The Dr. Susan Block Institute


Need to Talk

about something you can't
talk about with anyone else?

You can talk to us.


Call 213-291-9497



We're Here for You 24/7

COUGAR SEXUALITY

Another Guide for the Perplexed

Dedicated to all the great Cougars of history and mythology who remind us that “mature” can be sexy, if we want it to be.

by Dr. Susan Block.

Do you like older women? Actually, do you just love older women?

Have you ever been intimate with a sexy, experienced female who happens to be a year or two—or maybe a couple of decades—older than you? Have you thought about it?

Have you ever fantasized about your sultry history teacher, a celebrity influencer or maybe that beautiful, sophisticated politician on TV? Or did your doctor give you some additional symptoms?

If you feel this way, you’re not alone. You just want to get with a Cougar.

Then again, maybe you are a Cougar, or you’d like to be one…

What’s a “Cougar”

First, let’s define our terms.  What do we mean by “Cougar”? No, we’re not talking about the wildcat. Though, it’s understandable if you’re fascinated by these majestic feline animals. Like pumas or panthers, American wildcat cougars are big, beautiful, powerful pussies who could possibly eat you alive, if they’re hungry.

Pussy Power

A human “Cougar” is a hot older woman who enjoys younger men—or women, or anyone else for that matter. The Cougar deliberately seeks out younger lovers for relationships and casual encounters, often acting as a sexual guide or teacher, based on her greater erotic experience.

Urban Dictionary defines a human Cougar as “an ‘older,’ experienced woman who happens to find herself in a sexual relationship (committed or not) with a younger man. She is not necessarily a slut, nor is she desperate. She offers sexual expertise and is open to new experiences…Though older, she may actually look younger than her ‘hook-up.’ She is attractive, confident, and just wants to have fun. She will not attempt to trap her mate into marriage, children or even an exclusive relationship. She is not interested in drama or games, as that would interfere with the pleasure she enjoys.

That’s a good definition of the ideal Cougar. Not all are quite so superlative. Some are “desperate.”  Some “play games.”

Cougars are human too—despite their formidable feline powers.

Just like in the wild, even the fiercest Cougar adores her playful cubs.

 

 

Nevertheless, they can be the most fabulous creatures on earth!

MILF vs. Cougar

Is a Cougar a MILF? Not necessarily. While a Cougar can be a MILF (Mother I’d Like to F*ck), a MILF is not always a Cougar. However, the two are often closely associated, and a woman can sometimes be both a MILF and a Cougar. Stifler’s Mom in American Pie comes to mind, or the notorious Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate. “Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?

In sexual parlance, the MILF serves as an object of desire. Her feelings are not as significant to her “MILF” status as the fact that she is a mother, and her sex appeal—her body, her style, that *look* she gives you when she asks you to mow her lawn. She herself may or may not be interested in sex; what makes her a MILF is that she looks and/or sounds sexy. Technically, the Virgin Mary could be a MILF, if you’re turned on by halos. Also, a MILF can be any age, older or younger than the MILF lover.

Cougars, on the other hand, are always older than their lovers. They also are, by definition, very interested in sex. Cougars deliberately seek out erotic encounters and relationships with younger partners. When they find someone they want, they might well pounce… like a cougar. Cougars can be MILFs, but some are child-free.  The significant factor that separates the Cougars from the MILFs—or anyone else—is their profound desire, coupled with confidence.

This is partly biological, as women tend to reach their sexual “prime” in their late thirties—mid-forties, which is also prime Cougar time. But not every woman 35-45 is a Cougar. That takes a special kind of prowess. Not only do you have to be sexy enough to attract younger lovers, bold enough to approach them and energetic enough to keep up with them, you also have to handle rejection gracefully. No matter how irresistible your magic mirror says you are, not every potential young lover wants to be your cub. Though you can comfort and re-energize yourself with the knowledge that there are plenty out there who do.

Is a Cougar a “Hot Wife“? Possibly, but not necessarily. If she’s married, perhaps to an older man who can’t keep up with her sexually, she might cuckold him with a young cub (with or without his knowledge), and then she’d be a Hot Wife.

But Cougars can also be single, polyamorous or some category of their own ingenious invention.

Are YOU a Cougar?

Do you prefer younger lovers? Do you feel younger than your chronological age?

Madonna 2021 is the Quintessential Cougar.

Is great sex important to you? Is it more important than what other people think?

Have you noticed partners your own age just can’t keep up with you—in bed, on the dance floor, in the great outdoors or anywhere?

Are you a sexually experienced woman unashamed of your “past,” but excited to share what you’ve learned with others?

Are you unafraid to pursue what you want? Can you handle the “no” word? Can you take a joke?

Are you fairly independent? Those wildcat cougars tend to be solitary creatures that mostly socialize when they seek a mate. Human Cougars aren’t antisocial—not at all—but they do tend to be self-reliant.

Can you relate (at least sometimes) to current youth culture and music?

Would you be comfortable with paying for dates and other things? If they were worth it, would you be someone’s “Sugar Mama”?

Are you young at heart and open for adventures you can’t even imagine?

If your answer is “yes” to half those questions, you’re a Cougar!

Or, you could say, you’re “Cougar Sexual.” Or maybe “Cougarsexual.”  Kind of like “pansexual” or “sapiosexual,” but with the focus on the mature female (of any gender, really; I know some feminine—but not trans—gay men who consider themselves Cougars) who take younger lovers.

Little did young Massimo know he had entered the den of a Cougar and her cubs, but soon enough, he became her favorite.

Warning: When I say “younger,” I’m not talking under-age, of course. No jailbait please!  Obviously, that’s illegal, unethical and all kinds of wrong. All “cubs” must be over 18. If you’re not sure, ask to see an ID… before you’re in bed. Seriously, you can’t be too careful. When in doubt, bow out.

Cougarsexuality is more socially acceptable than ever in civilized history, but with equal opportunity comes equal responsibility. Irresponsible Cougars who are caught going after underage teen students are being prosecuted and receiving hefty prison terms. They also have the words “sex offender” stamped on their record like a modern day “Scarlet Letter.”

It’s not just about age, it’s also about consent. You’re a human Cougar, not a ravenous mountain cat, so make sure your *prey* is at least somewhat interested before you pounce.

One of the Cougar’s most appealing qualities is that she tends to take the lead. A lot of people love to be chased by attractive pursuers, men included—especially men, as men are so rarely chased! Nevertheless, don’t take the so-called *predator* role of real cougars as your model.

And no pouncing on actual students or patients of yours, dear teachers, professors and fellow doctors! Though roleplay can be a fantastic way to fulfill these common but taboo sexual fantasies.

This might sound like a lot of restrictions for a human wildcat. Nevertheless, the world can be your proverbial oyster if the object of your desire is of legal age, doesn’t involve “exploitation” of your professional position and isn’t your best friend’s son… well, maybe your best friend’s son (if over 18) would be okay. Then again, probably not.

Choose wisely, Madame Mountain Cat!

Are You a Cub?

No, I’m not talking about Chicago baseball, though you might be playing a game that involves your bat and balls.

Basically, if you’re attracted to Cougars, you’re a “cub,” the older cat’s younger, playful, adorable companion.

Of course, the actual wildcat’s cub is her own offspring, while a human Cougar isn’t her cub’s real mother… at least not usually, though it’s a common fantasy, as evidenced by the extreme popularity of my friend Kay Parker (who played the Mom, Barbara Scott, in the notorious film Taboo).

Cubs can be male, female, trans or gender-fluid. However, most of the time, cubs are men, though they might feel and act like boys—or “boy toys”—around their Cougar.

In terms of kink, a cub could be dominant or submissive to his Cougar.

Unless the cub is a very low-level slave to a Cougar Domme, the erotic feelings tend to be mutual. Just like in the wild, even the fiercest Cougar adores her playful cubs.

Most sexual fetishes and preferences stick with you for a lifetime, but for many people, desiring a Cougar or cub could be a temporary phase.  For instance, a man might prefer Cougars in his teens and twenties, but then settle down in his thirties to have a family with a woman his own age or younger. A woman might marry an older man; then after she’s widowed or divorced, she could come out as a Cougar.  She might stay a Cougar the rest of her life or, after a few flings with cubs, go back to being with older guys.

The fact that wanting or being a Cougar or cub is often a temporary phase isn’t, in and of itself, a good or bad thing. However, it’s something to keep in mind when one of you seems to be more serious about a long-term relationship than the other.

Why Cougars Attract Cubs

The most popular Cougar quality is her sexual experience and the fact that the cub can learn from that experience.

Many young men are unsure about what to do to please a woman, as well as how to stay hard, bring up a fetish or fantasy, try new positions, or just relax and enjoy themselves, and a good Cougar can help them with all of that. They can also be embarrassed to tell a woman what arouses them. A good Cougar can draw them out and, thanks to her experience, she tends to have a good idea of what positions, techniques, fantasies and “dirty talk” turn her partners—and her—on.

A sexual relationship with an experienced Cougar can be like enrolling in a college of carnal knowledge where you’re majoring in your sexuality. You can *be yourself* with your Cougar, as she isn’t so easily shocked, though, like any teacher, she usually demands respect from her student.

Young Cub Massimo calls Cougar Myria while she’s onstage… with another Cub!

My husband Max (Massimo in Italian) often says he was “raised” by Cougars. He was first approached by a beautiful older woman when he was a very handsome but rather shy teenager hanging out on the beach in Genoa, Italy. In her late thirties (twice his age!), Angelina took young Massimo to her palatial cabana where dozens of other young men were lounging around, drinking and smoking. Little did young Massimo know he had entered the den of a Cougar and her cubs, but soon enough, he became her favorite.

Alas for Angelina, things change quickly in the life of a cub, and within a few weeks, young Massimo was onto Cougar #2. Myria Selva, renowned Italian actress, seduced him while he was waiting on her table at the restaurant by the Eleanora Duce State Theater where she was starring in a play. Later, Myria got Massimo a part in that play, he moved in with her and her two chihuahuas, and the young cub learned everything his Cougar could teach him about sex, romance, women and the theater. Myria passed away in 2013, but I know she will live forever in Massimo’s heart as that remarkable older woman who guided him onto a path of joyous sexuality, feminine beauty, fantastic theater and great erotic art.

Besides sexual maturity, a Cougar’s experience often brings emotional maturity, almost always a bonus in an adult relationship. A Cougar’s sexual confidence is one of her most alluring qualities. Cougars tend to be independent and not as needy as young drama queens, nor are they as likely to exact revenge if things don’t work out.

 

Ben Franklin Loved Cougars!

Don’t just take my word for it. Ask America’s greatest Founding Father, Benjamin Franklin who, in Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress), gives several reasons why more mature women make better lovers than younger ones.

Ben Franklin surrounded by French Cougars and a few cubs at the Court of Versailles.

Some of these “reasons” are rather sexist and dated, but others are timeless, like:

“Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.”

“Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion.”

“Lastly, they are so grateful!”

Ben goes on at greater length, with flourish. According to historic accounts, he really did like Cougars (especially the European *breed*) and is rumored to have had affairs with several and probably could have written The Cougar Almanac for Young American Cubs at Home and Abroad.

Cougar Problems

Of course, not all Cougars are wonderful, discreet, experienced, ideal sex teachers. After all, as Capt’n Max often says, the ideal is the enemy of the real.

A Cougar could be inexperienced; perhaps trapped in a sexless marriage for 20 years before she makes a break and finds a younger lover. A Cougar could be immature, mean and rather ungrateful. Rich widow Cougars are more likely to be that way… but they make up for it—sometimes—by financing your wardrobe, meals and art projects.

For any rule, there are always exceptions—especially when it comes to love and sex.

From the Cougar’s viewpoint, life isn’t always a bed of roses—with the perfect cub in the middle—either. At least, not without thorns. All real roses have thorns.

Then there’s the perverse little matter of social customs. Though a Cougar’s confidence and experience are her greatest, sexiest strengths, they can also be a kind of curse, intimidating people who are comfortable with more traditional gender roles.

Times are a’changing, but the double standard remains. Men still usually pair up with younger women—both in real life and on screen, for casual sex and serious relationships—and as men grow older, very often their female partners get even younger, especially if the men are successful. Well, that’s capitalism for you!

Though inconsistent and often unfair itself, the #MeToo movement is moving society towards a more critical view of such pairings where the guy’s a lot older than the gal, as well as a more open attitude to the Cougar/cub relationship. Nevertheless, for the most part, the majority of human societies accept a man dating or marrying a woman four decades younger than him as *normal.* In contrast, if a woman is just a few years older than her male partner, it’s often considered quite scandalous, or at least taboo.

In part, this is due to biology; women usually can’t bear children past their forties, which is when Cougar’ing often gets in gear—while men (usually with a little help from Viagra) can technically reproduce until they’re flatlined. So, men *should* desire younger women, and women *should* be attracted to older men (who can presumably provide for their inevitable children), at least according to evolutionary psychology which says we are all driven by reproduction.

Perhaps, but that drive to reproduce doesn’t always translate into actually reproducing. Not everybody wants to have biological children, and in our human-heavy world, being “child-free” can be a good thing for the individual and society. Sometimes that “drive to reproduce” that we all innately possess is channeled into great art, service to humanity, romance, adventure and/or awesome Cougar sex.

 

Smoking Hot Cougar Madonna-and Cub Ahlamalik

 

So… what’s the big deal?

The “big deal” is tradition, religion, repression, patriarchy and paranoia. These are some of the ancient sources for the societal messages that whisper, sing and shout at us that a mature woman with a younger man is an abomination, a sin, an embarrassment, a disaster or just plain wrong.

So, whether you’re the Cougar or the cub, don’t be surprised if your friends and family—not to mention your church, temple, therapist and most of pop culture—try to dissuade you from this path. It is not for the weak… though it makes you weak in the knees.

As of this writing, pop icon Madonna (aged 62) is being dragged on social media as “distasteful” for showing PDA (public displays of affection) with her 27-year-old boyfriend, Ahlamalik Williams. One commenter said, “It is sad to see that Madonna can’t age with grace [and] is trying to act younger.”

Would the same be said about a man of Madonna’s age with a woman of Ahlamalik’s age?

And what exactly does it mean to “age with grace”? To confine your playtime to grandchildren, your skirts to below-the-knee, your hair to silver-grey and your sex life to nonexistent?

Perhaps, another way to “age with grace” is to be an elegant erotic guide to eager young students of sex.

Of course, Madonna gets more than her share of “Go Girl!” comments too; she’s Madonna! And part of what makes Madonna “Madonna!” is her ability to transcend the haters and just do what she wants, and that includes taking lovers (and husbands) who are almost always younger than her (see below).

So, if you’re confident, sexy and energetic like Madonna—or like YOU—you’ve got what it takes to assume the title of Cougar.

Cub & Cougar: French President Emmanuel Macron & First Lady Brigitte Trogneux Macron.

With a little luck, your cub could even be elected President of France! When Brigitte Trogneux Macron first began seeing Emmanuel Macron, they met in secret; their love was so forbidden. Not only was she 25 years older than him, but she was also his high school drama teacher. Despite the stigma, they persevered, fell more deeply in love, and eventually came out to their families and the world. Now Emmanuel is President of France and Brigitte is First Lady. Talk about a cub/Cougar power couple. Rowl!

Cougar by Numbers

Though the Cougar/cub combo is still considered taboo, the numbers are growing, even for long term relationships.

The amount of marriages where the woman is five to ten years older than her spouse is small (5.4 percent and 1.3 percent, respectively), but they have doubled between 1960 and 2007, according to census data.

It’s cool to “go your own way,” but there’s strength—and respect—in numbers, and the numbers are running with the Cougars!

Looking to talk with sexually mature woman who can teach you a thing or two about sex? We’re available anytime. Call us now at 213.291.9497.

 

 

Some Cougar History

Honored and maligned, beloved and despised, mature women have been taking younger lovers throughout history and probably prehistory as well.

Pure Cub/Cougar Love: Adonis & Aphrodite

Cougars also appear in ancient mythology. One of the earliest mythological and most famous Cougars of all time is Aphrodite (Venus to the Romans), Greek Goddess of Love, Sex and Beauty who has many younger lovers—including her own son, Eros! But her favorite mortal cub is Adonis, so handsome, other gods and goddesses fall for him as well, though Aphrodite is, was and always will be his great immortal Cougar love. According to legend, the Goddess of Love’s favorite cub never grows old. Adonis dies young, killed by a wild boar sent by jealous Artemis, Virgin Goddess of the Hunt, but the young cub’s love for his Cougar Aphrodite remains eternally strong.

The Greek playwright Euripides displayed a less sanguine view of Cougars, cubs and cuckolds in Hippolytus (428 BCE), the tragedy of Phaedra, beautiful wife of famed hero Theseus who falls in love with her stepson, Hippolytus, who most vehemently does not love her back, resulting in terrible fates for the whole family. If you’re looking for inspiration to explore the Cougar life—or that of the cub or cuckold (Theseus is the paranoid cuckold)—do NOT read Hippolytus!

My French teacher made us read Jean Racine’s version of Phaedra (en français, s’il vous plaît) in my junior year—when I was a bit of a Cougar as I was dating a sophomore—and honestly, it disturbed me so much, I never took another French class. Though I love France!

Cougar Diane de Poitiers, portrayed as Venus, with her cub, King Henri II of France, as Mars. Detail from 16th century fresco.

Speaking of France, one of the greatest Cougars in history was Diane de Poitiers (1499-1566), mistress of the French King Henry II. When she was 35, the beautiful, bold, charming and athletic Diane seduced the teenage Prince Henry. This would be considered statutory rape now, and even then, though not illegal, it was unusual. Nevertheless, they fell in love, and when Henry was crowned King, Diane de Poitiers became a powerful royal mistress, lasting even through the King’s official marriage to Catherine de Medici (who is said to have invented high heels—possibly so she could look her rival in the eye). Besides being the Queen of French Cougars before anyone called them “Cougars,” Diane was an “influencer” B.I.G. (Before Instagram), posing for the finest painters of the time with her cub the King, her beloved horses, suggestive stags and symbols of France, as well as delightfully nude.

Russian Empress Catherine the Great loved to ride horses with her lovers, but no, her horse was NOT one of her lovers.

Catherine the Great (1729-1796) ruled 18th century Russia for three progressive decades and enjoyed at least a dozen different lovers, most of them younger than her. She started by cuckolding her husband Peter III, and picked up speed as a Cougar after his death. Catherine “loved to be in love,” especially with younger swashbuckling soldiers. Her most famous cub was Prince Grigory Potemkin who, as he grew older, encouraged his Empress to take even younger lovers. But no, though she was a great equestrian, and rumors abound, there’s no proof that Catherine the Great ever had sex with her horse.

One of the most notorious Cougars of the 20th century was the sultry Mae West. Though Mae reigned over a revolving stable of real-life cubs (in her later years, it was part of her act), she also had a long-time lover, the handsome Paul Novak, who was 30 years her junior. Beyond her inner circle, there were all her younger fans—virtual cubs—including the late great producer of most of my HBO specials, Dave Bell. Though I was already pretty bawdy, Dave encouraged me to model my on-screen *character,* in part, on Mae’s seductive, witty, older-womanly persona.

 

Mae was the ultimate Cougar/comedienne, and unlike most comics of yesteryear, her jokes are still funny. Like a fine wine or *well-preserved* veteran of multiple love affairs, some of Mae’s witticisms have grown wittier with age:

Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

A hard man is good to find.

When I’m good I’m very, very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.

 

“Cougar” Term Origins

Despite their powerful, undeniable *influence,* nobody called these bold older ladies who take younger lovers “Cougars” until the 1980s when, urban legend has it, the term “Cougar” entered our erotic lexicon through “locker room talk.”

Sam & Smith have Cougar “Sex in the City”

Apparently, the Vancouver Canucks hockey team, when teasing each other about the mature female fans on the prowl for players, referred to these older ladies as “Cougars.”  In 1999, Cougardate was launched online, and Toronto Sun journalist Valerie Gibson wrote a story about it in 2001 which, in 2008, became a book, Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men.

In 2003, Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrell) and Smith Jerrod (Jason Lewis) embarked upon a steamy and very intimate long-term romance in “Sex and the City.” A few years later, the TV sitcom Cougar Town (2009-2015) followed the exploits of a divorced MILF (Courtney Cox), often shown sipping a glass of red wine. A sultry mom of a teenage son who dates younger men, this Cougar winds up marrying her divorced same-age neighbor. Meanwhile, on the high seas, Carnival Cruise line ran a “Cougar Cruise” that drew over 300 attendees, but apparently, it was too Carnivalesque for Carnival.

But the Cougar Party isn’t over!

Are you looking to explore some memories or fantasies of the Cougar on your mind? You can talk to the Therapists Without Borders who are eager to speak with you. Give us a call at 213.291.9497.

Celebrity Cougars

With the advent of the Feminist and Sexual Revolution in the 1960s and 70s, and progressive, sex-positive movements, and the general decline in religiosity over the last four decades, there has been greater social acceptance of older women dating younger men, and celebrities are at the forefront of this transformation.

Celebrities are the gods, goddesses and empresses of our times, so it’s no wonder Celebrity Cougars are on the prowl like Aphrodite or Cate the Great. Though it could just as easily be the young Adonis—or Potemkin—“cub” that takes the lead, as in the case of super hunk Jason Momoa who fell head over heels for Lisa Bonet from his living room TV set, watching her on the old Cosby Show when he was a kid in Hawaii. He even told his own mother, “Mommy I want that one,” even though (or because) she was (and still is!) a dozen years his senior. Soon enough, young Jason grew up (and boy, did he grow) and pursued his dream. Sometimes, celebrity crushes are best left in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, but sometimes dreams come true, and cub Jason and Cougar Lisa are now married (together over 14 years) with a beautiful blended family.

In the early 2000s, Demi Moore and 15-years-younger Ashton Kutcher’s Cougar/cub marriage brought the term to the forefront of pop culture, though Demi said she prefers to be called a “Puma.” Technically, a “Puma” is supposed to be in her thirties, while Demi was in her forties at the time, but who’s counting? Whichever wildcat you prefer, following her rather tempestuous split with cub Ashton (who married the five-years-younger Mila Kunis), Demi has since dated other younger men.

There’s also Heidi Klum, 16 years older than Tom Kaulitz; Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana (she’s nine years older); Kate Beckinsale and Goody Grace (24 years difference); Lesbian Cougar Ellen Degeneres and her “cubbette” wife Portia de Rossi (15 years apart); Priyanka Chopra who is 10 years older than Nick Jonas; Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade, (they have a decade between them); Sam Taylor-Wood (54) and Aaron Taylor-Johnson (30); Selling Sunset reality personalities Mary Fitzgerald and Romain Bonett (12 years apart); Hugh Jackman and Deborah Lee-Furness, (13 years apart), and the Cougar/cub list goes on.

I also consider Meghan and Prince Harry to be Cougar and cub; she’s three years older than him, which isn’t much, but it’s another little tweak of British royal tradition. Though it follows a different facet of that same tradition, since Harry’s great grand-uncle, King Edward VIII, married another controversial American divorcee, the notorious Cougar Wallis Simpson, two years older than the King who abdicated the throne for her.

Did the Cub Prince catch a Cougar? Or did the Cougar catch the Prince?

No doubt, if there was a Ms. Cougar Pageant, there would be a lot of competition, but Madonna, the quintessential Cougarsexual Material Girl, would probably take the crown. She’s had older boyfriends like Warren Beatty (which may have been a Dick Tracy PR play), but she is famous for her “boy toys,” praised and pilloried whenever their photogenic PDAs appear. She started her Cougarsexual adventures with model Tony Ward (five years younger), then dated (to name just a few) Tupac, David Blaine, Vanilla Ice, Dennis Rodman, Anthony Kiedis, Sean Penn and Guy Ritchie (she married these two cubs), Alex Rodriguez, and the youngest cubs, Brahim Zaibat, Timor Steffens and most recently, kissable smokable Ahlamalik Williams.

She pulls it all off with flair. Madonna makes the Cougar life seem downright in Vogue.

The Legend of Cougar Liz Warren

Could the feisty U.S. Senator from Massachusetts be a Cougar?

While running for President, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren suddenly found herself in the midst of a three-ring media circus casting her as the ferocious “Cougar” in the center ring. It all started when the goofball grifter team of Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman, a couple of far-right tRump supporters and notorious “sexual assault” fraudsters, held a bizarre, quasi-kinky and laughably sanctimonious press conference, elaborately accusing Senator Warren of the high *crime* of Cougarsexuality.

The leading man of their slapstick project, Kelvin Whelly, a 25-year-old, “decorated,” hunky, but not-too-sure-of-his-script Marine/escort/cub, claimed he was Liz’s BDSM sex slave or Master or whatever (where’s that script?) for $1000 a visit, more or less, plus tips and Uber rides. After allegedly connecting through a Cougar/cub dating site called “Cowboys for Angels,” he said they met in various hotels for “not just rough sex, but extensive BDSM play” and other “deviant sexual activities” with a “cat o’ nine tails” (which he procured from Amazon, “as we all do”) and “a lime green strap-on dildo (bringing to mind a disturbing image of Sean Spicer in Dancing with the Stars).” Lacking proof or coherency, poor Whelly and Wohl’s “case” collapsed like a limp cowboy.

However, if Elizabeth Warren really was or is a kinky cougar wielding a cat o’ nine tails and a strap-on dildo of any color on a hunky twenty-something cub, well, more power to her.

Go Cougars!

I especially appreciate Liz herself tweeting a snappy response to the accusations, establishing herself as America’s Queen of Shade (at least for that media cycle), slapping the douchebags down, making a titillating little pun, and staying on point with her “plan” for canceling student debt: “It’s always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it.”

Go Cougars!

Hello Cougar Sally Mullins

If you have a slightly “dirty” mind like me, you’re probably wondering if there’s a porn parody of the Boston Cougar, maybe “Jizz on Liz” or “Whorin’ for Warren.” Well, wonder no more:  “Hello Cougar” comedienne, frequent DrSuzy.Tv guest and multiple SUZY award winner, Sally Mullins, aka porn star Jamie Foster, pounced on it. Her uncanny resemblance to Elizabeth Warren, dressing and acting the part in films like Scorin’ with Warren, makes her the perfect Liz Warren Porn Parody Doppleganger.

You can also see Sally as Liz on The Dr. Susan Block Show broadcast live just before the Coronapocalypse: First, we talk politics and beer (Corona, of course), but then I just have to strip the Senator down and book-spank her naughty bare bottom with The Bonobo Way to make her feel the Bern for how she treated Bernie. Watch Cougar Liz Warren Does DrSuzy.Tv.

Unlike Liz, Sally Mullins is a proud real-life cougar. Blonde and bawdy as a modern-day Mae West, we met Sally in 2017 on Kink Month III: Night of the Cougar, when she was our featured guest promoting her “Hello Cougar” show that showcased her erotic encounters with cubs. She came back to Bonoboville for Cougar Kink to promote “Cookin’ 4 Pussy,” in which potential suitors would whip up something delicious for her in exchange for sex… if she likes what they cook, or maybe how they cook it.

On Cougar Equinox, we delved deeper into Sally’s quirky CougarSexuality—exploring how, as porn star Jamie Foster, she lives her Cougar fantasies to the sexual fullest—and we give cute cubbette Sunshine a bare-bottom OTK (over-the-knee) spanking over all four of our knees.

Sally enjoys her Cougar lifestyle for a number of reasons, not least of which is that it provides a constant source of comedy for her show. Laughter is a mental orgasm, after all.

She also likes the regular orgasms that come with the Cougar life. The “mature woman” of Ben Franklin’s wet dreams, Sally seems to genuinely appreciate the sexual energy and drive of younger men, and the fact that they don’t try to control her very free spirit (as older guys tend to do), at least not outside the bedroom—where she kind of likes to be controlled.

Now she hunts for her “prey” online, as well as everywhere else. She’s also picked up a few younger guys right here in Bonoboville, not that that’s a huge challenge.

Bonobo Cougars

Cougarsexuality is very bonoboësque. Indeed, the Make-Love-Not-War bonobos empower the older females—sexually and otherwise—more than any other great ape culture.

Bonobo Cougars rule Bonoboville.

 

Along with common chimpanzees, bonobos are the closest Great Apes to human.

But while common chimps are patriarchal with older females being at the bottom of the hierarchy, among bonobos, the mature females are at the top, in charge, respected and usually beloved by all.

They’re almost all mothers, so you could call them MILFs—and I often do!  They’re also Cougars, as these mature bonobo females also tend to be bold and confident in their pursuit of younger partners (male and female) and, of course, they love sex.

Indeed, Bonobo Cougars rule Bonoboville.

Based on their greater experience, the older females impart their erotic wisdom to the younger generations. Not only do Bonobo Cougars teach their younger lovers how to have sex in a Bonobo Sutra of positions, they also teach them to how to use sex to make “peace through pleasure.”

It’s amazing! Bonobos are the only Great Apes that have never been seen killing each other in the wild or captivity, in part, because Bonobo Cougars are in charge of life in Bonoboville.

I often say that that we humans would be better off if we could release our inner bonobos and follow the Bonobo Way, not just because we’d have more fun in life, but because bonobos hold the keys to a world without war. Cougarsexuality is one of those keys.

Cougar Power

From glittering palaces to wild jungles, Cougars are everywhere.

If you’ve really read this far (and didn’t just skip to the bottom), congratulations! You’re now a Cougar/cub sexpert.

If you still have questions about finding or being a Cougar, concerns about your Cougar/cub relationship, an interest in phone sex therapy, or you’d just like to explore a Cougar fantasy in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, perhaps through erotic hypnosis, guided masturbation or webcam therapy, call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213.291.9497. Where you’re a Cougar, cub or just curious, we’re here for you.

Want to Read Some Reader Comments about Cougar Sexuality? Or Post Your Own Comment? Click These Links:
Cougar Sexuality on Facebook
Twitter One
Twitter Two

© May 27. 2021 Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

GANGBANG Phone Sex Therapy

11.9

by Dr. Susan Block.

Are you thinking about gangbangs?

Do you ever fantasize about multiple men having sex with one woman? Do you imagine your wife, lover or favorite celebrity at the center of the action?  Would you want it to be with your friends or strangers? Have you ever participated in a gangbang? Would you like to try it?

Do you need to talk about it?

Being aroused by the idea of participating in a consensual gangbang is normal and a lot more common than you might realize.  You may want to act on your desire, or you may not. Regardless, though gangbangs and all forms of group sex are taboo in most modern human societies—and no one should ever take part in a nonconsensual gangbang—they remain part of our prehistoric primate heritage. Indeed, gangbangs have been going on since the dawn of humanity, for thousands of years before the concepts of monogamy and even fatherhood came into understanding.

curls2_90

Need to talk privately about gangbangs, group sex, swinging, cuckolding or any other form of recreational sex? call the world’s foremost experts, the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Our team of highly qualified sex therapists, sex life coaches, fantasy roleplay performers, sexual psychodrama facilitators, erotic hypnotherapists and kink specialists are here for YOU anytime you need to talk.

Whether you want to better understand your own feelings and desires, act them out in real life, learn how to share them with your partner, work through past experiences, hear about our own experiences with gangbangs, or explore a fantasy over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here for you. Call 213-291-9497.

curls90


Why Do You Love Gangbangs?

Many gangbang enthusiasts are worried that their interest in gangbangs, threesomes “The Lifestyle” and other forms of group sex makes them “weird.” If that sounds like you, rest assured you’re not weird.

Human sexual history, in fact, is loaded with various kinds of group sex, including gangbangs. Unfortunately, much of it—way too much of it—has been by force, most notably and tragically during wartime. Unfortunately, when Hollywood movies, such as The Accused, depict gangbangs, though they don’t show genitalia like porn, they almost invariably show the horrible, nonconsensual kind.

However, some of the group sex that’s been going on since hunter/gatherer times has been consensual and a great pleasure, as well as a profoundly meaningful experience, for all involved. That includes gender-balanced swing parties, same sex orgies, one male with a “harem” of females, as well as one female having sex with multiple men.

Small banners 8

So, there’s nothing new about group sex, including gangbangs. What is *new* is that the Internet allows us to learn more about what other people do than ever before in human history. Moreover, if we want, we can *hook up* with people who share our desires—including the desire to watch or partake in a good gangbang.

Search “gangbang” in google, and you’ll see megatons of gangbang porn, and the great majority appears to be enthusiastically consensual. According to PornHub.com, which received 42 billion visits in 2019, “threesome” was the 13th most popular search term and “gangbang” was the 19th most popular, putting both in the top 20.

But why is this? Aren’t we supposed to want to be with just one special lover? Why would sharing lovers with others turn us on?

 

Sperm Wars & the Upsuck Effect

The “Sperm Wars” phenomenon—where the womb becomes a battleground for sperm that fight like armies or football teams to get one of their sperm (the proverbial football) to the egg first—gives us a biological explanation of why gangbangs are so popular.

Studies show that a man’s sperm count tends to rise when competition to fertilize the egg of his wife or girlfriend appears to be high. Whether the man really has genuine rivals who are having sex with his partner or it’s just in his vivid imagination, his brain sends a message to his testicles that says, “Send in the army!” or “We need the whole football team, including reinforcements, for this game!”

In other words, “Make more sperm!”

Whether he’s excited and happy about the competition or jealous and angry, this phenomenon tends to give a man a stronger erection and a more explosive ejaculation. Of course, it’s better for everyone concerned if he’s more glad than mad, but that does explain why jealous, angry lovemaking or “makeup sex” can be so arousing for some people, despite their better judgment.

Conversely, sperm counts often decline in the routine sex of monogamous relationships, no matter how intimate and loving. Since the element of competition is missing, the brain’s message to the balls is, “You don’t need the whole football team to score this goal since there’s no rival team on the field. Conserve your resources and just send in a few runners.”

The shape of the human penis gives us another clue as to why gangbangs are so popular. A study by Gordon Gallup and coworkers (2003) concluded that one evolutionary purpose of the thrusting motion characteristic of intense intercourse is for the penis to “upsuck” another man’s semen before depositing its own. Thus a man’s urge to thrust, through intercourse or masturbation, is often enhanced by the presence of another man or several men, whether real or fantasized.

 

A Galaxy of Gangbangs

There are many different kinds of gangbangs.

There’s the beach party gangbang, a birthday gangbang, a soft-swing gangbang that involves outercourse instead of intercourse. It could be a spanking gangbang, a cuckold gangbang, an oral or an anal gangbang.

In terms of the participants, there’s the classic one-woman-with-a-male-gang scenario—and then there’s anything else that turns you and you partner(s) on.

11.9

Maybe you’re a man who longs to be gangbanged by other men, or perhaps by a group of women sporting strap-ons or squirting all over you.

Most men who imagine such scenarios don’t dare express their feelings, not to other men nor to the women in their lives, for fear of being humiliated… even if “humiliation” is part of the fantasy.

curls2_90

Need to talk about it privately with someone who understands? Call us at 213.291.9497.

curls90

 

Consent is Essential

As with any type of sexual activity, the most important element of a gangbang is consent. Fantasy gangbangs can involve whatever turns you on, but any real-life gangbang should require enthusiastic consent from all participants, especially the recipient, the person (usually, but not always, a female) who is at the center of the gangbang.

Otherwise, it’s a gang rape. Even if that turns you on in fantasy, it’s not something to ever participate in reality.

Block Institute Director Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

Institute Director Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

Keep in mind that, for many reasons, feelings of consent can change over the course of a few minutes or hours. So, it’s important to continually “check in” with the recipient to make sure she or he is “all right,” happy and eager for more.

At the first sign of reluctance on the part of the recipient, no matter how turned on everybody else is, the gangbang must stop.

Whether or not the gangbang is a success, it’s important to provide “after care,” especially to the recipient. This could take the form of hugs, drinks, food, help cleaning up, words of appreciation, a massage or whatever the recipient enjoys.

curls2_90

Need advice preparing your next gangbang soirée?
We’ll help you to make sure it’s a success for all concerned.
Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

curls90


Are You a Cuckold?

Cuckold” is an old English term for a man whose wife (often called a “hotwife”) has sex with other men (called “bulls”). In the 21st century, there has been a resurgence of interest in the cuckold’s predicament, cuckold sex, cuckold fantasies, cuckold erotica, hot wives, big bulls, sperm wars and the cuckold lifestyle.

There’s also the cuckold gangbang, when the hotwife has sex with several bulls at one time. The gangbang may or may not include the cuckold himself.

There are many types of cuckolds: Submissive Cuckolds, Dominant Cuckolds, Sissy Cuckolds, Fantasy Cuckolds, Sapiosexual Cuckolds, Interracial Cuckolds, Small-Cock Cuckolds, Bi-Curious Cuckolds, Swinger Cuckolds, Spanked Cuckolds, Cuckolds-in-Bondage, Cuckolds-in-Chastity, Director Cuckolds, Cuckold Voyeurs, Cuckold Exhibitionists, Cheated-On Cuckolds, Trans Cuckolds, Reluctant Cuckolds, Humiliated Cuckolds, Happy Cuckolds and many more varieties.

cuckold2

Along with the growing popularity of cuckolding, there has been a growing acceptance of it as a “normal” sexual interest, even if it’s enhanced with a gangbang, as long as it’s all consensual.

Nevertheless, many men feel ashamed of their desire to be cuckolded, perhaps especially if it involves a gangbang. Such men tend to feel a whole lot better when they learn the “sperm wars” biological explanation for their desires, as well as just how common and “normal” these desires are.

curls2_90

Need to talk about sperm wars, cuckolding or gangbangs?
Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213-291-9497.

curls90

Group Sex & Swinging

There are many forms of group sex, from threesomes to orgies, polyamorous arrangements, swing parties and pansexual celebrations. Gangbangs are another form of group sex.

Group sex might sound very kinky for some, but it fulfills a very natural, human need to share erotic, orgasmic, loving experiences with multiple people, friends, loved ones and attractive strangers.  In a world that increasingly demands compartmentalization and isolation, there are few arenas left in which humans can share in this vital, life-affirming experience of communal ecstasy.

group-phone-sex-therapy

Different group sex formations are popular, such as the “daisy chain” in which participants perform oral sex on each other in circular formation.  

Some threesomes exhibit a gangbang flair, such as the “spit-roast,” where two males engage a female (or another male), with one penetrating from the rear, usually doggy style, while the female performs fellatio on the other male. There’s also “double-penetration” in which one male penetrates the lady’s vagina while the other enters her anus. If she goes down on another, that’s a triple-penetration.  Add a few more guys around them, watching, stroking themselves and waiting their turn, and you’ve got a classic gangbang.

 

Go Bonobos for Gangbangs

Gangbangs and other forms of group sex are very common amongst our closest genetic cousins, both common chimpanzees—who are more likely do it non-consensually—and especially bonobos —who usually do it with enthusiastic consent and are thus far more worthy of our emulation

In fact, the sexual behavior of all the great apes is a fascinating window into how early human sexual behavior evolved, giving us vital clues as to why gangbangs are so arousing for so many people.

inner-bonobo

Many anthropologists agree that prehistoric humans often engaged in various forms of group sex for tens of thousands of years before the advent of farming and “civilization” started pressuring people, especially women, to be sexually monogamous.

Certainly, prehistoric humans participated in consensual gangbangs and other bonoboesque forms of recreational sex that are generally considered taboo in modern human society.

bonobo liberation therapy

Do you yearn to liberate your inner bonobo… at least in the Erotic Theater of the Mind?
Call us at 213-291-9497.

curls90


Bukkake Gangbangs

If you’re a porn fan, you probably know that “bukkake” is a Japanese term that refers to spraying the face and body of a person, usually a woman, though sometimes a man, with sperm from one, several or many men. The word actually means “splash” or “squirt” in Japanese. In some bukkake sessions, 150 men ejaculate onto one woman.

That’s some gigantic gangbang!

In American-style bukkake, the recipient acts like she’s enjoying herself, rubbing the sperm into her skin like a beauty treatment.

In Japanese-style bukkake, the recipient is more degraded, often acting like she is an unwilling participant (hopefully, it’s just an act). 

Legend has it that in ancient Japan, an adulterous woman would be dragged into the town square and tied up, whereupon every man in town ejaculated all over her in a frenzied bukkake gangbang. Basically, they seem to have been saying, “If you’re going to take it from a man other than you husband, you’re going to get it from everyone else. You’re going to be gangbanged.”

Small banners 3 copy

Some say it comes from the practice of stoning an unfaithful woman to death, and that bukkake is a “kinder, gentler” chastisement. Whether or not the legends are true, “bukkake” became a form of Japanese porn in the 1980s, grew in popularity, and now if you type “bukkake” into google, you’re likely to get hundreds of sites, even if you don’t spell it right.

Bukkake is so vivid and provocative, it can represent many different ideas and feelings. Years ago, in an antiwar context, I compared the “Shock & Awe” bombing of Iraq with bukkake (the nonconsensual kind) in Bukkake Bombing Crusade.

But back to consensual bukkake (even if it’s made to look forced) where nobody gets killed and, hopefully, everybody has fun and big orgasms, including the recipient.

By far the most common bukkake scenario is a group of males ejaculating on a female, but there are scenes where a group of women gangbang a man or woman, spraying the recipient with female ejaculate.  

SEXUAL HEALING copy

Gay male bukkake gangbangs are also popular in which a group of men gangbang one male recipient, covering him in their creamy spunk.

Just the sight of all that semen can trigger the Sperm Wars effect in many guys—gay, straight or bi.

Banzai!

 

Gangbangs: Natural, Normal…But Not Easy

Just because a desire for gangbangs is natural and popular doesn’t mean it’s easy to make it happen in real life, especially in our erotophobic society. There are many variables with one-on-one sex, and group sex just ratchets up the possibilities for problems as well as pleasure.

For instance, say you’re a man with an intense gangbang fantasy that you’d really like to make happen in real life. But what if the woman (your wife? Your girlfriend? Your sex buddy?) isn’t as enthusiastic about being “gangbanged” as you are about seeing her in that situation? 

ad WOMEN PHONE

What if you can’t find the right guys? Where do you find them? How do you screen them? How do you handle safer sex? What if, despite the fantasy turning you on, the reality makes you jealous? What if people gossip about it, take photos without your permission or otherwise betray your trust?  How do you mix lust with trust?

curls2_90

Sometimes it helps to talk freely with someone who understands, won’t judge you and will help you. Whether you need more personalized advice or just want to roleplay a fantasy, call the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213-291-9497

curls90

 

Are You a Gangbang Goddess?

Are you a woman who wants to be gangbanged? Congratulations! You are a very sexual female, and you deserve to enjoy the tremendous, unparalleled pleasures of group sex.

small banners 2

The good news is it probably won’t be tough for you to find partners who want to gangbang you. Just post an ad on a swinger site and watch the replies flood your inbox.

The bad news is that it’s not so easy to find partners you really like, feel attraction for and trust with your naked sexuality. It might take some time and patience to mix trust with lust to create the gangbang of your dreams.

Unfortunately, most modern societies around the world denigrate all forms of group sex, including consensual gangbangs. This can make your partner judge you harshly for confessing or expressing your desires. So, it’s usually best that you understand your feelings and the issues involved before divulging too much.

Most importantly, before you plunge into the deep end of gangbanging and group sex, make sure this is something you want to do, not just something your husband or lover wants you to do. Don’t grudgingly “go along” with a scene that doesn’t turn you on, like Paul Manafort’s wife is alleged to have done in their “interracial” gangbangs. Enthusiastic consent—on your part and the part of all involved—is the basis of a great gangbang or any kind of great sex at all.

SEXUAL HEALING copy

curls2_90

Need to talk about how to turn your gangbang fantasy into reality?  Want to find out how to create the ultimate gangbang, whom to invite, what to serve and what to wear? Want to learn more about the origins of your personal gangbang desires? Or do you just want to enjoy guided masturbation as we explore the fantasy together?

Whatever you need to talk about, you can call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute and talk to one of our male, female,  trans or non-binary therapists of all ages over 18 with great gangbang knowledge, experience and erotic appreciation.

Whether you’d like to get a better understanding of your fetish, get some tips for talking to your partner about it, work through past experiences, hear about our  experiences with gangbangs, or just explore gangbangs in the Erotic Theater of the Mind over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here to help.  Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

curls90

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

Lingerie Phone Sex Therapy

Lingerie Phone sex therapy banner copy

Love lingerie?

Like sexy panties, stockings, garter belts, diaphanous robes, cute teddies, slinky slips, bras, corsets, old-fashioned girdles or pantyhose?

What about materials? Do you prefer silky or lacy lingerie, satin, chiffon, nylon, fishnet, latex, spandex or pure simple cotton?

How about colors? Sultry black? Virginal white? Fire-engine red? Classic navy? Sparkly silver or gaudy gold? Passionate purple? Vintage ivory? Hot pink?

Do you love to look at your lovers in lingerie, feel the sensuous material, smell the intimate aroma… or wear it yourself?

Whether you’ve got a full-blown lingerie “fetish” or just an erotic interest, you can talk about it with the lingerie-loving Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7.

Rest assured, your privacy is paramount, and everything you share with us is absolutely confidential.

Let us help you explore, understand and enjoy your interest in lingerie and anything else you need to talk about that you can’t talk about with anyone else. You can talk to us, and we are here for YOU.

And yes, of course, you can masturbate, if you want, during sessions. And no, there is no sex therapy center or phone sex service quite like ours.

Call us anytime: 213-291-9497.

Dr. Susan Block Institute Director Susan Block, Ph.D., in some of her favorite lingerie. Photo: Jux Lii

Dr. Susan Block Institute Director Susan Block, Ph.D., in some of her favorite hot pink lingerie. Photo: Jux Lii

 

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

ORGASM

AD ORGASM2

by Dr. Susan Block.

It’s all about the orgasm.

Well, maybe not all. There are other important aspects to good sex: sensuality, intimacy, humor, consent, creativity, openness, communication, love. But for many people, orgasms—yours and your lover(s)—tendto be the high points of sexual experience.

Orgasm might just be the peak of our very existence. That’s why we also call it a “climax.” It’s certainly considered by many to be the most pleasurable thing we can enjoy. That thrumming rush of endorphins as it builds via foreplay, teasing and erotic tension, the electric thrill, the ultimate eruption and release, accompanied by intensely pleasurable, rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvis and sometimes throughout the body, as well as in the mind, ecstasy enveloping your entire being, sometime make you feel that you “lose” your body… or your mind. You might also feel like you’re floating through space or hurtling through time into infinity, a shattering of the “ego,” blending into a deep “cosmic” awareness of your cellular connection with everyone and everything in the universe, along with a marvelous sense of well-being.

Oh, what a feeling.

Yet, for some of us, orgasms are elusive, “over-rated” and almost mythical. Some people, usually women, have never experienced sexual climax in their lives. Other women or men, due to the aging process, or physical and/or mental trauma, may have once climaxed easily and often, but not anymore.

Orgasms aren’t everything, but not having them—for whatever reason—can certainly take the wind out of your sexual sails. What to do?

Need to talk about your orgasms?

Private and absolutely confidential, you can call the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213-291-9497. Whatever your question, desire or orgasmic issue, we’re here for you.

Orgasm Education

Could you benefit from a little orgasm education? It’s not a subject they teach in school… at least not in the classroom. Yet most of us would greatly benefit from learning a thing or two about orgasms, as well as why and how we have them… or don’t have them.

Not everyone just instinctively “knows” how to climax in a way that is satisfying for themselves and their partners. Many women have to learn to “achieve” or release orgasm, and many men greatly benefit from learning to control the timing of their orgasms. Most people of all genders can achieve greater, stronger orgasms through experience, education and just sharing information.

What kinds of orgasms do you experience? What would you like to try?

Orgasms are like flowers; there are many different varieties.  All are beautiful in their own way, but some may not be your cup of love juice.  There are quickie orgasms, deep slow orgasms, clitoral orgasms and G-spot orgasms (for women), C-spot orgasms (also for women, involving the cervix), P-spot orgasms (for men), blended orgasms, extended orgasms, oral sex orgasms, masturbatory orgasms, woman-on-top orgasms, missionary orgasms, doggy-style orgasms, reverse-cowgirl orgasms, spoon-style orgasms, yabyum orgasms, first-time orgasms, multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, orgasms that seem to come from parts of the body other than the genitals (i.e., nipplegasms, toegasms, eargasms), anal orgasms, emotional orgasms, no-touch orgasms, fantasy-powered orgasms, fetish-oriented orgasms, vibrator orgasms, dildo orgasms, sadomasochistic orgasms, orgy orgasms, bondage orgasms, pain-killer orgasms, sinus-clearing orgasms, “Sperm Wars” orgasms, tantric-style non-ejaculatory orgasms for men, male ejaculatory orgasms that shoot versus the kind that just dribble, and female ejaculatory orgasms (squirting). There are even so-called “forced orgasms” where the Dominant partner restrains the submissive (consensually, of course) until they climax, seemingly against their will. There are mini-orgasms that last a half-second and orgasms that go on for days—or feel like they do.

Got questions about any type of orgasm? Give us a call anytime at 213-291-9497.

DrSusanBlock_Sexologist

“Oh God!”

In a very real sense, coming or “cumming” is sacred. Maybe that’s why so many of us call out to “God” when we cum. Climaxing launches us into a higher state of being—one many of us yearn to experience on a regular basis. However, while frequent orgasming is good and good for you, there are some practical limits. After all, you’ve got a life to live, maybe a job to work, relationships to foster, issues to deal with. Sacrificing everything else for the sake of the ultimate O isn’t necessarily desirable or even feasible.

For instance, you may be a “demisexual” who can only climax via intimacy with a meaningful partner, which might sound very nice but means that you freeze up during first-time encounters. On the other hand, you might have stronger orgasms via self-pleasure—or, even more problematic, during an affair—than with your regular partner, the person you love.

Orgasms, though fabulous, can be fickle.

Are your orgasmic needs at odds with your other needs, desires and goals? Need to sort it out with someone knowledgeable?

Or do you feel like you just need to “cum” in a safe, confidential context that doesn’t interfere with your other priorities and just lets you enjoy your strongest solo-sex orgasm possible?

To kick that Big O into overdrive, call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7. And yes, of course, you can masturbate during sessions. And no, there is no sex therapy center or phone sex service quite like ours. Call us: 213-291-9497.

Orgasm Yoga

Many people practice yoga, meditation and martial arts to reach that “higher” level of being, but an orgasm instantly blasts you past anything those disciplines can achieve—and (usually) with a lot less effort. It might not last long or grant deep wisdom, but there’s no denying the physical and mental bliss that occurs in that explosive moment and in the lingering after-glow.

How about orgasm yoga? Perhaps a class like the late great Dr. Betty Dodson taught featuring lessons in arousal and orgasm control, climaxing with a naked, orgiastic group release. Talk about Hot Yoga… wow! Sounds titillating—and it sure is—but unless you are an exhibitionist, for most people, having an orgasm is a private affair.

How about a private orgasm yoga class one-on-one with just you and your orgasm yoga teacher? We can make it happen via phone, webcam or sext therapy.

To get started, call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

A Glorious Gift

Climaxing yourself is one thing (and it’s a very important thing!), but being able to give someone else body-shaking orgasms is also a wonderful skill well worth cultivating. It’s a glorious gift to your partner, not to mention a self-esteem boost for yourself. While it’s certainly true that you are not “responsible” for your partner’s orgasm, there’s no denying how good you both feel when you can help someone you care about “cum.”

Whether you’re rubbing their button, stroking their shaft, fingering their g-spot (or p-spot), grinding against their pubic bone as you penetrate their depths, squeezing their stick, whispering fantasies in their ear, or going up and down as they go in and out, the power to give pleasure is the greatest power you have.

Do you have trouble helping your lover climax? Is your partner unable to orgasm when you have sex? Do you want to improve your ability to give your lover(s) pleasure? Need some advice or inspiration? Call our Pleasure Counselors anytime at 213-291-9497.

Orgasm Issues

We believe that everyone—male, female or however you identify—can experience some kind of orgasm. Furthermore, we all have a “right” to have orgasms (though we don’t have rights to have orgasms with others, unless they consent, of course).

For various reasons, not all of us can achieve orgasm as “freely” and easily as we’d like to, and some of us have a more difficult time of it than others. This may be due to a physical problem; a relationship issue; emotional trauma from past sexual abuse; a strict, religious, anti-sex upbringing or just a lot of really bad sex.

Some women suffer from “anorgasmia,” the inability to climax. The good news is that many anorgasmic learn to have fantastic orgasms, if they really want to, with sex therapy (especially if the anorgasmia is due to trauma from past experiences), sex education, relaxation and kegel exercises, perhaps a good vibrator or, if the anaorgasmia is very severe, the help of medications and hormone treatments.

Though anorgasmia is more common among women than men, some guys, especially older males or men taking antidepressants and other medications, are anorgasmic or just have difficulties climaxing.

Sometimes it might take a long period of stimulation, more than your partner enjoys, for you to climax. You might need or desire more consistent, lengthier or more intense stimulation than your partner can even tolerate. This discrepancy in orgasmic needs can turn pleasure (orgasm) into pain and frustration for both of you.

If that sounds like your situation, maybe we can help, as we’ve helped thousands of men, women and couples every day for over 25 years. Give us a call at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you.

Many men, especially younger men, suffer from so-called “premature” ejaculation. The suffering is not in the orgasm itself, but in the shame and embarrassment often felt with a partner hoping for more. The good news is that most men naturally slow down as they age. Moreover, if you really want to learn how to keep from blowing your load before your partner is ready for it, even when you’re young, you can do it! Read “Pre-Mature Ejaculation Combat Tips & Techniques,” and try the stop-start or squeeze techniques and other suggestions. Then, if you have questions or need some personal guidance for great orgasm control—which ultimately leads to stronger, more satisfying orgasms—give us a call anytime at 213.291-9497.

Benefits of Orgasm

As if the pure pleasure of orgasm isn’t enough to make you want to cum right now, get this: climaxing is good for your health.

It’s common knowledge that orgasms relieve stress, but they also benefit your health in numerous other ways. The big O raises your heart rate—even if you do it lying down! Exercising your heart is great cardio. It’s just what the doctor ordered (though most doctors wouldn’t dare to order it). Orgasms can also reduce inflammation and sometimes completely eliminate the pain of a headache, cramps or even sinus congestion. The sexual hormones released during an orgasm are linked to lower rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. A good climax can help you fall into that deliciously deep sleep that eludes so many of us in today’s 24/7 society—and its much better for you than taking a Xanax or even a Melatonin. Regularly orgasming keeps your skin healthy and younger looking. An orgasm a day reduces the risk of prostate cancer in men. There’s even evidence that women who climax regularly during sex live longer than women who don’t.

Can more orgasms create peace on earth? Who knows, but it’s the Bonobo Way, and hey, it’s worth a try! Like the old saying goes: You can’t fight a war while you’re having an orgasm.

Orgasm is a great equalizer. Not everyone in this unfortunately unequal world of ours can be rich, powerful, beautiful (in the conventional sense) or “successful.” But everyone alive can experience an orgasm of some sort, and that’s a very valuable kind of “success” of its own.

Orgasms are amazing, maybe the most amazing life-affirming moments we living creatures can experience, but they can be tricky. There’s any number of issues that can pop up when dealing with them, just a few of which we’ve mentioned above. Whatever your issue, the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you. You can call us anytime for a totally confidential conversation about orgasm or any aspect of sex, anytime you need to talk.

Don’t miss out on the better, stronger, easier, healthier orgasms that you deserve.

Call us now at 213-291-9497.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

Breast Fetish Therapy

janerussell10


Call 213.291.9497

What is it about a pair of beautiful breasts that makes most men and a lot of women go gaga with desire?

Many an otherwise reasonable gentleman’s life virtually revolves around his pursuit of the perfect breasts (big or small, but usually big)…the supreme bazoombahs!  Gazangas!  Tatas!  Mammas!  The typical “breast man” will probably snort with denial if anyone suggests that his intense interest in a lady’s ample mammaries have anything to do with his desire to suckle up to Mama, but what does he know?  After all, the glorification of the female breast as a sex symbol, as opposed to a maternal image, is so pervasive in the West, especially in America, most of us forget that boobs are not genitalia.

Indeed, the most acceptable all-American fetish is the one so many good old boys have for ladies’ chests.  Though for some men, the adoration of the feminine bust is nothing less than the Holy Grail, it is, of course, a fetish, along the same lines as a foot or bun fetish, since the female rack is no more involved with sexual reproduction than the feet or buns.  Breasts are far more essential to nurturing than to sexual intercourse. And therein lays the infantile origin of the breast fetish.  That deep need we all have for deep nurturance.  Sustenance.  Comfort.  Food.  The breast is food, after all.  It is that unique part of a lady’s body that actually creates food—the ultimate comfort food—the milk of life and love…and fetishes.  Mmmmm….No wonder nipples are so suckable, even for grown-ups with no serious “Mommy issues”!

So what do you like about breasts (everything)?  Hard nipples? Mesmerizing areolas? Do you prefer a nice, soft, squeezable, all-natural bosom?  Or do you go for surgically enhanced “porn star boobs”?  Do you like them small, medium or large? How about XXXtra large?  Are you more turned on by bare breasts, or boobies in bras? Or do you just love the slow sensuous reveal, the tease of the striptease?  How about devastating cleavage? Pierced nipples? Lactating moo-moos? Wet T-shirt? Tied up torpedoes? Bouncing bazooms? Teenage Lewinskies or a mature MiLF’s mamaloogas? Girlfriend goombas? Do you like perky titties that seem to reach for the sky or flapdoodle boobies that swing back and forth like baby seals at play?

When you encounter a “nice pair,” what do you like to do with them?  Cuddle, suckle, tweak or kiss? Do you long to rest your weary head against a sumptuous dairy pillow?  Would you rather worship a set of sexy  breasts or slap them (consensually, of course)?  Do you enjoy intermammary intercourse, or as the Latins call it, coitus a mammalia, the act of ejaculating between the boobs?  The lady generally leans backward as the gentleman places his penis between her jugs and thrusts, the lady controlling the pressure by pushing her soft mounds together, squeezing his shaft until he gives her a  “pearl necklace.”  Or do you just like to watch a busty lady show off her assets?

One of the most famous American breast fetishists was the notably eccentric, hugely wealthy Howard Hughes. Hughes was an only child and very attached to his doting mama Allene who died when he was sixteen (fertile ground for mother issues and a breast fetish).  Hughes used his extensive power and money to seduce hundreds of big-busted showgirls and movie stars, including the famously voluptuous Jane Russell (pictured above in Outlaw), in his passionate search for the perfect pillowy bosom against which to rest his weary, mother-issue-ridden head.  After viewing rushes of Russell in Macao, Hughes wrote a three-page memo detailing what kind of bra she should wear to enhance her sumptuous bazooms.

Send us a memo on the perfect pair for you, and give us a call anytime for webcam, sext or phone sex therapy.  Whether you need help with a serious sexual problem or you’d just like to roleplay a fantasy, we’re here for you, anytime you need to talk (or webcam) 24/7.  Whatever your pleasure or concern, if you need to talk about it, you can call the breast fetish specialist  sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

Erotic Theater Therapy: Fantasy Roleplay

Call Us Now:
213.291.9497

 “All the world’s a stage.”  ~William Shakespeare

For adults, as well as children, fantasy is often a lot more fun than reality.  Whether it’s erotic, exotic or PG enough for Disney, your fantasy is your own self-contained little universe, in which you make all the rules.  Anything is possible; nothing is forbidden.  Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, we call this alternative, highly sexual universe within us all the “Erotic Theater of the Mind.”

Dr. Susan Block, a magna cum laude graduate of Yale University with Distinction in Theater Studies and a doctorate in philosophy with an emphasis in psychology from Miramar University and an honorary doctorate from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality), has developed a uniquely effective and exciting technique of “erotic theater therapy” over the past two decades.  She and the other therapists of the Institute practice erotic theater therapy both in the brick and mortar “Womb Room” studio in Los Angeles where she broadcasts her Saturday night shows and via the extremely private medium of the telephone and other communications tools.

 In so doing, she follows in the footsteps of her forebear, Dr. Iwan Bloch, the Father of Sexology.  In 1907, Dr. Bloch boldly proposed the new concept of a science of sexuality: sexualwissenschaft or sexology. Bloch’s colleague Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld helped to organize this science, and in the liberal atmosphere of Weimar Berlin, purchased a villa that became his institute which housed his immense library on sex (later burned by Nazis), provided educational services and medical consultations and featured theatrical presentations on various sexual fetishes and orientations.  These theatrical events were attended by therapists, patients of the Institute and dramatic artists of the time, like Christopher Isherwood and W.H. Auden.

Throughout history, many more have utilized the art of theater as a therapeutic and educational tool, including such venerated techniques as “psychodrama” based on Dr. Jacob L. Moreno’s “Theater of Spontaneity,” Dr. Fritz Perls’ Gestalt therapy, Jungian archetypal dramatization, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s system of “Nonviolent Communication,” and Michel Foucault’s concepts of Ars Erotica (“erotic art”) and Scientia Sexualis (“science of sexuality”), not to mention the famous Aristotelian view of theater as not just a form of entertainment, but as a means to understand the problems of life.  Ancient Greek tragedies and comedies—not to mention their theatrical athletic contests—were filled with sex, love, romance, fantasy and desire, as is classical mythology.

There are essentially two types of erotic theater therapy practiced at the Institute: the real-life Womb Room theater at the Institute on terra firma, where we conduct a variety of therapeutic erotic theater experiences, and the Erotic Theater of the Mind which we explore with individuals and couples via the phone, webcam and other media.  For more about Erotic Theater Therapy in the Womb Room, visit DrSuzy.tv.  For more about erotic theater therapy over the phone and webcam, read on.

Dr. Block’s phone sex therapy system takes a four-point approach to sex therapy, involving 1) confession, 2) analysis, 3) technique and 4) adventureThe theater actually *happens* at the fourth point, but is a part of process of all four.  Dr. Block and her other therapists, surrogates and fantasy roleplayers combine the theatrical elements of improvisation, storytelling, spectacle, the hero’s journey, archetype, hypnosis, exaggeration, confession, guided masturbation, “dirty talk,” erotic sound play and role-play, with more traditional forms of therapy and counseling.


Erotic theater therapy via phone sex fantasy roleplay can awaken, enlighten, stimulate, educate, liberate, challenge and comfort, as well as arouse you.  Here at the Institute, we believe in the healing power of pleasure, and we want to help you to experience it.  It’s the Bonobo Way.

Here are some other benefits of Dr. Block’s erotic theater therapy techniques applied through phone sex fantasy roleplay:

  • Gain insight into sexual dilemmas
  • Investigate unknown sexual situations
  • Revisit and reenact profound sexual memories—good and bad
  • Act out dreams with the therapist as aural collaborator
  • Try out new private activities
  • Explore taboo actions, objects and partners
  • Evaluate sexual behaviors:  fantasy vs. real life
  • Relax your defenses
  • Wake up your senses
  • Free your mind
  • Enhance your orgasm and your partner’s orgasm
  • Express your “wild side” without fear of judgment
  • Learn about your body
  • Improve sexual self-control
  • Allow yourself to experience total sexual surrender (lack of control)
  • Enhance your self-esteem
  • Improve your body image
  • Confront your greatest difficulties in and outside of the bedroom
  • Learn the art of seduction
  • Reveal long bottled up secrets in a safe, private, confidential supportive environment
  • Release sexual frustration
  • Get ideas for real life through playing out “what-if” scenarios
  • Develop confidence
  • Learn the truth about yourself
  • Rehearse new modes of behavior: learn how to “act” on the stage of your sex life
  • Learn how to cope with your more difficult sexual fantasies and fetishes
  • Strategize and plan for your erotic future

Interested in exploring erotic theater therapy through phone sex fantasy roleplay, but not sure what fantasy to explore?  Here are some common examples:

Romantic Lovers
Husband and Wife
Doctor and Patient
Teacher and Student
Boss and Secretary
Goddess and Worshiper
Mistress and Slave
MILF and Neighbor
Priest and Nun
Incest Fantasy
Rape Fantasy
Ageplay Fantasy
Animal Fantasy
More Topics Here
No Topic is Too Taboo!

Learn more about Secret Sexual Fantasies Here

Need To Talk With Someone About Something
You Can’t Talk to Anyone Else About?
You Can Talk To Us.

Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away. Call 213.291.9497

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

Tilly

Hi, I’m Tilly, a Kinky Submissive Baby Voiced Sex Kitten into Spanking, Oral Worship, Panties, High Heels Role Play and Fantasy.
Will you be my daddy?

Call  me at (213) 291-9497 for phone sex therapy.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

Guided Masturbation

guided-masturbation

Call Us Now:
213.291.9497

“Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you.”
Susan Block, PhD

Masturbation is the most primary activity of our sexual lives. Yet it is shrouded in secrecy and shame. There are many reasons to masturbate, and not just in the merry Masturbation Month of May. Here are eight of them.

 Guided Masturbation Phone Sex Therapy with the Block Institute incorporates various techniques such as erotic hypnosis, deep relaxation, tantric breathing and fantasy roleplay to help you to achieve stronger orgasms, last longer, become a better lover, get to know your body, break through hangups and inhibitions, enter a special fantasy or fetish world, and/or experience a state of higher arousal and deeper relaxation than you’ve ever experienced before.

Go on a very personalized body-and-mind trip, an erotic adventure into self-love via Guided Masturbation with the Dr. Susan Block Institute.

We use Guided Masturbation to unlock many positive aspects of our sexuality, as well as to cope with and control negative aspects.

Let Your Fingers Do the Walking as We Do the Talking…

To talk to one of our many expert Masturbation Guides, Call The Dr. Susan Block Institute Anytime at 213.291.9497.

Click Here for More Info About the Merry Masturbation Month of May

“If God had intended us not to masturbate, S/he would have made our arms shorter.”
George Carlin

 

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

Oral Phone Sex Therapy

Fellatio Banner v2

Call Us Now:
213.291.9497

“Just” foreplay? Blasphemy! For those of us who really know it and love it, Oral Sex can be the main attraction.

Tonguing, licking, sucking, tasting, kissing and perchance a little bit of nibbling, Oral Sex allows us to explore our partner with greater dexterity and sensual variety.

Whether you want to talk about Cunnilingus or Fellatio, your Oral Sex Fantasies, get tips and tricks on better Oral Sex Strategy, or just have a hot and steamy Oral Sex Roleplay, we’re all ears (and mouths and tongues and lips). Let’s get Aural about Oral!

Click Here to Read Dr. Block’s Oral Advice in
“Eat Your Way To The Best Sex of Your Life”

Need to talk to someone about something you can’t talk about with anyone else?
You Can Talk To Us.

Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, the world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, and you can call us at 213.291.9497.

The Dr. Susan Block Institute Established 1991

For more information, call our recorded line.

213.291.9497

We’re available 24/7, including all holidays.

Sign Up For Therapy

Get in touch with us

Sign Up For Therapy

U.S.A. &
International

1.213.291.9497

Australia
(07) 3177 5400

Canada
1.866.207.7521

South Africa
+27.10.100.3058

Mexico
05.585.256.466

United Kingdom
020.710.194.30

Singapore
800.130.1602

Skype
213.599.7398

Southhampton,
New York

631.268.2005

You may also call us at 
213.291.9497
and we will call you back anywhere in the world!


Listen Anytime

Sex Calls with Dr. Suzy

Bookstore

International Encyclopedia of Human Sexuality

Therapists Without Borders