The Dr. Susan Block Show is Back with Tempest Storm LIVE + Anti-Slut-Shaming Miley Cyrus Defense!
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The Dr. Susan Block Show returns to the airwaves this Saturday, October 5th with international sexologist Dr. Susan Block’s first official live broadcast from her brand new studio in Bonoboville at LAX, featuring an exclusive live interview with living legendary burlesque queen and erotic entertainment sensation Tempest Storm.
Famous for her outsized personality and all-natural 44DD-25-35 measurements in the pre-silicone 1950s, Tempest Storm has had the longest career of any burlesque star, spanning over 60 years (so far).
The ultra-buxom redhead starred in Teaserama with Bettie Page (whom Dr. Block interviewed in 1996) and Russ Meyer’s Striptease Girl. She was Elvis’ girlfriend, JFK’s mistress and pals with Marilyn Monroe.
Tempest was and is loved by millions, but her shameless sexuality was as red a flag as her hair to the hypocrites. She suffered rape and abuse in her youth and, at the height of her career, she was blackballed by Hollywood when she married African-American entertainer Herb Jeffries. Through it all, she kept on stripteasing and enjoying her adventurous, trailblazing life, and now she’s ready to tell her story.
This Saturday night’s live appearance on The Dr. Susan Block Show is part of “kickstarting” her exciting new feature documentary, directed by Nimisha Mukerji and producer Kaitlyn Regehr, Tempest Storm: Burlesque Queen.
On this Saturday’s special broadcast, Dr. Block will also say a few words in defense of Miley Cyrus and in opposition to the tsunami of exploitative international slut-shaming that has raged against this new twerkalicious erotic entertainment sensation.
The “Tempest Storm Interview & Miley Cyrus Defense” will air live October 5th, 2013, 10:30pm-Midnight PST on The Dr. Susan Block Show. Listen FREE on your computer here or your phone at http://m.drsuzy.tv. Call-In: 1.866.289.7068 or 310.568.0066.
Watch the Live Show at DrSusanBlock.Tv (Now just $7.95/month!).
The Dr. Susan Block Show is produced by The Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, an international center for sexual expression, therapy and education, based in LA. Founded in 1991 by Susan M. Block, PhD, world-renowned Yale-educated sexologist, best-selling author and host of HBO specials, the Institute’s mission is to help individuals, couples and communities enhance their sexuality and improve their lives based upon Dr. Block’s philosophy of Ethical Hedonism and The Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure. A portion of all proceeds goes to help save the highly endangered “make love not war” bonobos from extinction in the Congo and to promote the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure around the world.Read More
Premature Ejaculation Combat Tips Techniques
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Premature Ejaculation is most often described as the inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. It is an extremely common condition for men around the world. So if you suffer from the humiliation and frustration of premature ejaculation (or if your partner does), rest assured that you are not alone. Virtually all males experience premature ejaculation at some time in their lives, usually when they are young. But for many, “coming too fast” remains an ongoing problem, even into old age. Sometimes, ironically, it accompanies impotence and other forms of erectile dysfunction.
Your first premature ejaculation experience can be laughed off as “no big deal,” or it can be so traumatic that you find yourself dropping your bombs before you reach your target again and again. Luckily, there are several fairly simple “cures” for what I call Sexual Quick Draw McGraw Syndrome. With a little understanding, technique, help and practice, you can safely and naturally banish the heartbreaking embarrassment of premature ejaculation forever from your sexual life.
Let’s start with understanding. The Boston Medical Group estimates the premature ejaculation prevalence rate in American males as from 30-70%. Why are these figures so high? Why is premature ejaculation so common? Why is it that most men will prematurely ejaculate at some points in their sex lives, and why do so many do it almost constantly?
Here’s the bottom line in terms of evolutionary biology: Premature ejaculation is natural. It may even be more natural for a man, especially a young man, to come “too” quickly than to control his orgasm long enough to make sex satisfying for himself and his partner. Nature favors premature ejaculators, guys that pop their loads into the next generation before the gal can get away. Those males who come as fast as possible, that is, before the female changes her mind or predators - ancient saber-toothed cats or modern-day parents - arrive to ruin the mood, have tended to reproduce more than guys who take their time. After all, a woman doesn’t need to have an orgasm to get pregnant, nor does the man have to feel like a stud. He just needs to ejaculate inside of her at the right time of month, his potent sperm penetrating her fertile egg. So despite how mortified he might be or how frustrated she might feel, as far as natural reproduction is concerned, the sooner he comes inside her, the better.
But just because premature ejaculation is natural doesn’t mean it’s desirable.
After all, sex isn’t just about procreation; it’s about recreation. It’s also a form of communication. What do you communicate to your partner when you produce the juice before you put it in her caboose? The first time, you could be communicating, “You’re so hot I just couldn’t control myself!” In that sense, one or two episodes of premature ejaculation can be a bittersweet “compliment” to Mr. Quick Draw’s partner who could be considered a “Premature Ejaculation Inducer.” But if you come too fast time and again, you start communicating anxiety, insensitivity and other not-so sexy messages.
More stats from Boston Medical: The average man can usually control ejaculation for 6-10 minutes after penetration. However, the average woman needs approximately 15-20 minutes of sexual activity before she can experience orgasm. By these standards, the entire male race needs to learn how to better prolong erection and sexual stamina.
In a sexually civilized society, gentlemen would be educated in the art and science of ejaculation control. How else are you guys going to learn? After all, someone had to toilet train you, right? But nobody ejaculation-trained you. Unless you’re one of the lucky ones…
Over the years, I have “ejaculation-trained” thousands of men from all over the world. And no, I haven’t had the pleasure of having sex with them all. Most ejaculation training takes place over the phone during the process I call telephone sex therapy. Through deep relaxation, guided masturbation, anatomical education, PC muscle exercise training, erotic hypnosis, fantasy roleplay and other techniques, I help men of all ages last longer, please their partners and wind up with a much bigger orgasmic ejaculation than they ever experienced as Sexual Quick Draw McGraws.
1. Grow Up: Premature Ejaculation is most common among young men. If you are under twenty-five, and you’re quick on the trigger, the good news is that you’ll probably slow down as you get older. The “bad” news is that if you want to be a great lover while you’re young and virile, you need to learn a thing or two about discipline. Keep in mind that experience is the greatest teacher. Practice, practice, practice! Older men with premature ejaculation problems tend to lack much sexual experience.
2. Come Again: If you’re young, you may ejaculate sooner than you’d like, but you might also be able to get hard again soon after you’ve come. If so, then don’t worry so much about “premature ejaculate.” Just come naturally, then engage in other forms of lovemaking while you build up towards another erection. This second time around, you are likely to last longer simply because you have less fluid in your seminal vesicles and less urgency to release it. You can “trick” your system by masturbating a few hours before your sexual encounter, so that your urge to come is not so urgent. You can also take Viagra to insure that even after you ejaculate, you’ll have a hard-on. However, I don’t recommend taking Viagra if you don’t have serious erectile dysfunction, because you can easily develop a psychological dependency on it.
3. Breath Deep: Now we’re getting into serious control techniques. When you’re nervous or excited, the natural tendency is to hold your breath. Holding your breath creates tension that demands release, which is one reason for premature ejaculation. Learn to slow yourself down by inhaling deeply and exhaling even more slowly, as practiced by Tantric sex practitioners. Tantra is not for everybody, but its slow deep breathing techniques are excellent for reducing the chance of premature ejaculation.
4. PC Exercise: Ejaculating before you want to--whether it’s after ten minutes or ten seconds—is a sexual *weakness.* If you want to become sexually strong, you need to strengthen the right muscles. For instance, if the muscles in your thighs are weak and you want to run longer, you work out your thigh muscles. So what muscle should a gentleman exercise to strengthen his ability to maintain an erection in different sexual positions without ejaculating? Contrary to popular belief, the penis itself is NOT a muscle--nor does it have a bone, even though they call erections “boners.” Answer: Your PC muscle. No, it’s not your politically correct muscle nor is it personal computer muscle; it’s your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group that runs from the pubic bone in front to the tailbone in back and supports the pelvic floor. This is the muscle that spasms during orgasm in the male and the female. PC muscle exercise is good for both men and women. To find your PC muscle, pretend that you’re urinating and want to stop the flow of urine by squeezing an internal muscle. Feel it? That’s your PC muscle. Flex or squeeze it for a couple of seconds, then release. And squeeze and release, squeeze and release, breathing in on the squeeze and out on the release. Do the PC muscle exercise ten times in the morning and ten times in the evening, gradually holding squeeze longer each time, and you will eventually gain strength and control. By the way, you can do this exercise anytime, anywhere--sitting, standing, walking around, or lying down. Women should do PC muscle exercises regularly too. A strong PC muscle enhances female orgasm tremendously, along with improving male ejaculation control.
5. Stop/Start Technique: Just like the name says, this method involves arousing the penis to the point before the point of no return and then stopping, pulling out if necessary, and letting your erection go down before resuming the stroking, sucking or thrusting. That is, if your flaccid state is at “0”, and ejaculation is at “10,” then the point of no return would be “9.” So you would need to reduce stimulation or “stop” at level “8” or, if you’re very trigger-happy, at level “7.” The stop/start exercise trains your big head and little head to recognize the points or stages of pleasure before the point of no return. Then, it trains you to stop--maybe for half a second, maybe for about a minute--so you don’t come. It’s a simple exercise that sex therapists and surrogates have been teaching for years, and it really works after about a month or two of practice, if you practice. In fact, you can get so good at this that you can experience multiple orgasms without ejaculation before your final ejaculatory climax.
6. Squeeze Technique: This is the same as the stop/start technique, but just as you stop, you or your lover squeeze the rim of your penis, between the head and the shaft, holding the thumb on top and the first and second fingers underneath. That’s the most popular spot for the squeeze technique. But there’s another spot right in the middle of the base of the penis, above the scrotum, where it meets the pubic bone. Max and other guys swear this is a sure-fire come-stopper.
7. Tease Technique: Erotic Teasing is one of the sexier ways to hold off premature ejaculation. Encourage your partner to tease you, with lots of foreplay, before you penetrate her mouth or vagina. Teasing is also excellent for women, though usually for the opposite reasons. Men need to be teased because it makes them slow down. Women need to be teased because it makes them come around.
8. Drink Up: A little alcohol can help some gentlemen with premature ejaculation last longer. This is not an excuse to get plastered, which tends to give you the opposite problem: erectile dysfunction, a.k.a. drunk dick syndrome. As Porter tells MacDuff in Shakespeare’s MacBeth, alcohol “provokes the desire, but takes away the performance.”
9. Relax: Remember, pressure is the enemy of pleasure. Every guy comes too fast sometimes due to stress, novelty, performance anxiety, or good old-fashioned excitement. If you just do it occasionally, try not to make a big deal about it. You’re likely to make it worse. Just gently and playfully start going through some of the above activities. They’re great sexual muscle-building exercises, even if you don’t have “penis problems.” And don’t let the fact that you came a little earlier than expected stop you from helping your partner to come.
10. Back-Up Your Hard-Drive: Always keep a back-up system for your computer, and always have some sex toys – dildos, vibrators and other goodies – to use on your partner when your personal hard-on is down. Or just go down on her. Most women are more likely to climax from a talented tongue than from a hard penis anyway. Coming “too fast” is relative. Remember that you can always keep going even after you’ve come, with your mouth, hands or toys. Or just make sure that you give your partner an orgasm or two before you get into any of her orifices or, if you’re lightning fast, before you let her touch your penis at all.
11. Examine Yourself: If you’re over thirty, chronically trigger happy and have “no luck” with any of the above exercises, tips and techniques, then you might have a psychological problem. This is not cause to check yourself into the nearest psych ward or start guzzling Prozac (which can wreak havoc on your sense of desire). But you may need to work out some internal conflicts in order to relax and relate, as well as control yourself sexuality. This “tip” calls for examining yourself and your feelings, especially your penis’ feelings. What is your quick-to-come, quick-to-go prick trying to tell you? Could it be that you subconsciously want to get sex over with? Why? What are you afraid of? Answering these questions honestly can lead you into some pretty tough psychological terrain, involving your ambivalent feelings about women and sex, your fears of abandonment (so you come “before” you can be abandoned), your performance anxieties, your guilt about sex, your conflicts over pleasure. If it’s too tough for you to handle alone—and it’s generally not the type of thing you can talk about with friends, family or even your partner—you might want to consult a sex therapist.
12. Enjoy Yourself: Many guys think of sex as a purely penis-driven activity. Give yourself permission to savor the little pleasures of life, love and sex, the touch of your partner’s skin, the smell of her hair. Instead of focusing all your desire in the hyper-sensitive head of your penis, try opening up to pleasure you can experience through your fingers, toes, nipples, buns, lips and tongue. Don’t worry, you’ll come back to your precious penis, but not before you’ve aroused your whole being: body, mind and soul. It takes a little patience, but if you practice, by the time you allow the forces of pleasure to flow freely through your mighty shaft, you’ll find yourself enjoying the biggest, most explosive orgasm ever.
The Dr. Susan Block Institute The Orgasm Specialists Free 24-Hour Sex Therapy Info Line: [callus]Read More
Dr. Susan Block’s 5th Erotic Purim Bacchanal This Saturday!
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“This is not your Bubbe’s Purim,” warns Dr. Block
This Saturday, February 23rd, The Dr. Susan Block Institute will hold its fifth biannual Purim Bacchanal, PURIM BACCHANAL Rising, featuring the world renowned Commedia Erotica Players performing an improvisational erotic Purimspiel of the Biblical Story of Esther, the ancient Persian Jewish beauty contest winner who saves her people from genocide with her Weapons of Mass Seduction. "In a time when power was almost always gained through brute force and merciless violence–a time much like our own–this was, and still is, a human miracle," says Dr. Block. It is also a sex-positive, feminist, domestic drama of the royal court, which begins with the feast of a king and the disobedience of a queen, and climaxes with the obedience of a king and the feast of a queen.
Porn stars, poets, models and comics will improvise the Biblical roles as Dr. Susan Block, a former Sunday school teacher turned sexologist, narrates her acclaimed comic-erotic version of the Megillat Esther in the Womb Room, to be transformed by DrSuzy.tv producer Tasia Sutor into the mythical magical village of Shushan, the king’s court, the harem, and the “gallows” (non-lethally represented by a St. Andrew’s bondage cross), before a live studio audience, at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy (aka Bonoboville) in the Soul of Downtown LA.
Guest stars will include adult film performers Tee Reel, Lya Pink, Brianna Brooks and Heidi Hollywood of Ideal Image Management, renowned Hollywood socialite Amor Hilton, fetish performer Kevin Bean and TS entertainer Victoria Veil. All will take part in the erotic Purimschpiel (specific roles to be announced).
Purim traditions of donning masks, cranking groggers, munching hamentaschen (shaped like a vulva as well as the villain Haman's hat) and drinking “until one cannot tell the difference between the hero and the villain" (Babylonian Talmud, Megillah 7b) will be observed. Of course, thanks to Wikileaks, we don’t need to get drunk to confuse heroes with villains. But sacred wine and other “spirits” are an integral component of this “Jewish Mardi Gras”—every important scene in the Story of Esther includes drinking, beginning with a 180-day Dionysian-style festival of Biblical proportions (and we think we overdo it when we just party all weekend). Besides enough alcohol to float Noah’s arc, the Megillat Esther features masquerade, exhibitionism, erotic teasing, sexual harassment, debauchery, feasting, dominance and submission, wild parties, political intrigue, gambling, the mysteries of the harem and the power of one wily woman’s Weapons of Mass Seduction to stop an impending genocide.
This Saturday’s PURIM BACCHANAL Rising is part of Eve Ensler’s international campaign against rape and violence, One Billion Rising: Strike, Dance, Rise Up.
Dr. Suzy’s PURIM BACCHANAL Rising will air live February 23rd, 2013, 10:30pm-Midnight PST on The Dr. Susan Block Show. Listen FREE at http://tinyurl.com/RadioSex. Call-In Free: 1.866.289.7068.Watch the LIVE BROADCAST & See All the Pix and Past Shows at http://drsusanblock.com/TV.html. To join our exclusive live in-studio audience and the after-party at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy in the Soul of Downtown LA, aka BonoboVille, call or go to http://tinyurl.com/DrSuzyRSVP. Come one, come all or just cum. And bring a designated driver! Don’t know Purim from purée? Don’t dismay. Read Dr. Block’s Purim Bloggamy: http://bloggamy.com/purim/. See free pix from last year's Purim Bacchanal: http://drsusanblock.com/PURIM.html See Dr. Block’s Porn ‘n’ Purim Bacchanal: http://drsusanblock.com/Purim/ Coming Up Soon on DrSuzy.tv... 03/02/13 - Body Electric with Kiwi 03/16/13 - Squirting St. Patty's Eve with Deauxma 03/23/13 - Sexy Sexologist Yasi Madanikia 04/20/13 - Prostate Pleasure & Health Author Dr. Charlie Glickman Sex toys provided by JuxLeather, Sybian, Divine Interventions, CalExotics, ScreamingO, Stockroom and Condomania condoms. The Dr. Susan Block Show beverages of choice are Hennesey, Absinthe and Agwa di Bolivia Coca Leaf Liqueur, among the many fine libations and gourmet hors d’oeuvres featured at the always-popular Speakeasy Open Bar and Aphrodisiac Buffet. Proceeds from donations go to help save the highly endangered “make love not war” bonobos from extinction in Congo and to promote the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure around the world. The Dr. Susan Block Show is produced by The Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, an international center for sexual expression, therapy and education, based in LA. Founded in 1991 by Susan M. Block, PhD, world-renowned Yale-educated sexologist, best-selling author and host of HBO specials, the Institute’s mission is to help individuals, couples and communities enhance their sexuality and improve their lives based upon Dr. Block’s philosophy of Ethical Hedonism and the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure. Read More
What can we talk about
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You can talk with the telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute about anything you want to talk about. No topic is too "taboo." Look over the lists of topics below under "Sexual Issues" and "Erotic Pleasures," if you need some ideas. As you can see, there is quite a bit of overlap among all the subjects we deal with. And we deal with more subjects than we could possibly list.
You may want to talk about several subjects in one session. You may want to discuss some serious sexual issues in your life as well as enjoy a hot phone sex fantasy. That’s fine. There are no limits on what you discuss or how you and your therapist talk in your private telephone session. Not all of our therapists can handle every kind of subject, of course, but we have a large team working with the Institute, and we can always find a therapist suited to your specific needs and desires.
And yes, you can masturbate, if you want, during telephone sex therapy sessions. And no, there is no other phone sex or phone therapy service quite like ours.
Sexual Issues Understanding Your Sexual Nature and How to Live with It Exploring Your Erotic Fantasies How to Find the Lover of Your Dreams Understanding Your Partner’s Fantasies Dealing with Your Fears and Desires How to Express Your Erotic Nature How to Explore Your Sexual Fetish Erotically and Safely How to Share Your Fantasies with Your Partner How to Liberate Your Inner Bonobo Childhood Influences on Your Sexuality Relationships and Sex Families and Sex Work and Sex Politics and Sex Money and Sex Religion and Sex Art and Sex Cuckoldry Trust Issues Sexual Wellness Religious Sexual Abuse How to Channel Erotic Inspiration How to Get What You Want In Sex, Love, Life and Death Orgasmic Fulfillment Orgasm Difficulties Masturbation Issues Masturbation Technique Mutual Masturbation Safe Sex in Dan gerous Situations Ejaculation Control Erectile Dif ficulties “Sex Addiction” Body Image Issues Shyness Exploring the Clitoris Low Sexual Desire Dealing with Your Partner’s Low Sexual Desire Penis Size Concerns Enhancement of Arousal Virginity Issues Exploring Pain/Pleasure Dynamics How to Find the Erotic Elements in Everyday Life Understanding sexual Illness and Injury Sex and Physical Handicaps Trying “The Lifestyle” (Learning to Swing) How to Increase the Passion in Your Marriage Understanding Eros and Thanatos How to Develop Your Sexual Communication Skills How to Give Great Oral Sex What You Should Know About Dominatrixes What You Should Know About Prostitutes How to Seduce the Lover of Your Dreams How to Lose Your Virginity Premature Ejaculation Different Sexual Positions for Different Pleasures Sexual Anatomy Lesson How to Deal with Extra-Marital Affairs Your Own or Your Partner’s How to Explore Your Feminine Side How to Explore Your Masculine Side Using Your Sexuality to Enhance Your Creativity Why Women Should Explore Phone Sex How to Explore Your Submissive Side How to Explore Your Dominant Side How to Find a Woman’s G–Spot How to Find a Man’s P–Spot How to Female Ejaculate How to Help Your Partner Experience Female Ejaculation Tantric Sex Techniques Pornography Issues How to Meet Mr. or Ms. Right How to Deal with Your Sexual Feelings toward Your Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Children, Next-Door-Neighbor, Co-Worker, Boss, Employee, Student, Teacher, Sister-in-Law, Brother-in-Law, Cousin, Aunt, Uncle or Other Inappropriate Object of Your Desire How to Recover from Incest Trauma How to Recover from Rape, Molestation and Other Negative Sexual Experiences How to Use Sex Toys How to Explore the Loss of Control Sex and the Stock Market Holiday Blues/Holiday Sex How to Break Away from a Toxic Lover How to Forget a Lost Love Advertising for Love in the Classifieds and on the Internet Gender Issues Sex and Age Bisexuality Sex and Drugs Sex and Anti-Depressants Sex and Aphrodisiacs Dressing for Sex Undressing for Sex Sexercise for Sexual Health Circumcision Issues How to Conquer Your Sexual Phobias Finding the Pleasure in Your Life How to Share Sex Toys with Your Partner Sexual Meditation Erotic Relaxation Techniques How to be an Ethical Hedonist How to Practice the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure
Erotic Pleasures Pure and Uncensored PHONE SEX Straight Phone Sex Lesbian Phone Sex Gay Phone Sex Bisexual Phone Sex Transsexual Phone Sex Threesome Phone Sex Cuckold Phone Sex Orgasmic Phone Sex Bukkake Phone Sex Kinky Phone Sex Intelligent Phone Sex Sensuous Phone Sex Romantic Phone Sex Personalized Phone Sex Strip Tease Hot Girls Masturbation Fantasy Roleplay Hot Chat Fellatio Cunnilingus Fingering Hot Sexual Intercourse Doggy Style Woman on Top Missionary Position Analingus (rimming) Anal Sex Goddess Worship Sadomasochism Bondage & Discipline Phone Bondage Swinging Dressing Up Abduction Fantasy Medical Fantasy Smoking Intruder Fantasy Leather Latex Lady Boys Rubber Fur Foot Fetish Water Sports Female Ejaculation Frottage Erotic Teasing Nipple Play Crossdressing Spanking Catfight Fantasy Domination Surrender Hot Dirty Nasty Talk Romance Lingerie Play High Heels Boots Stockings Pantyhose She-Male Fantasy Panties Jealousy Fantasies Underwater Sex Vibrator Play Dildo Play Butt Plug Play Group Sex Fantasy Slave Training Cuckold Fantasy Presidential Sex Genital Torture Exhibitionism and Voyeurism Cannibal Fantasy Satanic Fantasy Infantile Fantasy Shoe Worship Interracial Sex Playing Doctor Beach Party Consensual Gangbang Celebrity Fantasy Girl Next Door Boy Next Door Horny Housewife Next Door Mother Fantasy Father Fantasy Childhood Fantasy Teenage Fantasy Rape Fantasy Hermaphrodite Fantasy Orgy Corsetry Muscle Woman Pregnant Fantasy Menage a Trois Flagellation Cum Fetish AutoFellatio Fantasy Felching Fantasy Food and Sex Shaved Genitals Shaved Bodies Animal Sex Fantasies Golden Showers Brown Showers Erotic Enemas Fisting Wet on Wet Queening Gag Fantasy Piercing Wrestling Fantasies Tantric Sex Play Weight Training Sensory Deprivation Sensory Enhancement Tickling Science Fiction Fantasies Vampire Fantasies Incest Fantasies Bondage Fantasies Nurse Fantasies Tattoos Small Breasts Big Breasts Big Nipples Big Buns Beautiful Buns Tiny Tummy Big Tummy Pregnant Tummy Long Legs Shaved Vulva Hairy Vulva Big Penis Small Penis Big Balls Slut Training Shaved Penis and Balls Threesomes Block Party Multiple Orgasm Love Fantasy much, much more!
Secret Sexual Fantasies
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by Dr. Susan Block
What's your favorite secret sexual fantasy, the one you never talk about that always turns you on? Your fantasies are always with you, playing hide-and-seek with your perceived realities, whispering wild ideas into your inner ear, showing movies in your mind, stirring your passions mysteriously, yet so powerfully. If you are imprisoned in any way--by your work, your family, your education, your religion, your government--your fantasies become your freedom. Sometimes your ability to fantasize is the only freedom you have.
Erotic Fantasy is the G-Spot of Your Mind
Where does fantasy end and reality begin? The English philosopher John Richter said, "Fantasy rules over two-thirds of the universe, the past and the future, while reality is confined to the present."
Fantasy--the original “theater of the mind”--makes up a huge portion of human consciousness. Memory, as it filters through the mind's eye, is a kind of fantasy that gazes backward, into the past. Hope, anticipation, fear and ambition are fantasies that look toward the future. Our sexuality is fueled by fantasies of the past and the future, as well as “pure” fantasies--wild dreams that never happened and that you never really want to have happen--that haunt and stimulate you like a kinky parallel universe.
A sexual fantasy can be a long, complicated story, a quick mental flash of erotic imagery or something in between. Whatever form it takes, it arouses your sexual feelings. As such, your favorite fantasy is the G-spot of your mind.
Experts agree that sexual fantasies are important, powerful and pervasive. But they can’t agree on much more about them. For every study that concludes that women or men fantasize one way, there’s another that concludes the opposite. If you look hard enough, you can find a study to prove any theory about sexual fantasies and another one to disprove it. Maybe this is because it is very difficult to measure fantasies except through questionnaires, and it is so easy and tempting to lie on questionnaires, especially when it comes to opening up about our deepest, darkest, most embarrassing, secret, sexual fantasies. Therefore, I will not use many studies to justify my points here. As a sex therapist with one of the largest private practices in the world and a sex-oriented radio and TV talk show host for over two decades, as well as an erotically-married woman for almost 18 years, I base my observations on my own professional and personal experience, which I believe is as good a “study” on fantasy as any.
Before we discuss where your secret fantasies come from and whether or not to share them with anyone, let’s take a look at some of the most common ones...
The Perfect Lover
The most popular sexual fantasies among men and women involve images of sex with a passionate, attractive, exciting partner who will do whatever you want, even if that means dominating you. Your Perfect Lover could be someone you know; it could even be your real-life partner. It could be someone you saw in class or at work but never talk to, a celebrity with whom you feel a connection, or a complete stranger you happened to face for two intense minutes in a crowded elevator. It could be someone that would be your ideal mate, if only you could be together. Or it could be someone very taboo: a relative, your best friend’s spouse, a MILF, a “bad” boy or girl, someone of whom you know your family would disapprove. Perfect Lovers run the gamut, but the universal characteristic is that you find this person irresistible and extremely satisfying, at least in fantasy.
Even very traditional ladies who prefer romance to porn enjoy the fantasy of the Perfect Lover. While such a scenario might involve nothing more than kissing, Perfect Lover fantasies can entail sexual intercourse in every position. Oral sex (giving or receiving) is a big favorite, followed by manual sex, anal sex (giving or receiving) and mutual masturbation. In addition to these basic physical sex acts, there are many other types of sex about which you might fantasize, especially if you feel deprived of a particular favorite activity. Your Perfect Lover will never deprive you…unless you have a deprivation fetish.
One popular variation on the Perfect Lover is what I call “Some Enchanted Evening”: sex with a sexy stranger. It’s not that I’m recommending sex with a real-life stranger, at least not without sheathing your body in a suit of latex armor, the shining armor of the knight of the 21st century, but the fantasy of sex with an exciting, attractive stranger is a delightful aphrodisiac that many women and men enjoy. One of the reasons these kinds of lovers are “perfect” is that you don’t know them at all.
It’s even more common to fantasize about your real-life lover, who may not be perfect, but must be pretty hot and is certainly familiar and easy enough to conjure up in the erotic theater of your mind. But because it’s a secret sexual fantasy, you might imagine something different than the usual. Maybe you fantasize that your real-life lover is aggressive even though he or she is usually passive, or that the two of you are being watched, or perhaps you imagine yourself watching your lover have sex with someone else. This brings us to the next most popular type of fantasy…
Two Perfect Lovers—Or More!
Double your pleasure, double your fun; sex with two lovers is more fun than one! The threesome is another very common sexual fantasy. It’s often associated with the male erotic imagination, and it’s certainly one of the most widespread male fantasies, invoking images of double-wived patriarchs and the pleasures of the harem. But women are catching up as it becomes more acceptable for us to admit we’d like to be with two hot men at once, or perhaps a man and another woman.
The male standard is sex with two women, of course--often a girlfriend and another lady. This sort of ménage à trois fantasy is flattering to your erotic ego and gives you a sex-educational glimpse into the secrets of lesbian sex. Of course, these are not man-hating lesbians; in fact, they love your penis!
More and more men now also confess that they fantasize about having a threesome with a woman and another man. The level of imagined physical intimacy can run the gamut from barely touching the man while you both focus on the woman all the way to the two men having intense sex while the woman simply watches or “directs.” You might also imagine watching the other man have his sexual way with your woman, with you as the “cuckold,” creating what I call the “sperm wars” effect, a competitive rise in your sperm count that arouses you even if you feel jealous and insecure.
Threesome fantasies can be so vivid, especially if one of the partners is your real-life lover, that many people try breathing life into them. The resulting reality spans from having a beautiful experience which enhances your relationship, as well as your sense of your sexual self, to an awful, awkward incident that hurts everyone involved. One thing is certain: Everything in any fantasy is “perfect” as far as your libido is concerned. Reality, however, is not quite so in tune with what turns you on, let alone what turns on your real-life partner or the third party.
A threesome can become an orgy, which is another common sexual fantasy. One way to keep sexual monogamy from becoming monotony is to maintain an active fantasy life with as many different partners as you can imagine. I happen to have a personal soft spot for real-life orgies, holding them regularly at my Institute, giving me and everyone here not just the chance to live out a common fantasy, but the opportunity to experience real-life communal ecstasy. But that’s the subject of another bloggamy and another Master’s Tea. Back to fantasy…
Sometimes when you imagine a threesome with someone of the same sex, it’s a prelude to fantasizing about a more intimate, same-sex twosome. Or maybe the third opposite sex lover is just there for show, to “guide” or even “force” the two same-gender lovers to play with each other. Or maybe your erotic theater of the mind will just combine the male and female into one and imagine sex with a pre-op transsexual or shemale.
This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re truly gay, though it could. It more often means you’re truly bisexual, which I believe most of us are, and that your fantasy life is making up for what you repress in your real life. Just because you fantasize about having sex with someone of your gender doesn’t mean you ought to do it. Same sex fantasies can signify a lot of different things for people who lead mostly straight real lives--from seeking personal validation to breaking societal taboos.
It’s funny; it used to be much more taboo for women to admit to any kind of fantasies, except the kind revolving around love and “bodice-rippers,” a.k.a. romance novels. But now that more women are creating porn and erotica, making it more romantic--that is, story and character-driven--younger women are unabashedly eating it up. Modern ladies also seem to have an easier time accepting their bi-curious fantasies than most men do. There are various sociopolitical, cultural, psychological and physical reasons for this. Women know that most men are turned on by two women together, whereas it’s still a rare, very open-minded woman who enjoys two men together. Our society is more homophobic than lesbian-phobic. Then there are the real-life, physical risks which tend to be greater between men, since penetration is more often involved, than between women.
When fantasizing about sex with another female, most women imagine the other woman’s whole body: her breasts, buns, hair, lips (both pairs), clitoris, soft skin, seductive eyes, etc. When men fantasize about other men, they tend to focus on one part: the penis. Usually, they envision a big one. So Freud was wrong about “penis envy.” Women don’t have it; men do. At least, a lot of men do. Certainly, Freud himself did.
Even, perhaps especially, the outwardly homophobic male has gay fantasies. Why do you think a guy like that is so scared of gays “converting” straight men? Because in his fantasies, that’s exactly what happens: a hugely endowed male dominates him, forcing him to have sex—usually giving oral or taking anal--and he likes it, at least in fantasy (again, this doesn’t necessarily mean he’s truly gay). Masters & Johnson reported that heterosexuals often fantasize about homosexual encounters and vice versa, more often reflecting curiosity and other impulses than the desire to change the gender of one's real-life lovers. Norman Mailer went so far as to say that “There is probably no sensitive heterosexual alive who is not preoccupied with his latent homosexuality.” I would add “at some point in his life,” since such desires come and go.
Our society tends to make things black or white, good or bad, male or female, heterosexual or homosexual. But the human sexual imagination is most definitely bisexual, even what you might call omnisexual. When Edna St. Vincent Millay went to a doctor for her headaches, he suggested they might stem from “an occasional erotic impulse toward a person of [her] own sex.”
“Oh, you mean I’m homosexual?” Millay responded, “Of course, I am, and heterosexual too, but what’s that got to do with my headache?” Maybe that’s what the Pulitzer-prize-winning poet and Vassar girl meant when she wrote “my candle burns at both ends.”
Men are not from Mars, women are not from Venus. We’re all from the same beautiful, wild, sexual planet Earth, and we’re far more alike than we are different. Dr. Alfred Kinsey was among the first to show that we’re all on a bisexual continuum with absolute heterosexuals on one end and absolute homosexuals on the other end. Very few of us fall at one extreme or the other. That doesn’t mean we like both sexes equally at all times. It just means most of us can potentially, under the right circumstances (boarding school, prison, a desert island, etc.), with the right person (the Perfect Lover), be aroused by either gender. Certainly, we can, and often do, enjoy being “bi” in fantasy.
Surrender and Power Trips
Power and surrender, or “dominance and submission” (D/s) fantasies are quite common among both men and women. They seem to be gaining in popularity, but they're even older than the human race, probably flowing through the erotic minds of our bonobo and chimpanzee cousins. They can be crude or romantic, marvelous or dangerous. D/s fantasies may involve sadomasochism (S/M), bondage and discipline (B/D), an imagined abduction, a fantasy “rape,” spanking, whipping, tickling, torture, teasing, body worship and a host of other activities that may or may not entail actual sexual intercourse. In D/s fantasies, being “bad”--whether you are the nasty Dom or the naughty sub--feels really good. It’s another trick of the imagination that turns the “good” status quo on its head in order to turn you on.
It’s easy to understand why people enjoy dominating others. Power is a rush, especially in fantasy. You get to do whatever you want to the sex object of your dreams. What more could you desire? Many people pursue physical power over others in real life, often entering political, police or military careers. Others prefer to go on their power trips in their erotic imagination. Traditionally, “domination” is considered a male fantasy, probably most popular among young men who are relatively powerless in real-life society, even though they have testosterone-pumping energy to spare. But more and more women say they enjoy the fantasy of being dominant, “on top,” wielding a whip or even sprouting a penis (okay, Freud was right about some women) or other penetrative “weapon,” perhaps wearing a strap-on dildo in real-life sex.
But why do people long to submit? It’s certainly not all Stockholm Syndrome. As a therapist, I hear many more fantasies of submission than dominance, from both men and women. That’s partly because private therapy is expensive, and the men and women who can afford it tend to be successful professionals who dominate others in real life. Nature seeks a balance, often finding it through our fantasy life, making otherwise dominant people long to surrender, to be overwhelmed by someone else’s passion and power. In their erotic imaginations, and sometimes in a real-life role-playing session with a dominatrix, they surrender control for a brief period in their busy, power-packed day or week. They take a mini vacation from real life stress and the responsibility of being in charge, perhaps a time trip back into a childhood or adolescence under someone else’s control. Since society puts so much pressure on us to achieve--and achieving is hard work--deep in our secret erotic imaginations, many high-achievers long to surrender.
But there’s another, even more pervasive reason many people eroticize and even become addicted to submission: guilt. Forced surrender allows you to do something sexual without it being your “fault,” absolving you of guilt, at least in fantasy. No one likes to be raped in real life, of course, but the rape fantasy is extremely popular, as long as it’s being perpetrated by someone attractive. Usually, your fantasy rapist is a kind of Perfect Lover, someone you would actually be thrilled to have sex with in real life. But, in a rape fantasy, you give yourself the additional pleasure of resistance and the absolution of innocence (it’s the rapist’s fault, not yours!). Though, of course, it is your fantasy mind that creates the rapist and everything he or she does. For obvious reasons, the rape fantasy is most common among sexually repressed “good girls” and outwardly conservative men. It’s also an ego-boost to the sexually insecure, as it allows you to feel extremely desirable, so much so that your rapist finds you impossible to resist.
Whether you are being raped, ravished, abducted, tied up, spanked, teased, forced to dress like a slut or led around on a leash as the slave of a powerful, sexy Master or Mistress, in a submission fantasy, you get to be made to do or get what you secretly desire. So a foot fetishist will be “made” to worship feet, the nipple masochist “forced” to suffer extra painful nipple clamps and the panty lover “ordered” to put on the mistress’ knickers. Dominant/submissive scenarios may involve master/slave, goddess/supplicant, rapist/victim, boss/employee, teacher/student, parent/child, john/hooker, doctor/patient or guard/prisoner.
Men and women probably fantasize with equal passion about sexual surrender. But it’s still more socially acceptable for women (even feminist women) than it is for men, so men more often combine feelings of humiliation with submission. Politically incorrect as it may be, male submission fantasies often involve being dressed up in traditional, sensuous or “slutty” women’s clothes and called derogatory "sissy" names. This may or may not overlap with cross-dressing or transgender fantasies.
Keep in mind that some people have transgender fantasies that are not at all submissive; they really do feel that they were born into the body of the “wrong” gender, and their fantasies are sometimes a prelude to “becoming” the opposite sex in real-life through hormones, surgery and lifestyle changes. But very often, male transvestite fantasies aren’t about really wanting to be a woman; they’re about submission in the form of erotic degradation.
I could go on and on about the many different types of sexual surrender and submission that people enjoy. In love--as opposed to war, politics or business, where "surrender" conjures images of defeat and shame--surrender can be sweet and the ultimate, intimate fulfillment. The ancient Taoist masters said, "In yielding, there is strength." In surrender, there can be power--certainly sexual fantasy power.
Exhibitionism and Voyeurism
Another common fantasy combo is seeing and being seen, showing off and watching the show, exhibitionism and voyeurism. It’s not all visual; you can be an audio-voyeur who enjoys hearing someone talk “dirty,” and you can be an aural exhibitionist who gets off on telling your sex secrets to the world. But most exhibitionism and voyeurism is about the joy of the erotic gaze and the thrill of being gazed upon, breaking through the strong social taboo of visual privacy.
The entire porn industry is based on people’s voyeuristic desires to see otherwise forbidden images of other people engaged in sex. We love to watch. There are obviously enough people who love to be watched that there are plenty of porn stars and strippers. Those are extreme professions to be in, but in fantasy you can do it all and bare it all before thousands or in forbidden places. Marilyn Monroe is said to have had recurring dreams in which she stripped off all her clothes in a church as a stunned congregation silently worshipped her naked beauty.
With the advent of reality shows, erotic blogs and obsessive, sexy photo-posting on social networking communities, exhibitionism and voyeurism are busting through the erotic theater of the mind and into that half-way house between fantasy and reality: the media. More and more, natural exhibitionists are just making and posting their own porn, turning everyone on their “friend list” into voyeurs.
In our society, we tend to think of exhibitionism as female and voyeurism as male. After all, due to the hot politics of cold cash, most strip clubs have female performers for male customers and the great majority of straight sex magazines and websites have pictures of women for men to admire. You can post anything on the Internet but, still, women tend to be the ones who get paid for sex as a stripper, prostitute, porn star, mistress or other sexual performer. Whether this shows that women are dominant--making money doing what they already enjoy as they call their own shots--or submissive--allowing themselves to be exploited and made to do things they don’t like for the sake of money--depends on the woman. Likewise, whether “paying for it” shows that men are dominant--wealthy and powerful enough to pay and get what they want--or submissive--forced to pay because that’s the only way they’ll get what they need--depends on the man.
Most people would say the He-Pays-To-Watch-Her scenario is the natural relationship between male and female, but is it? In nature, it's usually the male of the species that's the exhibitionist, the classic example being the peacock. His sex drive programs him to strut his sexual stuff for the female who watches him voyeuristically and quite critically, deciding whether he'd make a good sex partner based largely on the beauty of his tail. Since there aren’t too many opportunities for men to sexually display themselves for women in our society, many men secretly fantasize about exhibitionism. They desperately want to show themselves off, with special emphasis on their taboo penises that are so forbidden everywhere except hardcore porn. In fact, there’s a fetish that is gaining in popularity on the Internet known by its initials CFNM: Clothed Female, Naked Male.
Animals and Angels
Your wild erotic nature may emerge in animal fantasies. Don’t worry, having animal sex fantasies doesn’t (usually) mean you want to have sex with animals in real life. You may just revel in the ultra-taboo, bestial wildness. Horses and dogs figure commonly in men’s bestiality fantasies which usually involve them submissively receiving sex from the animal or voyeuristically watching a woman engaged in sex with the animal. Female fantasies tend to involve the woman being the animal, often something in the wild “pussy” family, such as a lioness, tiger or cheetah. No wonder wildcat patterns are so popular in women’s fashion.
Of course, real-life bestiality is appalling to most people. But animal sex fantasies connect you to your animal nature, often freeing your mind from the all-too-human sexual oppression that lurks within you.
On the other end of the sexual fantasy spectrum lies the spiritual. Sacred sex. You might fantasize about an Eros angel with wings to take you flying. Dreams of flying are often considered symbols of orgasm. You might imagine a divine threesome with you, your lawfully wedded spouse and the all-embracing presence of God or the Goddess. Your sacred sex fantasies might be influenced by a religious upbringing, the Bible, the Koran, the Tao Te Ching or other spiritual teachings that elevate the sex act to something heavenly, such that you might imagine your sexual union as a cosmic merger of two souls becoming one. Religious people don’t tend to characterize their ideas about spiritual union as fantasies, but if the holy robe fits, wear it. Fantasies of sex with space aliens and superheroes go into the “angel” category, though some might be a bit more animal.
These are the most basic types of secret sexual fantasies. There are many more variations, and I’d love to hear some of yours. But first let’s answer a few fundamental questions about sexual fantasy, where it comes from and where it can take you.
Where Do Fantasies Come From?
Your fantasies begin in the cradle, perhaps even in the womb. By the time you reach your teens, they get really intense. Many of your erotic fantasies stem from early memories, the first images you find arousing. If for no other reason than constant proximity, these images often come through interactions with family: your mother's lingerie hanging on the clothesline, your father spanking you, catching your sister naked in the bathroom, your brother wrestling you to the ground. That's one reason why incest fantasies of all kinds are so common. But don't worry; just having incest fantasies doesn't mean you've ever really had incest or ever will.
It’s true that real-life incest victims and perpetrators tend to be preoccupied by such imagery, often arising from traumatic memories. But most people who have incest fantasies have never acted on them. Oedipus complex, anyone? Freud may have been off on penis envy, but he was right on the money shot when he theorized that Oedipus and Electra, Mommy and Daddy complexes, and other types of terribly taboo incest fantasies permeate the secret spaces of many of our erotic minds.
Of course, the family is not the only source of secret sexual fantasy. You might pick up images from friends, neighbors and school experiences, as well as from your favorite fairy tales, movies, TV shows and popular music, not to mention Internet porn. These early images are very powerful, because they impress themselves upon you when you're very impressionable. They become blueprints for your desire, repeating themselves in your memories and activating your imagination, infusing your natural sexuality with meaning and excitement. They alternately confuse, excite, please, comfort and torment you. And they become secret sexual fantasies.
Your erotic fantasies might be influenced by aspects of your early years that aren’t so obviously sexual. We human beings are masters at finding silver linings in black clouds, and we often do this through the “magic” of sexual fantasy. For instance, if you were very sick as a child and confined to bed, you might go on to fantasize about bondage or sensory deprivation. If you were abused or bullied when you were small, then later in life you might turn being bullied into something pleasurable and fantasize about erotic submission or humiliation. On the other hand, your fantasy mind might rather turn the tables on reality and eroticize domination.
What Are Fantasies Good For?
Sexual fantasies can be keys that unlock the doors of your repressed personal history. They can help you to cope with your real-life problems, just as your dreams do, though they tend to do it when you’re awake. They can help you work through past trauma or abuse, operating like an erotic painkiller on negative, hurtful memories. Of course, that can lead to other problems, such as wanting to act out the fantasy and perpetrate the abuse that you experienced onto someone else. But it doesn’t have to. Sexual fantasies and erotic dreams, especially when accompanied by orgasm and perspective (not necessarily in that order), can help to release the stress and trauma of the past. They can also help you relive good sexual memories. You appreciate this benefit of fantasy more as you get older. And no, you don’t have to act out anything in real life; you can keep your secret sexual fantasies and memories locked up in your mind for safekeeping.
But fantasies aren’t just about the past. They can also prepare you for the future. Fantasies can be hazy or detailed rehearsals in the erotic theater of the mind for sexual acts you haven't yet experienced. That’s probably a pretty common use of fantasy at Yale, or on any college campus. Just as athletes imagine playing and winning the Big Game before it actually happens, so you might imagine seducing or being seduced by your Perfect Lover before the Big Date--or the Big Hook-Up. Some Casanovas and Cleopatras combine fantasy with strategy to entice any partner they desire. This is part of the Mystery method that Matador represented at Sex Week at Yale in 2008. If you can dream it, you can do it.
On the other hand, your secret sexual fantasies can trip you up. Fantasies can be very perverse, enhancing your insecurity, even as they arouse your passions. If you tend to fantasize about being humiliated by people you desire, then you might have a hard time--so to speak--psyching yourself up in a positive way for a date with someone you’d like to impress.
Understandably, people often would like to get rid of troublesome fantasies. Maybe they fantasize about being embarrassed when they’d like to be confident, or having gay sex when they’d like to be straight, or doing their partner’s sister when they’d like to focus on their partner. But deleting a secret sexual fantasy from your mental hard drive is much easier said than done. In fact, it really can’t be done. Very often, the harder you try to banish a bad fantasy from your head, the more insidiously it will wrap itself around your every thought and feeling. You simply can’t control your fantasies, at least no better than you can control your dreams.
But your fantasies don’t have to control you either. Just because you imagine doing some crazy, kinky thing doesn’t mean you have to do it. You can’t control what you imagine. But you can, more or less, control what you do in real life. So don’t make like the Thought Police and bust yourself for your fantasies! Hold yourself accountable for your actions, not your thoughts. Your favorite, secret, sexual fantasy is a gift you can’t return, though sometimes, with time, it fades.
To Share or Not to Share?
Make friends with your fantasies. Don’t vainly attempt to control them, and maybe they won’t take control of you. Then you can use them as safe outlets for dark, naughty or forbidden desires that you can’t, or wouldn’t, want to live out--perhaps because you know that doing so would hurt you or someone you love. For some people, fantasies are great mental sex toys, interactive mind-movies, playgrounds for the libido. We grow up playing as children, but gradually all our games become serious and there’s very little playtime left in our adult lives. The erotic theater of the mind is a place for you to play. Do try to play safe, though that’s not always as simple as it sounds.
What about sharing? Opening up about otherwise secret sexual fantasies with your partner can make lovemaking more exciting. Sharing fantasies isn’t usually necessary when you first have sex together. So much is new in reality, your mind doesn’t have to go much farther than the present moment for stimulation. But after a while, when you’re in a long-term relationship, you get to know each other’s bodies so well that your mind is bound to drift…into fantasy. After all, there are only so many physical positions into which you can bend your bodies, but there is an endless array of mind-games you can play, or role-play. On the other hand, your secret sexual fantasy could hurt, anger, scare or disgust your lover. One person’s fantasy is another’s nightmare.
So, to share or not to share? It really depends on you, your partner and the fantasy. In other words: proceed with caution. Take baby steps…
If you've never shared a fantasy with your lover, and you'd like to try, start by sharing a memory, a thrilling erotic experience you actually had together. Reminisce about it in bed, then embellish the memory by imagining something that could have made the experience even more exciting. You can also stimulate the sharing of fantasies by reading or looking at erotica together. Be poetic, be explicit, be romantic, be outrageous, be honest, but be sensitive. Try tossing out small parts of your secret fantasies like test balloons; if it floats, keep embellishing; if you can see it sinking by your partner’s negative reaction, switch gears. It’s risky business, but nothing great in life comes without taking a chance. If you can share your fantasies with your lover, you can get to know each other deeply, weaving powerful strands of feeling into the fabric of your relationship, blending fantasies with memories and ever-expanding possibilities.
Your secret sexual fantasies evolve and change as you do. Of course, it’s your prerogative to keep them a secret. But if they haunt, obsess or hurt you in some way, it might be a good idea to share them with a sex therapist, if not your lover. Troublesome fantasies discussed and explored in a safe, enlightening but nonjudgmental manner tend to lose some of their obsessive, dangerous qualities. Sharing difficult, recurring fantasies with a good therapist might help you to put them in perspective, reducing their negative power over you, so you can make friends with your fantasies and learn to use them to release stress and come to terms with the many layers of your sexuality.
Need to Talk PRIVATELY about Your Secret Sexual Fantasies? Call The Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213-291-9497Read More
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Are you turned on by a good striptease? Do you love the seductive style of a sensuous exotic dancer? Do you get a voyeuristic thrill from the bawdy bounce of burlesque? Do you crave the devastating tease and denialof the skilled ecdysiast? Or do you go for the “amateur,” the sexy girl on the dance floor who lets the music flow through her body like a shimmering stream of pure rhythm?
Do you like to watch your lover dance for you just before you make love? Or do you prefer to gaze upon a stranger, a hot, untouchable, superstar stripper high up above you on the strip club stage? Do supple pole dancers drive you crazy? Are you a helpless fan of the femme fatale? A sucker for a supple lapdance?
Have you ever watched a sexy dancer—on the stage, at a club or in your dreams—wishing you could get to know her better? Do you fantasize about getting her alone and having her deliver on what her dance seems to promise you? Do you imagine her dancing all over you, stripping off your clothes along with hers, then rhythmically riding you into a series of orgasms that has both of you screaming with deep wild pleasure and harmonious erotic energy?
Or do you worry that you (or a loved one) might be “addicted” to strippers? Are you hanging out in strip clubs whenever you can, cheating on your partner or missing work, sticking all your hard-earned cash in those irresistible little G-strings or just giving the stripper of your dreams money shower after shower, until your wallet is empty and dry?
Or perhaps you prefer doing the striptease to watching it. Are you a secret exhibitionist who longs to strip upon a stage, to reveal what you so often conceal? Would you like to be an exotic dancer—professionally or just for fun? Do you need advice about the "business" or encouragement to strip for personal, private pleasure? Are you having trouble handling your desires for exhibitionism? Are you a stripper that wants to transition into a different kind of life?
Do you need to talk about it?
You can talk to us. Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute now or anytime, 24/7, for Striptease Therapy. What exactly is “Striptease Therapy”? It can take a variety of forms, depending on you and your needs. Whether you need help disciplining your out-of-control stripper fetish, getting up the courage to do a seductive striptease for your husband (or wife), or roleplaying an exotic dancer domination fantasy, give us a call at [callus].
Dancing is the world's oldest art form. People have been dancing since shortly after they started walking, and some of the first dances they did were erotic dances, also known as "fertility dances." Essentially, these were dances to make the crops grow along with the men’s erections, dances to make the rain fall as the women got wet. Some say that any kind of dance is erotic. George Bernard Shaw famously called dancing “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.”
Stripping is also very old. Probably as soon as people started wearing clothes, some people started taking their clothes off in a sexy, seductive way. Keep in mind that for many thousands of years, we humans were as naked as all the other animals in the forest. As we started to wear clothing, human nudity became taboo. Unclothing—or stripping—became theteasing “gateway” between the acceptable, civilized, clothed world and the realm of forbidden, primal nudity.
Thus stripping is one of the most basic, powerful aphrodisiacs there is. The gradual, sensuous removal of articles of clothing reveals the natural mysteries of the human body in a viscerally exciting way that takes us from our cultured world of clothing to a naked realm of primeval pleasures and our deep evolutionary origins. A well-known University of Chicago Sex Survey found that the second most common turn-on, next to regular sexual intercourse, is watching someone sexy taking off their clothes.
Slowly...as one of the greatest American strippers, Gypsy Rose Lee said, "Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly" (though, if you’re in a hurry, a quick strip can also hit the spot!)….
Speaking of Gypsy, in response to her request for a “more dignified” way to refer to her profession than “stripper,” H. L. Mencken is credited with coining the word "ecdysiast" – from "ecdysis", meaning "to molt."
Striptease in mythology goes at least as far back as the ancient Sumerian story of the descent of the goddess Inanna into the Underworld where, at each of the seven gates, she removes an article of clothing until her naked arrival in hell. Inanna’s cosmic striptease is carried on in the Dance of the Seven Veils of Salome, who danced for King Herod in the New Testament (Matthew 14:6 and Mark 6:21-22). Though the Bible records Salome's dance, the first mention of her actually removing seven veils occurs in Oscar Wilde's play Salome in 1893 and Richard Strauss's operatic version in 1905, which some claim as the origin of modern striptease.
In the Gay Nineties, striptease and burlesque flourished in Paris at the Moulin Rouge and Folies Bergère, and in 1905, the notorious and tragic Dutch dancer, Mata Hari, later shot as a spy by the French authorities during World War I, was an overnight striptease success at the Musée Guimet. In the 1920s, an American in Paris, Josephine Baker, stripped to nothing but a “skirt” of bananas in her sensational danse sauvage.
The 1960s saw a revival of striptease in the form of topless go-go dancing. This eventually merged with the older tradition of burlesque to create modern stripping. Carol Doda of the Condor Night Club in San Francisco is given the credit of being the first topless—then bottomless—go-go dancer. In the past, the performance often finished as soon as the undressing was over, but today's strippers usually continue dancing, pole-dancing and lapdancing in the nude.
Meanwhile, burlesque or “neo-burlesque” has branched off from stripping into a separate, somewhat more “dignified” and more humor-infused dance form, maintaining the old striptease traditions with new twists. Then there are the modern temple dancers who perform "striptease therapy" in the sacred traditions of Aphrodite and Apsara. So many ways to strip and tease!
One of the most famous striptease artists of modern times, Dita Von Teese, has appeared twice on The Dr. Susan Block Show, including once when Dr. Block interviewed Bettie Page, the late legendary American striptease, pin-up and fetish model, in 1996.
Dr. Block also wrote the definition of STRIPTEASE for the new Wiley-Blackwell International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality.
But back to you…and your stripper fetish…
Do you need to talk with someone who’s been on both sides of the lapdance? For serious sex therapy or a pleasureable phone experience or help with your—or your loved one’s—stripper habit, give us a call right now or anytime you need to talk. Call [callus]. We’re here for you.Read More
Tease & Denial Phone Sex Therapy
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Do you like to be teased? Does it arouse you to be made to wait for that sweet moment of release? Or would you rather do the teasing, prolonging your seduction to make the object of your desire crazy with lust for you? What is it that can make the art of "tease and denial" so irresistible, it's as if it weaves a magic spell around its helpless, happy victim?
Everyone needs a little tease, at least sometimes. Men need to be teased because it makes them slow down. Women need to be teased because it makes us come around. Teasing puts the pizzazz and mystery into sex. Otherwise, we’d just be rutting animals. Even animals tease! Look at the stop-start, pounce-retreat mating dances of birds, cats, apes, even snakes.
A good tease is erotic but indirect, slowly building up to total seduction and surrender. As that consummate strip tease artist Gypsy Rose Lee once said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.” A great tease has all the time in the world. And with a great tease, you never know if you’re going to get the gold you’re going for. You might, but then again you might not. You have to be flexible with a tease. You have to remember the Golden Rule of Tease: You never know. The best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. You have to be willing to go with the tease, please…
Teasing wears a variety of masks and hats. There is the innocent tease who doesn’t even know she’s a tease, and is all the more devastating for it. There’s the experienced tease who spins her webs of seduction with great skill and sensitivity. I say “her” because, though men can tease too, teasing is a feminine wile. It is manipulative and circuitous, womanly attributes. Some teasing is spontaneous, light as a feather. Some teasing is calculated, steeped in the art of salacious sorcery. Some teasing is loving and sweet, almost nurturing, like tickling a baby. Some teasing is playful and charming, dazzling and devastatingly witty. Some teasing is mean and nasty, even vicious and cruel. Teasing can also be humiliating and torturous. And some teasing really hurts. Rapes, murders, even MASS murders have been committed by people—even children--who say they did it because they were teased. Teasing can be dangerous. It can be quite harmless too, of course. That is why we say “I’m just teasing!” to insist we’re harmless. But it is the dangerous aspects of teasing that make it erotic. That, and the sensuous nature of revealing something slowly, gradually, then maybe not at all, then maybe a little more. It is too dangerous to show more. Too hot to handle. That is the Art of the Tease.
One of the greatest teases of history, believe it or not, is Queen Esther of the Bible. The shrewd and seductive Esther of Shushan, in what is now Iran, teased the great and powerful Persian King Ahasuerus into such an erotic frenzy that he freed her people from genocide. Queen Cleopatra of Egypt was also a great tease; it was her extraordinary teasing ability that kept the Romans guessing and ultimately kept Egypt governed by its own people (that is, herself) until her death.
In modern times, teasing is the stuff of stars, Marilyn Monroe being the most legendary tease. Bettie Page, sometimes called the Dark Marilyn, was also a most delicious tease. Now Dita Von Teese continues the legacy of the tease. I was privileged to have Bettie Page as a guest on my show a few years ago--with Dita (when she was an 18-year-old Heather Sweet) in my studio audience! Though Bettie spoke with me on the air for over an hour, she refused to show her face. What a tease. She said she wanted us to think of her the way she was, forever young and beautiful; she wanted control of her image.
And, yes, teasing is about control. Once you lose control, you’re not teasing anymore. It’s tough to tease when you're in mid-orgasm. Once the orgasm is on, the tease is over....unless you're a really good tease.
Does all this talk about teasing make you yearn to be teased?
Call the telephone sex therapists of The Dr. Susan Block Institute for Tease and Denial Phone Sex Therapy. Whether you're looking to be teased yourself by one of our sweet, charming, experienced, degreed and/or deliciously cruel sex therapists, if you're in need of some teasing advice to seduce that someone you've been wanting for a while, or if you want to better understand, explore, express, limit and/or control your desire for tease and denial, we're here for you 27/7. We are the world's foremost experts in the fine art of tease and denial. Call now at [callus].Read More
Stockings and Pantyhose Phone Sex Therapy
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Don’t you love the way a pair of fine, silky-smooth nylons accentuates the length and shape of a gorgeous pair of legs ending in a hot set of high heels—or maybe just sexy “stocking feet”? Do you like naughty garters and old-fashioned, back-seamed stockings or lace-trimmed thigh highs? Perhaps you prefer the fuller coverage of classic pantyhose completely encasing legs, crotch and buns in a tight but ever-so-flexible “second skin” of sheer nylon.
Do you need to talk about your feelings about nylons, stockings or pantyhose? Call the Block Institute at [callus]. Several of our telephone sex therapists are experts in this area of fashion and fetish.
There are so many ways to enjoy the sensual, sartorial magic of fine hosiery…
Stockings incite our senses of sight, touch and smell. Maybe you long to worship, touch, stroke, kiss or sniff feminine feet and legs wrapped like presents in silky nylon or teasing fishnets. Or is it the sight of a charmingly round rump peeking out from above a pair of saucy thigh-highs under a short skirt that arouses you? A pair of sweet, innocent, white knee socks under a school uniform? Or a slinky catsuit or bodystocking sheathing everything in translucent hosiery?
Nude, black or multi-colored, pantyhose conceals as it reveals all that is forbidden below the belt. Perhaps you enjoy the feeling of silky, ultra-sheer pantyhose on your own legs and crotch. Or maybe you just like to play with stockings, wrapping them around your most sensitive body parts for that ineffable, erotic sensation.
Of course, ladies who like to wear nylons usually have no problem putting them on, showing them off and finding partners with whom to enjoy them. Most men like ladies in nylons. But what about men who like to wear them?
That wonderful feeling that so many men get from playing with or wearing “ladies’” hosiery can be tremendously arousing, extremely relaxing or an intensely pleasurable combination of arousal and relaxation. Maybe you started playing as a child or teenager with your mother’s, sister’s or aunt’s stockings or pantyhose, or perhaps you were inspired by your first girlfriend, a special lover, lingerie catalogue or some other catalyst.
Do you need to talk about it with someone who "gets" it? Talking about the source of your feelings for nylons can help you to enjoy them in healthier ways. It can also be very exciting. Call our 24-hour Hosiery Help Hotline at [callus].
It’s important to talk about this with someone who understands, because in addition to the pleasurable feelings, the stocking or pantyhose lover—or fetishist--may also have feelings of deep anxiety, confusion, guilt or shame about his nylon desires.
One source of this anxiety lies in the fact that contemporary society considers fine hosiery to be for *women only* to wear. It hasn’t always been so. In the 18th century, many very manly men (like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and our other Founding Fathers) wore silk stockings and high heels on a regular basis without any fear of being considered effeminate. In the future, hosiery for men might well make a fashion comeback.
But at the moment, society tells men who enjoy wearing stockings and pantyhose that there is something too feminine or just plain *wrong* with them. Sometimes that makes a man’s hosiery fetish even stronger, spicing up the natural pleasures of sheer nylon with the erotic zing of crossing the threshold of the taboo.
But it can also exacerbate anxiety, guilt and shame. Many men are so ashamed of their stocking fetish that they feel they can’t or won’t share it with anyone, even their own wives.
Everyone deserves privacy, especially in that most private of realms, the world of sexual desire. But keeping strong fetish feelings all to yourself can be very stressful and confusing. Of course, it can be dangerous to tell people you know, even—or perhaps especially--people who love you. Talking to an understanding sex therapy professional is usually your best bet. Call the Block Institute at [callus].
We can help you grapple with the important questions. “Why do I like this so much?“ you may wonder. “Am I a stocking fetishist or pantyhose addict? Can I stop or should I embrace my fetish? Does this mean I want to be a woman or just that I like to wear nylons? Does this mean I want to be with men? Or do I just want a woman to accept me for me nylon fetish? Can I share this with someone I love or is this just a private indulgence?”
Unlike most sex therapists, we can also help you to enjoy the sheer fun of your stocking or pantyhose fetish through fantasy exploration, role-play, guided masturbation, nylon play, stocking shopping therapy and erotic hypnosis.
Call [callus], any time, day or night.Read More
Tickle Fetish Phone Sex Therapy
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Do you like tickling? Do you relish tickling a lover until he or she is breathless with laughter and writhing in pain and joy? Or would you rather be tickled, forced to surrender, gasping for mercy, to the wild fingers of a hot lover, until you can’t help but orgasm in ticklish ecstasy?
Our Tickle Fetish Phone Sex Therapists are here to help you talk about, understand, explore, cope with—and indulge in—your tickling fantasies. For information, call [callus]
What’s so special about the teasing, titillating touch of tickling?
Tickling can be a type of “horseplay,” torture, silly sexy fun, deep power exchange, sensual exploration, stimulation or humiliation. Maybe you like to hold a sexy submissive down, take her by surprise, or tie her up and tickle-torture her until she laughs, shrieks, cries and begs for relief. Or perhaps you’d like to be subdued and tortured with tickles on the most sensitive, ticklish parts of your body. Whether it’s the tempting curve of a waist, the soft tummy, inviting underarm, flirtatious feet, the vulnerable inner thighs, or the tantalizing nape of the neck, giving up power and being at the mercy of naughty fingers or devious feathers is a kind of physical and mental submission, as well as an intimate display of trust between partners.
Unfortunately, some people can’t stand being tickled. Others aren’t ticklish at all, and what fun is that? Some think tickling is for kids, or they just don’t “get it.” Naturally, this makes many tickle fetishists rather shy about sharing their fetish with others, fearing rejection or misunderstanding.
Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, we “get it.” We understand and love to explore the erotic pleasures of tickling. To talk to a Tickle Fetish Phone Sex Therapist right now, call [callus]. We’re here to talk anytime.
Childhood tickle games are usually the first times we experience that crazy “tickle high,” the endorphin-raising ecstasy of pleasure mixed with heightened tension bordering on pain that comes with being tickled, as well as the heady power rush of being the tickler. Adult tickling can bring back those erotic memories as well as give both tickler and ticklee that wild and free feeling of being a child again (without involving any real-life children, of course).
Tickling has been an aspect of sex since prehistoric times. Bonobos, dogs, cats and other mammals often tickle each other as they play, sometimes as a kind of foreplay for sex. The ancient Indian Kama Sutra waxes eloquently about the sexual joys of tickling. While the Chinese, Japanese and ancient Romans would use tickling as a form of genuine torture, the Victorians appreciated tickling for its erotic capacity; being tied up and tickled to a kind of ticklegasm was an extremely common fantasy, as well as a specialty of the better Victorian bordellos. Famous tickle-lovers from history include the Egyptian Queen Hatshepsut and Russian Empress Catherine the Great who are said to have enjoyed having their royal feet tickled ritually before and during sex. It’s no wonder that a hot body writhing and wriggling uncontrollably under a barrage of tickles remains a steamy dream for many fetishists.
So…what about you? Need to talk about ticking? Want to get important, enlightening insight into your personal tickle fetish or learn how to introduce tickling games to your spouse or potential lover? Need to work through your fears or shame about tickling? Or perhaps you would like to experience a phone sex fantasy role-play tickle-torture session—giving or receiving. Our tickle fetish phone sex therapists have their fingers ready! Call [callus] right now or anytime you’re ready to tickle or be tickled.Read More
Cheating Phone Sex Therapy
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Are you thinking about cheating? Are you currently engaged in a secret sexual affair? Or maybe you’re just curious, seriously considering having extra-marital sex, but it hasn’t happened… yet. Then again, perhaps you’d never actually do it, but you can’t help fantasizing about it. Or is it the other way around: Do you think your spouse is cheating on you? How do you feel about it? Devastated? Jealous? Enraged? Excited? Aroused? Confused? Need to talk about your feelings? Need help figuring out what to do, if anything?
The telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute understand the thrill and the guilt, the dread and desire, the fantastic excitement and real life repercussions of infidelity, adultery, betrayal, duplicity, cuckoldry and cheating. Let us give you the kind of help you need right now. We’re open 24/7. Call us now or anytime you need to talk:
Need more information before you call? Keep reading to learn the different ways that “Cheating Phone Sex Therapy” with the Block Institute can help you.
Are you currently cheating?
Are you now having an affair now and need to talk to someone about it? Are you sexually involved with a friend, co-worker or someone you met online, unbeknownst to your spouse? Perhaps you’re secretly seeing a “professional,” such as an escort, mistress, masseuse or dominatrix. Are you committed to keeping your marriage (or other serious relationship) going, but driven by this insatiable urge to “cheat”? Is it the irresistible chemistry of your lover? Is it because your spouse will not have sex with you, or at least not in the way you want to have sex? Or is it the taboo thrill of adultery itself that sexually excites you in ways your marriage alone never does?
Regardless of your reason for cheating, the burden of leading a double life is bound to cause you anxiety. Do you need to talk about it? We at the Block Institute are not here to judge you. We’re here to help. That might mean helping you to better understand and cope with your desire to cheat, whether it’s due to fixable problems with your spouse, your own natural promiscuity or something else. If you want to stop, we can help you to stop cheating. If you don’t, we can help you negotiate your secret life with your more public life. Then again, maybe you just need an understanding, open-minded ear to listen to your story with compassion and empathy. Whatever you need to talk about, we’re here for you. Call us at [callus]
Do you think your spouse is cheating on you?
Are you suspicious that your spouse is having an affair? Are you wondering if the rumors of infidelity are true? Need help trying to determine if your suspicions are valid? Are you unsure of the next step to take and want a plan of action? Your sense of betrayal, hurt, rage, excitement and confusion can be so overwhelming that it feels impossible to think, let alone act rationally. Experiencing a wide range of feelings--from fear to envy, anger to arousal, sadness to relief, aggression to depression, rage to lust--is entirely natural. If you need help dealing with these conflicted feelings, or figuring out what’s really going on and/or deciding what to do about your suspected cheating spouse, the telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help. Call us at [callus]
Are you considering having an affair?
Are you seriously thinking about looking outside your marriage for something you feel is missing: the thrill of sex with someone new? Are you desperately yearning for the kind of sex you can’t have with your spouse? Do you troll Ashley Madison, escorting websites or your Facebook friend list, on the verge of getting into an extramarital affair? Do you need to weigh the pros and cons of cheating with an experienced expert who won’t judge you, but will help you make some important decisions about your sex life? Of course, society frowns upon cheating—and for many good reasons. But sometimes having an affair is the “right” thing to do for various reasons, one of which might be that your sinking sex life is in serious need of a lifeboat. Sometimes, oddly enough, it can even save your marriage. Then again, maybe you’re open to the idea of re-igniting the spark in your marriage. Dr. Block is an expert at “making marriage feel like an affair.” Whatever your personal concerns and desires are, if you are considering having an affair—or not—we can help. Call us anytime you need to talk at [callus]
Do you fantasize about cheating?
Do you dream of having an affair, but want to steer clear of cheating in real life? Does the fantasy of hot-blooded adultery turn you on, even though you’re pretty sure the reality of doing it would turn your stomach, not to mention destroy your marriage? Do you think about having hot sex with people other than your spouse when you make love or masturbate? Fantasizing is not actually cheating, of course, but it can feel almost as exciting as cheating--and it’s a whole lot safer.
Have you ever used phone sex to role-play adulterous fantasies? Would you like to try? Phone sex fantasy roleplay is an effective, exciting, discreet way to enjoy many of the erotic thrills of an affair without actually “having” one. Phone sex is a relatively prudent expression of what Nathaniel Hawthorne called "lawless passion." If you're going to have an affair, it’s better (and safer) to do it on the phone than in the flesh. At least, you won't get an STD. And at best, you'll get inspiration and ideas to improve your love life with your spouse without entangling your body, not to mention your body fluids, with somebody else's. In any case, you won't get lipstick on your zipper, or semen on your dress.
The relative safety of phone sex often involves deeper, more complex feelings than concern over STDs. The phone is a stage upon which you can act out your wildest fantasies, a telephonic erotic “Theatre of the Mind” that allows you to safely explore dangerous, taboo desires. Whatever the nature of your adulterous fantasy, we’re here to help you to express it, enjoy, contain and deal with it in as positive a way as possible with the least danger to your marriage, work, family or any aspect of your “real life.”
Is phone sex cheating? Not inherently. Though if you keep your phone sex a secret from your partner, you feel like you're cheating, and if you feel like you're cheating, you probably are. But if you feel compelled to embark upon an affair, and you want to keep things as safe as possible, better to share your lawless passion chaperoned by your telephone. For phone sex fantasy roleplay, call us anytime at [callus]
Do you fantasize about your wife—or future wife—cheating on you?
It goes against conventional wisdom that a married man--or even a divorced or single man—would be excited by the fantasy of his wife—or future wife, girlfriend or ex--cheating by “cuckolding” him. But this type of cuckold fantasy is a lot more common than you might realize, and it is one of the areas in which the telephone sex therapists of the Block Institute specialize. So if you find yourself aroused by cuckold fantasies like this, rest assured you’re not alone.
Besides being about your wife having an affair with another man, this type of cuckold fantasy can be loving or wild, sensuous or kinky, or a combination. It may involve domination, voyeurism, bisexuality, humiliation, interracial sex, feminization, penis size fetishes, striptease, bondage, teasing, oral, anal and many other types of sex that certainly do “spice up” that sacred marital bond—even if you never do any of it in real life. For more information about your cuckolding or hotwifing desires, see Dr. Block's article on “sperm wars.”
Whether or not you act on these desires, it’s always a good idea to talk about them to someone knowledgeable. Dr. Block can help you to understand your feelings in order to determine what you might want to "act out," and what is better kept in the realm of fantasy. Sometimes you just want to leave reality for the moment and enter the magical erotic world of fantasy roleplay, and you can do that with Dr. Block or one of our cuckold phone sex therapists.
And yes, of course, you can masturbate (if you want), during sessions. And no, there is no other phone sex or sex therapy service quite like ours.
Call us anytime at [callus].Read More
What to talk about side1
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EROTIC PLEASURES Call Phone Sex Therapy Pure Uncensored PHONE SEX Straight Phone Sex Lesbian Phone Sex Gay Phone Sex Bisexual Phone Sex Transsexual Phone Sex Threesome Phone Sex Cuckold Phone Sex Orgasmic Phone Sex Bukkake Phone Sex Kinky Phone Sex Intelligent Phone Sex Sensuous Phone Sex Romantic Phone Sex Personalized Phone Sex Strip Tease Hot Girls Masturbation Fantasy Roleplay Hot Chat Fellatio Cunnilingus Fingering Hot Sexual Intercourse Doggy Style Woman on Top Missionary Position Analingus (rimming) Anal Sex Goddess Worship Sadomasochism Bondage & Discipline Phone Bondage Swinging Dressing Up Abduction Fantasy Medical Fantasy Smoking Intruder Fantasy Leather Latex Lady Boys Rubber Fur Foot Fetish Water Sports Female Ejaculation Frottage Erotic Teasing Nipple Play Crossdressing Spanking Catfight Fantasy Domination Surrender Hot Dirty Nasty Talk Romance Lingerie Play High Heels Boots Stockings Pantyhose She-Male Fantasy Panties Jealousy Fantasies Underwater Sex Vibrator Play Dildo Play Butt Plug Play Group Sex Fantasy Slave Training Cuckold Fantasy Presidential Sex Genital Torture Exhibitionism and Voyeurism Cannibal Fantasy Satanic Fantasy Infantile Fantasy Shoe Worship Interracial Sex Playing Doctor Beach Party Consensual Gangbang Celebrity Fantasy Girl Next Door Boy Next Door Horny Housewife Next Door Mother Fantasy Father Fantasy Childhood Fantasy Teenage Fantasy Rape Fantasy Hermaphrodite Fantasy Orgy Corsetry Muscle Woman Pregnant Fantasy Mênage à Trois Flagellation Cum Fetish AutoFellatio Fantasy Felching Fantasy Food and Sex Shaved Genitals Shaved Bodies Animal Sex Fantasies Golden Showers Brown Showers Erotic Enemas Fisting Wet on Wet Queening Gag Fantasy Piercing Wrestling Fantasies Tantric Sex Play Weight Training Sensory Deprivation Sensory Enhancement Tickling Science Fiction Fantasies Vampire Fantasies Incest Fantasies Bondage Fantasies Nurse Fantasies Tattoos Small Breasts Big Breasts Big Nipples Big Buns Beautiful Buns Tiny Tummy Big Tummy Pregnant Tummy Long Legs Shaved Vulva Hairy Vulva Big Penis Small Penis Big Balls Slut Training Shaved Penis & Balls Threesomes Block Party Multiple Orgasm Love Fantasy & much, much more… Read More
What Can We Talk About?
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You can talk with the telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute about anything you like. No topic is too taboo. Look over the lists of subjects below under "Sexual Issues" and "Erotic Pleasures," if you need some ideas. As you can see, there is quite a bit of overlap among the topics, and we deal with more subjects than we could possibly list.
You may need to talk about several different subjects in one session. Perhaps you want to discuss some serious sexual issues in your life as well as enjoy an erotic phone sex fantasy. That’s fine and usually very beneficial to your sexual health in numerous ways. There are no limits on what you can discuss or how you and your therapist talk in your private telephone or webcam session. Though each one of our therapists doesn't specialize in every kind of subject, we have a large team working with the Institute, and we can almost always find a therapist suited to your specific needs and desires.
And yes, you can masturbate, if you want, during telephone sex therapy sessions. And no, despite the proliferation of interesting options on the Internet and beyond, there is no other phone sex or phone therapy service quite like ours.
Sexual Issues Understanding Your Sexual Nature and How to Live with It Exploring Your Erotic Fantasies How to Find the Lover of Your Dreams Understanding Your Partner’s Fantasies Dealing with Your Fears and Desires How to Express Your Erotic Nature How to Explore Your Sexual Fetish Erotically and Safely How to Share Your Fantasies with Your Partner How to Liberate Your Inner Bonobo Childhood Influences on Your Sexuality Relationships and Sex Families and Sex Work and Sex Politics and Sex Money and Sex Religion and Sex Art and Sex Cuckoldry Trust Issues Fear & Sex Sexual Wellness Religious Sexual Abuse How to Channel Erotic Inspiration How to Get What You Want In Sex, Love, Life and Death Orgasmic Fulfillment Orgasm Difficulties Masturbation Issues Masturbation Technique Mutual Masturbation Safe Sex in Dangerous Situations Ejaculation Control Erectile Difficulties “Sex Addiction” Body Image Issues Shyness Exploring the Clitoris Low Sexual Desire Dealing with Your Partner’s Low Sexual Desire Penis Size Concerns Enhancement of Arousal Virginity Issues Exploring Pain/Pleasure Dynamics How to Find the Erotic Elements in Everyday Life Dealing with Sexual Illness and Injury Sex and Physical Handicaps Trying “The Lifestyle” (Learning to Swing) How to Increase the Passion in Your Marriage Eros and Thanatos How to Develop Your Sexual Communication Skills How to Talk about Sex with a New Lover How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse How to Give Great Oral Sex What You Should Know About Dominatrixes What You Should Know About Prostitutes What You Should Know About Porn Stars How to Seduce the Lover of Your Dreams How to Lose Your Virginity Premature Ejaculation Different Sexual Positions for Different Pleasures Sexual Anatomy Lesson How to Deal with Extra-Marital Affairs Your Own or Your Partner’s How to Explore Your Feminine Side How to Explore Your Masculine Side Using Your Sexuality to Enhance Your Creativity Why Women Should Explore Phone Sex How to Explore Your Submissive Side How to Explore Your Dominant Side How to Find a Woman’s G–Spot How to Find a Man’s P–Spot How to Female Ejaculate How to Help Your Partner Experience Female Ejaculation Tantric Sex Techniques Pornography Issues How to Meet Mr. or Ms. Right How to Deal with Your Sexual Feelings toward Your Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Children, Next-Door-Neighbor, Co-Worker, Boss, Employee, Student, Teacher, Sister-in-Law, Brother-in-Law, Cousin, Aunt, Uncle or Other Inappropriate Object of Your Desire How to Recover from Incest Trauma How to Recover from Rape, Molestation and Other Negative Sexual Experiences How to Use Sex Toys Explore the Loss of Control Sex and the Stock Market Holiday Blues/Holiday Sex How to Break Away from a Toxic Lover How to Forget a Lost Love Advertising for Love in the Classifieds and on the Internet Gender Issues Body Shame Sex and Age Bisexuality Sex and Drugs Sex and Anti-Depressants Sex and Aphrodisiacs Dressing for Sex Undressing for Sex Sexercise for Sexual Health Circumcision Issues How to Conquer Your Sexual Phobias Finding the Pleasure in Your Life How to Share Sex Toys with Your Partner Sexual Meditation Erotic Relaxation Techniques How to be an Ethical Hedonist How to Practice the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure
Erotic Pleasures Pure and Uncensored PHONE SEX Straight Phone Sex Lesbian Phone Sex Gay Phone Sex Bisexual Phone Sex Transsexual Phone Sex Threesome Phone Sex Cuckold Phone Sex Orgasmic Phone Sex Bukkake Phone Sex Kinky Phone Sex Scary Sex Intelligent Phone Sex Sensuous Phone Sex Romantic Phone Sex Personalized Phone Sex The "Girlfriend Experience" The "Porn Star Experience" Strip Tease Hot Girls Masturbation Fantasy Roleplay Hot Chat Fellatio Cunnilingus Fingering Erotic Teasing Bondage Hot Sexual Intercourse Doggy-Style Woman on Top Missionary Position Analingus (rimming) Anal Sex Goddess Worship Sadomasochism Bondage & Discipline Phone Bondage Swinging Dressing Up Abduction Fantasy Medical Fantasy Smoking Intruder Fantasy Leather Latex Lady Boys Rubber Fur Foot Fetish Water Sports Female Ejaculation Frottage Erotic Teasing Nipple Play Crossdressing Spanking Catfight Fantasy Domination Surrender Hot Dirty Nasty Talk Romance Lingerie Play High Heels Boots Stockings Pantyhose "She-Male" Fantasy Panties Jealousy Fantasies Underwater Sex Vibrator Play Dildo Play Butt Plug Play Group Sex Fantasy Slave Training Cuckold Fantasy Presidential Sex Genital Torture Exhibitionism Voyeurism Cannibal Fantasy Satanic Fantasy Infantile Fantasy Shoe Worship Interracial Sex Playing Doctor Beach Party Consensual Gangbang MILF Fantasy Celebrity Fantasy Girl Next Door Boy Next Door Horny Housewife Next Door Mother Fantasy Father Fantasy Childhood Fantasy Teenage Fantasy Rape Fantasy Hermaphrodite Fantasy Orgy Corsetry Muscle Woman Pregnant Fantasy Menage a Trois Flagellation Cum Fetish AutoFellatio Fantasy Felching Fantasy Food and Sex Shaved Genitals Shaved Bodies Animal Sex Fantasies Golden Showers Brown Showers Erotic Enemas Fisting Wet on Wet Queening Gag Fantasy Piercing Wrestling Fantasies Tantric Sex Play Weight Training Sensory Deprivation Sensory Enhancement Tickling Science Fiction Fantasies Vampire Fantasies Incest Fantasies Nurse Fantasies Tattoos Small Breasts Big Breasts Big Nipples Big Buns Beautiful Buns Tiny Tummy Big Tummy Pregnant Tummy Long Legs Shaved Vulva Hairy Vulva Big Penis Small Penis Humiliation Fantasy Big Balls Slut Training Shaved Penis and Balls Threesomes Block Party Multiple Orgasm Love Fantasy much, much more!
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