“Dr. Block, I’m having a problem: I have to masturbate at least 10 times before I get up in the morning,” confesses a self-described “older woman” aptly named “Hot Frost” calling in to The Dr. Susan Block Show.
Wow, sounds like it takes a LOT of onanisticorgasms to defrost Hot Frost.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with masturbation – even 10 times before breakfast – but since the sizzling Hot Frost frames it as a “problem,” I suggest she take up belly dancing.
“That is really cool!” replies Hot Frost who is actually quite cool herself, as well as, well, hot.
I’m glad she likes my idea because it just so happens that I have a couple of sexy and very sensuous belly dancers, the lovely Leela and Salome, as guests on this show, lounging voluptuously in my big broadcast bed like its King Solomon’s harem. They agree that belly dancing is a great way to express your sexual energy while you get in shape and socialize. Plus, you get to shake your booty like Leela and Salome in glittering bras and bangles.
Turns out to be the perfect advice for high-energy Hot Frost who happens to be an “erotic dancer.” Max and I invite her to visit the show, and several Saturdays later, she actually shows up, looking even sexier than she sounds… but that’s another show.
“Masturbation Bellydance” is a vintage clip from the “SEX CALLS” broadcast archives of The Dr. Susan Block Show (circa 1998). This is NOT a call with actual therapy clients; those are absolutely private and confidential. This is a caller on our Saturday night live show. For more information, call us at 626.461.5950. For current shows and other events, visit us at http://drsusanblock.com
It’s Masturbation Month, a time to honor and extol the virtues of sex-for-one. Virtues? For centuries, masturbation has been denigrated as self-abuse. However, more and more, we are calling it what it is: self-pleasure. It feels good. And it is good. But what is it good for? A lot more than you can stuff in a hand basket. But the following are 8 great basic benefits to masturbation, wanking, jacking off, jilling off, walking the dog, polishing the pearl, spanking the monkey, dancing around the Maypole, sexual solitaire, self-pleasure or, as Doonesbury calls it, ”self-dating,” starting with the fact that….
Masturbation is Natural.
Bonobos do it. So do dolphins, horses, dogs, kangaroos, porcupines and most other animals, including humans. Ultrasounds show us that many fetuses-in-utero put their tiny hands between their little legs… and masturbate.
Masturbation is Convenient.
As Truman Capote once wisely pointed out, “You don’t have to dress up for it.” Come as you are. The Greek philosopher Diogenes praised the extraordinary physical efficiency of masturbation: “Would to heaven that it were enough to rub one’s stomach in order to allay one’s hunger.” The folks who brought the world democracy understood the powerful, positive benefits of solo sex. So did their gods. Maybe we should too.
Teaching the benefits of self-pleasure while riding a Sybian on The Dr. Susan Block Show. Photo: Ono Bo
Masturbation is Ecosexual.
Though masturbation has been called “self-pollution,” it actually produces very little real pollution (unless you toss your tissues out the car window). Regardless, masturbation is a great form of population control. You won’t get pregnant from it. Do it in the great outdoors (but not in a park where you’ll get arrested), and feel at-one-with-nature. Love the Earth You Make Love On. Just watch out for the poison oak. Also, some fruits and vegetables seem shaped for masturbation. Try a nice cucumber or turnip—Nature’s Own Dildos!
Masturbation is Safe.
As long as you’re not playing auto-asphyxiation games or sticking lightbulbs up your rectum, you won’t get hurt. As long as you’re just using your own toys or putting condoms on the ones you share, you won’t get an STD. Even more important, you won’t hurt other people. Just in case you’re clueless about consent, masturbation keeps you from raping anyone. If you have problematic sexual desires, if you want to do illegal, immoral, nonconsensual things to people, just don’t do them! Masturbate.
Masturbation is Relaxing.
Partner sex is more romantic, but it can be stressful in ways that masturbation is not. Director Milos Foreman said, “What I like about masturbation: You don’t have to talk afterwards.” No pressure. Just pleasure. Much like partner sex, orgasms through masturbation can relax you deeply, release your stress and help you to get the deep rest that your body needs.
Masturbation is Educational.
When it comes to learning your own turn-ons physically and mentally, you can’t beat masturbation education. You can use your self-pleasure time to practice your kegels, tantric breathing or the stop-start technique. You can test new sex toys more easily when solo-sexing than when you’re with a partner. But mutual masturbation is also educational: show and tell your partner what you like. Talk about home schooling! You won’t want to play hooky from this.
Masturbation is Healthy.
Masturbation, especially when climaxing with a good heart-pumping orgasm, is a great cardio workout, good for your heart rate, blood pressure and brain chemistry. It also protects against yeast infections in women and prostate cancer in men, not to mention, masturbation releases mood-boosting endorphins, and it can clear your sinuses, at least temporarily. It also keeps you in shape for partner sex. “Use it or lose it!” they say, and masturbation uses it. Self-pleasure is healing in a million different ways, physical and mental. Heal your sexual shame through self-pleasure! Most importantly, masturbation will not kill you. Auto-asphyxiation notwithstanding, nobody dies from masturbation.
Masturbate: Know Thy Sexual Self!
Nobody talks about it, but the longest term relationship you’ll ever have with anyone is the one you have with yourself. So why not make it a good one? Masturbation enables you get to “Know Thyself” (with a hat tip to Socrates), sexually speaking. So, get into it, and get to know you. Treat yourself. Just for a few moments, focus on your pleasure without worrying about anyone else but you. Turn self-pleasure into self-love. And no, that doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you feel good. And when you feel good, you’re more likely to be good to others.
Merry Masturbation Month from Bonoboville. Photo: Jux Lii
So go ahead and spank that monkey shamelessly, at least through Masturbation Month. Make love to someone you love… even if that someone is you.
And if you need a hand—a friendly, supportive, knowledgeable, sex-educational guide into your self-pleasure exploration or celebration—the sex Therapists Without Borders of the Block Institute are just a phone call away. Call 213-291-9497
by Dr. Susan Block.
Bloody Mary in the morning? Cherry pie in the afternoon? Riding the Crimson Wave into the night and over the moon?
If you love Red Wings (hold the jalapeño), you’re already salivating. If you don’t, well, you may wish to be excused from this berry-stained episode of Sex Calls.
Though it’s gorily perfect for Halloween!
“Steve” is calling for my help with his fetish for “period sex.” Dr. Suzy as "Aunt Ruby" to the rescue! There’s nothing wrong with having sex – even cunnilingus, aka “red wings,” as Steve confesses he enjoys – when a woman is menstruating. In fact, it can be wonderful - albeit a bit messy - especially for the menstruating woman.
After all, period cramps can be painful, and an orgasm is an amazingly effective, organic painkiller.
Parting the Red Sea with Passion...
And then there’s the almost Biblical, extremely taboo aspect of period sex which I address in my Esther Story featured in The Erotic Edge, mingling the “blood of my affliction with the juice of my affection.”
Period sex can also be a “rare” pleasure for the Bloody Mary-loving man, a man like Steve, the primal wildness, the forbidden (sometimes called "unclean") flavors, the “war paint” aftermath and especially the earthly, womanly “scent.” Some guys even feel it gives them super powers.
Steve’s “concern” is that he is a self-described “sexually active male,” chowing down on “red wings” at two or three different restaurants - I mean, with two or three menstruating women at a time – well, not at the same time (that would be quite the Halloweengore fest!), but within a few days of each other.
At least Steve wears condoms, but still, blood sports are inherently dangerous for a range of reasons. For one thing, it’s “unsanitary,” I caution our bloodied love warrior. It’s also rather unsafe sex. “I believe you should respect your turn-ons,” I advise, “but I also believe you should respect your life… and their lives.”
Do you think Steve is weird? Perhaps, but this Red Wing Gourmet savors the fact that not many men have a taste for strawberry tamales - partly because it makes his lovers love him even more. “You found a niche,” I concur, “kind of like 'niche marketing'” - especially when you're as much on the "meat" market as Steve says he is.
Nevertheless, “everything in moderation,” I caution Red Sea surfer Steve. “Be an ethical hedonist… “While I want you to enjoy your fetish, I hope you can treat these women as real human beings and not just as founts of bloody passion.”
Those last four words seem to give Steve an instant erection. Nevertheless, he agrees that a monogamous relationship would be safest for having monthly period sex with the kind of wild abandon he adores.
Like most Sex Calls, this one is timeless, though it does reference my neopuritan nemesis Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I’m also wearing a cap HBO gave me while my HBO special (rated #1 at the time), was running, so it was probably broadcast live around 1998.
Will Steve find himself the ultimate red wing(s)? Even if he does, will he be satisfied with just one? Find out in this vintage clip from the “SEX CALLS” broadcast archives of The Dr. Susan Block Show (circa 1998). This is NOT a call with actual therapy clients; those are absolutely private and confidential. This is a caller on our live Saturday night live show. For more information, call us at 626.461.5950. For current shows and other events, visit us at http://drsusanblock.com.
