privacy and confidentiality is absolutely guaranteed. You can talk with us about things you can’t talk about with anyone else. You’ll soon find that this can open new doors for you. It can change your life for the better.

The Cost of Change is Minimal

The cost of telephone sex therapy with the Institute is $3.95/minute to talk to Dr. Block and $3.50/minute to talk with one of our other therapists. It’s only $43 for our 12-minute minimum.

The Cost of Not Getting Help Can Be Disastrous

Though it’s pretty inexpensive for a few quick questions, if you need to talk for a long while, telephone sex therapy isn’t a cheap date. But the cost of not getting help can be much higher: broken marriages, toxic relationships, sex addiction, sex crimes, low self-esteem and depression are just some of the negative results from an inability to explore and express your sexuality in a healthy manner. Instead of letting your past fears fester and bring you down, let us help you take a proactive approach to life.

Open the doors to love and erotic fulfillment. Explore and learn to express your sexuality in a healthy, positive way, dress for sex, seduce your lover into being your love slave, get your marriage on the right track, have your first real orgasm, express your inner slut, explore your taboo fantasies safely and creatively, get some perspective on your love affair, use the power of sex in your professional life, bring the lust back into your long-term relationship, learn to squirt, learn to love again…the possibilities are endless. And the discoveries are priceless.

You Can Talk To Us
The Dr. Susan Block Institute
213-291-9497

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Need to talk about a taboo subject?
Have a question about forbidden sex?
A politically incorrect fantasy you’d like to explore?
A socially unacceptable fetish you need to understand?
A taboo desire you want to release?
A disturbing sexual memory you need to process?
Need to talk to someone about something
you can’t talk with anyone else about?
You Can Talk To Us.
Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, and you can call us at 626.461.5949.

Below are just a few of the taboo subjects we can talk about in your telephone sex therapy session (some things we talk about are too taboo to even list!):

 Incest
Age Play
Spanking
Cuckoldry
Dominance & Submission
Golden Showers
Brown Showers
Gay Sex for Straight People
Humiliation
Sexual Harassment
Cheating
Rape Fantasy
Interracial Sex
Cannibalism
Family Sex
Forced Sex
Anal Sex
Penis Size
Sissification
Bondage
Mom
Blackmail
Fetish

 We talk about these taboo subjects both in terms of 1) reality and its inherent problems, and 2) fantasy and its myriad pleasures. For more information, call 626.461.5949.

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Spanking is an activity heavy with erotic significance. Whether you’d like to spank or be spanked, there’s something so voluptuously yummy about the idea that you or your partner has been very naughty and needs to be punished.

What’s the best part? That all too familiar sound of a hand against a quivering bare bottom? The stinging redness left behind? Maybe it’s the moment of anticipation, hand poised in the air ready to come down and deliver, when the world seems to stop and the spankee braces him or herself in preparation for the inevitable.

Would you like to be the disciplinarian, to have that parental power of punishment over someone else?
Perhaps you would like to be the one bent over and reminded of just how bad of a boy or girl you’ve been…

Crops, whips, canes, belts, paddles and hands…

Need to talk to someone about something you can’t talk about with anyone else?
You Can Talk To Us.

Click Here to Read Dr. Susan Block’s Essay
Spankology 101: The Psychology, Physiology, Art, History, Politics and Eroticism of Spanking

Click Here to Read Dr. Block’s Definition of “Spanking” in
The Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality

We are the Spanking Experts.

Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, and you can call us at 626.461.5949.

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The humiliation fetish is very common, yet often rather difficult to explore in a healthy, safe, sex-positive manner.

If not handled with care, skill and personal understanding, humiliation can be  dangerous, generating great anxiety, insecurity and resentment, and sometimes – in extreme circumstances – resulting in violence to oneself and others. This is one reason why it is so important to explore your humiliation desires with a safety-conscious, mental heath-aware, sex-positive expert who understands and can help you.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute boasts some of the world’s foremost experts in the art and science of Humiliation Phone Sex Therapy.  We specialize in the analysis and treatment, including roleplay therapy, of a variety of types of humiliation, including cuckold, small penis, loser, slut, slave, “forced” feminization or sissification, exhibitionist, creep, buffoon, blackmail games, cock control, public disgrace, money slavery and classic domination & submission (D&S), sadomaschism (S/M) as well as bondage & discipline (B&D) and other variations on this more and more popular, but usually misunderstood and mishandled fetish.

We understand that sometimes you need to feel a little bit bad in order to feel really good.  Our “Everybody is OK” society can pressure you so much to improve your self-esteem, that sometimes the only antidote is to be taken down a peg.

On the other hand, Dr. Susan Block is an expert in helping people to reduce dependence on humiliation as an erotic trigger, and she can help you too, if that is what you need and desire.

It’s not easy to balance a healthy sexuality with a fetish for being demeaned, denigrated, hurt, insulted, belittled, mocked, called names and/or turned into an object of public disgrace.

We will create a Personalized Humiliation Treatment Program just for you that involves therapy that gives you understanding of why you have this particular fetish, humiliation phone sex and/or fantasy roleplay sessions, self-esteem enhancement therapy, a personalized plan for your healthy sexual future and effective humiliation fetish coping mechanisms.

Please rest assured that Humiliation Phone Sex Therapy, as well as any kind of therapy with the Dr. Susan Block Institute, is absolutely private and confidential.

For more information about Telephone Sex Therapy of any kind with The Dr. Susan Block Institute, call 626.461.5949.

Need to talk about something you can’t talk about with anyone else?
You Can Talk To Us.
Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, and you can call us at 626.461.5949.

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“Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you.”
Susan Block, PhD

Masturbation is the most primary activity of our sexual lives. Yet it is shrouded in secrecy and shame. There are many reasons to masturbate, and not just in the merry Masturbation Month of May. Here are eight of them.

 Guided Masturbation Phone Sex Therapy with the Block Institute incorporates various techniques such as erotic hypnosis, deep relaxation, tantric breathing and fantasy roleplay to help you to achieve stronger orgasms, last longer, become a better lover, get to know your body, break through hangups and inhibitions, enter a special fantasy or fetish world, and/or experience a state of higher arousal and deeper relaxation than you’ve ever experienced before.

Go on a very personalized body-and-mind trip, an erotic adventure into self-love via Guided Masturbation with the Dr. Susan Block Institute.

We use Guided Masturbation to unlock many positive aspects of our sexuality, as well as to cope with and control negative aspects.

Let Your Fingers Do the Walking as We Do the Talking…

To talk to one of our many expert Masturbation Guides, Call The Dr. Susan Block Institute Anytime at 626.461.5949.

Click Here for More Info About the Merry Masturbation Month of May

“If God had intended us not to masturbate, S/he would have made our arms shorter.”
George Carlin

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What can be a fetish? Just about anything. But not just anything.

A sexual fetish is a profound erotic desire for something; it could be a boot, a breast or a burqa. One could also have a fetish for an activity, such as watching, being watched, spanking or being spanked. One can even have a fetish for a concept, like fame, or a feeling, like love. Whatever the sexual fetish object, the fetishist invests in it great sexual power.

What do you think of when you hear the word “fetish” ? What images come to your mind? Do you have a fetish? Do you know someone who does? Do you enjoy your fetish, or do you have problems with it, or maybe a little bit of both?

No matter how “out-there” your particular fetish may seem to be, chances are that it’s far more commonplace than you think. From high heels to hamburgers, from angora to airplanes, from money to mortuaries, all fetishes are welcome here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, at least in terms of talking about them. We can even help you to keep your fetish “under control” with our uniquely effective Fetish Coping Techniques

Read Dr. Block’s entry on Fetish in the Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality

Need to talk to someone about something you can’t talk about with anyone else?
You can talk to us.
Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, and you can call us at 626.461.5949.

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Let’s face it, fantasy is usually a whole lot more interesting than reality. Your fantasy is your own self-contained little universe, in which you make all the rules. Anything is possible; nothing is forbidden.  Trade in your humdrum life for a world that’s made to order, exciting and erotic beyond your wildest dreams, with Fantasy Roleplay Phone Sex Therapy.

Some Fantasy Examples
Doctor and Patient
Teacher and Student
Boss and Secretary
Goddess and Worshipper
Mistress and Slave
Priest and Nun
Incest Fantasy
Rape Fantasy
Ageplay Fantasy
Animal-play Fantasy
More Topics Here
No Topic is Too Taboo!

Need To Talk With Someone About Something
You Can’t Talk to Anyone Else About?
You Can Talk To Us.

Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous, highly-imaginative telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away. Tell us your fantasy, call 626.461.5949.

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Erotic Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy by Phone

Would you like to experience Erotic Hypnosis at its finest? Let world-renowned sexologist and erotic hypnotherapist Dr. Susan Block, or one of the Block Institute’s other therapists, take you on an exciting yet relaxing journey into the deepest parts of your sexual psyche, the Erotic Theater of the Mind. She (or he) will put you into a sensuous trance state that opens your heart to your truest, most personal desires.

Did you know that your most powerful erogenous zone is right between your ears, deep inside your mind? There’s a multiplex of movies playing in the Erotic Theater of your mind, and each one has a special sexy message just for you. With erotic hypnosis, you can access the hidden secrets of your sexuality to achieve your very highest levels of arousal, climax and relaxation, as well as erotic actualization.

Escape the stress, superficiality, hypocrisy and the tension of the everyday.  Make positive changes, deep transformations you might never make on your own, with the help of erotic hypnosis. Go under the spell of a powerful feminine (or masculine) voice, an aural adventure. The world-famous telephone sex therapists and erotic hypnotherapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are available 24 hours a day. For information, call 626.461.5949.

Fall into the intensely pleasurable, deeply rejuvenating trance state of erotic hypnosis. Discover your deepest sexual self through sensual hypnotherapy. Change for the better under the power of suggestion, with the help of special “trigger words” created just for you that will extend your hypnotherapeutic experience into the everyday.  Experience “Guided Fantasy.” No Fantasy is Too Taboo.

Do you long to surrender your will, at least temporarily, to the hypnotic erotic mind control of a beautiful powerful mistress or master? Be the total sex god, goddess, slut, slave or object of desire you’ve long dreamt of being. Experience the therapeutic effect of hypno conditioning. Reduce stress, gain confidence, lose inhibitions, explore fetishes, prolong erections, intensify orgasms, increase carnal desires, unleash the animal within you, release your sexual potential. Awaken that erotic part of you that is usually only awake when you are asleep, under the tremendous power of erotic hypnosis.

Now Playing on DrSuzy.Tv: HYPNOTIST Jacqui Holland on The Dr. Susan Block Show!

See Institute director and chief erotic hypnotherapist Dr. Susan Block, with Danièle Watts, Chef Be*Live on THE DOCTORS with Dr. Travis Stork, Dr. Nita Landry and Dr. Drew Ordon discussing erotic hypnosis & hypnotherapy right here

To Speak With Dr. Susan Block or one of our other erotic hypnotherapists, Call 626.461.5949.

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“Cuckold” is an old English term for a man whose wife has sex with other men. In the 21st century, there has been a resurgence of interest in the cuckold’s predicament, cuckold sex, cuckold fantasies, cuckold erotica, hot wives, big bulls, sperm wars and the cuckold lifestyle.

Are you a cuckold? Is your “hot wife” with a big “bull”? Or are you the hot wife or bull?

Do you have questions about cuckolding or being a cuckold? Do you have cuckold fantasies you want to explore? Are you being cuckolded in real life? Would you like to be?

Are you curious about why you are aroused by the idea of being cuckolded?

According to Block Institute director Dr. Susan Block, one of the world’s foremost experts on the subject of cuckolding who wrote the definition of cuckolding for the Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality, the desire to be cuckolded is very common, especially among men, even though it might be frowned upon by most human societies.

Have you heard of the “sperm wars” phenomenon that so often stimulates the desire for cuckolding in men of all kinds and sexual orientations?

How do you feel about derogatory political references to “cucks” and “cuckservatives” and other twisted social misconceptions of what cuckolding is all about? Does it bother you… even though it turns you on?

Wondering how to talk to your spouse about your cuckolding desires, or how to take it from the realm of fantasy into reality… with all its real-life wonders and complications?

Do you have cuckold concerns, desires or issues you need to talk about privately with someone who understands?

We Are The Cuckold Specialists. We work with Submissive Cuckolds, Dominant Cuckolds, Sissy Cuckolds, Fantasy Cuckolds, Sapiosexual Cuckolds, Interracial Cuckolds, Small-Cock Cuckolds, Bi-Curious Cuckolds, Swinger Cuckolds, Spanked Cuckolds, Cuckolds-in-Bondage, Cuckolds-in-Chastity, Director Cuckolds, Cuckold Voyeurs, Cuckold Exhibitionists, Cheated-On Cuckolds, Reluctant Cuckolds, Humiliated Cuckolds, Happy Cuckolds and many more varieties.

For Cuckold Phone Sex Therapy, Call The Dr. Susan Block Institute now or anytime at 626.461.5949.

And yes, of course, you can masturbate, if you want, during sessions. And no, there is no other cuckold phone sex or cuckold sex therapy service quite like ours. For more information about telephone sex therapy with the Dr. Susan Block Institute, call 626.461.5949.  To speak with someone right away, call 626-461-5950.

World-renowned sexologist Dr. Susan Block and her associate therapists, sex surrogates, fantasy roleplayers, hotwives and big bulls are experts in the art and science of cuckoldry.

Topics often explored in Cuckold Phone Sex Therapy sessions include cuckold training, cuckold fetish coping mechanisms, female domination, female submission, male bisexuality, threesomes, swinging, safe sex, oral sex, , humiliation, cock fetish, male and female orgasm, “cream pies,” forced feminization, interracial sex, guided masturbation, sex toys, bondage and discipline, insecurity, jealousy, arousal and other powerful, often conflicting emotions that so many cuckolds feel.

Dr. Block is one of the world’s foremost experts on cuckolding.  She even wrote the definition of cuckolding for the Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality.  Read Dr. Block’s definition of cuckolding here.

Dr. Block’s expertise is also quoted in Anneli Rufus’ popular Daily Beast article on Cuckolding: The Sex Fetish for Intellectuals.

Learn about what good cuckolds should never do: Read about Paul Manafort’s cuckolding fetish.

For a comical take on cuckolding, see “The Cuckoldress” on DrSuzy.Tv.

For an evolutionary biological perspective on cuckolding, read Dr. Block’s highly recommended article SPERM WARS or watch her video

And whenever you need to talk about cuckolding or any other aspect of sex privately, give us a call. We’re here for you: 626.461.5949.

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