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COUGAR SEXUALITY
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Dedicated to all the great Cougars of history and mythology who remind us that "mature" can be sexy, if we want it to be. by Dr. Susan Block. Do you like older women? Actually, do you just love older women? Have you ever been intimate with a sexy, experienced female who happens to be a year or two—or maybe a couple of decades—older than you? Have you thought about it? Have you ever fantasized about your sultry history teacher, a celebrity influencer or maybe that beautiful, sophisticated politician on TV? Or did your doctor give you some additional symptoms? If you feel this way, you’re not alone. You just want to get with a Cougar. Then again, maybe you are a Cougar, or you’d like to be one… What's a “Cougar” First, let’s define our terms. What do we mean by "Cougar"? No, we’re not talking about the wildcat. Though, it’s understandable if you’re fascinated by these majestic feline animals. Like pumas or panthers, American wildcat cougars are big, beautiful, powerful pussies who could possibly eat you alive, if they’re hungry. A human “Cougar” is a hot older woman who enjoys younger men—or women, or anyone else for that matter. The Cougar deliberately seeks out younger lovers for relationships and casual encounters, often acting as a sexual guide or teacher, based on her greater erotic experience. Urban Dictionary defines a human Cougar as “an ‘older,’ experienced woman who happens to find herself in a sexual relationship (committed or not) with a younger man. She is not necessarily a slut, nor is she desperate. She offers sexual expertise and is open to new experiences…Though older, she may actually look younger than her ‘hook-up.’ She is attractive, confident, and just wants to have fun. She will not attempt to trap her mate into marriage, children or even an exclusive relationship. She is not interested in drama or games, as that would interfere with the pleasure she enjoys.” That’s a good definition of the ideal Cougar. Not all are quite so superlative. Some are “desperate.” Some “play games.” Cougars are human too—despite their formidable feline powers.Just like in the wild, even the fiercest Cougar adores her playful cubs. Nevertheless, they can be the most fabulous creatures on earth! MILF vs. Cougar Is a Cougar a MILF? Not necessarily. While a Cougar can be a MILF (Mother I’d Like to F*ck), a MILF is not always a Cougar. However, the two are often closely associated, and a woman can sometimes be both a MILF and a Cougar. Stifler’s Mom in American Pie comes to mind, or the notorious Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate. “Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?” In sexual parlance, the MILF serves as an object of desire. Her feelings are not as significant to her “MILF” status as the fact that she is a mother, and her sex appeal—her body, her style, that *look* she gives you when she asks you to mow her lawn. She herself may or may not be interested in sex; what makes her a MILF is that she looks and/or sounds sexy. Technically, the Virgin Mary could be a MILF, if you’re turned on by halos. Also, a MILF can be any age, older or younger than the MILF lover. Cougars, on the other hand, are always older than their lovers. They also are, by definition, very interested in sex. Cougars deliberately seek out erotic encounters and relationships with younger partners. When they find someone they want, they might well pounce… like a cougar. Cougars can be MILFs, but some are child-free. The significant factor that separates the Cougars from the MILFs—or anyone else—is their profound desire, coupled with confidence. This is partly biological, as women tend to reach their sexual “prime” in their late thirties—mid-forties, which is also prime Cougar time. But not every woman 35-45 is a Cougar. That takes a special kind of prowess. Not only do you have to be sexy enough to attract younger lovers, bold enough to approach them and energetic enough to keep up with them, you also have to handle rejection gracefully. No matter how irresistible your magic mirror says you are, not every potential young lover wants to be your cub. Though you can comfort and re-energize yourself with the knowledge that there are plenty out there who do. Is a Cougar a "Hot Wife"? Possibly, but not necessarily. If she's married, perhaps to an older man who can't keep up with her sexually, she might cuckold him with a young cub (with or without his knowledge), and then she'd be a Hot Wife. But Cougars can also be single, polyamorous or some category of their own ingenious invention. Are YOU a Cougar? Do you prefer younger lovers? Do you feel younger than your chronological age? Is great sex important to you? Is it more important than what other people think? Have you noticed partners your own age just can’t keep up with you—in bed, on the dance floor, in the great outdoors or anywhere? Are you a sexually experienced woman unashamed of your “past,” but excited to share what you’ve learned with others? Are you unafraid to pursue what you want? Can you handle the “no” word? Can you take a joke? Are you fairly independent? Those wildcat cougars tend to be solitary creatures that mostly socialize when they seek a mate. Human Cougars aren’t antisocial—not at all—but they do tend to be self-reliant. Can you relate (at least sometimes) to current youth culture and music? Would you be comfortable with paying for dates and other things? If they were worth it, would you be someone’s “Sugar Mama”? Are you young at heart and open for adventures you can’t even imagine? If your answer is “yes” to half those questions, you’re a Cougar! Or, you could say, you’re “Cougar Sexual.” Or maybe “Cougarsexual.” Kind of like “pansexual” or “sapiosexual,” but with the focus on the mature female (of any gender, really; I know some feminine—but not trans—gay men who consider themselves Cougars) who take younger lovers.Little did young Massimo know he had entered the den of a Cougar and her cubs, but soon enough, he became her favorite. Warning: When I say “younger,” I’m not talking under-age, of course. No jailbait please! Obviously, that’s illegal, unethical and all kinds of wrong. All “cubs” must be over 18. If you’re not sure, ask to see an ID… before you’re in bed. Seriously, you can’t be too careful. When in doubt, bow out. Cougarsexuality is more socially acceptable than ever in civilized history, but with equal opportunity comes equal responsibility. Irresponsible Cougars who are caught going after underage teen students are being prosecuted and receiving hefty prison terms. They also have the words “sex offender” stamped on their record like a modern day “Scarlet Letter.” It’s not just about age, it’s also about consent. You’re a human Cougar, not a ravenous mountain cat, so make sure your *prey* is at least somewhat interested before you pounce. One of the Cougar’s most appealing qualities is that she tends to take the lead. A lot of people love to be chased by attractive pursuers, men included—especially men, as men are so rarely chased! Nevertheless, don’t take the so-called *predator* role of real cougars as your model. And no pouncing on actual students or patients of yours, dear teachers, professors and fellow doctors! Though roleplay can be a fantastic way to fulfill these common but taboo sexual fantasies. This might sound like a lot of restrictions for a human wildcat. Nevertheless, the world can be your proverbial oyster if the object of your desire is of legal age, doesn’t involve “exploitation” of your professional position and isn’t your best friend’s son… well, maybe your best friend’s son (if over 18) would be okay. Then again, probably not. Choose wisely, Madame Mountain Cat! Are You a Cub? No, I'm not talking about Chicago baseball, though you might be playing a game that involves your bat and balls. Basically, if you’re attracted to Cougars, you're a “cub,” the older cat’s younger, playful, adorable companion. Of course, the actual wildcat’s cub is her own offspring, while a human Cougar isn’t her cub’s real mother... at least not usually, though it’s a common fantasy, as evidenced by the extreme popularity of my friend Kay Parker (who played the Mom, Barbara Scott, in the notorious film Taboo). Cubs can be male, female, trans or gender-fluid. However, most of the time, cubs are men, though they might feel and act like boys—or “boy toys”—around their Cougar. In terms of kink, a cub could be dominant or submissive to his Cougar. Unless the cub is a very low-level slave to a Cougar Domme, the erotic feelings tend to be mutual. Just like in the wild, even the fiercest Cougar adores her playful cubs. Most sexual fetishes and preferences stick with you for a lifetime, but for many people, desiring a Cougar or cub could be a temporary phase. For instance, a man might prefer Cougars in his teens and twenties, but then settle down in his thirties to have a family with a woman his own age or younger. A woman might marry an older man; then after she's widowed or divorced, she could come out as a Cougar. She might stay a Cougar the rest of her life or, after a few flings with cubs, go back to being with older guys. The fact that wanting or being a Cougar or cub is often a temporary phase isn't, in and of itself, a good or bad thing. However, it's something to keep in mind when one of you seems to be more serious about a long-term relationship than the other. Why Cougars Attract Cubs The most popular Cougar quality is her sexual experience and the fact that the cub can learn from that experience. Many young men are unsure about what to do to please a woman, as well as how to stay hard, bring up a fetish or fantasy, try new positions, or just relax and enjoy themselves, and a good Cougar can help them with all of that. They can also be embarrassed to tell a woman what arouses them. A good Cougar can draw them out and, thanks to her experience, she tends to have a good idea of what positions, techniques, fantasies and “dirty talk” turn her partners—and her—on. A sexual relationship with an experienced Cougar can be like enrolling in a college of carnal knowledge where you’re majoring in your sexuality. You can *be yourself* with your Cougar, as she isn’t so easily shocked, though, like any teacher, she usually demands respect from her student. My husband Max (Massimo in Italian) often says he was "raised" by Cougars. He was first approached by a beautiful older woman when he was a very handsome but rather shy teenager hanging out on the beach in Genoa, Italy. In her late thirties (twice his age!), Angelina took young Massimo to her palatial cabana where dozens of other young men were lounging around, drinking and smoking. Little did young Massimo know he had entered the den of a Cougar and her cubs, but soon enough, he became her favorite. Alas for Angelina, things change quickly in the life of a cub, and within a few weeks, young Massimo was onto Cougar #2. Myria Selva, renowned Italian actress, seduced him while he was waiting on her table at the restaurant by the Eleanora Duce State Theater where she was starring in a play. Later, Myria got Massimo a part in that play, he moved in with her and her two chihuahuas, and the young cub learned everything his Cougar could teach him about sex, romance, women and the theater. Myria passed away in 2013, but I know she will live forever in Massimo’s heart as that remarkable older woman who guided him onto a path of joyous sexuality, feminine beauty, fantastic theater and great erotic art. Besides sexual maturity, a Cougar’s experience often brings emotional maturity, almost always a bonus in an adult relationship. A Cougar’s sexual confidence is one of her most alluring qualities. Cougars tend to be independent and not as needy as young drama queens, nor are they as likely to exact revenge if things don’t work out. Ben Franklin Loved Cougars! Don’t just take my word for it. Ask America’s greatest Founding Father, Benjamin Franklin who, in Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress), gives several reasons why more mature women make better lovers than younger ones. Some of these “reasons” are rather sexist and dated, but others are timeless, like: “Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.” “Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion.” “Lastly, they are so grateful!” Ben goes on at greater length, with flourish. According to historic accounts, he really did like Cougars (especially the European *breed*) and is rumored to have had affairs with several and probably could have written The Cougar Almanac for Young American Cubs at Home and Abroad. Cougar Problems Of course, not all Cougars are wonderful, discreet, experienced, ideal sex teachers. After all, as Capt’n Max often says, the ideal is the enemy of the real. A Cougar could be inexperienced; perhaps trapped in a sexless marriage for 20 years before she makes a break and finds a younger lover. A Cougar could be immature, mean and rather ungrateful. Rich widow Cougars are more likely to be that way… but they make up for it—sometimes—by financing your wardrobe, meals and art projects. For any rule, there are always exceptions—especially when it comes to love and sex. From the Cougar’s viewpoint, life isn’t always a bed of roses—with the perfect cub in the middle—either. At least, not without thorns. All real roses have thorns. Then there’s the perverse little matter of social customs. Though a Cougar’s confidence and experience are her greatest, sexiest strengths, they can also be a kind of curse, intimidating people who are comfortable with more traditional gender roles. Times are a’changing, but the double standard remains. Men still usually pair up with younger women—both in real life and on screen, for casual sex and serious relationships—and as men grow older, very often their female partners get even younger, especially if the men are successful. Well, that’s capitalism for you! Though inconsistent and often unfair itself, the #MeToo movement is moving society towards a more critical view of such pairings where the guy’s a lot older than the gal, as well as a more open attitude to the Cougar/cub relationship. Nevertheless, for the most part, the majority of human societies accept a man dating or marrying a woman four decades younger than him as *normal.* In contrast, if a woman is just a few years older than her male partner, it’s often considered quite scandalous, or at least taboo. In part, this is due to biology; women usually can’t bear children past their forties, which is when Cougar’ing often gets in gear—while men (usually with a little help from Viagra) can technically reproduce until they’re flatlined. So, men *should* desire younger women, and women *should* be attracted to older men (who can presumably provide for their inevitable children), at least according to evolutionary psychology which says we are all driven by reproduction. Perhaps, but that drive to reproduce doesn’t always translate into actually reproducing. Not everybody wants to have biological children, and in our human-heavy world, being “child-free” can be a good thing for the individual and society. Sometimes that “drive to reproduce” that we all innately possess is channeled into great art, service to humanity, romance, adventure and/or awesome Cougar sex. So… what’s the big deal? The “big deal” is tradition, religion, repression, patriarchy and paranoia. These are some of the ancient sources for the societal messages that whisper, sing and shout at us that a mature woman with a younger man is an abomination, a sin, an embarrassment, a disaster or just plain wrong. So, whether you’re the Cougar or the cub, don’t be surprised if your friends and family—not to mention your church, temple, therapist and most of pop culture—try to dissuade you from this path. It is not for the weak… though it makes you weak in the knees. As of this writing, pop icon Madonna (aged 62) is being dragged on social media as "distasteful" for showing PDA (public displays of affection) with her 27-year-old boyfriend, Ahlamalik Williams. One commenter said, "It is sad to see that Madonna can’t age with grace [and] is trying to act younger." Would the same be said about a man of Madonna’s age with a woman of Ahlamalik’s age? And what exactly does it mean to “age with grace”? To confine your playtime to grandchildren, your skirts to below-the-knee, your hair to silver-grey and your sex life to nonexistent? Perhaps, another way to “age with grace” is to be an elegant erotic guide to eager young students of sex. Of course, Madonna gets more than her share of “Go Girl!” comments too; she’s Madonna! And part of what makes Madonna “Madonna!” is her ability to transcend the haters and just do what she wants, and that includes taking lovers (and husbands) who are almost always younger than her (see below). So, if you’re confident, sexy and energetic like Madonna—or like YOU—you’ve got what it takes to assume the title of Cougar. With a little luck, your cub could even be elected President of France! When Brigitte Trogneux Macron first began seeing Emmanuel Macron, they met in secret; their love was so forbidden. Not only was she 25 years older than him, but she was also his high school drama teacher. Despite the stigma, they persevered, fell more deeply in love, and eventually came out to their families and the world. Now Emmanuel is President of France and Brigitte is First Lady. Talk about a cub/Cougar power couple. Rowl! Cougar by Numbers Though the Cougar/cub combo is still considered taboo, the numbers are growing, even for long term relationships. The amount of marriages where the woman is five to ten years older than her spouse is small (5.4 percent and 1.3 percent, respectively), but they have doubled between 1960 and 2007, according to census data. It’s cool to “go your own way,” but there’s strength—and respect—in numbers, and the numbers are running with the Cougars!Looking to talk with sexually mature woman who can teach you a thing or two about sex? We’re available anytime. Call us now at 213.291.9497. Some Cougar History Honored and maligned, beloved and despised, mature women have been taking younger lovers throughout history and probably prehistory as well. Cougars also appear in ancient mythology. One of the earliest mythological and most famous Cougars of all time is Aphrodite (Venus to the Romans), Greek Goddess of Love, Sex and Beauty who has many younger lovers—including her own son, Eros! But her favorite mortal cub is Adonis, so handsome, other gods and goddesses fall for him as well, though Aphrodite is, was and always will be his great immortal Cougar love. According to legend, the Goddess of Love’s favorite cub never grows old. Adonis dies young, killed by a wild boar sent by jealous Artemis, Virgin Goddess of the Hunt, but the young cub’s love for his Cougar Aphrodite remains eternally strong. The Greek playwright Euripides displayed a less sanguine view of Cougars, cubs and cuckolds in Hippolytus (428 BCE), the tragedy of Phaedra, beautiful wife of famed hero Theseus who falls in love with her stepson, Hippolytus, who most vehemently does not love her back, resulting in terrible fates for the whole family. If you’re looking for inspiration to explore the Cougar life—or that of the cub or cuckold (Theseus is the paranoid cuckold)—do NOT read Hippolytus! My French teacher made us read Jean Racine’s version of Phaedra (en français, s'il vous plaît) in my junior year—when I was a bit of a Cougar as I was dating a sophomore—and honestly, it disturbed me so much, I never took another French class. Though I love France! Speaking of France, one of the greatest Cougars in history was Diane de Poitiers (1499-1566), mistress of the French King Henry II. When she was 35, the beautiful, bold, charming and athletic Diane seduced the teenage Prince Henry. This would be considered statutory rape now, and even then, though not illegal, it was unusual. Nevertheless, they fell in love, and when Henry was crowned King, Diane de Poitiers became a powerful royal mistress, lasting even through the King’s official marriage to Catherine de Medici (who is said to have invented high heels—possibly so she could look her rival in the eye). Besides being the Queen of French Cougars before anyone called them “Cougars,” Diane was an “influencer” B.I.G. (Before Instagram), posing for the finest painters of the time with her cub the King, her beloved horses, suggestive stags and symbols of France, as well as delightfully nude. Catherine the Great (1729-1796) ruled 18th century Russia for three progressive decades and enjoyed at least a dozen different lovers, most of them younger than her. She started by cuckolding her husband Peter III, and picked up speed as a Cougar after his death. Catherine “loved to be in love,” especially with younger swashbuckling soldiers. Her most famous cub was Prince Grigory Potemkin who, as he grew older, encouraged his Empress to take even younger lovers. But no, though she was a great equestrian, and rumors abound, there’s no proof that Catherine the Great ever had sex with her horse. One of the most notorious Cougars of the 20th century was the sultry Mae West. Though Mae reigned over a revolving stable of real-life cubs (in her later years, it was part of her act), she also had a long-time lover, the handsome Paul Novak, who was 30 years her junior. Beyond her inner circle, there were all her younger fans—virtual cubs—including the late great producer of most of my HBO specials, Dave Bell. Though I was already pretty bawdy, Dave encouraged me to model my on-screen *character,* in part, on Mae’s seductive, witty, older-womanly persona. Mae was the ultimate Cougar/comedienne, and unlike most comics of yesteryear, her jokes are still funny. Like a fine wine or *well-preserved* veteran of multiple love affairs, some of Mae’s witticisms have grown wittier with age: Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up. A hard man is good to find. When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better. “Cougar” Term Origins Despite their powerful, undeniable *influence,* nobody called these bold older ladies who take younger lovers “Cougars” until the 1980s when, urban legend has it, the term “Cougar” entered our erotic lexicon through “locker room talk.” Apparently, the Vancouver Canucks hockey team, when teasing each other about the mature female fans on the prowl for players, referred to these older ladies as “Cougars.” In 1999, Cougardate was launched online, and Toronto Sun journalist Valerie Gibson wrote a story about it in 2001 which, in 2008, became a book, Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men. In 2003, Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrell) and Smith Jerrod (Jason Lewis) embarked upon a steamy and very intimate long-term romance in “Sex and the City.” A few years later, the TV sitcom Cougar Town (2009-2015) followed the exploits of a divorced MILF (Courtney Cox), often shown sipping a glass of red wine. A sultry mom of a teenage son who dates younger men, this Cougar winds up marrying her divorced same-age neighbor. Meanwhile, on the high seas, Carnival Cruise line ran a “Cougar Cruise” that drew over 300 attendees, but apparently, it was too Carnivalesque for Carnival. But the Cougar Party isn’t over!Are you looking to explore some memories or fantasies of the Cougar on your mind? You can talk to the Therapists Without Borders who are eager to speak with you. Give us a call at 213.291.9497. Celebrity Cougars With the advent of the Feminist and Sexual Revolution in the 1960s and 70s, and progressive, sex-positive movements, and the general decline in religiosity over the last four decades, there has been greater social acceptance of older women dating younger men, and celebrities are at the forefront of this transformation. Celebrities are the gods, goddesses and empresses of our times, so it’s no wonder Celebrity Cougars are on the prowl like Aphrodite or Cate the Great. Though it could just as easily be the young Adonis—or Potemkin—“cub” that takes the lead, as in the case of super hunk Jason Momoa who fell head over heels for Lisa Bonet from his living room TV set, watching her on the old Cosby Show when he was a kid in Hawaii. He even told his own mother, “Mommy I want that one,” even though (or because) she was (and still is!) a dozen years his senior. Soon enough, young Jason grew up (and boy, did he grow) and pursued his dream. Sometimes, celebrity crushes are best left in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, but sometimes dreams come true, and cub Jason and Cougar Lisa are now married (together over 14 years) with a beautiful blended family. In the early 2000s, Demi Moore and 15-years-younger Ashton Kutcher’s Cougar/cub marriage brought the term to the forefront of pop culture, though Demi said she prefers to be called a “Puma.” Technically, a “Puma” is supposed to be in her thirties, while Demi was in her forties at the time, but who’s counting? Whichever wildcat you prefer, following her rather tempestuous split with cub Ashton (who married the five-years-younger Mila Kunis), Demi has since dated other younger men. There’s also Heidi Klum, 16 years older than Tom Kaulitz; Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana (she's nine years older); Kate Beckinsale and Goody Grace (24 years difference); Lesbian Cougar Ellen Degeneres and her “cubbette” wife Portia de Rossi (15 years apart); Priyanka Chopra who is 10 years older than Nick Jonas; Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade, (they have a decade between them); Sam Taylor-Wood (54) and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (30); Selling Sunset reality personalities Mary Fitzgerald and Romain Bonett (12 years apart); Hugh Jackman and Deborah Lee-Furness, (13 years apart), and the Cougar/cub list goes on. I also consider Meghan and Prince Harry to be Cougar and cub; she’s three years older than him, which isn’t much, but it’s another little tweak of British royal tradition. Though it follows a different facet of that same tradition, since Harry’s great grand-uncle, King Edward VIII, married another controversial American divorcee, the notorious Cougar Wallis Simpson, two years older than the King who abdicated the throne for her. No doubt, if there was a Ms. Cougar Pageant, there would be a lot of competition, but Madonna, the quintessential Cougarsexual Material Girl, would probably take the crown. She’s had older boyfriends like Warren Beatty (which may have been a Dick Tracy PR play), but she is famous for her “boy toys,” praised and pilloried whenever their photogenic PDAs appear. She started her Cougarsexual adventures with model Tony Ward (five years younger), then dated (to name just a few) Tupac, David Blaine, Vanilla Ice, Dennis Rodman, Anthony Kiedis, Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie (she married these two cubs), Alex Rodriguez, and the youngest cubs, Brahim Zaibat, Timor Steffens and most recently, kissable smokable Ahlamalik Williams. She pulls it all off with flair. Madonna makes the Cougar life seem downright in Vogue. The Legend of Cougar Liz Warren Could the feisty U.S. Senator from Massachusetts be a Cougar? While running for President, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren suddenly found herself in the midst of a three-ring media circus casting her as the ferocious “Cougar” in the center ring. It all started when the goofball grifter team of Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman, a couple of far-right tRump supporters and notorious “sexual assault” fraudsters, held a bizarre, quasi-kinky and laughably sanctimonious press conference, elaborately accusing Senator Warren of the high *crime* of Cougarsexuality. The leading man of their slapstick project, Kelvin Whelly, a 25-year-old, “decorated,” hunky, but not-too-sure-of-his-script Marine/escort/cub, claimed he was Liz’s BDSM sex slave or Master or whatever (where’s that script?) for $1000 a visit, more or less, plus tips and Uber rides. After allegedly connecting through a Cougar/cub dating site called “Cowboys for Angels,” he said they met in various hotels for “not just rough sex, but extensive BDSM play” and other “deviant sexual activities” with a “cat o’ nine tails” (which he procured from Amazon, “as we all do”) and “a lime green strap-on dildo (bringing to mind a disturbing image of Sean Spicer in Dancing with the Stars).” Lacking proof or coherency, poor Whelly and Wohl’s “case” collapsed like a limp cowboy. However, if Elizabeth Warren really was or is a kinky cougar wielding a cat o’ nine tails and a strap-on dildo of any color on a hunky twenty-something cub, well, more power to her. I especially appreciate Liz herself tweeting a snappy response to the accusations, establishing herself as America’s Queen of Shade (at least for that media cycle), slapping the douchebags down, making a titillating little pun, and staying on point with her “plan” for canceling student debt: “It’s always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it.” Go Cougars! Hello Cougar Sally Mullins If you have a slightly “dirty” mind like me, you’re probably wondering if there’s a porn parody of the Boston Cougar, maybe “Jizz on Liz” or “Whorin’ for Warren.” Well, wonder no more: “Hello Cougar” comedienne, frequent DrSuzy.Tv guest and multiple SUZY award winner, Sally Mullins, aka porn star Jamie Foster, pounced on it. Her uncanny resemblance to Elizabeth Warren, dressing and acting the part in films like Scorin’ with Warren, makes her the perfect Liz Warren Porn Parody Doppleganger. You can also see Sally as Liz on The Dr. Susan Block Show broadcast live just before the Coronapocalypse: First, we talk politics and beer (Corona, of course), but then I just have to strip the Senator down and book-spank her naughty bare bottom with The Bonobo Way to make her feel the Bern for how she treated Bernie. Watch Cougar Liz Warren Does DrSuzy.Tv. Unlike Liz, Sally Mullins is a proud real-life cougar. Blonde and bawdy as a modern-day Mae West, we met Sally in 2017 on Kink Month III: Night of the Cougar, when she was our featured guest promoting her “Hello Cougar” show that showcased her erotic encounters with cubs. She came back to Bonoboville for Cougar Kink to promote “Cookin’ 4 Pussy,” in which potential suitors would whip up something delicious for her in exchange for sex… if she likes what they cook, or maybe how they cook it. [gallery columns="6" link="file" ids="55963,55958,55964,55967,55961,55957,55959,55955,55956,55965,55962,55954,55966,55953,55951,55950,55949,55952"] On Cougar Equinox, we delved deeper into Sally’s quirky CougarSexuality—exploring how, as porn star Jamie Foster, she lives her Cougar fantasies to the sexual fullest—and we give cute cubbette Sunshine a bare-bottom OTK (over-the-knee) spanking over all four of our knees. Sally enjoys her Cougar lifestyle for a number of reasons, not least of which is that it provides a constant source of comedy for her show. Laughter is a mental orgasm, after all. She also likes the regular orgasms that come with the Cougar life. The “mature woman” of Ben Franklin’s wet dreams, Sally seems to genuinely appreciate the sexual energy and drive of younger men, and the fact that they don’t try to control her very free spirit (as older guys tend to do), at least not outside the bedroom—where she kind of likes to be controlled. Now she hunts for her “prey” online, as well as everywhere else. She’s also picked up a few younger guys right here in Bonoboville, not that that’s a huge challenge. Bonobo Cougars Cougarsexuality is very bonoboësque. Indeed, the Make-Love-Not-War bonobos empower the older females—sexually and otherwise—more than any other great ape culture.Bonobo Cougars rule Bonoboville. Along with common chimpanzees, bonobos are the closest Great Apes to human. But while common chimps are patriarchal with older females being at the bottom of the hierarchy, among bonobos, the mature females are at the top, in charge, respected and usually beloved by all. They’re almost all mothers, so you could call them MILFs—and I often do! They’re also Cougars, as these mature bonobo females also tend to be bold and confident in their pursuit of younger partners (male and female) and, of course, they love sex. Indeed, Bonobo Cougars rule Bonoboville. Based on their greater experience, the older females impart their erotic wisdom to the younger generations. Not only do Bonobo Cougars teach their younger lovers how to have sex in a Bonobo Sutra of positions, they also teach them to how to use sex to make “peace through pleasure.” It’s amazing! Bonobos are the only Great Apes that have never been seen killing each other in the wild or captivity, in part, because Bonobo Cougars are in charge of life in Bonoboville. I often say that that we humans would be better off if we could release our inner bonobos and follow the Bonobo Way, not just because we’d have more fun in life, but because bonobos hold the keys to a world without war. Cougarsexuality is one of those keys. Cougar Power From glittering palaces to wild jungles, Cougars are everywhere. If you’ve really read this far (and didn’t just skip to the bottom), congratulations! You’re now a Cougar/cub sexpert.If you still have questions about finding or being a Cougar, concerns about your Cougar/cub relationship, an interest in phone sex therapy, or you’d just like to explore a Cougar fantasy in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, perhaps through erotic hypnosis, guided masturbation or webcam therapy, call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213.291.9497. Where you’re a Cougar, cub or just curious, we’re here for you. Want to Read Some Reader Comments about Cougar Sexuality? Or Post Your Own Comment? Click These Links: Cougar Sexuality on Facebook Twitter One Twitter Two © May 27. 2021 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950. Read More |
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MASKS are SEXY!
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Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. – Oscar Wilde by Dr. Susan Block. As the Coronapocalypse continues to rage, with public spaces opening up, closing down and then opening back up again, you might have a couple questions about masks…
Need to talk about masking up, navigating your sex life, relationships, fantasies and realities during the Coronapocalypse? Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213.291.9497. We’re here for you. Comfort Is Sexy Having dispensed with Question #1, let’s move on to… #2: Now that you know you ought to wear a damn mask, how can you make it more fun? With face coverings as “essential” an article of clothing as shoes or underwear (nothing against going commando, but you get the idea), how can you make them more comfortable, cool, effective and most important, SEXY? Sexy? Say what? Thanks to their practical function, it’s hard for most of us to imagine face masks as something fun, let alone sexy. But the Coronapocalypse has already drained so many pleasures from life; we need to find them wherever we can. So, why not in our face masks? As a sexologist, I believe it’s important to our sexual health and well-being to make masks sexier.I for one never look at a guy in a mask and think, “What a weakling! I bet he’s really bad in bed.” Start with comfort, which is a key to feeling and looking sexy. Let’s be honest: Masks aren’t always comfortable. This is why many people won’t wear them, and the politics is just “patriotic” window-dressing for their feelings. Privileged individuals especially, accustomed to getting their way in life, feel their personal physical comfort to be a top priority, usurping even their own safety, as well as the safety of others. It’s amazing how many people who wiggle themselves into skyscraper heels or strangling neckties find facemasks unbearably uncomfortable. Fortunately, some very creative people are designing more and more comfy coverings, so perhaps the comfort cravers will soon be satisfied. And it’s a step towards making masks sexy! Personal Note: Though masks may be uncomfortable, they’re far less uncomfortable than a ventilator. Believe me; I’ve been on one. Triggered by Masks“Nothing is more real than the masks we make to show each other who we are.” – Christopher Barzak For many people, mask mania is more emotional than physical. Some feel *triggered* by masks because they’ve heard (possibly from a certain former U.S. President) that they represent a terrible infringement on their *freedom.* It’s true that many societies throughout history have made prisoners wear inhuman “masks of shame” and hoods, like those detainees have been forced to wear in Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo and other military prisons. So, these fears of forced masking are not totally baseless, though they have been warped to fit certain political agendas. Just remember folks, we're not prisoners of war here! We're in a pandemic, and we’re being asked to cover our mouths and noses to protect ourselves and our neighbors, not to punish or imprison us. Another twisted notion is that wearing a mask makes someone appear “weak.” In reality, caring for the health and well-being of others is anything but “weak.” I for one never look at a guy in a mask and think, “What a weakling! I bet he’s really bad in bed.” However, belief can be a powerful force, even if it’s wrong, unscientific and has more to do with fear and fantasy than reality. Concerned about being "weak," cuckolded or "measuring up" in some way? Need to talk about it with someone you can trust? Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213.291.9497. We’re here to help. What Do People Think of You?Behind every mask there is a face, and behind that a story. – Marty Rubin For some, anti-mask fervor arises from peer pressure; the people in your family, team, neighborhood, political party or religious group actively despise liberals, “political correctness,” socialism and masks, so you do too. Then, sprinkle a little physical discomfort with that fear of weakness, stirred up within a fervent anti-mask cult that believes the earth is flat, the election was “stolen,” vaccines are the mark of the beast and masks are a government plot to “muzzle” the populace, and the next thing you know you’re storming a shopping mall, demanding your “right” to show off your fuming, spitting mug to folks who really don’t want to see it, let alone be spit on by it. Refusal to wear a mask indoors during a pandemic is, in this humble sexologist’s opinion, worse than refusing to wear pants… or a seatbelt, both being illegal in the U.S. It’s more like insisting on your “right” to drive while drunk, endangering not only yourself, but everyone who happens to be on the road with you. Nevertheless, it’s disingenuous to say that mask-wearing is “nothing” or “no big deal.” Let’s all just acknowledge, it’s a pain in the ass. Well, the face.Confused? Anxious? Horny? Need to talk? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are highly experienced in erotic matters. So, if you don’t know where to start, no worries! Looking for safer sex through the erotic theater of the mind? Developing a medical fetish looking at all those sexy masked-up doctors and nurses? What sexy alternatives can you explore in the Coronapacalypse? Give us a call anytime at 213.291.9497. No Glove, No Love? No Mask, Don’t Ask! Like any article of clothing, comfort depends on style, fabric and fit. Some masks are so bad, wearing them is like having sex while wearing a too-tight condom or, even worse, a too-baggy one. Actually, in a way, wearing a mask to prevent the spread of COVID-19 is like wearing a condom to prevent the spread of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) or STIs (sexually transmitted infections). For one thing, condoms aren’t terribly comfortable, so why do we wear them? Very often it’s because our partners insist, “No glove? No love.” The Coronapocalyptic equivalent might be, “No mask? Don’t even ask!” In fact, Germans have come up with a new term for masks, “gesichtskondom,” or “face condom.” It’s an article of clothing that protects the wearer and others from disease and the exchange of bodily fluids, so it really *fits*! Also, like a condom, it’s important to wear your mask correctly. Otherwise, it’s pretty useless. Many of those politicians who look dumb (and not at all sexy) in their facemasks are just wearing them wrong. [gallery columns="6" link="file" ids="55826,55825,55821,55823,55822,55824"] Make sure your nose is covered and that the mask fits your face snugly, but not so tight, it’s uncomfortable. For combining comfort with protection, choose a breathable, but protective fabric. Does wearing a mask or a condom makes things completely safe? No, just safer. It’s like we used to say back in the 1990s: There is no such thing as absolutely “safe sex.” There’s only safer sex through outercourse, phone sex and condoms. A condom doesn’t guarantee protection from an STI—after all, the condom could break, or you could put it on or take it off sloppily— so wearing a mask doesn’t guarantee you won’t get or give someone COVID. In the Coronapocalypse, there is no such thing as absolutely “safe” living. Only safer living through hand-washing, physical-distancing and wearing a damn mask.Masks can be as liberating as they can be confining. Masking up is nothing new. What history peeks out at us from behind the masks we wear today? Hint: Some of it has to do with sex appeal… Who Was That Masked Man—or Woman? Humans have been wearing masks since prehistoric times for disguise, protection, performance and seduction. In the Coronapocalypse, we think of our facemasks primarily for protection against COVID-19, but there’s no reason we can’t enjoy them for the other three purposes too. Hold-up; by “disguise,” I don’t mean you should disguise yourself with facemask to rob your local convenience store. It’s true that one of our most common conceptions of facemasks stems from images of bandits concealing their identities with a bandana before holding up a bank. Unfortunately, in the Coronapocalypse, some modern thieves have exploited the mask mandate to do just that. This pandemic economy is particularly unjust for the poor and has made desperados out of many otherwise decent people, but that’s no excuse! Side note: Anti-maskers who believe the “Deep State” is making us wear masks to “control” us are ignoring the simple fact that covering your face makes you harder to identify and control by the government, bots, scanners or your local store clerk. That’s why thieves have always masked up for disguise. As long as you don’t commit crimes, you might enjoy the fact that your face mask “disguises” you to some degree. If you’re shy, anonymity can even be an aphrodisiac; that’s one reason so many masked revelers have long loved Venetian and Brazilian Carnavale. In this sense, masks can be as liberating as they can be confining. You might like going out incognito, wearing a dark, mysterious mask with matching shades, like a spy in a romantic thriller. But please, no stealing, no stalking and no ammosexual accessories (you’re not really a spy)! [gallery link="file" columns="6" ids="55791,55831,55793,55796,55794,55798,55795,55800,55797,55830,55829,55799"]Hopeless romantic? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute can help you with your romantic issues, your fantasies, problems and pleasures. Need to talk about something you can’t talk about anywhere else? We can help. Give us a call at 213.291.9497. Weapons of Masked Seduction“If you want to say something and have people listen then you have to wear a mask.” – Banksy Masks have long been an integral element of theater. The oldest mask ever discovered dates back 9000 years to 7000 BCE, but the art of making and wearing masks is far older, visible in 30,000-year-old paleolithic cave drawings. Because these prehistoric masks were made of perishable materials like leather and wood, they didn’t survive, but we can see by the cave drawings that the earliest uses of masks were for performance, dance, ceremonies and rituals. Whether dazzling, comforting or frightening, all of these face coverings conveyed some kind of artistic, “magical,” seductive appeal. Prehistoric masks were the first Weapons of Masked Seduction. Such theatrical masks continued to be worn in the ancient Greek Dionysian Festivals, Medieval Passion Plays, Guy Fawkes, the Phantom of the Opera and beyond.Let your body talk. Since people can’t see your face, they will pay more attention to the rest of you. Personally, I’ve always loved theatrical masks, since I was a Theater Studies major at Yale, especially in the Italian Commedia Dell’Arte tradition, and eventually in my own Commedia Erotica style. Over the years, as I put on hundreds of masks to assume different roles and for the sheer, playful pleasure of masquerade. Honestly, I never dreamed I’d be wearing a mask to protect me and those around me from death-dealing microbes. But my masked theater experience does give me ideas for making masks—even face masks—fun and sexy. Many of our theatrical Comic-con culture’s greatest superheroes—from Zorro to Batman—also wear sexy masks, aka “domino masks,” but they tend to go around the eyes instead of over the mouth, Spiderman and the Flash being notable exceptions. Have you ever worn a mask in a play, cosplay, film, masquerade party, on Halloween, Mardi Gras, Purim, Carnival or Carnavale? Perhaps you *played* a trickster, sexpot, superhero or alter ego. Did it make you feel less inhibited, more adventurous, less constrained by your usual worries of what people might think of you because the real, identifiable *you* was partially hidden? Take that party-mask energy into face-mask-wearing, and you’re almost guaranteed to be sexy. Let your body talk. Since people can’t see your face, they will pay more attention to the rest of you. So, if you’re not already a dancer, model or bootcamp graduate, straighten up that saggy posture and learn to move like you mean it! Pretend you’re a costume designer choosing accessories; wear a mask that either matches your outfit or contrasts with it in an appealing way. Try Etsy, Dolls Kill, Forever 21, d.Bleu.dazzled, Redbubble or Stylecaster for fun, festive and mostly feminine masks. If you’re looking for more masculine options, check out this GQ article. [gallery columns="6" link="file" ids="55774,55775,55773,55778,55810,55780,55776,55777,55833,55811,55834,55779"] Of course, these cartoon penis masks and vulva art facemasks are great comic erotic conversation-starters (though maybe not church or family gatherings!). Variety is the spice of life, sex and theater. Wearing the same mask every day is not only very unhygienic, it’s boring. Between utilitarian, fancy, romantic, scary, kinky and crazy, you can wear different masks to suit your varied moods… or perhaps seduce someone special. But please don’t throw your used facemasks out the car window! The Coronapocalypse is just another aspect of devastating climate change in the Anthropocene. Don’t make it worse by polluting the environment with your dirty old facemasks. Wash used masks or try facemasks like 4ocean, which are recyclable, and the support frames provide extra comfort. Masks in Asia Western cultures, with their focus on individual—and corporate—freedom mixed with scorn for “big government” and socialism, appear to have the most trouble persuading their citizens to wear a damn mask. Even though the idea that our leaders are trying to enslave us through facemasks is extremely illogical and unlikely (they have other ways…), it carries a lot of weight, especially in the United States, Brazil and Europe. In contrast, East Asian cultures tend to prioritize the welfare of the community over the freedom of the individual. In most Asian countries, wearing a facemask is a sign of discipline, respect and social responsibility, not weakness.I’d prefer everyone go naked… well, except for the face mask, right now, of course. Many East Asians have been masking up in public for years to protect themselves and others from airborne sickness and pollution. I imagine some of them also enjoy the psychological “protection” and anonymity masks provide for individuals in crowded public spaces. Maybe this is why, as of this writing, Asian death rates from COVID-19 are considerably lower than in the West. Masking Up for God Covering the bottom half of the face is popular in the Muslim world, but not because of the pandemic. In traditional Islamic culture, many women wear a veil that covers the whole face except for the eyes, such as the niqab or burqa. Westerners tend to think of the Muslim veil as oppressive, and it can be since it is often required nonconsensually, and only of women, rarely of men. Personally, I’m not a fan of any kind of cover-up, especially on so-called “moral” grounds. I’d prefer everyone go naked… well, except for the face mask, right now, of course. My views are based on philosophical as well as personal experience wearing a burqa. When I was 19, I went on a hippie-ish trek through Asia and, while wandering through the rather devout city of Kandahar, Afghanistan, a friendly shopkeeper gifted me with a burqa. I put it on over my clothes and continued my walk around the marketplace, only to collide with another burqa-clad lady and a fruit stand. Nobody was hurt, but the lady was pretty annoyed, I had to pay for a dozen damaged melons, and I never wore a burqa again. I felt like I was inside a smothering, billowing tent covering everything except for a small window for me to look through, and even that tiny opening was covered with a crisscross fabric, so I felt like I was trying to see through fishnet stockings. Not my style. Nevertheless, my research and experience as a sex therapist tells me that many women have no such impaired vision issues, and some are actually empowered by wearing the veil. It helps them to feel protected, in control, mysterious, special… and sexy! Some Muslim women tell me that they enjoy being able to choose with whom they share the special gift of their naked face. On the other side of the tent, many Muslim men say that seeing a veiled woman arouses them precisely because that which is hidden is enticing. It presents a question: What does she look like? And of course, they want to know the answer. I still don’t like that so many orthodox Muslim communities make women wear the veil for religious reasons—sometimes under pain of violent punishment. On the other hand, Islam isn’t the only religion to force its practices on its adherents. And in terms of the current question—How to Make Masks Sexy?—Westerners can learn a lesson from this undoubtedly sexist, but sometimes intriguingly sexy, Islamic custom. Takeaway: Wear your facemask like a veil that erotically empowers you.Need to talk about your experience with religious sexual abuse? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help. You won't go to hell for it. But you just might feel a lot better. Give us a call at 213.291.9497. The Eyes Have It Though a facemask should cover your mouth and nose—and often the chin and cheeks as well—it usually doesn’t cover your eyes. This can be key to making your mask sexy. As the “windows to the soul,” your eyes are your most powerful Weapons of Masked Seduction. You could think of your mask as a fan, “making eyes” over it, coquettishly. Whether you make “Smize” (“smiling eyes,” as coined by Tyra Banks), sultry “smokey eye,” cute puppy dog eyes, or squinty tough-guy eyes, you can communicate volumes without moving your lips. Speaking of lips, you don’t have to put on lipstick while wearing a mask… and you probably shouldn’t as it will smear in all the wrong ways (unless you’re wearing smear-proof). Some good news for folks who get tired of smiling through pain or boredom; you can relax your mouth muscles more with a mask on! But if you really want to be mask-sexy, you probably ought to step up your eyeliner, shadow, lashes, mascara, etc. routine. Unless you’re wearing dark goggles, your eyes tend to be visible. Careful about how you put on and remove your mask, or you might take off a false eyelash along with it (I’ve done that!). Masks So Scary They’re Sexy Yes, scary masks can be very sexy on the right person in an arousing scenario. Always keep things consensual and safe and try not to trigger traumatic memories with your masked fun and games. That said, a pinch of fear is like spice in your enchilada… though too much spoils the meat. So, what turns you on? Zombie sex worker? Frankenstein’s Bride? Sexy Freddy Kreuger? Gasmaskgirl? There are a million sexy monsters to choose from; just make sure your monster mask covers your nose.Scared of sex? The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help. Whether your fears are well-founded, pure paranoia or something in between, we can help. Give us a call anytime at 213.291.9497. The Plague Mask Perhaps the quintessential “scary mask” for the Coronapocalypse is the “Plague Mask.” Somewhere between sinister and magical, with an elongated, bird-like beak and large, circular eyeholes, sometimes framed by crystals, the “Plague Mask” was originally worn during the 17th century (not the Middle Ages, as many believe) to protect “plague doctors” from catching the disease that was killing their patients. The giant leather beak shielded the wearer’s mouth and nose, somewhat like a facemask, plus it was filled with fabric soaked in aromatic herbs that were supposed to ward off germs, but really just helped “mask” the stench of sickness and death. Even prior to the Coronapocalypse, some people wore stylized plague masks to parties, fetish balls and during kinky play. Now, they’re even more popular, in different colors with sexy embellishments like feathers and glitter. So… have yourself a ball! Though if you want to stay safe, wear a regular face mask under your plague mask. Fetish Masks Speaking of fetish balls, the mask has long been an important article of kinky clothing in the BDSM world. These range from a Mistress’ glittery party mask, such as those seen in old Lasse Braun loops or that ritual orgy in Eyes Wide Shut, to a slave’s full-coverage leather or latex bondage hood. Fetish masks of this kind have long been associated with kink, sexual fantasies and taboo trysts. They can be used to enhance sexual experiences and consensual power exchange, especially in roleplay, as punishment, reward or even just for style. Besides being kinky, fetish masks help to keep the wearers totally or somewhat anonymous and so, like the Carnavale masqueraders, they feel freer to express their true sexual selves. Traditional fetish masks aren’t always COVID-safe, but you can find sexy kinky facemasks for both protection and fun. Consider this sleek latex facemask, a more extreme hood, a leather neck corset that’s also a facemask or the classic gasmask (includes a drinking connection).Need to talk about your favorite fetish, with or without the mask? Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213.291.9497. Sensory Deprivation & Masked Kisses One ironic erotic benefit of masks is the way they enhance certain senses through sensory deprivation. For instance, if you’re blindfolded, your sense of hearing, touch and smell are enhanced. A face mask doesn’t deprive you of a particular sense in that way. However, there are two things you can’t do while wearing a facemask, and those are eating and drinking. This is, of course, a big inconvenience, but it has its benefits. Maybe it’ll help lower our society’s skyrocketing rates of obesity which, by the way, is a telltale “pre-existing condition” that makes obese Coronavirus patients more likely than others to die. That’s not meant to be “fat-shaming,” but to encourage people to provide a little less of an appetizing meal for these crowned critters to feast upon. Masks can be beautiful, mysterious and even romantic. A kiss through facemasks deprives the kissers of the taste and touch of each other’s tongues, thereby—via the *magic* of sensory deprivation—enhancing their sense of each other’s aroma. Such a tantalizing tease! Warning: Kissing through masks isn’t COVID-safe; it’s just a fun way for couples who are self-isolating together to connect while out and about. “Self-isolating together” has become a special kind of commitment, a “Love in the Time of Coronavirus” that is both more and less serious than marriage. My “prime mate,” Capt’n Max, and I are self-isolating together, but we wear masks when we’re around other people, and it feels very romantic to kiss “through” our masks. An image of a husband-and-wife team of nurses wearing masks, vizors, gloves and gowns as they embrace went viral (so to speak) early in the pandemic. Looking at it and seeing the love and romance combined with discipline and service that it conveys, still brings tears to my eyes.Make Masks Sexy! The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask. – Agatha Christie Why is it so important to “make masks sexy”? I’ll let someone who tweeted that I looked “immensely kinky” in my GasMaskGirl gas mask, answer that question, “Dr Susan if you can convince people to wear masks to prevent airborne contagion of Covid-19, you might have saved many lives.” It’s funny, but for some people, kink and sex are greater motivators than matters of life or death. If I can help reduce the spread of the dreaded virus by showing how sexy and kinky a face mask can be, I’m thrilled. Take It Off! Remember, masks are not forever. They’re not even for all day. There comes a time, in the course of a day or during a romantic relationship, when you take off the mask. Though I’ve been talking up how sexy masks can be, there’s no denying that taking off the mask can be even sexier. In the Coronapocalypse, it should also be very special, something you only do close-up with someone you trust, at a point when you know you are both COVID-free. In these masked-up times, removing your mask to expose your face (when you’re in a safe space) sexier than a striptease. But before you take it all off, be sure to put that sexy mask on. It just might save your (sex) life. © March 11, 2021. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For information and speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950. Email her at [email protected]. Editorial Assistance on this article provided by Adriana Gomez-WestonRead or Post Comments on this Article on Facebook Twitter One Twitter Two Need to talk? However you feel about masks, relationships and sex in the Coronapocalypse, you can talk to the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Call us anytime at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you. Read More |
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High Heel Phone Sex Therapy
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Call Us Now: [callus] Looking for High Heel Heaven? You’ve come to the right place… Do high heels get you hot? Does your temperature rise when a sexy vixen approaches you in 5-inch stilettos? Then again, maybe you prefer classic pumps or skyscraper sandals. Do you love it when your lover keeps her heels on during sex? Then again, perhaps you like to wear the heels yourself as you strut like a diva on the catwalk… Or do you have such a strong high heel fetish that you’d almost rather kiss, worship and play with the shoes themselves—with or without anybody wearing them? Whatever your personal fetish or fashion preference, our High Heeled Phone Sex Therapists are here to help anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, every day. For information, call [callus] What is it about high heels that drive you wild? Is it the shape of the shoe that excites you, its striking, curvaceous form? Is it the heel itself with a seductive spike, erect and titillating? Is it the way a pair of heels set off a womanly figure that makes your heart start to race? Do you prefer petite feet in Cinderella heels, or do you like a large pair of platform pumps towering over you like a monument to your desires? Do you feel that if “the clothes make the man, the shoe makes the woman?” Ever notice how a woman in a pair of classic pumps radiates style and confidence whether she’s flaunting power plays in the boardroom or bending over backwards in the bedroom? Maybe you’d even like to hump her pumps… Or would you rather kick classic to the curb and go for a long, tall pair of hooker heels (aka, stripper shoes)? Or do you long to throw convention to the wind and rock those heels yourself? Maybe you need a high-heeled mistress to “make” you wear high heels for her. Perhaps you’d like her to walk all over you, tease and do kinky things to you with different parts of those high heels—from pointed toe to dagger stiletto. Or would you rather dominate some sweet, vulnerable hottie in those teetering, fragile high heels? Do you love to inhale the aromatic combination of foot smell and fine shoe leather? Do you have difficulty communicating about your high-heeled desires with your partner or potential partners? Do you feel shame or anxiety over your shoe fetish?Whatever the nature of your interest in high heels, here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, we “get it,” and we’re here to talk with you about your high heeled pleasures and problems, answer your questions, advise you on your fetishes, and roleplay your fantasies. To enter High-Heeled Heaven or just talk to a High Heel Phone Sex Therapist right now, call [callus]. Read More |
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What Can We Talk About?
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You can talk with the telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute about anything you like. No topic is too taboo. Look over the lists of subjects below under "Sexual Issues" and "Erotic Pleasures," if you need some ideas. As you can see, there is quite a bit of overlap among the topics, and we deal with more subjects than we could possibly list. You may need to talk about several different subjects in one session. Perhaps you want to discuss some serious sexual issues in your life as well as enjoy an erotic phone sex fantasy. That’s fine and usually very beneficial to your sexual health in numerous ways. There are no limits on what you can discuss or how you and your therapist talk in your private telephone or webcam session. Though each one of our therapists doesn't specialize in every kind of subject, we have a large team working with the Institute, and we can almost always find a therapist suited to your specific needs and desires. And yes, you can masturbate, if you want, during telephone sex therapy sessions. And no, despite the proliferation of interesting options on the Internet and beyond, there is no other phone sex or phone therapy service quite like ours. Phone Sex Therapy Treatments & Lessons Learn Over 100 Ways to Enhance Your Sexual Life & Erotic Pleasures[one_half] Sexual Issues Understanding Your Sexual Nature and How to Live with It Exploring Your Erotic Fantasies How to Find the Lover of Your Dreams Understanding Your Partner’s Fantasies Dealing with Your Fears and Desires How to Express Your Erotic Nature How to Explore Your Sexual Fetish Erotically and Safely How to Share Your Fantasies with Your Partner How to Liberate Your Inner Bonobo Childhood Influences on Your Sexuality Relationships and Sex Families and Sex Work and Sex Politics and Sex Money and Sex Religion and Sex Art and Sex Cuckoldry Trust Issues Fear & Sex Sexual Wellness Religious Sexual Abuse How to Channel Erotic Inspiration How to Get What You Want In Sex, Love, Life and Death Orgasmic Fulfillment Orgasm Difficulties Masturbation Issues Masturbation Technique Mutual Masturbation Safe Sex in Dangerous Situations Ejaculation Control Erectile Difficulties “Sex Addiction” Body Image Issues Shyness Exploring the Clitoris Low Sexual Desire Dealing with Your Partner’s Low Sexual Desire Penis Size Concerns Enhancement of Arousal Virginity Issues Exploring Pain/Pleasure Dynamics How to Find the Erotic Elements in Everyday Life Dealing with Sexual Illness and Injury Sex and Physical Handicaps Trying “The Lifestyle” (Learning to Swing) How to Increase the Passion in Your Marriage Eros and Thanatos How to Develop Your Sexual Communication Skills How to Talk about Sex with a New Lover How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse How to Give Great Oral Sex What You Should Know About Dominatrixes What You Should Know About Prostitutes What You Should Know About Porn Stars How to Seduce the Lover of Your Dreams How to Lose Your Virginity Premature Ejaculation Different Sexual Positions for Different Pleasures Sexual Anatomy Lesson How to Deal with Extra-Marital Affairs Your Own or Your Partner’s How to Explore Your Feminine Side How to Explore Your Masculine Side Using Your Sexuality to Enhance Your Creativity Why Women Should Explore Phone Sex How to Explore Your Submissive Side How to Explore Your Dominant Side How to Find a Woman’s G–Spot How to Find a Man’s P–Spot How to Female Ejaculate How to Help Your Partner Experience Female Ejaculation Tantric Sex Techniques Pornography Issues How to Meet Mr. or Ms. Right How to Deal with Your Sexual Feelings toward Your Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Children, Next-Door-Neighbor, Co-Worker, Boss, Employee, Student, Teacher, Sister-in-Law, Brother-in-Law, Cousin, Aunt, Uncle or Other Inappropriate Object of Your Desire How to Recover from Incest Trauma How to Recover from Rape, Molestation and Other Negative Sexual Experiences How to Use Sex Toys Explore the Loss of Control Sex and the Stock Market Holiday Blues/Holiday Sex How to Break Away from a Toxic Lover How to Forget a Lost Love Advertising for Love in the Classifieds and on the Internet Gender Issues Body Shame Sex and Age Bisexuality Sex and Drugs Sex and Anti-Depressants Sex and Aphrodisiacs Dressing for Sex Undressing for Sex Sexercise for Sexual Health Circumcision Issues How to Conquer Your Sexual Phobias Finding the Pleasure in Your Life How to Share Sex Toys with Your Partner Sexual Meditation Erotic Relaxation Techniques How to be an Ethical Hedonist How to Practice the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure[/one_half][one_half_last]Erotic Pleasures How to Have Phone Sex Straight Phone Sex Lesbian Phone Sex Gay Phone Sex Bisexual Phone Sex Transsexual Phone Sex Threesome Phone Sex Cuckold Phone Sex Orgasmic Phone Sex Bukkake Phone Sex Kinky Phone Sex Scary Sex Intelligent Phone Sex Sensuous Phone Sex Romantic Phone Sex Personalized Phone Sex The "Girlfriend Experience" The "Porn Star Experience" Strip Tease Hot Girls Masturbation Fantasy Roleplay Hot Chat Fellatio Cunnilingus Fingering Erotic Teasing Bondage Hot Sexual Intercourse Doggy-Style Woman on Top Missionary Position Analingus (rimming) Anal Sex Goddess Worship Sadomasochism Bondage & Discipline Phone Bondage Swinging Dressing Up Abduction Fantasy Medical Fantasy Smoking Intruder Fantasy Leather Latex Lady Boys Rubber Fur Foot Fetish Water Sports Female Ejaculation Frottage Erotic Teasing Nipple Play Crossdressing Spanking Catfight Fantasy Domination Surrender Hot Dirty Nasty Talk Romance Lingerie Play High Heels Boots Stockings Pantyhose "She-Male" Fantasy Panties Jealousy Fantasies Underwater Sex Vibrator Play Dildo Play Butt Plug Play Group Sex Fantasy Slave Training Cuckold Fantasy Presidential Sex Genital Torture Exhibitionism Voyeurism Cannibal Fantasy Satanic Fantasy Infantile Fantasy Shoe Worship Interracial Sex Playing Doctor Beach Party Consensual Gangbang MILF Fantasy Celebrity Fantasy Girl Next Door Boy Next Door Horny Housewife Next Door Mother Fantasy Father Fantasy Childhood Fantasy Teenage Fantasy Rape Fantasy Hermaphrodite Fantasy Orgy Corsetry Muscle Woman Pregnant Fantasy Menage a Trois Flagellation Cum Fetish AutoFellatio Fantasy Felching Fantasy Food and Sex Shaved Genitals Shaved Bodies Animal Sex Fantasies Golden Showers Brown Showers Erotic Enemas Fisting Wet on Wet Queening Gag Fantasy Piercing Wrestling Fantasies Tantric Sex Play Weight Training Sensory Deprivation Sensory Enhancement Tickling Science Fiction Fantasies Vampire Fantasies Incest Fantasies Nurse Fantasies Tattoos Small Breasts Big Breasts Big Nipples Big Buns Beautiful Buns Tiny Tummy Big Tummy Pregnant Tummy Long Legs Shaved Vulva Hairy Vulva Big Penis Small Penis Humiliation Fantasy Big Balls Slut Training Shaved Penis and Balls Threesomes Block Party Multiple Orgasm Love Fantasy much, much more! 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