Should Jessica Open Up to Her Next BF about Her Sex Soirées or Lead a Double Life?
Jessica calls into DrSuzy.Tv with the quintessential “lifestyle” issue.
“I’ve had a couple of orgies,” she explains. Wow, 26-years-old and quite the sex party hostess!
The problem, Jessica continues, is that every time she tells a new boyfriend about the orgies, he breaks up with her.
So, she asks me, should she keep her orgiastic exploits a “secret” or find someone who will accept this somewhat taboo part of her?
To Tell or Not to Tell…
That is the question! As I see it, Jessica needs to choose between two schools of sexual adventurism, the European and the American, which break down – more or less – like this:
1) The European Way: You lead a double life and keep your extracurricular secret from your significant other. This is sometimes referred to as cheating, but with the caveat that you will do your utmost to ensure that your partner will never be confronted with the truth. If and when they are, all bets are off. That’s the downside of doing it Euro-style; learning the truth of your partner’s lust can destroy your trust.
2) The American Way: You’re honest about your sexuality, even if it means alienating a potential partner. This might involve engaging in the extracurricular sex with them or just being open about it, even if they don’t join in. I realize that honesty isn’t all that “American” – at least not in politics – but this is how many kinky sex experts differentiate stealthy sex parties (Euro) from honest orgies (USA).
There are probably Asian and African Ways as well, but these seem to break down the basic choices open to Jessica’s conundrum.
Though I choose the “American Way” for myself and generally recommend it to others, I understand and even respect the European “double” lifestyle, despite its inherent dangers. Regardless of the way we choose to mix the flavors of our sex lives with the palate of our day to day, there will always be benefits and pitfalls.
To help her make her own choice, I ask Jessica: Are you the kind of person who likes to share what’s going on in your life with the person you love?
What do you think Jessica says? What way does she choose – European or American? Watch and find out!
“Secret Orgies” is a vintage clip from the “SEX CALLS” broadcast archives of The Dr. Susan Block Show (circa 1998) broadcast live from Dr. Suzy’s Speakasy at the Villa Piacere in the Hollywood Hills. This is NOT a call with actual therapy clients; those are absolutely private and confidential. This is a caller on one of my Saturday night live shows. For more information, call us at 626.461.5950. For shows and other events, visit us at http://drsusanblock.com.
Have a question about group sex? Or is there something else you need to talk about that you can’t talk about anywhere else? Experience Phone Sex Therapy. Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213-291-9497. We’re here for you.
For more information, call our recorded line.
213.291.9497
We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.
