by Dr. Susan Block.
It’s all about the orgasm.
Well, maybe not all. There are other important aspects to good sex: sensuality, intimacy, humor, consent, creativity, openness, communication, love. But for many people, orgasm—yours and your lover(s)—tends to be the high point of a sexual experience.
Orgasm might just be the peak of our very existence. That’s why we also call it a “climax.” It’s certainly considered by many to be the most pleasurable thing we can enjoy. That thrumming rush of endorphins as it builds via foreplay, teasing and erotic tension, the electric thrill, the ultimate eruption and release, accompanied by intensely pleasurable, rhythmic muscle contractions in the pelvis and sometimes throughout the body, as well as in the mind, ecstasy enveloping your entire being, sometimes making you feel that you “lose” your body… or your mind. You might also feel like you’re floating through space or hurtling through time into infinity, a shattering of the “ego,” blending into a deep “cosmic” awareness of your cellular connection with everyone and everything in the universe, along with a marvelous sense of well-being.
Oh, what a feeling.
Yet, for some of us, orgasms are elusive, “over-rated” and almost mythical. Some people, usually women, have never experienced sexual climax in their lives. Other women or men, due to the aging process, or physical and/or mental trauma, may have once climaxed easily and often, but not anymore.
Orgasms aren’t everything, but not having them—for whatever reason—can certainly take the wind out of your sexual sails. What to do?
Need to talk about your orgasms?
Private and absolutely confidential, you can call the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime: 213-291-9497. Whatever your question, desire or orgasmic issue, we’re here for you.
Could you benefit from a little orgasm education? It’s not a subject they teach in school… at least not in the classroom. Yet most of us would greatly benefit from learning a thing or two about orgasms, as well as why and how we have them… or don’t have them.
Not everyone just instinctively “knows” how to climax in a way that is satisfying for themselves and their partners. Many women have to learn to “achieve” or release orgasm, and many men greatly benefit from learning to control the timing of their orgasms. Most people of all genders can achieve greater, stronger orgasms through experience, education and just sharing information.
What kinds of orgasms do you experience? What would you like to try?
Orgasms are like flowers; there are many different varieties. All are beautiful in their own way, but some may not be your cup of love juice. There are quickie orgasms, deep slow orgasms, clitoral orgasms and G-spot orgasms (for women), C-spot orgasms (also for women, involving the cervix), P-spot orgasms (for men), blended orgasms, extended orgasms, oral sex orgasms, masturbatory orgasms, woman-on-top orgasms, missionary orgasms, doggy-style orgasms, reverse-cowgirl orgasms, spoon-style orgasms, yabyum orgasms, first-time orgasms, multiple orgasms, simultaneous orgasms, orgasms that seem to come from parts of the body other than the genitals (i.e., nipplegasms, toegasms, eargasms), anal orgasms, emotional orgasms, no-touch orgasms, fantasy-powered orgasms, fetish-oriented orgasms, vibrator orgasms, dildo orgasms, sadomasochistic orgasms, orgy orgasms, bondage orgasms, pain-killer orgasms, sinus-clearing orgasms, “Sperm Wars” orgasms, tantric-style non-ejaculatory orgasms for men, male ejaculatory orgasms that shoot versus the kind that just dribble, and female ejaculatory orgasms (squirting). There are even so-called “forced orgasms” where the Dominant partner restrains the submissive (consensually, of course) until they climax, seemingly against their will. There are mini-orgasms that last a half-second and orgasms that go on for days—or feel like they do.
Got questions about any type of orgasm? Give us a call anytime at 213-291-9497.
In a very real sense, coming or “cumming” is sacred. Maybe that’s why so many of us call out to “God” when we cum. Climaxing launches us into a higher state of being—one many of us yearn to experience on a regular basis. However, while frequent orgasming is good and good for you, there are some practical limits. After all, you’ve got a life to live, maybe a job to work, relationships to foster, issues to deal with. Sacrificing everything else for the sake of the ultimate O isn’t necessarily desirable or even feasible.
For instance, you may be a “demisexual” who can only climax via intimacy with a meaningful partner, which might sound very nice but means that you freeze up during first-time encounters. On the other hand, you might have stronger orgasms via self-pleasure—or, even more problematic, during an affair—than with your regular partner, the person you love.
Orgasms, though fabulous, can be fickle.
Are your orgasmic needs at odds with your other needs, desires and goals? Need to sort it out with someone knowledgeable?
Or do you feel like you just need to “cum” in a safe, confidential context that doesn’t interfere with your other priorities and just lets you enjoy your strongest solo-sex orgasm possible?
To kick that Big O into overdrive, call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7. And yes, of course, you can masturbate during sessions. And no, there is no sex therapy center or phone sex service quite like ours. Call us: 213-291-9497.
Many people practice yoga, meditation and martial arts to reach that “higher” level of being, but an orgasm instantly blasts you past anything those disciplines can achieve—and (usually) with a lot less effort. It might not last long or grant deep wisdom, but there’s no denying the physical and mental bliss that occurs in that explosive moment and in the lingering after-glow.
How about orgasm yoga? Perhaps a class like Dr. Betty Dodson teaches featuring lessons in arousal and orgasm control, climaxing with a naked, orgiastic group release. Talk about Hot Yoga… wow! Sounds titillating—and it sure is—but unless you are an exhibitionist, for most people, having an orgasm is a private affair.
To get started, call us anytime at 213-291-9497.
A Glorious Gift
Climaxing yourself is one thing (and it’s a very important thing!), but being able to give someone else body-shaking orgasms is also a wonderful skill well worth cultivating. It’s a glorious gift to your partner, not to mention a self-esteem boost for yourself. While it’s certainly true that you are not “responsible” for your partner’s orgasm, there’s no denying how good you both feel when you can help someone you care about “cum.”
Whether you’re rubbing their button, stroking their shaft, fingering their g-spot (or p-spot), grinding against their pubic bone as you penetrate their depths, squeezing their stick, whispering fantasies in their ear, or going up and down as they go in and out, the power to give pleasure is the greatest power you have.
Do you have trouble helping your lover climax? Is your partner unable to orgasm when you have sex? Do you want to improve your ability to give your lover(s) pleasure? Need some advice or inspiration? Call our Pleasure Counselors anytime at 213-291-9497.
We believe that everyone—male, female or however you identify—can experience some kind of orgasm. Furthermore, we all have a “right” to have orgasms (though we don’t have rights to have orgasms with others, unless they consent, of course).
For various reasons, not all of us can achieve orgasm as “freely” and easily as we’d like to, and some of us have a more difficult time of it than others. This may be due to a physical problem; a relationship issue; emotional trauma from past sexual abuse; a strict, religious, anti-sex upbringing or just a lot of really bad sex.
Some women suffer from “anorgasmia,” the inability to climax. The good news is that many anorgasmic learn to have fantastic orgasms, if they really want to, with sex therapy (especially if the anorgasmia is due to trauma from past experiences), sex education, relaxation and kegel exercises, perhaps a good vibrator or, if the anaorgasmia is very severe, the help of medications and hormone treatments.
Though anorgasmia is more common among women than men, some guys, especially older males or men taking antidepressants and other medications, are anorgasmic or just have difficulties climaxing.
Sometimes it might take a long period of stimulation, more than your partner enjoys, for you to climax. You might need or desire more consistent, lengthier or more intense stimulation than your partner can even tolerate. This discrepancy in orgasmic needs can turn pleasure (orgasm) into pain and frustration for both of you.
If that sounds like your situation, maybe we can help, as we’ve helped thousands of men, women and couples every day for over 25 years. Give us a call at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you.
Many men, especially younger men, suffer from so-called “premature” ejaculation. The suffering is not in the orgasm itself, but in the shame and embarrassment often felt with a partner hoping for more. The good news is that most men naturally slow down as they age. Moreover, if you really want to learn how to keep from blowing your load before your partner is ready for it, even when you’re young, you can do it! Read “Pre-Mature Ejaculation Combat Tips & Techniques,” and try the stop-start or squeeze techniques and other suggestions. Then, if you have questions or need some personal guidance for great orgasm control—which ultimately leads to stronger, more satisfying orgasms—give us a call anytime at 213.291-9497.
Benefits of Orgasm
As if the pure pleasure of orgasm isn’t enough to make you want to cum right now, get this: climaxing is good for your health.
It’s common knowledge that orgasms relieve stress, but they also benefit your health in numerous other ways. The big O raises your heart rate—even if you do it lying down! Exercising your heart is great cardio. It’s just what the doctor ordered (though most doctors wouldn’t dare to order it). Orgasms can also reduce inflammation and sometimes completely eliminate the pain of a headache, cramps or even sinus congestion. The sexual hormones released during an orgasm are linked to lower rates of anxiety, depression, and suicide. A good climax can help you fall into that deliciously deep sleep that eludes so many of us in today’s 24/7 society—and its much better for you than taking a Xanax or even a Melatonin. Regularly orgasming keeps your skin healthy and younger looking. An orgasm a day reduces the risk of prostate cancer in men. There’s even evidence that women who climax regularly during sex live longer than women who don’t.
Can more orgasms create peace on earth? Who knows, but it’s the Bonobo Way, and hey, it’s worth a try! Like the old saying goes: You can’t fight a war while you’re having an orgasm.
Orgasm is a great equalizer. Not everyone in this unfortunately unequal world of ours can be rich, powerful, beautiful (in the conventional sense) or “successful.” But everyone alive can experience an orgasm of some sort, and that’s a very valuable kind of “success” of its own.
Orgasms are amazing, maybe the most amazing life-affirming moments we living creatures can experience, but they can be tricky. There’s any number of issues that can pop up when dealing with them, just a few of which we’ve mentioned above. Whatever your issue, the orgasm experts of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you. You can call us anytime for a totally confidential conversation about orgasm or any aspect of sex, anytime you need to talk.
Don’t miss out on the better, stronger, easier, healthier orgasms that you deserve.
Call us now at 213-291-9497.