Have you ever wanted to just be a baby again?
Do you get aroused by the idea—or the reality—of wearing diapers, being held by warm strong arms, nuzzling big soft breasts, suckling mama’s nipples, being spanked, being cuddled, coddled or just plain babied? Do you want to cry like a baby? Laugh like a baby? Mess your diaper like a baby? Be treated like a spoiled, cranky, naughty or very good, very special baby?
You’re not alone.
Do you need to talk about it privately and confidentially with someone who understands?
The Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other types of sexuality, whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience. Call us anytime at 213-291-9497
Are you an Adult Baby Diaper Lover?
Everyone enjoys being “babied” sometimes, but some crave it some quite literally.
If you like roleplaying that you are a baby and/or wear diapers—either for sexual or nonsexual reasons—you may be an Adult Baby Diaper Lover (AB/DL).
You may enjoy enacting childhood activities such as crawling on the floor, playing with toys, sucking on a pacifier or talking in baby talk, or being cared for by a parent—a mommy or daddy (more on that later!)—or a babysitter. Or perhaps just like to wear diapers, because the sensation of diapers might give you an erotic charge and/or a feeling of comfort which you can incorporate in your sexual relationships.
AB/DL, sometimes referred to as “infantilism,” encompasses a wide spectrum, and anyone who identifies as such has their own definition of what it means to them and what they enjoy. Some people, like those who identify as adult toddlers, may want to just wear children’s clothes and not be entirely helpless. Others yearn to hand over total control to a “dominant” caregiver, letting them take care of everything, from reading them books at bedtime to making their food (which consists mostly of baby food, snacks, or whatever the adult baby desires) to even changing their dirty “diapees,” There are also adult bed-wetters, who find comfort and/or excitement in peeing in bed or “messing” their diapers.
Many enjoy AB/DL in a BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominance & Submission/Sadomaschism) context, with a Domme acting as Mommy—a “Dommy Mommy”—or a “Daddy Dom” providing discipline, like spanking or flogging, or gagging with a pacifier.
Long-time misconceptions of people who identify as AB/DL have been images of lazy, unappealing older men, who use the AB/DL moniker to give credence to their need for someone to take care of them.
That might be true of some, but many AB/DLs are high-functioning, independent people in the real world, and very capable of caring for themselves. Many are CEOs, bankers, college students, lawyers, professors—even world leaders (one prominent big baby comes to mind)—or otherwise ordinary folks. Sometimes their demanding, intensive schedules and always-in-control, high-pressure lifestyles feed into their need to check into their AB/DL personas to hand over control to someone else.
AB/DLs are also not pedophiles; this is yet another common misconception due to the link between childhood regression and sexuality. The vast majority of AB/DLs do not want to have sex with kids, they want to be kids.
Anyone within the AB/DL community will be quick to tell you that AB/DL is a roleplaying fantasy between consenting adults only, not with any real children at all.
Why Do You Like Diapers?
There is no single, definitive “cause” for AB/DL desires.
Furthermore, there is not likely to be just one reason that you long to return to your diaper-wearing days and suck on a pacifier as an adult. Like most fetishes and sexual interests, your desire probably stems from a combination of experiences, tendencies and needs.
One likely root of your AB/DL fetish would be your need to feel supported, nurtured, comforted or controlled. Perhaps you want to release your “inner child” to escape the pressures, responsibilities and the hypocrisy of adult life, if only temporarily. Hard-to-handle feelings of adult guilt—real or imagined—may drive you to seek the innocence of babyhood.
Your fetish for diapers might also relate to how you were toilet trained, especially if your toilet training was somehow difficult. Perhaps you experienced some trauma related to your childhood, and your AB/DL feelings are a way of coping with that. You may have received too much or not enough attention as a child, so you crave the feeling of being nurtured and/or disciplined by a parent figure. Perhaps you also eroticize these feelings, though not all AB/DL are aroused sexually by indulging their fetish. For some, it’s just comforting.
Perhaps the feeling of a Huggie hugging your bottom turns you on or just helps you to feel more secure in your daily life, secretly sporting your Bambinos under your Chinos.
Then again, you might have real-life medical issues that require you to wear diapers 24/7. Not every adult who has to wear diapers eroticizes them; in fact, most don’t. But many do, and sexualizing those diapers that you have to wear anyway can help you to feel good about something that otherwise might feel shameful, onerous or uncomfortable.
Did you know that astronauts often wear diapers? Called Maximum Absorbency Garments (MAG), these are adult-sized diapers with extra absorption material that NASA astronauts wear during liftoff, landing, and extra-vehicular activity (EVA) to absorb urine and feces. Wonder if some of those Space Force cadets are AB/DL…
However, most AB/DL don’t have to wear diapers; they just like to.
If you’re just beginning to understand your interest in diapers or your desire to suck your thumb, eat dinosaur-shaped cereal or wear cartoon-covered onesies, you might want to take some time exploring it on your own before trying to share it with someone new in your life.
Certain toys, clothes, or behaviors might trigger your AB/DL side, or perhaps activities like watching cartoons or G-rated movies, using baby talk or messing your diaper. Take time to try different scenes to examine what feels best for you.
Do you enjoy having sex in a diaper? Lots of AB/DL do, whether it’s masturbation, oral, BDSM-oriented or just “regular” sexual intercourse with the added spice of one or both partners wearing diapers and/or doing age play.
Every adult baby, diaper lover, little, adult toddler, sissy baby, diaper boy, diaper girl, etc. is different, and it takes time to understand why this fetish speaks to you. If you need to talk about it, give us call at 213.291.9497. We’re here for you and all your adult baby needs.
AB/DL and “Little” Kink
If you enjoy living your AB/DL fantasies in a kink-specific context, AB/DL crosses over quite often into BDSM. Instead of being called an adult baby or diaper lover, some kinksters are called “littles” while their caregivers are often called Bigs, Daddies or Mommies.
The relationship between a little and a Big can be similar to that of a sub and a Dom/me where the Big/Daddy/Mommy provides Dominant support to their submissive little.
Littles can be of any gender, age or sexual orientation. If you are the little, your Dom/me may nurture, discipline and/or control you. In certain relationships, you may enjoy soiling your diaper in order to get humiliated by their Mommy or Daddy. Usually this involves water sports, but could include Coprophagia, a.k.a., a feces fetish.
Not all littles identify as babies or toddlers; they just enjoy pretending to be young, usually in the context of “age play.”
Just like other types of submissives may go into “subspace” in a BDSM session, you may experience “little space,” a pleasant, out-of-control, often ecstatic, sometimes orgasmic feeling, like being “in the zone.”
Little space can be triggered in different ways, from the Dommy Mommy or Daddy uttering certain sounds or phrases, being babied, controlled, spanked or disciplined in other ways that turn you on or take you on a trip into a dream world where you feel like you really are the little baby of your fantasies.
Challenges of AB/DL
Many AB/DLs live in shame and have difficulty accepting this facet of their personality and/or sexuality, let alone disclosing it to anyone else.
However you feel, it’s okay to feel that way. But it certainly helps your sense of well-being to feel good about yourself and your sexuality.
Some try to stop AB/DL desires from occurring, but it’s usually impossible to stop your own desires. You can control what you do and how you behave, but you can’t control what you think or how you feel. Nevertheless, lots of people try, throwing away their diapers as they vow never to wear them again, then buying more when the urge gets irresistible, called “binge and purge” syndrome. Sometimes they can go without their fetish for years, but usually it comes back in some way. These back-and-forth patterns often create frustration, rage, stress, insecurity and even depression.
To help you with this, you might want to get into therapy. Of course, not many therapists, even sex therapists, are knowledgeable or understanding of AB/DL. Some therapists might be judgmental. Some erroneously believe in the misconceptions listed above and might even make an AB/DL feel worse about their feelings than they did before they went into therapy!
Unfortunately, there also isn’t a lot of research dedicated to understanding AB/DL, so you probably won’t find as much information online about it as you would about other common fetishes.
However, you can talk about it with the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Several of us are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other aspects of AB/DL, whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience. Call us anytime 24/7 at 213-291-9497.
Whether you get into therapy or not, it’s important to know that there is nothing wrong with being an AB/DL. It’s not illegal or unethical, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
That said, it’s not for everyone. In fact, it’s not for most people.
That’s okay; you don’t have to share it with everyone—just an understanding therapist, sex worker, lover or friend is usually enough.
Dating can be especially challenging for AB/DLs.
Nevertheless, it’s possible, and if you’re patient and lucky, it can be fantastic.
In some cases a partner may even feel moved to participate and share in an AB/DL’s roleplay, enacting the role of the caretaker by feeding their beloved adult baby milk from a bottle, reading them a bedtime story, speaking to them in baby talk, spanking them and/or changing their diaper. As with all sexual activities, it’s important that couples negotiate their expectations and boundaries.
Not all AB/DL play involves sex, so some people enjoy adult baby play with no sex involved.
If it proves difficult for you to get into a relationship with someone who will enjoy AB/DL with you, consider booking a session with a sex worker, escort, dominatrix or other professional who specializes in AB/DL. There’s nothing wrong with going to a sex worker, and it might be perfect for you, especially if you’re shy about bringing it up to someone in a dating context.
Escorting should be decriminalized, and it is in some states. Even if it’s not legal in your area, much adult baby play doesn’t involve sex anyway, so you needn’t worry about legalities.
That doesn’t mean you should give up on finding someone special with whom to share your fetish. Rest assured, there are people out there who are open to learning more about AB/DL. They may be interested for their own reasons, or they may get involved just because they love their partner and want to do what they enjoy.
Loving an AB/DL
Is someone you love an adult baby?
Loving an AB/DL doesn’t require expertise in the subject, but does demand some compassion, understanding and acceptance.
Having your partner come out to you as an Adult Baby Diaper Lover can be rather shocking, especially when you aren’t familiar with AB/DLs. There’s nothing wrong with you if you’re shocked, but that doesn’t mean you should expect your AB/DL lover to toss their Pampers in the trash and forget about them from now on. They can’t and they won’t. If they never bring it up to you again, rest assured that they are simply enjoying their fetish when you are not around. They may even be doing it with someone else. Regardless, they are still thinking about it and feeling bad about your intolerance, whether it makes them feel ashamed, angry, depressed or just frustrated.
However, if you’re open minded, or at least willing to hear them out, ask questions about their specific experiences and fantasies, and do a little research (start by carefully reading the previous sections), you can learn where they’re coming from and how you might fit in. Some AB/DLs are fine just acting out their fantasy by themselves or around you. Others prefer that you participate, usually as a caretaker or fellow baby. Some want to incorporate diapers into sex.
This might be a deal-breaker for you, and that could be painful for both of you. But better to break up now than suffer in silence or expect them to forget their desires as you go along as if nothing’s different.
If you do want to maintain the relationship, you need to be open and understanding, and you might find yourself surprised that it’s not as bad as you feared. Maybe you’ll even have fun with it. It might even turn you on!
Nevertheless, your own comfort level is as important as theirs. All sexual and interpersonal activity should be consensual. You should try new things, stretch your boundaries and expand your horizons. There’s nothing wrong with doing something that doesn’t turn you on just because it makes your partner feel good. They probably do things just to make you happy sometimes. Just don’t do anything you really don’t want to do.
You might find that you enjoy some AB/DL activities, but not others. For instance, maybe you enjoy feeding your adult baby, tickling them, talking baby talk or giving them a good spanking, but you are not up for changing their diapers. Don’t be afraid to assert your boundaries. Just because you’re in love with an AB/DL doesn’t mean you have to give into all of your baby’s demands.
Want some tips on handling your adult baby—or your own emotions? Got questions or concerns? Call the Therapists Without Borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute. We can help.
Need to Talk about AB/DL?
Still have questions? Not sure how to explore your Adult Baby Diaper Lover fetish by yourself or with a partner? Want to b
etter understand this aspect of your life? Are you in a relationship with an AB/DL and not sure how to handle it? Are you an AB/DL who wants to share this with your spouse, partner or someone new? It’s okay if there’s more you need to know. AB/DL is widely misunderstood, and it’s hard to find someone with whom to discuss, discover, explore and enjoy them.
Whatever your desires or concerns, you can talk about them with the Therapists Without Borders at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Several of us are experts in adult baby fetishes, diaper play and other aspects of AB/DL. Whether you want serious sex therapy or just an erotic phone sex or webcam experience, we’re just a phone call away. Call us anytime 24/7 at 213-291-9497.
We’re here for you.