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Secret Orgies

with Dr. Susan Block

Should Jessica Open Up to Her Next BF about Her Sex Soirées or Lead a Double Life?

 

by Dr. Susan Block

Jessica calls into DrSuzy.Tv with the quintessential “lifestyle” issue.

“I’ve had a couple of orgies,” she explains. Wow, 26-years-old and quite the sex party hostess!

The problem, Jessica continues, is that every time she tells a new boyfriend about the orgies, he breaks up with her.

So, she asks me, should she keep her orgiastic exploits a “secret” or find someone who will accept this somewhat taboo part of her?

To Tell or Not to Tell…

That is the question! As I see it, Jessica needs to choose between two schools of sexual adventurism, the European and the American, which break down – more or less – like this:

1) The European Way: You lead a double life and keep your extracurricular secret from your significant other. This is sometimes referred to as cheating, but with the caveat that you will do your utmost to ensure that your partner will never be confronted with the truth.  If and when they are, all bets are off. That’s the downside of doing it Euro-style; learning the truth of your partner’s lust can destroy your trust.

2) The American Way: You’re honest about your sexuality, even if it means alienating a potential partner. This might involve engaging in the extracurricular sex with them or just being open about it, even if they don’t join in. I realize that honesty isn’t all that “American” – at least not in politics – but this is how many kinky sex experts differentiate stealthy sex parties (Euro) from honest orgies (USA).

There are probably Asian and African Ways as well, but these seem to break down the basic choices open to Jessica’s conundrum.

Though I choose the “American Way” for myself and generally recommend it to others, I understand and even respect the European “double” lifestyle, despite its inherent dangers. Regardless of the way we choose to mix the flavors of our sex lives with the palate of our day to day, there will always be benefits and pitfalls.

To help her make her own choice, I ask Jessica: Are you the kind of person who likes to share what’s going on in your life with the person you love?

What do you think Jessica says? What way does she choose – European or American? Watch and find out!

“Secret Orgies” is a vintage clip from the “SEX CALLS” broadcast archives of The Dr. Susan Block Show (circa 1998) broadcast live from Dr. Suzy’s Speakasy at the Villa Piacere in the Hollywood Hills. This is NOT a call with actual therapy clients; those are absolutely private and confidential. This is a caller on one of my Saturday night live shows. For more information, call us at 626.461.5950. For shows and other events, visit us at http://drsusanblock.com.

Have a question about group sex? Or is there something else you need to talk about that you can’t talk about anywhere else? Experience Phone Sex Therapy. Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213-291-9497. We’re here for you.

 

 

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by Dr. Susan Block.

Have you been thinking about group sex? Do you dream of casting all rigid social boundaries aside and indulging in the orgiastic hedonism of a threesome, multiple partners, a swing party, a pansexual celebration, a polyamorous arrangement or a full-on orgy?

Perhaps you already enjoy the pleasures of sex with more than one partner at one time, but you need to talk about your experiences with someone open-minded, knowledgeable and discreet. Maybe you’re considering group sex or the swinginglifestyle,” and you need to sort out the pros and cons.  Then again, you might believe that multiple partners, free love and orgies are best left in the realm of the imagination, but you’d love to share the fantasy with someone who understands, or maybe even more than one someone at one time; after all, we are talking about group phone sex therapy.

Do you want to make your group sex fantasies come true, at least partially? Do you need to talk about orgies, swinging, “designer relationships,” open marriage, polyamory, communal ecstasy?  Want to know the ins and outs of threesomes, foursomes, and more-somes? Need advice on how to bring these exciting but touchy subjects up to your spouse?  Would you like to experience group phone sex therapy?  Call the Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

 

Several of our telephone sex therapists are experts in group sex, polyamory, swinging and our world-renowned philosophy of ethical hedonism.  Group sex might sound very kinky for some, but it fulfills a very natural, human need to share erotic, orgasmic, loving experiences with multiple people, friends, loved ones and attractive strangers.  In a world that increasingly demands compartmentalization and isolation, there are few arenas left in which humans can share in this vital, life-affirming experience of communal ecstasy.

 Most of us are expected to meet all our sexual and erotic needs within one relationship, usually a marriage, that is supposed to last our entire adult lives.  Our sexual experiences are expected to be always private, “just the two of us,” usually in a locked bedroom, often in the dark.  There’s nothing wrong with that; in fact, private couple sex with someone you love is probably the most intimate, meaningful kind of sex there is.  But there is something very special and truly wonderful about the “collective joy” (with apologies to Barbara Ehrenreich) of group sex that partner sex simply cannot duplicate.

Many anthropologists agree that prehistoric humans often engaged in various forms of group sex–just as our closest genetic cousins, the bonobos, do–for tens of thousands of years before the advent of farming and “civilization” started pressuring people, especially women, to be sexually monogamous.

Just because human society changed and started trying to squeeze the square peg of our true polyamorous, orgiastic sexual nature into the round hole of traditional marriage and monogamy doesn’t mean human beings changed.  We are still inherently nonmonogamous, or even what Sex at Dawn authors Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethas, as well as sexpert Dan Savage, call “promiscuous.”  Some of us can “control” our desires for multiple partners and group sex experience better than others.

 Of course, despite society’s sanctions against it, some people have always found ways to enjoy various forms of group sex.  The famously decadent orgies of ancient Rome come to mind.  In the 18th century, during the period known as The Enlightenment, European intellectuals commonly took pleasure in the delights of partner-swapping—including the proudly promiscuous and ingenious Mary Shelley, author of the classic Frankenstein. Of course, “cheating” has always been a popular option for those who can manage double lives, though often at great risk to the cheaters’ marriages and even their lives.  Swinging rose in popularity in the U.S. during World War II with the “Key Club” parties where married men would leave their house keys in a basket so that other men at the party could enter their homes and have sex with their wives.

As a result of the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 70s, and an increasing openness to nontraditional forms of sexual expression, swinging and other forms of group sex have become increasingly common in America and around the world.  Yet a cultural distrust of group sex still exists, and in many areas of society–especially those that are religious, conservative or very “politically correct”–this distrust and disapproval of any kind of erotic expression that goes beyond the married couple has risen and intensified.  Many normal, sexual people who have a basic human yearning for communal ecstasy are afraid to indulge in it, and even too ashamed to talk about it with their partners.  The repression of these natural desires can put the individual—and the marriage itself–under tremendous toxic stress.

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What you do is up to you, of course.  But it always helps to talk about your feelings with someone who understands, someone you can trust with your secrets and desires.  The Block Institute offers conventional sex therapy as well as the opportunity to roleplay a group sex fantasy you may have over the phone through simulated swinging, guided masturbation or erotic hypnosis. Your group sex fantasy may involve orgies, threesomes, fetish play, bisexual activity, cuckolding, domination and submission,breaking taboos,or any number of other forms of erotic adventure.  You can even speak to multiple therapists at one time for group phone sex therapy. As always, your telephone sex therapy call is completely private and confidential.

For more information or to arrange to talk to a therapist right now, call us anytime 24/7 at 213.291.9497.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

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