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GANGBANG Phone Sex Therapy

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by Dr. Susan Block.

Are you thinking about gangbangs?

Do you ever fantasize about multiple men having sex with one woman? Do you imagine your wife, lover or favorite celebrity at the center of the action?  Would you want it to be with your friends or strangers? Have you ever participated in a gangbang? Would you like to try it?

Do you need to talk about it?

Being aroused by the idea of participating in a consensual gangbang is normal and a lot more common than you might realize.  You may want to act on your desire, or you may not. Regardless, though gangbangs and all forms of group sex are taboo in most modern human societies—and no one should ever take part in a nonconsensual gangbang—they remain part of our prehistoric primate heritage. Indeed, gangbangs have been going on since the dawn of humanity, for thousands of years before the concepts of monogamy and even fatherhood came into understanding.

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Need to talk privately about gangbangs, group sex, swinging, cuckolding or any other form of recreational sex? call the world’s foremost experts, the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Our team of highly qualified sex therapists, sex life coaches, fantasy roleplay performers, sexual psychodrama facilitators, erotic hypnotherapists and kink specialists are here for YOU anytime you need to talk.

Whether you want to better understand your own feelings and desires, act them out in real life, learn how to share them with your partner, work through past experiences, hear about our own experiences with gangbangs, or explore a fantasy over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here for you. Call 213-291-9497.

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Why Do You Love Gangbangs?

Many gangbang enthusiasts are worried that their interest in gangbangs, threesomes “The Lifestyle” and other forms of group sex makes them “weird.” If that sounds like you, rest assured you’re not weird.

Human sexual history, in fact, is loaded with various kinds of group sex, including gangbangs. Unfortunately, much of it—way too much of it—has been by force, most notably and tragically during wartime. Unfortunately, when Hollywood movies, such as The Accused, depict gangbangs, though they don’t show genitalia like porn, they almost invariably show the horrible, nonconsensual kind.

However, some of the group sex that’s been going on since hunter/gatherer times has been consensual and a great pleasure, as well as a profoundly meaningful experience, for all involved. That includes gender-balanced swing parties, same sex orgies, one male with a “harem” of females, as well as one female having sex with multiple men.

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So, there’s nothing new about group sex, including gangbangs. What is *new* is that the Internet allows us to learn more about what other people do than ever before in human history. Moreover, if we want, we can *hook up* with people who share our desires—including the desire to watch or partake in a good gangbang.

Search “gangbang” in google, and you’ll see megatons of gangbang porn, and the great majority appears to be enthusiastically consensual. According to PornHub.com, which received 42 billion visits in 2019, “threesome” was the 13th most popular search term and “gangbang” was the 19th most popular, putting both in the top 20.

But why is this? Aren’t we supposed to want to be with just one special lover? Why would sharing lovers with others turn us on?

 

Sperm Wars & the Upsuck Effect

The “Sperm Wars” phenomenon—where the womb becomes a battleground for sperm that fight like armies or football teams to get one of their sperm (the proverbial football) to the egg first—gives us a biological explanation of why gangbangs are so popular.

Studies show that a man’s sperm count tends to rise when competition to fertilize the egg of his wife or girlfriend appears to be high. Whether the man really has genuine rivals who are having sex with his partner or it’s just in his vivid imagination, his brain sends a message to his testicles that says, “Send in the army!” or “We need the whole football team, including reinforcements, for this game!”

In other words, “Make more sperm!”

Whether he’s excited and happy about the competition or jealous and angry, this phenomenon tends to give a man a stronger erection and a more explosive ejaculation. Of course, it’s better for everyone concerned if he’s more glad than mad, but that does explain why jealous, angry lovemaking or “makeup sex” can be so arousing for some people, despite their better judgment.

Conversely, sperm counts often decline in the routine sex of monogamous relationships, no matter how intimate and loving. Since the element of competition is missing, the brain’s message to the balls is, “You don’t need the whole football team to score this goal since there’s no rival team on the field. Conserve your resources and just send in a few runners.”

The shape of the human penis gives us another clue as to why gangbangs are so popular. A study by Gordon Gallup and coworkers (2003) concluded that one evolutionary purpose of the thrusting motion characteristic of intense intercourse is for the penis to “upsuck” another man’s semen before depositing its own. Thus a man’s urge to thrust, through intercourse or masturbation, is often enhanced by the presence of another man or several men, whether real or fantasized.

 

A Galaxy of Gangbangs

There are many different kinds of gangbangs.

There’s the beach party gangbang, a birthday gangbang, a soft-swing gangbang that involves outercourse instead of intercourse. It could be a spanking gangbang, a cuckold gangbang, an oral or an anal gangbang.

In terms of the participants, there’s the classic one-woman-with-a-male-gang scenario—and then there’s anything else that turns you and you partner(s) on.

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Maybe you’re a man who longs to be gangbanged by other men, or perhaps by a group of women sporting strap-ons or squirting all over you.

Most men who imagine such scenarios don’t dare express their feelings, not to other men nor to the women in their lives, for fear of being humiliated… even if “humiliation” is part of the fantasy.

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Need to talk about it privately with someone who understands? Call us at 213.291.9497.

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Consent is Essential

As with any type of sexual activity, the most important element of a gangbang is consent. Fantasy gangbangs can involve whatever turns you on, but any real-life gangbang should require enthusiastic consent from all participants, especially the recipient, the person (usually, but not always, a female) who is at the center of the gangbang.

Otherwise, it’s a gang rape. Even if that turns you on in fantasy, it’s not something to ever participate in reality.

Block Institute Director Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

Institute Director Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

Keep in mind that, for many reasons, feelings of consent can change over the course of a few minutes or hours. So, it’s important to continually “check in” with the recipient to make sure she or he is “all right,” happy and eager for more.

At the first sign of reluctance on the part of the recipient, no matter how turned on everybody else is, the gangbang must stop.

Whether or not the gangbang is a success, it’s important to provide “after care,” especially to the recipient. This could take the form of hugs, drinks, food, help cleaning up, words of appreciation, a massage or whatever the recipient enjoys.

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Need advice preparing your next gangbang soirée?
We’ll help you to make sure it’s a success for all concerned.
Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

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Are You a Cuckold?

Cuckold” is an old English term for a man whose wife (often called a “hotwife”) has sex with other men (called “bulls”). In the 21st century, there has been a resurgence of interest in the cuckold’s predicament, cuckold sex, cuckold fantasies, cuckold erotica, hot wives, big bulls, sperm wars and the cuckold lifestyle.

There’s also the cuckold gangbang, when the hotwife has sex with several bulls at one time. The gangbang may or may not include the cuckold himself.

There are many types of cuckolds: Submissive Cuckolds, Dominant Cuckolds, Sissy Cuckolds, Fantasy Cuckolds, Sapiosexual Cuckolds, Interracial Cuckolds, Small-Cock Cuckolds, Bi-Curious Cuckolds, Swinger Cuckolds, Spanked Cuckolds, Cuckolds-in-Bondage, Cuckolds-in-Chastity, Director Cuckolds, Cuckold Voyeurs, Cuckold Exhibitionists, Cheated-On Cuckolds, Trans Cuckolds, Reluctant Cuckolds, Humiliated Cuckolds, Happy Cuckolds and many more varieties.

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Along with the growing popularity of cuckolding, there has been a growing acceptance of it as a “normal” sexual interest, even if it’s enhanced with a gangbang, as long as it’s all consensual.

Nevertheless, many men feel ashamed of their desire to be cuckolded, perhaps especially if it involves a gangbang. Such men tend to feel a whole lot better when they learn the “sperm wars” biological explanation for their desires, as well as just how common and “normal” these desires are.

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Need to talk about sperm wars, cuckolding or gangbangs?
Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213-291-9497.

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Group Sex & Swinging

There are many forms of group sex, from threesomes to orgies, polyamorous arrangements, swing parties and pansexual celebrations. Gangbangs are another form of group sex.

Group sex might sound very kinky for some, but it fulfills a very natural, human need to share erotic, orgasmic, loving experiences with multiple people, friends, loved ones and attractive strangers.  In a world that increasingly demands compartmentalization and isolation, there are few arenas left in which humans can share in this vital, life-affirming experience of communal ecstasy.

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Different group sex formations are popular, such as the “daisy chain” in which participants perform oral sex on each other in circular formation.  

Some threesomes exhibit a gangbang flair, such as the “spit-roast,” where two males engage a female (or another male), with one penetrating from the rear, usually doggy style, while the female performs fellatio on the other male. There’s also “double-penetration” in which one male penetrates the lady’s vagina while the other enters her anus. If she goes down on another, that’s a triple-penetration.  Add a few more guys around them, watching, stroking themselves and waiting their turn, and you’ve got a classic gangbang.

 

Go Bonobos for Gangbangs

Gangbangs and other forms of group sex are very common amongst our closest genetic cousins, both common chimpanzees—who are more likely do it non-consensually—and especially bonobos —who usually do it with enthusiastic consent and are thus far more worthy of our emulation

In fact, the sexual behavior of all the great apes is a fascinating window into how early human sexual behavior evolved, giving us vital clues as to why gangbangs are so arousing for so many people.

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Many anthropologists agree that prehistoric humans often engaged in various forms of group sex for tens of thousands of years before the advent of farming and “civilization” started pressuring people, especially women, to be sexually monogamous.

Certainly, prehistoric humans participated in consensual gangbangs and other bonoboesque forms of recreational sex that are generally considered taboo in modern human society.

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Do you yearn to liberate your inner bonobo… at least in the Erotic Theater of the Mind?
Call us at 213-291-9497.

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Bukkake Gangbangs

If you’re a porn fan, you probably know that “bukkake” is a Japanese term that refers to spraying the face and body of a person, usually a woman, though sometimes a man, with sperm from one, several or many men. The word actually means “splash” or “squirt” in Japanese. In some bukkake sessions, 150 men ejaculate onto one woman.

That’s some gigantic gangbang!

In American-style bukkake, the recipient acts like she’s enjoying herself, rubbing the sperm into her skin like a beauty treatment.

In Japanese-style bukkake, the recipient is more degraded, often acting like she is an unwilling participant (hopefully, it’s just an act). 

Legend has it that in ancient Japan, an adulterous woman would be dragged into the town square and tied up, whereupon every man in town ejaculated all over her in a frenzied bukkake gangbang. Basically, they seem to have been saying, “If you’re going to take it from a man other than you husband, you’re going to get it from everyone else. You’re going to be gangbanged.”

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Some say it comes from the practice of stoning an unfaithful woman to death, and that bukkake is a “kinder, gentler” chastisement. Whether or not the legends are true, “bukkake” became a form of Japanese porn in the 1980s, grew in popularity, and now if you type “bukkake” into google, you’re likely to get hundreds of sites, even if you don’t spell it right.

Bukkake is so vivid and provocative, it can represent many different ideas and feelings. Years ago, in an antiwar context, I compared the “Shock & Awe” bombing of Iraq with bukkake (the nonconsensual kind) in Bukkake Bombing Crusade.

But back to consensual bukkake (even if it’s made to look forced) where nobody gets killed and, hopefully, everybody has fun and big orgasms, including the recipient.

By far the most common bukkake scenario is a group of males ejaculating on a female, but there are scenes where a group of women gangbang a man or woman, spraying the recipient with female ejaculate.  

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Gay male bukkake gangbangs are also popular in which a group of men gangbang one male recipient, covering him in their creamy spunk.

Just the sight of all that semen can trigger the Sperm Wars effect in many guys—gay, straight or bi.

Banzai!

 

Gangbangs: Natural, Normal…But Not Easy

Just because a desire for gangbangs is natural and popular doesn’t mean it’s easy to make it happen in real life, especially in our erotophobic society. There are many variables with one-on-one sex, and group sex just ratchets up the possibilities for problems as well as pleasure.

For instance, say you’re a man with an intense gangbang fantasy that you’d really like to make happen in real life. But what if the woman (your wife? Your girlfriend? Your sex buddy?) isn’t as enthusiastic about being “gangbanged” as you are about seeing her in that situation? 

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What if you can’t find the right guys? Where do you find them? How do you screen them? How do you handle safer sex? What if, despite the fantasy turning you on, the reality makes you jealous? What if people gossip about it, take photos without your permission or otherwise betray your trust?  How do you mix lust with trust?

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Sometimes it helps to talk freely with someone who understands, won’t judge you and will help you. Whether you need more personalized advice or just want to roleplay a fantasy, call the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213-291-9497

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Are You a Gangbang Goddess?

Are you a woman who wants to be gangbanged? Congratulations! You are a very sexual female, and you deserve to enjoy the tremendous, unparalleled pleasures of group sex.

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The good news is it probably won’t be tough for you to find partners who want to gangbang you. Just post an ad on a swinger site and watch the replies flood your inbox.

The bad news is that it’s not so easy to find partners you really like, feel attraction for and trust with your naked sexuality. It might take some time and patience to mix trust with lust to create the gangbang of your dreams.

Unfortunately, most modern societies around the world denigrate all forms of group sex, including consensual gangbangs. This can make your partner judge you harshly for confessing or expressing your desires. So, it’s usually best that you understand your feelings and the issues involved before divulging too much.

Most importantly, before you plunge into the deep end of gangbanging and group sex, make sure this is something you want to do, not just something your husband or lover wants you to do. Don’t grudgingly “go along” with a scene that doesn’t turn you on, like Paul Manafort’s wife is alleged to have done in their “interracial” gangbangs. Enthusiastic consent—on your part and the part of all involved—is the basis of a great gangbang or any kind of great sex at all.

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Need to talk about how to turn your gangbang fantasy into reality?  Want to find out how to create the ultimate gangbang, whom to invite, what to serve and what to wear? Want to learn more about the origins of your personal gangbang desires? Or do you just want to enjoy guided masturbation as we explore the fantasy together?

Whatever you need to talk about, you can call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute and talk to one of our male, female,  trans or non-binary therapists of all ages over 18 with great gangbang knowledge, experience and erotic appreciation.

Whether you’d like to get a better understanding of your fetish, get some tips for talking to your partner about it, work through past experiences, hear about our  experiences with gangbangs, or just explore gangbangs in the Erotic Theater of the Mind over the phone, via webcam through sext therapy and/or in person, we’re here to help.  Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

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Lingerie Phone Sex Therapy

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Love lingerie?

Like sexy panties, stockings, garter belts, diaphanous robes, cute teddies, slinky slips, bras, corsets, old-fashioned girdles or pantyhose?

What about materials? Do you prefer silky or lacy lingerie, satin, chiffon, nylon, fishnet, latex, spandex or pure simple cotton?

How about colors? Sultry black? Virginal white? Fire-engine red? Classic navy? Sparkly silver or gaudy gold? Passionate purple? Vintage ivory? Hot pink?

Do you love to look at your lovers in lingerie, feel the sensuous material, smell the intimate aroma… or wear it yourself?

Whether you’ve got a full-blown lingerie “fetish” or just an erotic interest, you can talk about it with the lingerie-loving Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime 24/7.

Rest assured, your privacy is paramount, and everything you share with us is absolutely confidential.

Let us help you explore, understand and enjoy your interest in lingerie and anything else you need to talk about that you can’t talk about with anyone else. You can talk to us, and we are here for YOU.

And yes, of course, you can masturbate, if you want, during sessions. And no, there is no sex therapy center or phone sex service quite like ours.

Call us anytime: 213-291-9497.

Dr. Susan Block Institute Director Susan Block, Ph.D., in some of her favorite lingerie. Photo: Jux Lii

Dr. Susan Block Institute Director Susan Block, Ph.D., in some of her favorite hot pink lingerie. Photo: Jux Lii

 

Post-Trump Sex Disorder (PTSD)

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There’s a new kind of PTSD: Post-Trump Sex Disorder

Institute Director Dr. Susan Block talks about this topic briefly in the September 2017 issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine as a “sudden and swift aversion to sex caused by the anger, fear and confusion you’ve absorbed from the current political climate…Women, in particular, have been hit hard by PTSD…When [Trump‘s] crude misogynistic comments were not just ignored but rewarded with the presidency, it made a lot of us feel horrible…. “

PTSD like this can be pretty grim news for our sex lives, among other things, but there is treatment… at least for your sex life. As Dr. Block advises: Turn off the alternative facts,” and tune into real intimacy.

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More practical erotic advice for combating Post-Trump Sex Disorder from Dr. Block in Cosmo: “Protests are powerful… and they can be a great aphrodisiac.”

Need to talk about your PTSD privately? The “Therapists Without Borders” of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you, providing telephone sex therapy, webcam, sext therapy and relationship counseling throughout the Trumpocalpyse. Call us at 213-291-9497 anytime.

Read Dr. Suzy’s “Post-Trump Sex Disorder(s)”

Post-Trump Sex Disorders

Read it on COUNTERPUNCH

READ CHAUNCEY DEVEGA’S INTERVIEW with DR. SUSAN BLOCK on POST-TRUMP SEX DISORDER & Related Topics in SALON

Post-Trump Sex Disorder

Perhaps you need more personalized ideas for putting healthy distance between the “fake news” and your real sex life. Maybe you need a pep talk with an emphasis on female empowerment, or a fantasy roleplay scene in which the erotic and/or political tables are turned. Then again, perhaps you are a Trump supporter who fantasizes about nonconsensual “pussy-grabbing” and/or “fire and fury,” and you crave the spanking or other type of humiliation that’s coming to you.

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Regardless, rest assured that your privacy and confidentiality is absolutely guaranteed.

Need to talk with someone about something you can’t talk about with anyone else? You can talk with us. The world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, available anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day. You can call us at 213.291.9497.

 

Transgender Women

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by Dr. Susan Block.

Transwomen are real women. And yet….

There’s something special about a beautiful woman who knows first-hand what a man likes.

“Transgender Woman” or “MTF” (male-to-female) are the preferred, polite terms for an individual who “transitions from ‘male-to-female,’ meaning a person who was assigned male at birth, but identifies and lives as a female,” according to the National Center for Transgender Equality. Here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, we support the use of these terms in most discourse, especially public forums. As advocates, allies, friends and lovers of many in the transgender community, we believe that respect is vital to those in transition, whether MTF or FTM (female to male).

And yet…

We also understand that slang terms can be more erotic for many people. In a way, it’s like using the word “cock” instead of “penis,” or “slut” instead of “sexually active individual.”

Therefore, though we tend to use the more dignified terms while engaging in serious therapy, couples counseling and discussions of real-life transitioning or transgender dating and relationships, we also use the more slang terms, such as “tranny” or “shemale,”  during erotic conversation, e.g., “dirty talk,” or fantasy roleplay.

Transwomen, trannies, T-Girls, she-males, chicks with dicks, ladyboys, gender benders,  gals with “something extra”…call them what you will (in consensual, private conversation only please!), but pre-op MTF transgender women are what some would say are “the best of both worlds.”

Perhaps you’re already imagining… a soft, feminine face with beautiful breasts… and a rock hard rod.

It’s no wonder that many people, are erotically drawn to pre-op MTF women—either being with them or becoming one of them… or maybe both.

Whether the idea of touching, sucking, rimming or being anally penetrated by a transwoman—or becoming one yourself—seriously interests or just excites you, transgender fantasies are nothing to be ashamed of.

We also totally understand you may be riddled with confusion and humiliation, tormented by your trans desires which so much of society considers “taboo.”

Whether you’re a top or bottom, genderfluid, non-binary conforming, a “genderfuck,” transboi, transgurl or questioning… or if you are interested in being with someone like that, we’re here for you.

Want to explore your forbidden longing to be with a transwoman, but not sure where to start? Gender and “identity politics” have shifted and many people are wondering how to respectfully court, date and have sex with a transgender person. Others just want to enjoy a hot fantasy. We can help you with either one or both.

We can also help if you are seriously considering gender transition for yourself and need to talk with someone knowledgeable about LGBTQ issues. Concerned about looking “passable” or sounding “femme” enough? Have you been outed as transgender at work, or does the possibility of that worry you? Are you and being harassed? Or do you want to spread your wings and fly? Call us. We can help.

Or, on the other hand, if you don’t want to transition in real life, but just imagining being a woman turns you on, we can help you enjoy a Trans MTF fantasy beyond your wildest dreams right over the phone. Then again, maybe you have no desire to fully transition, even in fantasy, but you do enjoy crossdressing, role reversal or being feminized. We can help with that too.

No matter what your problem, question or desire, rest assured that your confidentiality is absolutely guaranteed.

Need to talk with someone about something you can’t talk about with anyone else? You can talk with us. The world-famous telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences are just a phone call away, available anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day. You can call us at 213.291.9497.

Celebrity Fantasies

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213.291.9497

by Dr. Susan Block.

Do you have a secret crush on a sexy celebrity? You are not alone. Celebrity fantasizing is extremely common. Studies show that up to thirty-three percent of the human population fantasizes about famous people when masturbating. Sexual fantasies about well-known figures in film, music, politics, YouTube, fashion, sports or porn can be exciting, arousing, vicariously glamorous and sometimes even empowering. In many cases, partners can enjoy lighthearted celebrity sex fantasies together.  But for some, fantasizing about celebrities can cause tremendous shame, obsessive desires that can be difficult to manage, as well as disruption or inhibition of real-life love and happiness.

Why do you fantasize about famous people?

“But WHY am I sexually obsessed with this celebrity?” you may ask, and there are many possible answers to this question. Perhaps the object of your obsession reflects your personal ideal of what you’d like in a partner.  Then again, it could also be that the celebrity represents the opposite of the values than you were raised to uphold, which makes them “forbidden fruit,” different, desirable, erotically exotic and enticingly unattainable.  

You may feel that you know your favorite famous person better than you know your own real-life lover(s), even though you actually don’t know your beloved celebrity at all. The sheer accessibility of public figures – images, videos and details about their private lives – coupled with their actual, physical inaccessibility (some are surrounded by bodyguards) provides fertile ground for sexual fantasies to blossom.

With pornography so pervasive, it’s no wonder than many people’s fantasies revolve around adult performers, maybe even more than mainstream celebrities. Moreover, with porn stars, you get to know even more physical details, especially regarding their genitalia and erotic responses. Watching people have sex, often in close-up, as you masturbate, can make you feel incredibly close to the performer, without knowing him or her at all.

Then again, you might have intense sexual fantasies about celebrities who do not try to present themselves in an erotic light, for example, newscasters, daytime talk show hosts, famous doctors, religious leaders or professional athletes. The sky’s the limit when it comes to imagining sex among the stars.

However, not all celebrity fantasy is about having sex. Many people imagine platonic “special friend” relationships with famous people, or even familial ones.  Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, and everybody who watches a film or follows someone they don’t know on social media is, to some extent, fantasizing about celebrities. It’s when the fantasy gets “out of control” and wreaks havoc with your reality, that the illusions can become a problem for you or others.

Another form of celebrity fantasy is to imagine that you are the famous person that you admire. This could be an actor, a rock star, a porn star, a politician or a preacher. You might imagine living that person’s life instead of your own and even having sex as that celebrity, instead of as yourself. Very often, celebrity fantasies like these can be empowering, as the celebrity becomes a kind of role model in your mind. This sort of roleplay can enhance your sexual prowess and confidence. However, constantly imagining you are someone else can inhibit you from enjoying your own life.

Whether sexual, platonic, romantic or pornographic, if your celebrity fantasies are causing problems in your life, and you feel you need to talk about them, the therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here for you, 24/7, wherever you are, and whatever the nature of your celebrity fantasies. We can help you sort through whatever problems might arise from them, or if, on the other hand, you feel you don’t have problems with your celebrity fantasies, we can help you to explore them in various ways, including roleplay in the Erotic Theater of the Mind, over the phone or via webcam, helping you to use your celebrity fantasies to enhance your own sexuality, and maybe even improve your life.  Call us anytime you need to talk at 213-291-9397.

Who knows, we might even be able to get you together – on the phone, cam or in person – with the celebrity of your dreams. We know a lot of people in Hollywood and around the world, and we’ve done it before. No guarantees, but it’s also true that almost everyone has a price… especially celebrities.

What if your celebrity fantasies are ruining your life?

Does your fantasy of a spicy threesome with David and Victoria Beckham make your real sex life pale in comparison? With Brangelina broken up, do you dream or making either of them whole again, to the point that what happened to them is on the verge of happening to you?

Perhaps you’re more dazzled by the more flagrant allure of porn stars. Is your interest in penetrating every hole of Penthouse Pet Layla Sin or your MILF fantasy with Nina Hartley putting a damper on your desire for your real life partner? Do you want to play with Isiah Maxwell’s 11 inch joystick so bad that you can’t find joy in what you have?

Maybe politicians turn you on. Do you imagine exchanging tighty-whitey shots with Anthony Weiner? Or maybe you yearn to have your own ‘Lewinsky’ moment, but include Hillary in the party this time? Even if you want to hump Trump… no topic is off limits in the Erotic Theater of the Mind. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

Then again, maybe your constant fantasizing about Kim leaving Kanye to start a new family with you is ruining the family you actually have. Would you rather masturbate alone to your fantasies about your crush than share intimacy with your partner? Do you find that you can’t get aroused without focusing on your fantasy? No, it doesn’t mean you’re a “sex addict.” But you might need some experienced and understanding help with sorting things out, which we can provide here at the Block Institute.

Some other markers to help you decide if you need help are:

– if you can’t concentrate on your work because your mind is filled with your favorite celebrity

– if you shun most social contact, preferring isolation so you can be alone with your fantasy

– if you find yourself feeling very emotional about your celebrity crush, such as being jealous of their real-life partner, angry that they never respond to you on social media or depressed that they are not part of your real life

– if you are spending hours stalking your crush online or in real life, trying to physically go places where you think they will be

– if you feel guilty about your fantasies, as if you’re cheating on your actual partner

Though celebrity fantasies are usually harmless and can even be beneficial, “celebrity worship syndrome” (defined, in part, by the above markers) is an obsessive disorder in which the “worshipper” becomes perilously involved with the details of a celebrity’s personal life. Obviously stalking your favorite famous person is dangerous, criminal and could land you in jail. But the fallout from your celebrity obsession could be more subtle than that.

Whether your erotic obsession is with Bonnie Rotten or Pope Francis, if that “ideal” is keeping you from connecting with someone real, remember: The Ideal is the Enemy of the Real. And consider: you might benefit from some therapy.

If your fantasies are becoming problematic for you, your loved ones—or the celebrities themselves!—the therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help. Call us anytime at 213.291.9497.

What if your fantasies are contrary to your sexual orientation?

Does Woody Harrelson give you a woody even though you’re straight? Or maybe a certain ‘real housewife’ has you secretly questioning your relationship with your real husband. Enjoying homoerotic celebrity fantasies does not necessarily mean that you’d be interested in pursuing a same-sex relationship in real life. Then again, it just might

One reason you could have same-sex celebrity fantasies is that many cultures and social constructs consider homosexuality unacceptable, and engaging in something taboo can be exciting.  On the flip side, if you identify as gay, but fantasize about straight sex with celebrities, your natural bi-curiosity does not necessarily mean that is your “true” sexual identity. That’s one of the benefits of celebrity sex fantasies: they help you to explore your sexual fluidity with someone you feel like you know, even though you really don’t, in the Erotic Theater of the Mind.

Need to talk about it? Our therapists are available to help you explore. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

Fantasizing about celebrities can be a normal and beneficial sexual outlet whether you’re single or married, male or female, young or old, straight, gay, bisexual or transsexual. There are healthy ways to explore your dreams and desires, no matter how outrageous or out-of-reach they might seem in your everyday life.

The therapists of the Block Institute provide a safe, comfortable and absolutely confidential environment to experiment with your favorite celebrity fantasies any which way you like. There are healthy ways to indulge in your fantasy life without doing harm in your real life. Imagine the fun of creating a movie in your mind with you as the star and your celebrity crush as the erotic interest – and of course you get the girl (or guy)! The experienced and understanding sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute can play out your fantasies with Erotic Theater Therapy, used in combination with other more traditional forms of sex counseling, helping you to enjoy living your Hollywood sex dream in your mind and still keep your real life on track. 

Whatever your desires, questions or concerns, we’re here to help, 24 hours a day.  Call us anytime at 213-291-9497.

 

 

BODY SHAME & Other Body Image Issues

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by Dr. Susan Block.

A vital part of good sex involves feeling… well, sexy.  While some of that feeling is purely mental or spiritual, a large part of it is physical. That includes feeling attracted to your partner’s body, if you have a partner. And it means feeling good about your own body, whether you have a partner or not.

Do you feel good about your body? Do you feel sexy in your skin? Or do you have “body image” issues that interfere with your ability to relax and enjoy yourself during sex?

Anxious About Your Body… or Body Parts?

“Body image issues” encompass a wide spectrum of concerns and worries that plague women, men and transgender people of all ages, creeds and colors, in every culture around the globe. For most of us, these are relatively trivial concerns, but for some, body image issues morph into body shame, weighing us down to the point that we feel that we can’t pursue or enjoy sex at all.

Do you have a body image issue? Perhaps you feel you are too heavy or too thin, too tall or too short. A woman might worry that her breasts are too small or too large, that her thighs are too wide, her butt is too narrow, her face is too old or her feet are too big, and the list goes on.

A man is more likely to be anxious about his height, and an even more common male concern is that his penis is not big enough. Freud said women had “penis envy,” but it’s more often men who are envious of other men’s members, especially when they are larger, or perceived to be larger. This is another body image issue that has a lot to do with perception. Even men with average or above-average-sized endowments may feel deep shame and a sense of humiliation over what they perceive to be sexual inadequacies.

Transgender people might fret that they can’t “pass,” that they have too much or too little body hair, that they are not feminine or masculine enough to fit the ideal that’s in their mind of the gender to which they are transitioning.

While it’s good to have ideals in life, some physical ideals can drive us crazy with debilitating anxiety, impossible goals and enervating shame. After all, the ideal is the enemy of the real, especially when it comes to sex and love.

Has someone in authority criticized your body or body parts? Have they judged you, made demeaning comments, touched or lusted after your body inappropriately or uncomfortably when you were a child? Then you’re more likely to have body image issues, especially if you’re trying to conform to unrealistic ideals.

Hollywood & Porn

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying Hollywood entertainment or pornography, and doing so doesn’t make you a “romance junkie” or “sex addict.” However, both tend to exacerbate our body image issues. Millions of women look at film stars and feel unattractive by comparison. A similar amount of men tend to compare themselves to porn stars, usually coming up short—literally—or so they feel.

Most of us harbor insecurities about how we appear to others, as well as frustration with how we look to ourselves. It’s only human to be a bit dissatisfied with your looks and physical attributes, at least sometimes. Everybody has a body, and most of us have body image issues, at least at some point in our lives.

But if your body image issues are interfering with your ability to share and enjoy the pleasures of life, especially the joys of sex, love and affection, you might benefit from getting some perspective by talking about these issues with a good therapist who understands.

The “Therapists Without Borders” of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are here to help you with your body image issues, as well as other sex and relationship concerns, anytime you need to talk 24/7. Call us at 213-291-9497.

Accept Yourself and Your Body

When your mind is tortured, or even just distracted, by your body images concerns, you are not able to enjoy your sexual experience to the fullest. Nor are you the best sex partner you can be.

Through various traditional and unorthodox programs and techniques, including bonobo liberation therapy, life coaching, erotic theater therapy, sensate focus, guided masturbation, erotic hypnosis and more, we can help you to accept your body as it is—with all its so-called “flaws”—so that you can start enjoying better sex and, in the process, become a better, more open and exciting sexual partner.

Need to talk about it now? We’re here for you 24/7. Call 213-291-9597 and we will put you through to a therapist who can help you with your body image issues and more.

Body Shame

Do you feel that your naked physical body is “dirty”? Maybe you don’t have problems with your body shape or size, but you do have issues of “body shame,” perhaps related to a strict, religious upbringing or other anti-sex, anti-body messages from childhood.

Sexual assault, whether in childhood or adulthood, can also tremendously affect our comfort with our bodies. It’s hard to feel good about your body when that same body has been used and abused by others, even if that abuse was in the distant past.

Sex-negativity and poor body image issues are completely understandable in a sex abuse or trauma survivor. Just knowing that, however, doesn’t make these issues much easier to handle, especially if and when they *ruin* an otherwise positive erotic experience. However, identifying your personal, problematic body image issues is the first step towards healing and empowering your sexual self.

Need to talk about it? Whether you are a survivor of religious, familial or any other kind of sexual abuse, if you want to develop a positive body image and the happy, healthy sex life you deserve, we can help. The caring, knowledgeable therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute can guide you toward enjoying a healthier relationship with your body.   And you can call us anytime, 24 hours a day, at 213-291-9497.

What About Changing Your Body for the Better?

Most body image issues are “in your head.” But if you’re truly obese, anorexic, bulimic or dangerously out of shape, perhaps you should make some changes. None of this means you should put your sex life on hold; on the contrary! Exploring your sexuality at a pace that’s right for you can help you to lose or gain weight and get healthier and fit.

Whether your change “for the better” requires moral support during your transgender process, or getting fit and healthy, our therapists are ready to assist you in making your transition to the body you desire, as well as expressing and exploring your sexuality to the fullest in the body you are in right now.

If discussing these topics is difficult for you, rest assured that you are in good hands. Our therapists are here for you, whether or not your body shame is just “in your head.” We will help you to have the best, most fulfilling sex and love life that you can have, enjoying your body, yourself and your life.

Let’s talk about it. Call us anytime at 213.2991.9497.

8 Great Benefits of Masturbation

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by Dr. Susan Block

It’s Masturbation Month, a time to honor and extol the virtues of sex-for-one. Virtues? For centuries, masturbation has been denigrated as self-abuse. However, more and more, we are calling it what it is: self-pleasure. It feels good. And it is good. But what is it good for? A lot more than you can stuff in a hand basket. But the following are 8 great basic benefits to masturbation, wanking, jacking off, jilling off, walking the dog, polishing the pearl, spanking the monkey, dancing around the Maypole, sexual solitaire, self-pleasure or, as Doonesbury calls it, ”self-dating,” starting with the fact that….

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  1. Masturbation is Natural.

Bonobos do it.  So do dolphins, horses, dogs, kangaroos, porcupines and most other animals, including humans. Ultrasounds show us that many fetuses-in-utero put their tiny hands between their little legs… and masturbate.

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  1. Masturbation is Convenient.

As Truman Capote once wisely pointed out, “You don’t have to dress up for it.” Come as you are. The Greek philosopher Diogenes praised the extraordinary physical efficiency of masturbation: “Would to heaven that it were enough to rub one’s stomach in order to allay one’s hunger.” The folks who brought the world democracy understood the powerful, positive benefits of solo sex. So did their gods. Maybe we should too.

 

Discussing the benefits of self-pleasure while riding a Sybian. Photo: Ono Bo

Teaching the benefits of self-pleasure while riding a Sybian on The Dr. Susan Block Show. Photo: Ono Bo

 

 

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  1. Masturbation is Ecosexual.

Though masturbation has been called “self-pollution,” it actually produces very little real pollution (unless you toss your tissues out the car window). Regardless, masturbation is a great form of population control. You won’t get pregnant from it. Do it in the great outdoors (but not in a park where you’ll get arrested), and feel at-one-with-nature. Love the Earth You Make Love On. Just watch out for the poison oak. Also, some fruits and vegetables seem shaped for masturbation. Try a nice cucumber or turnip—Nature’s Own Dildos!

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  1. Masturbation is Safe.

As long as you’re not playing auto-asphyxiation games or sticking lightbulbs up your rectum, you won’t get hurt. As long as you’re just using your own toys or putting condoms on the ones you share, you won’t get an STD. Even more important, you won’t hurt other people. Just in case you’re clueless about consent, masturbation keeps you from raping anyone. If you have problematic sexual desires, if you want to do illegal, immoral, nonconsensual things to people, just don’t do them! Masturbate.

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  1. Masturbation is Relaxing.

Partner sex is more romantic, but it can be stressful in ways that masturbation is not. Director Milos Foreman said, “What I like about masturbation: You don’t have to talk afterwards.” No pressure. Just pleasure. Much like partner sex, orgasms through masturbation can relax you deeply, release your stress and help you to get the deep rest that your body needs.

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  1. Masturbation is Educational.

When it comes to learning your own turn-ons physically and mentally, you can’t beat masturbation education. You can use your self-pleasure time to practice your kegels, tantric breathing or the stop-start technique. You can test new sex toys more easily when solo-sexing than when you’re with a partner. But mutual masturbation is also educational: show and tell your partner what you like. Talk about home schooling! You won’t want to play hooky from this.

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  1. Masturbation is Healthy.

Masturbation, especially when climaxing with a good heart-pumping orgasm, is a great cardio workout, good for your heart rate, blood pressure and brain chemistry. It also protects against yeast infections in women and prostate cancer in men, not to mention, masturbation releases mood-boosting endorphins, and it can clear your sinuses, at least temporarily. It also keeps you in shape for partner sex. “Use it or lose it!” they say, and masturbation uses it. Self-pleasure is healing in a million different ways, physical and mental. Heal your sexual shame through self-pleasure! Most importantly, masturbation will not kill you. Auto-asphyxiation notwithstanding, nobody dies from masturbation.

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  1. Masturbate: Know Thy Sexual Self!

Nobody talks about it, but the longest term relationship you’ll ever have with anyone is the one you have with yourself. So why not make it a good one? Masturbation enables you get to “Know Thyself” (with a hat tip to Socrates), sexually speaking. So, get into it, and get to know you. Treat yourself. Just for a few moments, focus on your pleasure without worrying about anyone else but you. Turn self-pleasure into self-love. And no, that doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you feel good. And when you feel good, you’re more likely to be good to others.

Merry Masturbation Month from Bonoboville. Photo: Jux Lii

Merry Masturbation Month from Bonoboville. Photo: Jux Lii

So go ahead and spank that monkey shamelessly, at least through Masturbation Month. Make love to someone you love… even if that someone is you.

And if you need a hand—a friendly, supportive, knowledgeable, sex-educational guide into your self-pleasure exploration or celebration—the sex Therapists Without Borders of the Block Institute are just a phone call away. Call 213-291-9497

© May 1, 2016. Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950.

Bondage Phone Sex Therapy

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by Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

Freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac, but restraint is a close second.

Do you like to be tied up by a Dominant Mistress or Master? Do you enjoy erotic bondage, handcuffs, shackles, ropes, collars, straightjackets, spreader bars, harnesses or four of “Christian’s” grey silk ties fastened securely around your wrists and ankles? How about being blindfolded, hooded, muzzled, dominated, restrained by a ball gag, locked up in a chastity belt, strapped down to a medical examination table, put into a posture collar, led around on a leash, shut up in a cage, zipped into a sleep sack, suspended from the ceiling, put into a sling, turned into a piece of human art with beautiful Japanese Shibari rope work, tied spread-eagle to a four-poster bed or latched onto a St. Andrews’s Cross while being spanked or flogged?  Do you get aroused by bondage—in fantasy or reality… or perhaps a bit of both?

Sexy consensual bondage games are not unusual. People have been incorporating erotic restraint into sexual play since before there were people! Non-human animals, like bonobos, indulge in consensual erotic bondage games when they playfully hold each other down during sex, a fairly frequent occurrence. We know it’s “consensual” since sometimes it’s the smaller bonobo “holding down” the bigger, stronger bonobo. Humans practice consensual bondage play even more, partly because our great ingenuity has enabled us to create so many elaborate and effective bondage devices.

Though many erotica and bondage experts don’t appreciate the superficial and sometimes wrongheaded style of 50 Shades of Grey, the huge worldwide popularity of the 50 Shades books and films, has given bondage a new level of acceptance and respectability, both in mainstream society and in the media.

Nevertheless, bondage or “BDSM” (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & submission and Sadomasochism) is still controversial and quite taboo in most human communities, making it a very difficult world to navigate or even talk about for many people.

Whatever your bondage fantasy or reality, the world-famous telephone sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, including several BDSM specialists and experienced FemDoms, Dominant males and submissives, are just a phone call away. Anytime you need to talk, 24 hours a day, we’re here for you. Call us now at 213.291.9497.

Institute Director Dr. Susan Block.

Institute Director Dr. Susan Block.

Exploring fantasies is a great way to start your BDSM adventures. The safe, consensual exploration of domination fantasies can be a fantastic, peaceful channel for some people’s violent impulses, preventing them from actually hurting anyone, including themselves. It can involve sexual psychodrama, safely releasing aggressive forces that lurk deep in our subconscious where they can be more destructive. BDSM can even help to reduce domestic violence. If it can help keep bonobos from killing each other, maybe it can even help humans to create peace on Earth.

While “surrender” means defeat in war or business, in LOVE or sex, surrender can be sweet, and the ultimate expression of intimate fulfillment. Since society puts such pressure on all of us–male and female–to be powerful, to achieve and to succeed, deep in our erotic imaginations, many of us may long to surrender.

In bondage (even consensual bondage), the submissive is “forced” to surrender.

This creates some very interesting sexual dynamics. The ancient Taoist masters say, “In yielding, there is strength.” In surrender, there can be power. Many strong men fantasize about surrender, about being a sex object–being seduced, spanked, pegged, ravished, even raped–“forced” to perform various sexual acts, often while in some sort of restraint.

Considering how many ladies balk at being considered sex objects (though many enjoy it too), this may sound silly to some women, but lots of men crave it, within certain boundaries, of course. Some men find that being dominated, especially when tied up, actually removes performance anxiety. After all, if you can’t move, you can’t perform, so what’s there to be anxious about?

Some guys love to struggle against their restraints, building a rush of adrenaline, then surrendering to ecstasy. It’s a form of athletic eroticism that many great athletes adore. After a big win on the football field or basketball court, they relax by “losing” to a sexy Mistress or Master who puts them in bondage and dominates them into blissfulness.

Of course, many women (and men) are frightened by a man’s submissive desires. They are afraid that because he craves surrender, he is not much of a man. They think he must be some kind of wimp or weirdo, which is one reason that many men find it difficult, if not impossible to talk about their desires for bondage or submission with the women they love.

In reality, it’s mostly high-powered men who yearn to surrender sexually.  Perhaps this is because nature seeks a balance, but many successful businessmen, weary of their responsibilities and stresses, long to be infantilized, objectified, taken advantage of, to surrender control for a brief period in their day or heavy work week, a vacation from responsibility, a chance to be a little boy again, or maybe a girl.

Many submissives just want someone sexy to push them into doing things they’re afraid to do on their own. Some find that fear increases arousal. A little fear enhances sex like a little seasoning spices your meal, but remember… too much spice spoils the meat.

Some men long to surrender to an exciting woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it–or even demand it–from them. Many enjoy anal penetration, the body’s ultimate surrender, often combined with a form of bondage. Some respond to humiliation fantasies, being “forced” to do embarrassing things, to atone for their “sin” of arousal.

Some like to be spanked. Sometimes, though not always, this is because they were spanked as children. Partly because our society is so negative about sex, many people—men and women–fantasize about being punished, or forced against their will to have sex, often involving some kind of bondage. That way, they don’t feel so responsible and can just relax and enjoy the sensations. Now, of course, just because someone has a rape fantasy does not mean they really want to be raped. Nobody really wants to be raped. But lots of people fantasize about it. And consensual bondage provides a plausible, relatively safe “setting” for such a fantasy.

A word to the wise: Learn what you’re doing before you do too much! Read books on the subject of your interest, take a class and/or study under a knowledgeable Master or Mistress.

BDSM, like mountain climbing, skydiving and driving a car, can be dangerous if not done properly. Be careful about what you do and with whom you do it.

What if your desires are more dominant? As long as your real-life activity is “safe, sane and consensual,” there’s nothing wrong with expressing your Dominant desires. But the requirement to learn what you’re doing–whether you’re putting your slave in bondage or getting her or him out of it very quickly in an emergency–is even more important when you want to dominate.Keep in mind that it may seem like the dominant partner is in control, but it should be that the submissive’s threshold of pain that is the determining factor.

In fantasy, where we use our brains and words to live out these desires in the erotic theater of the mind, these safety rules do not apply; the sky’s the limit, and you don’t even have to know how to tie a knot.

Then again, there are also different types of “emotional bondage” or “mind control,” sometimes involving erotic hypnosis, which can be just as restraining in fantasy as reality.

It can be very confusing… and arousing! So if you need to talk about it privately, whatever your bondage fantasy or reality might be, the world-famous telephone sex therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute, including several BDSM specialists, experienced Dominants and submissives, are just a phone call away. Anytime you need to talk or webcam, 24 hours a day, we’re here for you, and you can call us at 213.291.9497.

Breast Fetish Therapy

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What is it about a pair of beautiful breasts that makes most men and a lot of women go gaga with desire?

Many an otherwise reasonable gentleman’s life virtually revolves around his pursuit of the perfect breasts (big or small, but usually big)…the supreme bazoombahs!  Gazangas!  Tatas!  Mammas!  The typical “breast man” will probably snort with denial if anyone suggests that his intense interest in a lady’s ample mammaries have anything to do with his desire to suckle up to Mama, but what does he know?  After all, the glorification of the female breast as a sex symbol, as opposed to a maternal image, is so pervasive in the West, especially in America, most of us forget that boobs are not genitalia.

Indeed, the most acceptable all-American fetish is the one so many good old boys have for ladies’ chests.  Though for some men, the adoration of the feminine bust is nothing less than the Holy Grail, it is, of course, a fetish, along the same lines as a foot or bun fetish, since the female rack is no more involved with sexual reproduction than the feet or buns.  Breasts are far more essential to nurturing than to sexual intercourse. And therein lays the infantile origin of the breast fetish.  That deep need we all have for deep nurturance.  Sustenance.  Comfort.  Food.  The breast is food, after all.  It is that unique part of a lady’s body that actually creates food—the ultimate comfort food—the milk of life and love…and fetishes.  Mmmmm….No wonder nipples are so suckable, even for grown-ups with no serious “Mommy issues”!

So what do you like about breasts (everything)?  Hard nipples? Mesmerizing areolas? Do you prefer a nice, soft, squeezable, all-natural bosom?  Or do you go for surgically enhanced “porn star boobs”?  Do you like them small, medium or large? How about XXXtra large?  Are you more turned on by bare breasts, or boobies in bras? Or do you just love the slow sensuous reveal, the tease of the striptease?  How about devastating cleavage? Pierced nipples? Lactating moo-moos? Wet T-shirt? Tied up torpedoes? Bouncing bazooms? Teenage Lewinskies or a mature MiLF’s mamaloogas? Girlfriend goombas? Do you like perky titties that seem to reach for the sky or flapdoodle boobies that swing back and forth like baby seals at play?

When you encounter a “nice pair,” what do you like to do with them?  Cuddle, suckle, tweak or kiss? Do you long to rest your weary head against a sumptuous dairy pillow?  Would you rather worship a set of sexy  breasts or slap them (consensually, of course)?  Do you enjoy intermammary intercourse, or as the Latins call it, coitus a mammalia, the act of ejaculating between the boobs?  The lady generally leans backward as the gentleman places his penis between her jugs and thrusts, the lady controlling the pressure by pushing her soft mounds together, squeezing his shaft until he gives her a  “pearl necklace.”  Or do you just like to watch a busty lady show off her assets?

One of the most famous American breast fetishists was the notably eccentric, hugely wealthy Howard Hughes. Hughes was an only child and very attached to his doting mama Allene who died when he was sixteen (fertile ground for mother issues and a breast fetish).  Hughes used his extensive power and money to seduce hundreds of big-busted showgirls and movie stars, including the famously voluptuous Jane Russell (pictured above in Outlaw), in his passionate search for the perfect pillowy bosom against which to rest his weary, mother-issue-ridden head.  After viewing rushes of Russell in Macao, Hughes wrote a three-page memo detailing what kind of bra she should wear to enhance her sumptuous bazooms.

Send us a memo on the perfect pair for you, and give us a call anytime for webcam, sext or phone sex therapy.  Whether you need help with a serious sexual problem or you’d just like to roleplay a fantasy, we’re here for you, anytime you need to talk (or webcam) 24/7.  Whatever your pleasure or concern, if you need to talk about it, you can call the breast fetish specialist  sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

Exhibitionism Therapy

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Show off!

So what if you are? We all go through life performing. Being the center of attention, erotic or otherwise, can boost your ego. On the other hand, it can also be embarrassing. It is always, at its essence, revealing.

Some people spend their careers in the spotlight, like athletes, comedians, actors… and that special class of actors… no, not reality TV starsporn stars—the most uninhibited exhibitionists of all. They know full well the erotic charge of exposing their bodies, alone or in explicit performance with someone else, for an appreciative audience.

But what about you?  Do you ever feel like you want to be a star, sexually speaking? Do you like to show off? To show it off?  What does it mean to be seen? 

To be seen is to be immortal, if only for a moment, through the eyes of another.  Triumphant. Shining like a star.  Recognized. Celebrated. For that moment, you rule the world.

Or maybe you’re a more mischievous exhibitionist. Do you like to play? Shake your booty? Strike a sultry pose for the camera? Strut your stuff through cyberspace? Undress in front of your window with the curtains open?  Get “caught in the act” of doing something naughty?

Do you fantasize that people are watching you, whether you’re by yourself or with someone else, engaging in the most intimate and erotic of human activities? How about exposing yourself to a stranger?  How about millions of strangers clicking their mice in rhythm to your thunderous orgasm?  Marilyn Monroe fantasized about being nude on the pulpit of her Church worshiped by the congregation.  So, what about you?  Are you Marilyn? 

If so, there are places for you to take it off for an appreciative audience.  Maybe not too many churches, but there are lots of strip clubs, swing parties, The Dr. Susan Block Show, festivals, parades, nudist beaches and many other venues and events centered around the promotion and consensual enjoyment of public exhibitionism.  Here is where your exhibitionism, as long as you are reasonably attractive, will be welcome and applauded.

But what if you’re not exactly Marilyn?  What if you’re not so attractive, at least not in the conventional sense, but you still yearn to show off like a shining star?  What should you do?  And what if your preferred form of exhibitionism involves exposing yourself where you’re not necessarily so “welcome,” where exposure is taboo?  What if you’re excited by the possibility of getting caught with your proverbial pants down? What if you’re a “naughty exhibitionist”?

Well….are you a naughty exhibitionist?  Have you ever masturbated with your door unlocked, knowing that at any moment your roommate, your sister, the babysitter, your neighbor, your wife’s best friend, the maid, your executive assistant, your mother-in-law or even your mom, could walk in and find you jerking away? How shocked would she be? Can you imagine the look on her face?  Maybe she’d like it… maybe it would even turn her on, and then maybe it would turn into the most amazing sex you’ve ever had.  Then again, maybe she’d be upset and punish, dominate or humiliate you in a really hot way, spank you or maybe crossdress you or take a photo of you and post it online.  Then again, maybe not… In fantasy, it might always be exciting, but in real life, it can turn into a real mess…

Not that there’s anything really wrong or unethical about public exposure or masturbation, at least not in our opinion, as long as only consenting adults are involved.  It might be annoying, but it doesn’t really hurt others, like stealing, assault, or other violent crimes do. But most societies consider “public indecency” a crime by law and, if you do get caught showing off in the real world, you know it wouldn’t be anywhere near as fun as the fantasy. Court time, court costs, jail time, public ridicule (which is very different and a lot more problematic than a “public disgrace” or humiliation fantasy) or, possibly the loss of your job, or family. Not very arousing or appealing, is it?

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When politicians show off their exhibitionism, publicly or privately, they risk “public disgrace” in various forms.  One of the most dramatic stories of political erotic exhibitionism is right in the Bible. In 2 Samuel 6:12-22, after King David captures Jerusalem, he dances in front of the Ark, wearing nothing but a loincloth (the Biblical version of a thong). Though David pleases the crowd with his exhibitionist antics and gifts of cake and dates, his wife Michal sneers at him like he’s no better than a Peeping Tom. “How the King of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!”

David doesn’t care. He is the King, after all. The exhibitionist revelations of modern leadersfrom Weiner to Trumpare a lot more complex.

So this simple desire to be seen is not always so simple to fulfill.  Do you know what we mean?  Do you enjoy exhibitionism?  Do you need to talk about it? Whether you need serious therapy to help you control your desire to expose yourself nonconsensually, a fun fantasy to help you explore the pleasures of exhibitionism, or if there’s something else you need to talk about, the world-renowned webcam and telephone sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are just a phone call away.  You can talk to Dr. Block herself or to one of our other therapists, each excellent in her or his specialty.  You can also arrange for an in-person appointment at our offices in Los Angeles, and our webcam, sext and phone sex therapy services are open anytime 24/7.  Call us from anywhere in the world at 213.291.9497

And yes, you can masturbate, if you want, during sessions.  And no, there is no other sex therapy or phone sex service quite like ours.  Our form of sex therapy is unique in that we can discuss and help you with your real-life situations, and/or we can enter the Erotic Theater of the Mind (your mind or ours, or a combination) and roleplay your exhibitionistic fantasies—even the forbidden kind that would get you into serious trouble if acted out in real life.  In fact, one of our specialties is “the forbidden,” the stuff you can’t talk about to anyone else.  After all, pretty much everything is safe on the phone—where you can close your eyes and fantasize the wildest scenes possible through the hidden camera of your imagination. Moreover, your secrets are safe with us.  Therapy with the Institute is completely private, discreet and confidential.  Of course, we can’t tell you their names, but we count many celebrities and world leaders among our clients, so we understand the importance of strict confidentiality.  We have been around and we intend to stay around, and we value your privacy as we value our reputation.

Exhibitionist phone sex therapy is fun, satisfying, edifying, defuses problematic desires (so you’re less likely to get into trouble) and often leads to great insights into your sexuality and other aspects of your deeper self.  We’ve found the phone—private, intimate and essentially non-visual—to be an excellent vehicle for this kind of erotic insight.  Then again, exhibitionism is primarily a visual interest, and you can also enjoy a very personal exhibitionistic experience tailored to your desires with one of our webcam sex therapists.

Whatever your exhibitionistic pleasure or problem, we’re here for you, 24/7, every day and night, including holidays, whether you need to talk…or be watched.  Give us a call anytime at 213.291.9497.

 

 

Voyeurism Sex Therapy

voyeur-therapy

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“All the world’s a stage” (Shakespeare’s As You Like It), on which some of us love to play, and some of us prefer to watch. The players tend to get the glory, but without an audience there’s not much of a show.

Let’s face it: lots of us like to watch. We’re not talking Shakespeare here, though that can be erotic as well… we’re talking about sex. We’re talking about the thrill of watching another’s most intimate activities, getting turned on by seeing someone else get turned on.

Would you say this is you? If so, you might be a voyeur. Everyone’s a little bit of one, at least. We can all get turned on by the sight of something or someone really sexy.  But some of us are more voyeuristic than others.  Some of us like to cultivate our voyeuristic tendencies like wine connoisseurs cultivate their palettes, tasting different vintages.  Perhaps you like to look through the silver screen into erotic worlds you’ve never seen. Maybe it’s a film or a digital stream on your computer or phone. Porn, after all, is the most common kind of erotic voyeurism going on in the modern world. And despite its popular explosion in the early 21st Century, visual erotica has been with us since humanity first started cave painting.

Then again, maybe you like to see it live, perhaps in a strip club, or fantasize about the quintessential live sex performance, with you sitting back like a sultan with your harem of exhibitionistic sex performance artists titillating your fancy in every way imaginable to delight your eyes and ears.  Then again, maybe your favorite type of voyeurism is a bit more secretive. Do you like to sneak a peak through a keyhole, a hole in a shower wall or up through the floorboards of an old porch, like a child discovering something naughty?  Do you like to look through your neighbor’s window, catching them in an intimate moment: a couple arguing and then making passionate love, a he-man flexing his naked muscles in his home gym, a beautiful woman undressing alone in her bathroom, stepping into the Jacuzzi, spreading her legs and masturbating to an aquatic orgasm on one of the ferociously whirling jets?  Or do you like to combine exhibitionism and voyeurism, and just watch yourself in the mirror?

What does it mean to be seen?  To be seen is to be a star.  A sex symbol–immortal, if only for a moment.  So what about seeing?  To see is to glimpse a special secret, to go behind the curtain, to gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, and sexual knowledge is sexual power.  No wonder you feel so excited and even powerful when you see someone or something special in a sexual way.  No wonder we all can appreciate the erotic pleasures of voyeurism.

The passive delights of voyeurism are especially popular among the rich and powerful. Pope Alexander IX was one of history’s most decadent voyeurs.  That’s right, a Catholic pope was openly enjoying banquets such as what follows, as described by his master of ceremonies Burchard, Bishop of Ostia: “Fifty reputable courtesans supped at the Vatican…and after supper they danced about with the servants and others in that place, first in their clothes and then nude…candelabras and lighted candles were set on the floor and chestnuts were strewn about and the naked courtesans on hands and feet gathered them up, wriggling in and out among the candelabras…Then all those present in the hall were carnally treated in public… The pope gave prizes to the men who copulated the most times with the courtesans.”  Pope Alexander IX of the notorious Borgia family ruled the Catholic faithful from 1492 until his death in 1503 and was known for his libertine pleasures as well as for his relatively benign treatment of Jews, slaves and others.  Possibly all that voyeuristic entertainment helped to make him more “Catholic,” at least in the liberal, compassionate sense of the word. Other famous voyeurs from the annals of history include Lord Byron, Casanova, Charlie Chaplin, King Farouk, Errol Flynn, Maxim Gorki, Victor Hugo, Martin Luther and the notorious Marquis de Sade.

voyeur

Some call voyeurs “Peeping Toms,” stemming from the medieval story of Lady Godiva—obviously an aristocratic exhibitionist—who rode through town naked to protest her husband Lord Godiva’s unfair taxing of the townspeople (a bleeding heart liberal show-off if ever there was one). All the townspeople were supposed to close their shutters and not look upon the naked Lady on her horse. But one naughty, rather horny young man named Tom couldn’t resist taking a peep (can you blame him?), so that’s where we get the term “Peeping Tom.”

Though the word “voyeur” comes from the French, voir, “to see”, let’s not forget it really encompasses more than just the eyes. Sound is a big part of the pleasure of sensual observation.  Ever find yourself overhearing the muffled moans of a housemate or neighbor banging away across the hall? Maybe you put your ear up to the door for more? Perhaps you’ve passed by an open window and had to stop yourself, listening to the excited breathing, a headboard hitting the wall, heightened voices… coming from just beyond. Did it turn you on? How could it not? Feelings are contagious, after all, and sound transports feelings, especially if the sound is someone sighing or crying out in ecstasy.

Speaking of feelings, do you need to talk about your voyeuristic desires, experiences or fantasies?  Are your voyeuristic feelings getting you into trouble—or on the verge of trouble?  Are you watching “too much” porn—maybe to the point that you feel (or someone you love feels) you are “addicted”?  Are you spending so much time watching that you have no time or energy to actually do anything with your sex life?  Would you sometimes rather just watch porn than have sex with your lover, even if she’s right in your bed waiting for you?  Are you looking at stuff that’s illegal?  Are you spying on someone without their consent?  Do you find yourself going to strip clubs instead of doing the hard work of playing the dating game?  Are you spending all your money on erotic entertainers who dominate you, turning you into a helpless “money slave” to their demands?  Are they humiliating you, cuckolding you and taking advantage of your voyeuristic needs?  Has your voyeurism morphed into cheating?  Are you doing things that make you feel ashamed and guilty afterwards?  Are your natural voyeuristic desires spiraling out of control?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you would greatly benefit by talking with someone who understands your desires and can help you regain control and keep them from ruining your life—without being forced to “abstain” or give up the natural, positive pleasures of voyeurism.  This is a specialty of ours here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute.  Many “regular” sex therapists aren’t comfortable addressing these topics, or perhaps you don’t feel comfortable talking to a regular therapist about your most personal feelings.  Whatever your concerns, rest assured, you can talk to us. World-renowned sexologist Dr. Susan Block, a Yale graduate with two doctorates, and the therapists of the Institute, are all excellent in their various fields, utilizing telephone sex therapy to listen, talk to you and help you deal with all your voyeuristic pleasures, problems, questions and desires.  You can talk to us about anything, and usually we can help, as we have helped people all over the world for over two decades.

And yes, you can masturbate, if you like, during sessions.  And, no, there is no other sex therapy or phone sex service quite like ours.  Our form of sex therapy is unique in that we can discuss and help you with your real-life situations, and/or we can enter the Erotic Theater of the Mind (your mind or ours or a combination) and roleplay your voyeuristic fantasies—even the forbidden kind that would get you into serious trouble if you acted them out in real life.  In fact, one of our specialties is “the forbidden,” the stuff you can’t talk about to anyone else.  After all, pretty much everything is safe on the phone—where you can close your eyes and fantasize the wildest scenes possible through the hidden camera of your imagination. Moreover, rest assured that your secrets are safe with us.  Therapy with the Institute is completely private, discreet and confidential.  Of course, we can’t tell you their names, but we count many celebrities and world leaders among our clients, so we understand the importance of strict confidentiality.  We have been around and we intend to stay around, and we value your privacy as we value our reputation.

Voyeuristic phone sex therapy is fun, satisfying, edifying, defuses desires (so you’re less likely to get into trouble) and often leads to great insights into your sexuality and other aspects of your deeper self.  We’ve found the phone—private, intimate and essentially non-visual—to be an excellent vehicle for this kind of erotic insight.  Then again, voyeurism is primarily a visual interest, and you can also enjoy a very personal voyeuristic experience tailored to your desires with one of our webcam sex therapists.

Whatever your voyeuristic pleasure or problem, we’re here for you, 24/7, every day and night, including holidays, whether you need to talk…or just watch.  Give us a call anytime at 213.291.9497.

Tantric Phone Sex Therapy

tantra_mantra_faces

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Do you seek a more spiritual approach to sexuality?

Are you dissatisfied with the sex-negative dogma of most organized religions, yet not entirely comfortable with the crass, objectifying, even soul-deadening lack of intimacy involved in most non-spiritual approaches to sex?

Do you want to find “pure bliss” in this lifetime? Do you desire erotic enlightenment?  Do you long to feel the deepest connection between your body and your partner’s, or between the universe inside and outside of you? Would you like to experience better, more frequent, and longer orgasms? Full-body orgasms? Touch-free orgasms? Or are orgasms not really the point for you? Do you yearn for the kind of soul-enlivening intimacy that can only be called “spiritual”?

Are you striving to make sex more than just a path to orgasm, more even than just something “enjoyable”? Do you have a sense that there is a more intense pleasure and deeper understanding and connection available through sex than you have yet experienced? Do you long to practice a more “sacred” sexuality?  Or, perhaps your desires are more down to earth… perhaps you are seeking a real solution to a real physical problem. Then again, maybe you are just curious by nature, and are eager to explore new regions of erotic knowledge and understanding.

In any case, if the answer to more than one of the above questions is “yes,” you would benefit from learning something about Tantric Sex.

Although there are many definitions, Tantra is a body of beliefs, practices, and teachings aimed at expanding consciousness, enhancing interconnectedness, and weaving the different natures of the universe into an integrated whole. In fact, the word “tantra” means “weaving,” and tantric ritual seeks to weave the supra-mundane or spiritual with the mundane or physical, identifying the microcosm with the macrocosm.  The Tantric practitioner uses yoga, mantras, mudras, mandalas, chakras, yantras and other systems to attempt to manipulate prana, an energy that flows through the universe (inside and outside of one’s own body) to attain goals that may be spiritual, material or both.

“Tantric Sex” forms a subdomain of this overall tradition that weaves the spiritual with the material. Some call tantric sex “neotantra,” identifying it as the “new age” variation or modern Western interpretation of traditional Eastern Hindu and Buddhist tantra. Tantric sex uses special mind and body techniques to cultivate ecstatic consciousness as well as increased spiritual awareness of the erotic consciousness that pervades one’s human nature.  Tantric sexual methods may be practiced alone, in partnership, or in the sacred sex rituals of groups.

Tantric sexual practices aren’t “just” about heightened consciousness.  They certainly have immediate, tangible benefits: they can make you more anatomically flexible, and can help solve many physical sexual problems. Tantric sex techniques can be a great help to women who have difficulty experiencing orgasm, men with premature ejaculation tendencies and couples who wish to attain more intimacy through sex. These practices can greatly help people to “slow down,” breathe deep and discover new and exciting sexual positions and techniques. Tantric practice can literally breathe new life into your sexuality.

However, Tantra is also about going even deeper…about connecting with the sexuality of your partner (whatever their sex, and whatever way you swing), and connecting with the orgasmic sexuality of the entire universe. Tantric sex practices not only teach us ways of prolonging and enhancing the pleasure of making love, but of utilizing potent orgasmic energies more effectively for your overall health, enlightenment and well-being. This is not only to increase your individual awareness and understanding, but that of the people around you. Overall tantric philosophy focuses on enhancing compassion and consciousness, so as to serve, heal and help others: one of the greatest pleasures in life. Indeed, serving, healing and helping others is exactly what the Block Institute is all about.

Dr. Susan Block, the founder of the Institute, has studied and practiced various forms of Tantra since she was a freshman at Yale University where she meditated and practiced Kundalini yoga and advanced deep breathing techniques for an hour every day before class.  She went on to study at Tantric ashrams and communities in Kathmandu, Nepal and Dharamsala, India, as well as with the late Tibetan Tantric Meditation Master Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, eminent embodiment of the “crazy wisdom” (Tibetan: yeshe chölwa) tradition of Tibetan Buddhism, and other Tantric masters and practitioners at Naropa Institute in Boulder, Colorado.  She has also studied the work of Guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh aka Osho, and follows Margot Anand’s “Skydancing Tantra,” Annie Sprinkle’s “Tantric Massage,” Diana Daffner’s “Tantric Sex for Busy Couples,” Dr. Judy Kuriansky’s “Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex” and Barbara Carrellas’ “Urban Tantra” and the harnessing of ecstasy.

Dr. Block and some of our other more Tantra-skilled therapists here at the Institute can help you with your questions about this ancient and yet thoroughly modern philosophy of the erotic mind and body. We teach many Tantric practices and principles, as well as provide a Tantric Sexual Experience, with a customized combination of Erotic Hypnosis, Guided Masturbation, Erotic Theater Therapy:  Fantasy Roleplay, Bonobo Liberation Therapy, Sensual Domination, Sex Therapy, Phone Sex Therapy and Tantric techniques.  We teach and practice Tantra over the phone, on webcam and via text and provide in-person Tantric sex education classes and tutorials for some of our regular phone and webcam clients.

If you’re interested in Tantra or any kind of deep, meaningful sexuality, we’re here for you.  And you can talk with us any time of day or night, any day of the week, even holidays.  We’re ready to teach you, learn from you, guide you, serve you and heal you. We’re here to take your sexuality to a higher level physically and spiritually.  Don’t worry about concepts that seem complex or foreign, or even if you feel you’re far from the spiritual state you think you ought to be in.  We understand. And we’re here to help. It’s easy to talk to us, and you’ll be surprised how good you’ll feel when you do—body, mind and soul.

Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute anytime at 213.291.9497. We’re open 24/7, and we’re here for you.

Phallus Fetish – Phone Sex Therapy

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Does penis turn you on? (It’s okay, you can admit it… to us.) Do you find yourself thinking about, visualizing, or  fantasizing about them (or one in particular), either a lot, or just a little? Maybe you spend time seeking out the male member in online or other forms of pornography. Maybe you’re considering having a physical, sexual encounter with one in real life (and we don’t mean just your own). Maybe you already have. Maybe it was recently, maybe it was from long ago… perhaps in your childhood, be it friendly or sensual, and now you’re thinking about it again.  Maybe you’re considering looking but not touching…or maybe more.

Attraction by a male to the penis of another male is quite common, and comes in an amazing number of variations. Maybe it’s just in the context of women; maybe the idea of a threesome with a hot girl and another guy turns you on. You may have a cuckolding fantasy or a desire to be humiliated.  Maybe you like to watch women, but find lesbian porn a little boring.  You’d rather see the woman having sex with a guy… yep, there’s that penis.  That doesn’t make you weird or gay or even necessarily bi.  One reason that straight male/female porn is the most popular form for straight guys to watch is that most enjoy watching a hot woman having sex with a well-hung guy.  And the guy himself usually isn’t all that important.  It’s the penis.

You might be more turned on when this penis is very large and super hard, attached to a strong, muscular, dominant “real man” who knows how to use it.   Then again, maybe you like a penis attached to someone that looks and acts like a female, aka a she-male or transsexual.  Maybe you want to worship a “superior” penis, or let both your cocks and balls compete in a “sperm war.”  Maybe you enjoy being penetrated by a finger dildo, but feel a penis can do more for you.  Maybe your desire for the penis is oral.

Maybe sex isn’t even a part of it… perhaps you are simply fascinated by another man’s member, for reasons which aren’t just about lust.  Think about all the phallic objects in the world—from cannons to columns, skyscrapers to obelisks—most of it manmade, and you might realize how many other guys through history have had a bit of a penis fetish.

Either way, in today’s world, even with increasing tolerance for homosexuality, bisexuality, and a healthy sexual curiosity, the same sex attraction to a penis is still stigmatized by a cultural subtext that labels it “deviant.” Even labeling things as simplistically as “gay” or “straight” can actually serve to diminish our understanding, not to mention our pleasure.  The truth may be that human sexuality is nuanced, varied, and runs a wide gamut, taking on an infinite variety of forms. But “truth” and “reality” don’t always coincide. So you may find it challenging—to say the least–to work out your feelings or desires, realized or not, when it comes to your interest in penises.

Think about how many guys engaged in games that involved comparing members as little kids. Many go further… touching, playing and performing with them…after all, with a healthy curiosity comes a curiosity about sex, and our bodies. For some, the curiosity was just that. For others, it led to deeper, more long lasting feelings and desires. Now, after some time, maybe you still feel the need to satisfy some unfulfilled urge. Perhaps you want to know how to do this in your life, or maybe you want to gain control over those desires or just work out very confused feelings.

Over all, you just might need to talk with someone who understands and can help you sort out your feelings. Simply trying to repress these feelings can lead to your brain frying, as evidenced by all the closet “homosexuals” recently emerging in the harsh glare of the media from, say, the Republican Party, or the priesthood of the Catholic Church. All the inordinate time spent hypocritically railing against and oppressing feelings that are quite normal can lead to those unexpressed needs and wants festering and mutating until they cause real damage and pain… hence all the scandals that plague many of our most venerated institutions.

Whatever desires you have, if you want to simply learn more about them and what they mean, or if you are concerned that they are “deviant” (they’re not) or that you are “gay” or “bi,” you should know that nothing is wrong, and that we are here to help you cope with your feelings and your situation, your fantasies and your reality. If you just want to explore the aural pleasures of a penis-oriented, sexpert-guided masturbation or erotic hypnosis session, that’s also available to you.  Many of our male and female therapists have penis fetishes themselves, and have been through many growth experiences learning about this endlessly fascinating subject.  Speaking of fascinating, the Latin root of that word is fascinum, a penis-shaped amulet that ancient Roman men and women wore on necklaces for good luck.

But back to you.  Do you need to talk about this?  Whether you’re looking for serious therapy or a hot phone sex experience, you can talk to us.  In our work, we’ve talked to thousands of people of all kinds in different situations from many different places and cultures around the world—all strictly confidential.  We wouldn’t say we’ve “heard it all,” but we’ve heard a LOT. We don’t judge you. We help you.  If you don’t feel “normal”, if you need advice, or just want to express yourself, you can call us anytime.  Don’t be embarrassed.  You’d be amazed at the number of seemingly “mainstream” people who have hidden desires like this under the surface. Even if you’ve never really talked about this before, you’ll be amazed at how easy it is to talk with us, and how good you’ll feel when you do. Call the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497. We’re open 24/7, and we’re here for you.

Virgin Phone Sex Therapy

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Virgin, huh? That’s got to be tough. Whether by choice or by circumstance (or both), the overwhelming mythology we subscribe to in today’s society is that it’s the norm to lose your virginity by the time you’re out of your teens. Even as prudish, vanilla, hypocritical, and somewhat oppressed as some parts of this society may be, this is the undercurrent of the modern world. Maybe it shouldn’t be that way, and maybe some people are happy as virgins. Maybe you’re one of them! Even so, if you’ve reached your 20s and you still haven’t had sexual intercourse, for better or worse, you’re considered “outside the norm.”

This has to impart some psychological toll. You might feel like a throwback, an outcast, a loser, confused or just plain frustrated.  Maybe you want desperately to lose your virginity, but don’t know how, under your circumstances. Maybe you’re not so eager, but you still want to talk about your feelings, desires and options with someone who understands and isn’t going to judge you or make you feel awkward. Perhaps you’re not sure what you want; you just know you need to communicate, to sort it all out.  But you’d feel weird talking about this to friends or family, let alone clergy, and understandably so.  You may not even feel comfortable discussing this with a regular therapist or counselor.  But you know you need to talk about it with someone with expertise and compassion, someone who can help you.

That’s what we’re here for at The Dr. Susan Block Institute. We’re cutting-edge sex therapists, and we talk to all types of people, with all types of sexual problems, issues, questions, kinks, desires, fantasies, fetishes and hang-ups. In fact, some of us have been through many of these issues ourselves. We speak from personal experience as well as professional expertise.  Dr. Susan Block and her team has helped thousands of men and women from all over the world, including a number of sexual virgins.

If you want to “lose” your virginity, we can help you to find an appropriate and desirable sexual partner, just as we’ve helped so many others in similar situations—sometimes after decades of trying with no luck (some of these have gone on, in fact, to become sexual dynamos)!

If, on the other hand, you want to remain a virgin—perhaps until marriage or maybe for life—we can help you to cope with your sexual feelings, frustrations, beliefs and fantasies in a positive, pleasurable and enlightening way.  Just because you stay a virgin doesn’t mean you have to be sexless or lonely. No matter what your particular situation, being a sexual virgin shouldn’t be a life sentence to emotional solitary confinement.

Does being a virgin or the fantasy of being a virgin, or perhaps being “deflowered,” turn you on?  What about the other side of the virgin sex coin? Do you have a “virgin fetish”? Do you want to do the deflowering? Does the sexual inexperience and erotic innocence of virginity turn you on? The “virgin fetish” has captivated the erotic minds of billions of men and quite a few women since the dawn of civilization. It’s one of humanity’s more common fetishes. And yet it can be extremely problematic, since once you’ve deflowered your virgin, he or she is no longer a virgin. So where do you go from there? Fantasy roleplay is a safe and exciting alternative. Therapy to help you understand where your virgin fetish comes from and how to handle it, also helps

Whatever your circumstances, whether you are a virgin, you fetishize virgins or you just had sex in the tiny WC of Virgin Airlines, whether you want to make a change, explore a fantasy or you just need to talk, you can talk to us.  For telephone sex therapy, webcam, sext therapy from anywhere in the world, or for in-person counseling at our offices in Los Angeles, you can call us anytime.  We’re here for you every day, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Call us now!  Whenever you need to talk, you can call the sex therapists of the Dr. Susan Block Institute at 213.291.9497.

Erotic Retreat for Couples at Villa Bonobo in LA

“The Lovers” René Magritte

Pleasure is a pursuit. Sharing pleasure is a delight. Sharing pleasure in a long-term relationship is an art form.
Susan M. Block, PhD

Take a break from your sex-stultifying routine. Go on an adventure together. Explore new worlds inside and out. Stimulate your libido. Open your heart. Rekindle your passion. Develop healthier, more effective communication skills. Gain insight into ongoing problems and develop a plan for solving or coping with them. Savor succulent, healthy cuisine and libations, play on amazing erotic furniture, immerse yourselves in art, romance and bohemian sensuality. Learn The Bonobo Way in Bonoboville. Get the 10 Commandments of Pleasure from the source of ethical hedonism and the home of the “long-term love affair.” Discover deeper intimacy and greater arousal. Discover each other. Fall in love again….

Do something special to enhance your relationship—erotically, therapeutically, artistically and romantically—at a very unique, private, erotic retreat, the “Hotel Bonobo” inside the world-renowned Dr. Susan Block Institute.

Enjoy a dynamic experience that feels like the best kind of vacation: an exciting, romantic getaway in a place some call the “adult Disneyland,” with a custom-made therapeutic structure designed to enrich your sexual connection. This is not a group program or workshop. This is a private, very personalized weekend getaway or weeknight retreat for you and your special someone at the Institute.

Since your retreat is highly customized to your needs as individuals and couples, every retreat is different. But there are certain similarities. Imagine staying in an art-filled private room at a beautiful retro 1950s motel surrounded by romantic balconies, a palm-tree garden, a friendly bar, pool table, Sybian machine, bondage crosses, monkey rockers and other erotic curiosities. Your private room with French doors (that don’t open) allow you to peek into the bar or, if you open your curtain, others could peek in on you. Just upstairs is the commissary serving complimentary gourmet meals to your taste. All around you is erotic art and sex furniture you can play on, as well as sex toys you can play with. Depending on the night(s) you’re here, there may be other couples hanging out at the open bar, partying in a sensual, clothing-optional atmosphere, or you may have virtually the whole place to yourself, except for the friendly, helpful Institute staff to serve your needs and desires.

Block Institute Director Susan M. Block, Ph.D.

Of course, the Erotic Urban Retreat for Couples at the Block Institute in LA is much more than a romantic getaway. The Institute is a place of learning in the erotic arts and sciences, directed by world-renowned sexologist, Dr. Susan Block, a Magna cum Laude graduate of Yale University with two doctorates, a Ph.D. in psychology from Pacific Western University and a Doctor of Arts Honoris Causa from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality. Your Block Institute retreat would include at least one in-person therapy session with Dr. Block, who generally takes a three-pronged approach to sex therapy: 1) analysis, 2) technique and 3) adventure.

Though Dr. Block is best-known for her best-selling books, HBO specials and appearances on Oprah, Nightline and Playboy TV, she is deeply devoted to her private sex therapy work with couples, as well as singles, in person and over the phone. Your retreat may also involve some of the Institute’s other therapists. In keeping with our eclectic approach to life and sex therapy, the therapists of the Institute specialize in a wide variety of areas of expertise, from sexologists like Dr. Block to tantric sex practitioners, registered nurses, adult film stars, artists, acrobats, educators, masseuses, masters, dommes, interns and sex toy specialists.

If you’ve “never done anything like this” before, don’t be embarrassed. We all need help with sex at one time or another, especially those of us in long-term relationships. Besides, there’s no “shame” in staying in a super cool place like the Block Institute. Nevertheless, your total privacy and confidentiality is of utmost importance to us. Though Dr. Block herself is a public figure, she and all of our therapists are extremely scrupulous about maintaining the complete privacy and confidentiality of our guests and clients. Though we’ve got some great testimonials, we wish we could tell you about the wonderful things some of our famous guests have said about the Institute, but our lips are sealed.

So what are you waiting for? Book an erotic retreat at the Institute for you and your special someone right now! Or just get more information when you call 626-461-5950. Someone is always here to take your call.

Single? Ask about our Solo Erotic Retreats.

Please note: Retreats start at $750.00.

Hotel-Bonobo

Get in touch with us

U.S.A. &
International

1.213.291.9497

Australia
07.3053.8037

Canada
1.866.207.7521

France
01.727.701.34

Mexico
05.585.256.466

United Kingdom
020.710.194.30

Singapore
800.130.1602

Skype
213.599.7398

Southhampton,
New York

631.268.2005

You may also call us at 
213.291.9497
and we will call you back anywhere in the world!


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